loop back

In the past few years, I have developed a habit of waking up very early.

The good thing is that when you open your eyes, you can see the sunshine and the obedient Liao Wentong.What was disharmonious was Wen Tong's frowning. I kissed him on the forehead to smooth his frowning.

-

I prepared breakfast and went to wake Liao Wentong up.

He has woken up, sitting on the bed, his eyes are too dazed to open, very cute.

I stepped forward and kissed him on the forehead, but he saw the wound on his neck.

It was scratched by him when he was torn with him last night.

"What's wrong with you here?" he asked.

I could see the anxiety and confusion in his eyes.

"do not you remember?"

I immediately regretted it when I asked, how could I let him know about these terrible things...

I looked at him for a while, "It's okay, let's go to eat, I accidentally bumped into him this morning..."

He seemed to have reacted, got out of bed and grabbed me, and asked me if he had a fuss again last night.

Well, you made a fuss again last night, which made me restless, disturbed and uneasy, and also very guilty.I comforted myself with some self-deception, my lover, it’s okay to have a little temper, you’re just having a little temper, it’s a petty temper that I’ll spoil sooner or later.

I thought about it and picked him up to eat. The floor without floor heating is very cold in summer.

-

"Since when did this happen?"

I peeled the egg for him and asked him.

He said that it was because of adapting to the environment, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

My lover, I don't know that I have a little temper that makes me feel distressed and frightened...

-

After dinner, I couldn't hold back him, so I asked him to take a taxi to the store alone.The taxi has gone, but I did not go to the company.

"Yang Ling, are you in the treatment center? I'm going to find you now."

I hung up the phone, filled with anxiety.

-

"What's wrong with you, you feel bad again?"

You can see his worry from Yang Ling's expression, he even went downstairs to pick me up from the treatment center of the psychological department, this is my former psychiatrist, many things happened to me during the years when Liao Wentong was away.

"I'm fine, let's go up and talk."

I noticed that my steps had become weak, like hypoglycemia, but I wanted to ask clearly.

-

"So he has nightmares, and when he wakes up, he just finds a place to shrink himself, and keeps saying things you don't understand, right?"

"Hmm." I told Yang Ling about Liao Wentong's symptoms in detail. He is a very authoritative psychological mentor. Apart from the psychological aspect, I couldn't think of how to explain Wen Tong's problem...

I'm afraid, will the events of that year cast a shadow on Wen Tong...

"What else?" Yang Ling asked, and I continued to answer.

"It seems that he is afraid that others will touch him..." I thought for a while, "...he kept saying sorry to me, but I think he wouldn't know who I am in that situation."

"He said sorry to you?" Yang Ling raised his eyebrows, he already knew about Wen Tong and me.

"Ah."

"Can you bring someone here to show me?"

"No!" I immediately rejected Yang Ling, "I can't let him know."

I can't, add more obstacles to our relationship...

"Listen to you, this one should be depressed, or endogenous..."

"What do you mean?" I couldn't understand the technical terms, but the key word depression completely raised my heart to my throat.

"Simply put, it's a mental disorder."

"Endogenous depression is very troublesome. The most prominent feature of this disease is that the patient feels useless... With all due respect, your attitude after the incident may be his biggest cause. Once he understands that he did something wrong, In the future, he will feel that everything he does is wrong, and he will place inexplicable charges on himself to achieve the purpose of self-punishment. With all due respect, your kid's psychological quality is too poor. After all, he did make mistakes back then... ..." Yang Ling sat down and looked directly at me.

I was dumbfounded by Yang Ling's words, "Self-punishment..." Self-punishment?my attitude?

I'm a little confused, I don't know what mood I should be in right now, my eyebrows are already furrowed into a ball.

"Has he been lethargic or not talkative lately?"

I shook my head, "I don't know."

Suddenly very sad, he has become like this, but I know nothing about what I should know the most.

"Then you have to be careful. Endogenous patients will detail what mistakes they have made every day, blame themselves, and feel guilty. These emotions will make them pessimistic and world-weary." He paused, "Seriously... life-threatening .”

I raised my head and looked at him with wide eyes. I licked the corners of my mouth and asked Yang Ling: "What is the treatment?"

Yang Ling nodded, "In the early stage of the disease, you still need to rely more on psychological guidance. He trusts you. You have to make good use of this trust, accompany him more, take him to relax and let him discover the beauty of this world. Most importantly, You have to let him discover the value of his existence, you have to let him know that you can't do without him... But, let me say one more word, can you really let go of those things?"

I was taken aback and asked him, "What do you mean?"

