If you eat lalang, will you run out of food?

Chen Rusheng really didn't like to participate in this kind of grand ceremony, for no other reason than because there were too many cameras.No matter on stage or off stage, even going to the bathroom was clearly photographed.For several hours in a row, the moment I got off my car, there was no peace.Some people sat under the stage well, but were criticized because they lowered their heads and played with their mobile phones for a while.Some also said something to each other, and this CP became hot.In a word, there are pros and cons to each, as long as you can wear the mask and get through the hours flawlessly.

Since the disbandment of Free, Chen Rusheng has not acted again, until this year's "Goodbye Xiaocao".So he has never participated in the national drama festivals in the past few years.Seeing that many unfamiliar faces occupied half of the venue, I felt a little emotional for a while.

Naturally, the seating arrangement for the grand ceremony was also calculated by the contractor.Basically, it's how there is a hot spot and how it embarrasses the artist.So when Chen Rusheng found his seat and found that Xiao Yulun was on the left and Han Jiawen was on the right.But it's also his fault. If he hadn't been unable to speak up, Wen Shangke would have greeted him in advance to avoid this situation from happening.However, at this moment, the gold medal manager just gloated at him, made an internationally accepted threatening gesture on his neck, and turned to look for Liang Zheng who was not far away.

Bah, you two old rascals.

Chen Rusheng glared fiercely at Wen Shangke's back, knowing that several cameras were shooting this way, he raised a bright smile and patted Xiao Yulun's shoulder boldly: "Yu Lun, long time no see."

Xiao Yulun, who was seated near the aisle, gave him a shallow smile: "Yeah, a lot of people have asked me about you recently." He said this with a bit of gritted teeth.

"That's a coincidence." Chen Rusheng's reply was also a bit strange: "I have often encountered this kind of situation before."

Han Jiawen, who was sitting on the side, felt a little stressed when he saw their smacking and smacking.Fortunately, the camera can only capture the picture but not the sound. Just looking at the picture, I feel that the two have a very good friendship, and the sound turned into a creepy tit-for-tat.While people are amazed at their strong business ability, they can't help but sigh. It seems that the Free members are at odds.

"Yo, Jiawen'er! How are you doing lately?" Turning to Han Jiawen's tone and eyes, there was some sincerity and eagerness, and the inexplicable hostility just now dissipated instantly.The impact of such a front-to-back comparison was a bit big. Before Han Jiawen had time to be flattered, he saw Chen Rusheng, who was going in, stumbled for some reason, and fell directly to the bottom.

Xiao Yulun, N, T, M! !

Chen Rusheng scolded in his heart while preparing to meet the ground, but in the next second he was caught by a pair of arms.Han Jiawen's hand stretched out from under his armpit, and quickly stabilized Chen Rusheng's upper body, and with just a strong lift, he took advantage of the momentum to lift him into his arms.When Chen Rusheng came to his senses, he was already hugged tightly, and the touch on his face and chest was so familiar that it made people feel hot.

Han Jiawen originally just made a subconscious action, but after it was over, he froze there.It wasn't until she was pushed by the person in her arms that she suddenly let go, and hurriedly said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Pfft, what are you apologizing for?" Chen Rusheng couldn't laugh or cry, he put one hand on Han Jiawen's shoulder and sat down next to him: "I should thank you."

Hearing this, Han Jiawen looked at him quietly for a while.It wasn't until the smile on Chen Rusheng's face froze that he nodded and looked away.

What does this response mean? !

Chen Rusheng was a little confused.But seeing that the other party didn't want to talk anymore, he no longer wanted to be boring, and turned his head abruptly to look at the empty stage.

This is not right.Chen Rusheng was inexplicably agitated, he kept glancing at Han Jiawen next to him from the corner of his eye, and when he saw that the other party really planned to sit in this position until the end, he immediately became a little annoyed.Isn't this act of killing a donkey too shameful? !Sigh, no, isn't this just scolding himself?And even if Han Jiawen really just took advantage of his fame and turned his back on him afterward, it wouldn't be right. How dare you treat Lao Tzu like this now? !Could it be that you are minding the one who just turned a blind eye outside the door?I didn't mean it, will you die if you have a bigger belly? !

When Chen Rusheng was tangled in the battle between heaven and man, a text message interrupted his self-torment in time.

