loop back

It's autumn, and the morning sun is very warm.

Hanyu went out early today to participate in the bidding meeting that he has been talking about for so many days.

As soon as Hanyu left, Yi Ning called, saying he was asking for leave, so I didn't go to the store at all, and stayed at home.

After thinking about it for a while, I decided to go to the hospital.

One is because the doctor in charge has been calling me for a long time, until he himself noticed that something was wrong with me, or thought that there was something wrong with my mind, and he didn't call me again recently.

The second reason is that I have no medicine to take.

After much deliberation, I still took a taxi to the hospital.

-

There are a lot of people in the hospital, and I am a little scared in the lobby now. I don't like crowded places, and I seem to be a little autistic.

After tossing and going for several floors, I finally hung up the doctor's number. It was already noon, and I looked helplessly at the people crowded in the aisle, then looked down at my number, and couldn't help but start counting silently.The medical staff go to work at 5:50, based on the frequency of completing the registration procedures for one person in [-] minutes, then I should not be in the [-]th place. I sighed, forget it, wait.

-

"On the 58th, Liao Wentong, please go to the second clinic..."

The mechanical female voice came to my ears, and I moved my already numb body.

When he entered the door, the last patient hadn't left yet. The doctor prescribed a prescription for medicine, and his family members took him out in a hurry.I was seated by an intern who confirmed my name.

The doctor raised his head when he heard my name, and looked at me in surprise.

The doctor looked at me and didn't speak. He asked the interns to get up and close the door of the consulting room.

Only then did he open his mouth: "Why don't you come to treat the illness..." He kept frowning and straightened his posture to talk to me.

The atmosphere was awkward, I didn't know what expression to make, "Something..." I rubbed my hands, feeling a little uncomfortable.

"You go out first." The doctor waved his hand and let the student go out.

I was suddenly a little nervous, and was replaced by an inexplicable relief.

The doctor looked at my old medical records and test sheets.

Then he opened his mouth very formally: "Mr. Liao...I hope to talk to your family."

I was stunned for a second, and then I didn't know if my voice was trembling, "I have no family..."

family...

The doctor raised his eyebrows in surprise when he heard it. I've probably seen many people like this in my many years of practice, and he didn't show many emotions anymore.

"Then Mr. Liao, I won't hide much..."

I listened carefully to what the doctor had to say next.

He paused and slowed down.

"Mr. Liao, I haven't checked your physical condition recently, so I don't know, but you should know how long you have been delaying... Is there any canceration or spread..."

The doctor lost his voice, turned around and opened the examination on the computer, I quickly added,

"My medicine is gone, please open another bottle for me..."

It was only after I said it that I realized something was wrong. The doctor started to look at me with strange eyes, that eyes meant that you didn’t understand what I just said.

The doctor stopped what he was doing.

"Mr. Liao, what I mean is that you should be admitted to the hospital for treatment. You must have examinations, medication and radiotherapy."

I smiled helplessly and didn't speak, I was really afraid of something...

The doctor sighed.

"Mr. Liao, if you have financial difficulties, you can apply for help from the hospital or the government, but life is the most important thing..."

"Um……"

I vaguely agreed, and I didn't go to any examinations prescribed by the doctor.

Well, after the examination, I will have to go to the hospital. Hanyu is so busy with work, so I don't want to be separated from Hanyu.

-

I prescribed the medicine at the corresponding window, lowered my head and packed my things and walked forward, when I bumped into someone head-on, I quickly lowered my body to pick up things.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I'm in a hurry..."

The person who bumped into me apologized again and again, but I was shocked in place.

"Yi Ning?"

I saw Yi Ning suddenly raised his head to look at me, with fear, anxiety, surprise, and helplessness in his eyes.

-

"A year ago, it was checked out..."

Yi Ning and I stood in front of the viewing window of the sterile room, where lay a girl with various instruments.

Yi Ning looked at him tenderly, and I looked at the gentle Yi Ning.