Yang Ling shrugged: "I don't mean anything else, it's just a little strange. Killing people requires a lot of psychological quality. I have never heard of a murderer who made himself into depression instead of a mental disorder caused by a disturbed conscience. Split."

Yang Ling's words made me speechless, and I always believed in my heart that the facts over the years have become more and more blurred in the past few days, and something even wants to tear the package from it and rush towards it.

-

When I came out of the treatment center, my steps were still wandering. I got into the car, but it didn’t start. I checked the literature first, and the description was worse than Yang Ling.

I thought about what Yang Ling said, and took out my mobile phone to call Cheng Jun.

"Hello, what's the matter?" The man probably hasn't gotten up yet, his voice is hoarse.

"The resort you mentioned a few days ago, pack it up and go."

"Damn it! Young Master Xu, a few days ago I tried to say that you wouldn't go, so what are you doing now?"

"Don't talk nonsense, let you contact me!"

Cheng Jun's indifferent tone made me raise the volume unconsciously, and I shrank my voice over there, and continued to say, "I won't go, my song is stuck, how can I have the mind to go on vacation?"

"Take something and go over there to do it!"

"You! Didn't your company have a bidding case recently? Are you so free?"

"I'll take the case over there, and I'll take Wen Tong to relax."

Then Cheng Jun hung up the phone suddenly, and called back a few minutes later.

"You don't need to talk about it. I've already contacted you. You said that Liao Wentong will also go, and you will leave tomorrow. Hey, do you know that your wife is a great composer? It's much easier to talk about my songs with him there."

"Ah."

I simply complied with him, I am in such a heavy mood that I cannot talk to Cheng Jun.

-

In the afternoon, I didn’t go to the company either. I went to buy things for vacation. I really thought he was thinking too much. It was still daylight, so I went to pick him up. I had dinner at his shop. The boy was there too, and I told him about the vacation, but he seemed to be hesitant because of the store, so I simply acted foolishly and asked the boy to come along.

-

I kissed him in the shop when I got home, squeezing all the restlessness and heartache of my day into one kiss.

I buried my panic and uneasiness in my arms, I didn't forget what Yang Ling said, he said, he said that my attitude back then was the cause of the disease.

There is a hurdle in my heart about the truth of the matter, and I can't get over it.In other words, I am a little afraid to admit that I don't want to cross over.

What was my attitude back then, I beat him, I scolded him, I didn't trust him.

But after all these years, I am still the person he trusts...

I muttered silently in my heart, my lover must get better...

I woke up early, unexpectedly Liao Wentong got up earlier than me, busy in the kitchen, made a lot of things.

"Try it, is it delicious?"

He handed over a cookie and looked at me with bright eyes. I smiled and stuffed the cookie into his mouth, then went up to eat the portion in his mouth.

The mellow aroma of cookies spread between my lips and teeth, and I lingered for a while longer, until I kissed Liao Wentong's cheeks red.

"Good morning! The cookies are delicious."

I rubbed his hair, and he packed his food with a blushing face.

"I'll buy the food when I get there. Do you want to bring it all?"

I tugged at the bag on the dining table, this is, I brought all the dinner with me, I couldn't laugh or cry.

"We can eat on the road, isn't it said that it will take four or five hours."

I nodded, "Well, then you take it, I'll wash it."

-

After I washed and changed my clothes, I took everything I needed, and also took the small box in the drawer. When I went out, I saw Wen Tong drinking water at the table, "Tong Tong, let's get dressed and go."

But he turned his back in surprise, as if hiding something behind his back.

I froze for a moment, "What are you doing?"

His face was full of panic, and curiosity drove me closer to him step by step.

When I was about to touch his hand behind his back, he suddenly kissed me.

A shallow, green kiss, his lips were a little cold, I deepened this kiss, I didn't use much force, and gently licked his lower lip, after the kiss, I slowly touched behind him.

"Watch?" It was the same watch as mine, and I looked at him in surprise.

"I just wear a watch, I was frightened by you..."

He lowered his head, his cheeks were rosy, I smiled, urged him to change clothes, took the car keys and went downstairs.

-

"Shall we pick up Chengjun first, or your clerk first?"

I let Wen Tong sit in the back of the driver's seat, and I let Cheng Jun sit in the co-pilot later. The journey will take four to five hours, so that we can take turns driving.

But from the rearview mirror, Liao Wentong looked at me blankly, and he pursed his lips.

"Well, I actually don't have Yi Ning's phone number..."

I choked up, and suddenly forgot that in Liao Wentong's contact list, before I entered my number, Liao Wentong's contact was only Wei Youdong, of course, now I'm the only one left, and I don't know how I learned such a bad habit.