"At that time I always said I was busy, she...she said she was so uncomfortable...I didn't bring her to check..." I was a little uncomfortable, I have never seen such a fragile Yi Ning, because of choking and even slightly arched her back .

Lying inside is Yi Ning's younger sister.

I often hear Yining mentioning her, but I didn't expect...

Alas, God, don't you distinguish between right and wrong, good and evil, and rewards and punishments?Why do you have to be so cruel to such a beautiful and blooming child...

These years, I know that Yi Ning has a part-time job elsewhere, so it is because of this...

I patted Yi Ning, who was already quiet, and asked for a pen and paper from the nurse at the nurse station, and left a piece of □□ in Yi Ning’s pocket...

-

It was past two o'clock in the afternoon when I came out of the hospital. I checked my watch, it was almost time for Hanyu to go home.

-

I looked at the shoes I had changed at the door in surprise, Hanyu, are you back?

I walked quickly to the bedroom, and found that Hanyu had fallen asleep leaning on the small sofa. He hadn't changed out of his formal attire, and he had left his file bag casually.

I stepped forward and gently changed his posture, today's meeting must be very tiring...

I hid the case and medicine, and went to the kitchen to make soup for Hanyu.

This meeting tossed Hanyu for half a month, but he had to make up for it.

The soup was thick and white, I turned off the fire, turned around to get a spoon, but accidentally stuck my hand firmly to the side of the casserole. I jumped up in pain, and my whole arm was numb.

I covered the small area and blew cool air close to my mouth. I turned back to look for a Band-Aid, but Hanyu stood upright at the door of the kitchen, staring at me and making me numb and scared me. Jump.

"You... are you awake? Why didn't you call me..."

Hanyu didn't speak, frowned, pulled my hand and put it under the faucet anxiously, the cold water washed away the burning pain on my hand.

Hanyu dragged me to the living room again, placed me on the sofa, took the medical kit and put a band-aid on me, without saying a word the whole time.

"Hey, I made soup, do you want to drink it..."

I laughed twice, but Hanyu still didn't answer me, the atmosphere was not right.

What's wrong?what happened?

My dry smile froze on the corner of my mouth, Hanyu took care of my wound, and then said: "Where did you go today?"

Hanyu's voice was dry and hoarse, it seemed that he was really exhausted today.

But this question overwhelmed me, I whimpered, my head quickly told a lie, I pursed my mouth, tried to keep my eyes clear: "Yining's younger sister is hospitalized, I went to the hospital today..."

Hanyu stared at me silently for a few seconds, and then responded to me in a low voice: "Well, eat, what else do you want to eat, I will make it for you..."

I breathed a sigh of relief: "Everything is fine..."

-

After dinner, Hanyu went to the room and didn't talk to me, so I puffed up and cleaned up the leftovers and dirty bowls.

Then I took the medicine and water to go to the bathroom, but Hanyu also caught off guard and followed me in. I couldn't dodge in time, just in time for Hanyu to see the panic of me carrying the medicine behind my back.

"what are you doing?"

Hanyu raised his voice and questioned me, and his eyes became a little more stern, which I am all too familiar with.

I can clearly feel the thumping in my chest, and I am afraid that this secret will be pryed into and known.

"I didn't do anything..."

Hanyu's eyes kept staring at me as if swept through a storm, and finally gradually became powerless.

Until Han Yu left, my heart was still beating rapidly.

-

The atmosphere finally became clear. It was the indifference I hadn't seen for a long time. Hanyu lay quietly on the bed, and I lay down lightly, far away from him.

what happened?What happened?

But I have been in such a beautiful state for so many days.I didn't think much of it, the meds took effect and I fell asleep.

-

Stomach spread from pinprick to colic. I woke up from the pain and wanted to get up to get the medicine, but was scared by the person sitting next to me.

Hanyu...

"You? Have you been up all this time?"

Hanyu sat next to me, obviously watching me all night.

"what happened?"

But the only answer to me is Hanyu's silence...

+ + +

"Come on, come on..."

Auntie's familiar voice gradually approached, until the smiling auntie opened the door and appeared in front of my eyes.

Dad patted my head, and I raised the corners of my mouth, showing my eight teeth.

"Aunt!"

"Hey! Hey! Come in!"

I was led in by my aunt, who took the schoolbag from my father.

"Brothers and sisters, I'm sorry to trouble you, Lao Xu and I will be back tomorrow."

Auntie touched my head, the palm was warm and very comfortable,

"Look at what you said, you always take your son so seriously, I can't wait to see my little Wen Tong every day! You and Lao Xu can rest assured to negotiate the contract, don't forget to bring us two treasures Delicious!"

"Hey, okay, then I'm leaving, Lao Xu is waiting for me below."

"Let's go!"

-

When I was seven years old, I met Xu Hanyu for the first time. Because my father was going on a business trip with my uncle, I was handed over to my aunt to take care of me.

"Wen Tong, Hanyu is upstairs in the greenhouse, you can go and play with him, and call you down after Auntie finishes cooking."

I readily agreed, and ran upstairs.

My father told me every day that my uncle had a younger brother. He always told me to wait and take me to play with him. Now that I can finally meet him, I am naturally indescribably excited and looking forward to it.

I walked upstairs and looked around lightly.

"Hey! You! Stop!"

I was frightened by the sudden scolding, I stumbled, and sat on a hard object, my buttocks were so numb that tears came out, I endured the pain and looked down, the whole buttocks were exactly the right size on the flowerpot.

I looked up at Hanyu again, his face was full of black lines, and his face was full of grief.

"That's me...a flower that just sprouted..."

I didn't feel guilty at all, I was amused by Hanyu's funny expression, and when the smile came out, the tears that had just been provoked became more intense, and I could clearly feel the big teardrops falling down.

The sallow-faced Xiao Hanyu panicked now.

"Hey, you, don't cry, I didn't say anything..."

I laughed through my tears, laughing at his face changing back and forth like changing faces.

"I didn't cry, I'm sorry, I ruined the flowers you planted..."

He was a little embarrassed to see me apologize.

"Ah, it's okay, I'll plant again..."

I looked around and saw that my aunt had turned the big balcony into a flower house, and the flowers in accordance with the seasons were all colorful and competing for beauty.

But I can see that most of them are planted with one kind of flower.

"What kind of flowers do you grow?"

I was full of curiosity, looked at this, heard that, Hanyu followed behind my ass, as if he was afraid that I would go down again.

"I planted Gypsophila!"

Hanyu raised his tone proudly.

"A sky full of stars?"

When I was seven years old at the time, I didn’t know the name of this romantic literary artist. The first time I knew this name was Hanyu who told me.

"Well, this name sounds nice, and its English name is even better, it's called Baby's Breath, but unfortunately I can't spell English words yet..."

Hanyu squirmed his small body, and lowered his body to loosen the pitiful pot of soil that had just sprouted stars.

That poor little bud has been softened by me, and it looks very pitiful.

I felt guilty again, "I'm sorry..."

"It's okay, this kind of flower is not delicate and easy to feed, I will plant it again..."

Hanyu was cheerful, and even turned around to comfort me.

-

"Children, come down to eat..."

Auntie is calling us, Hanyu threw the small shovel, clapped his hands and took my hand to go downstairs, Auntie pretended to be sullen,

"Xu Hanyu! You've been messing around in the soil all morning again! Have you finished your homework? I really regret building this greenhouse! Hurry up and take Wen Tong to wash his hands and eat!"

Although Auntie spoke in an angry tone, I knew she wasn't angry at all, because I saw her smile hidden behind her turn.

— Do you know what the flower language of the baby's breath is? —

+ + +

Hanyu looked at me silently, looking into my eyes.

He got up suddenly, and the movement of getting up caused the whole bed, my whole body and heart to tremble together.

He went out for a while, and when he came back, he brought the file bag that was thrown on the ground in the morning.

He dropped the file bag on top of me.