I was helpless, and I didn't know how he usually contacted that boy.

"Do you know the address of his home?"

"I know!"

"Tell me."

Once I had the address, it was easy to handle. I contacted my friends at the police station and found out the contact information quickly.

I picked up Cheng Jun first, but when I saw the clerk getting into the car wrapped in a big bag, I knew how stupid I was to ask Wen Tong to bring food in the morning.

They both looked at each other and smiled, come on, we have dinner tomorrow.

Cheng Jun was extremely excited, "Damn, Xu Hanyu, you are not bad, you know how to make one for me, I thought I was going to be a light bulb for you..."

This social cancer that eats all men and women is extremely excited is targeting its prey again.

From the rearview mirror, look at the two little white sheep that divide things, and the other little white sheep is mine.

-

At the high-speed rest stop, I switched shifts with Cheng Jun, and finally made him stop moving his mouth all the way. The clerk was obedient and was not frightened by Cheng Jun.

-

It’s already one o’clock in the vacation place. It’s not bad here. It faces the sea and there are mountains behind. It’s an exaggeration to say that it’s a mountain. It’s just a slope with a higher altitude, but the forest at the foot of the mountain is very suitable for me. , I touched the things in my pocket.

Liao Wentong had already fallen asleep, I remembered Yang Ling's words, and worriedly carried him out of the car.

"Sleeping?" Cheng Jun mouthed to me.

I nodded and said softly to Cheng Jun, "Go and open the room."

Cheng Jun handed over the car keys to the security guard, and our group walked into the hotel.

"I want two sets," Cheng Jun directly handed over everyone's IDs and IDs, and the boy who had been quiet all this time pressed the IDs on the front desk as if electrocuted.

"Three sets."

Jin Chengjun smiled maliciously and stared at the boy.

"There are two bedrooms in one set, and...they are all men, why are you nervous?"

Cheng Jun took out his hand that was pressed on the table, and asked for two suites.

-

I put Wen Tong on the bed, he was sleeping very deeply, he didn't even feel like I was changing his clothes, I called Yang Ling, Yang Ling said that he couldn't wake him up, otherwise he might become unconscious Situation, I lay down next to him, I was exhausted but I didn't feel sleepy.

-

He woke up during dinner, and he woke me up, and he looked at me with round eyes.

"Cheng Jun has already yelled outside, should we open the door?" His voice was sticky,

I pulled off the quilt and covered the two of us, "Don't open!"

Still the same, I do nothing but kiss, we both kiss disheveled before opening the door.

"Oh----"

Cheng Jun smirked and made a long sound, I kicked him, straightened Liao Wentong's clothes, and led him out, "Hurry up and eat."

-

"Wow, the night view is so beautiful..."

We had dinner at the beach. Cheng Jun's friend came over to greet him for a while and then left. Wen Tong kept his eyes open and ran to the beach to play in the water with his calves fluttering. The clerk also ran towards Wen Tong with the food. Cheng Jun greeted him and told him something, he opened his mouth to express his surprise.

"you sure?"

He asked me this, and I said dully, he smiled, patted me on the shoulder, and went to do what I asked.

-

After eating, Cheng Jun was sleepy and took away Yi Ning who wanted to walk with us. I breathed a sigh of relief, this was exactly what I wanted.

There are some children's amusement equipment on the beach, which may have just been opened, and the peak tourist season has passed. There is only Liao Wentong leading a child on the swing, and I push him in front to make him swing higher.

He laughed and I laughed too.

I looked at my watch, it was almost time, I waited for him to swing towards me, I hugged him and covered his lips, it was just a kiss.

Simple, give yourself a kiss from the person you like.

Gravity and gravity were transformed into each other, and I was pulled backward by the inertia, and I was getting closer and closer to him.

He froze and was hugged by me.

We continued to walk on the beach, in front of us was the woods, the road leading to the woods was already lined with rows of small night lights, I raised the corners of my mouth slightly, and looked at Liao Wentong next to me.

He looked around curiously and tightened my hand.

-

The farther you go, the fewer lights are replaced by patches of fireflies. Liao Wentong pulled me forward and trotted forward. When I walked to the center of these fireflies, I seemed to see Liao Wentong a few years ago when he got the university admission letter and The same smile as in the graduation photo.

At that moment, I really felt that everything was worth it.

I took the box out of my pocket and opened it. It was a silver ring that I had bought for a long time.

I turned Liao Wentong around, and when he stood still in front of me, I lifted the box, under the witness of the stars in the sky.

Get down on one knee.