-

The contents of the bag fell out, including photographs in bold colours.

"Do you know who is bidding with me today?"

Hanyu finally opened his mouth, but my heart turned cold, and I listened carefully to what he asked.

"I don't know." I said.

"Wei Youdong won today's bidding. According to the drawing order, they bid first... Wei Youdong's bid is exactly the same as mine, not even a zero..."

I listened, I listened, as if I had heard the whole thing, as if I had heard the judge's sentence.

"Our whole team didn't even have a chance to talk... After the end, Wei Youdong gave me this bag, and gave it to me completely... Liao Wentong, what are you hiding from me again..."

Hanyu finished all the words indifferently, and I couldn't even hear any emotions in the words, but the atmosphere was very clear, and even the breathing was very clear.

But I didn't know how to refute or explain, just because of the word "you" in his words.

It was exactly the same as the state of every sentence Hanyu said to me after coming down from the 22nd floor that day.

Only this time, I didn't 'quibble' as everyone said.

-

I heard the sound of the anti-theft door being opened, and the crisp sound of closing the door.

I picked up those photos, and the file bags that Wei Youdong and I pushed back and forth were clearly reflected on them, no matter how you look at them, there are problems.

But what you see is not true.

I panicked, I was misunderstood, I was misunderstood again.

But no matter what anyone thinks, I don't care, but Hanyu can't help but believe me.

What did I do wrong to make Hanyu not believe it anymore, didn't I just gain Hanyu's trust?Aren't you fine this morning?

What did you do wrong to make Hanyu unhappy?Let Hanyu down?

Liao Wentong!How can you be so useless!

I flipped through those photos back and forth, my face was wet, and I was already unconscious.

I suddenly remembered Hanyu's disgusted expression when he saw me carrying the medicine bottle behind my back just now.

right!right!It must be because I secretly took medicine that made Hanyu suspicious and upset Hanyu.

I got up in a panic and went to look for my medicine. I looked at the pills which were still full, and poured them all into the sink without thinking. Honestly, stomach churning, voluntary or not, I threw up that night by the sink,

-

After vomiting, I vomited until there was nothing to vomit, leaving only unnecessary retching and dry coughing.I stared blankly at myself in the mirror.

I didn't even shed a single tear. I didn't shut myself in the room and cry until I was in shock.

Now there are only empty eyes and eye sockets reddened by vomiting.

I seem to see my father in the mirror, my uncles and aunts, and even Youdong, but I can't see Hanyu, I can't find Hanyu no matter what.

I went to touch those portraits that didn't exist at all, I asked each of them, I asked them where Hanyu was, why didn't Hanyu come to me, and asked the same words that were repeated every day in prison for a year , to touch.

But only indifferent eyes replied to me, even Wei Youdong looked at me indifferently.

I was suddenly angry, I went up and grabbed Wei Youdong by the collar, and questioned him!

"Why do you look at me like that! Wei Youdong! If you hadn't designed a trap to kill uncle, how could things be like this today!"

But I didn't have anything in my hand, and I was the only one in the house. I woke up and wrapped myself in a blanket and hid in a corner.

It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter if no one tells me where Hanyu is, I'll wait, I'll wait, I'll wait for Hanyu.

But no matter how ignorantly I repented, how many times I counted and reflected on all my mistakes, Hanyu never came back.

+ + +

"Hey, look, look, isn't that our boss' son?"

"Yeah, what is he doing here? He has never been to the company..."

"You don't know this, don't you? I heard from Xiao Liu from the HR department that Director Liao has passed away!"

"Ah? True or false? Could it be because Director Xu was corrupt?"

"Then you can still run away, it must be! Think about it, you were kidnapped by your good brother for 6000 million, don't worry about it, and I heard that Director Liao still has a heart attack..."

"Tsk tsk..."

-

From the moment I entered the company, gossip and gossip were flying around my ears without any cover.

With a cold face, I walked forward dignifiedly, but my steps were empty.

Pushing open the door of Dad's office, my heart was even more empty.

Uncle Chen was already waiting for me there, I leaned over and called Uncle.

"Uncle Chen, the things I asked you to bring..."

Before I finished speaking, Uncle Chen waved his palm to me, indicating that he knew.

Then he tremblingly took out two documents from his briefcase.

I suddenly felt sad, the young Uncle Chen who would lead me and Hanyu to buy cotton candy is no longer there.

He noticed my strangeness and looked at me blankly.

I calmed down and got down to business.

I picked up the two documents, which were exactly the same, except that one was signed with Uncle Xu's name and the other was not.

This is a short statement of capital expenditures, the amount far exceeds the prescribed limit, but this is second, and the main thing is that this expenditure statement is illegal in its entirety.

Without hesitation, I put the document signed with Uncle Xu's name in the trash can and burned it.

Uncle Chen wanted to stop me, but withdrew his hand again.

Immediately afterwards, I signed my own name on the blank document.

The moment I wrote it, I was really, really relieved.

I handed this document and the signed share transfer letter to Uncle Chen.

"Uncle Chen, you can go directly to the conference room later, I won't go, the company will be handed over to you and Youdong, besides, Uncle Chen, Dad and Uncle Xu have all told me, Hanyu..."

"Don't worry, Hanyu, I will help whenever I can, but Xiaotong, the rest of your life will be ruined..."

"... Uncle Chen, you can go."

I sent Uncle Chen away, and then started to pack Dad's things. Dad has very few things in the office.I wiped all the photos on the table and put them in a box. Since my assistant removed the files from Dad's office, the room has been empty.

When I opened the drawers, they were all gifts I gave my father since I was a child.Watches, pens, and my graduation certificate, a copy of the university admission letter, and even my first painting when I first learned to paint.

I smiled through tears and put them all in the box. After taking them out of the drawer one by one, the covered things were revealed. I took them out in surprise. Is this a notebook?

I wiped my tears, took out the book and opened it. The title page was written in beautiful handwriting, and there was a photo pasted on it for many years. It was... a photo taken by my mother holding me...

The one in the photo is about one year old. I have too little memory of my mother. Since my mother gave birth to me, her health has not been very good, and she finally lasted until I was two years old before passing away.

I continued to turn back, and the horizontal grid was full of my mother’s diary, from falling in love with my father, to getting married, pregnant, having me... and writing stopped abruptly when my father’s 31st birthday.

I flipped through it sadly, and there was no blank space on each of the following pages. Dad posted photos of me on my birthday every year, and a paragraph of words I wrote to my mother every year...

Seeing this, I already burst into tears. It turns out that my father's world is so simple, only me and my mother. It turns out that my father's world is so fragile because my mother left...

I bent my body in pain and fell to the ground, trying to cry out all the grievances that my chest was about to explode, but I was so ashamed that I couldn't cry out...

I'm sorry... Dad, I'm sorry... I made you lose the person you love the most, I didn't protect your hard work, I even stepped in... Your world collapsed...

But dad...

I have no choice, he is the only one in my whole world...

Even if I'm going to lose him, I can't...let the world hurt a little...

-

"Dad, I have made all the arrangements. The company has been handed over to Youdong. I have also returned all the money you borrowed for uncle..." I put all the boxes in my hand in front of Dad's tombstone, "Dad, uncle I've already been buried with my aunt...I'm sorry...I haven't contacted the cemetery on my mother's side, you can't be buried together..."

"Dad, I may not be able to see you for a few years. I will take the blame for my uncle... Don't blame Youdong, it's all because of me..." At this point, I found that I couldn't cry anymore , Tears flowed to my heart, entrenched into a sea.

"Youdong said, he paid back part of the money, and I will reduce my sentence... Dad, I'm leaving."

I stood up suddenly, and behind me was a policeman wearing a uniform. I stretched out my hands and let them handcuff me in cooperation, and got into the police car in cooperation, like a doll.

—

— Do you know what the flower language of the baby's breath is? —

The author has something to say:

on vacation......