[Since you are here, please memorize your acceptance speech for a while. PS: Don't think I'm fooling you. --demon king】

For an award ceremony like this, those who are well-versed will naturally get the list of winners in advance.Chen Rusheng has no doubt that Wen Shangke's statement that he won the award is 100% true.He just clicked on the accompanying attached file, and a large paragraph of text jumped into his eyes, which made him a little crazy for a while: Who the hell can memorize it in such a short time! !

Generally speaking, Wen Shangke would not engage in matters that might affect his public image, so to put it bluntly, it was his own fault.Thinking of this, Chen Rusheng didn't hide it anymore, and glared at Han Jiawen next to him angrily: If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have come, and if I didn't come, I wouldn't have suffered this kind of torture here.You wait for me! !

Han Jiawen was inexplicably killed by the sharp gaze, but when he turned his head, he saw Chen Rusheng looking at the side face of the phone screen indignantly, muttering as if he was carrying something.

No matter which circle they are in, some people are destined to become the favored ones of heaven.No matter how hard others try, they will only have the fate of being crushed when they meet him.Mainland Popular Actor, Most Popular Actor, Best Actor of the Year, Best Actor with On-Screen Performance.To say that Qin Yingdi, who still has a few strong competitors every year in the film industry, came to the TV drama circle and killed the Quartet.After a few ups and downs, until the end of accepting the award, he himself was dumbfounded and said that his acceptance speech was completely speechless.I believe that many actors in the audience burst into tears and hope that Qin Qing will return to the embrace of the movie soon.

"He is just like a king." Chen Rusheng beside him suddenly sighed.When Han Jiawen turned his head, he saw the other party looking at the man on the stage with bright eyes.

Qin Jin has always been known in the circle for doing things in his own way, with a very different personality, independent, and never likes to follow others.It stands to reason that an artist with such a personality must have a bumpy career, but whoever makes his parents handsome and has good acting skills, his popularity is so high that he can't suppress it.Looking outside the inner circle of the entire circle, no one will take the blame except his manager.Such a person would naturally suffer from infamy and jealousy, but he never cared about it.He doesn't need outsiders' recognition, not even fans, he does something purely because he wants to do it.Such a proud, dazzling, powerful man who is not afraid of being alone, what does he look like like a king?

In fact, Chen Rusheng has always wanted to be such a person - if he really never cared about foreign words, he wouldn't have so many frustrations and regrets, and the look in his eyes when he looked at Qin Ying naturally showed some eagerness of admiration.But in Han Jiawen's eyes, he felt a little uncomfortable.

Human psychology is contradictory. As a younger generation in interpretation, Han Jiawen also admired Qin Jin.But seeing the other party achieve success easily, the despicable feelings in his heart will grow darkly.This is human nature, not to mention his thoughts are much more kind than others.But at this moment, when he saw Chen Rusheng looking at Qin Jin, the discomfort in his heart began to multiply.He almost didn't recognize himself in those dark emotions that contained sourness.He suddenly felt Qin Jin's mood when he first met him. It was really uncomfortable to be robbed of attention, not to mention that the attention came from that special person.He was finally able to fully understand his feelings, and he was very, very sure: Chen Rusheng was really very, very special to him.

"The most anticipated actor of the TV drama media of the year - Han Jiawen!!"

Han Jiawen walked up to the stage, looked at Chen Rusheng who was looking at him from the audience, and read out the lines he had prepared.He had waited too long for this moment, and every word and every sentence must not be wrong.From this moment, he will completely get rid of all the past, step by step towards the highest peak, and let this person look at him forever.

So when the host asked him what his next goal was, he suddenly smiled and said, "I want someone to become my die-hard fan."

This sentence seemed to be a joke, but the intense look in his eyes when he answered made Chen Rusheng startled.Even though there was a sea of ​​people across, that gaze looked at him with certainty, as if the words were meant for him.He suddenly felt that something in Han Jiawen had changed, from this moment.And this kind of cognition made him suddenly flustered.

And this kind of panic continued until he was named on stage to receive the "Best Supporting Actor of the Year" award and did not disappear.Damn, he forgot all the lines he memorized just now!

Chen Rusheng looked at Wen Shangke who said in the audience, "If you lift your leg, I know whether you want to fart or pee", the other party's smile seemed to want to kill him immediately.

Han Jiawen, it's all your fault! !

Chen Rusheng cursed viciously in his heart, closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and when he opened his eyes again, he became that invulnerable Chen Guang again.

"Actually, I was surprised to get this award. I was still a little weak when I came on stage. Of course, I have many people to thank, but the one I should be most grateful to is the one who made my first love come to an end without a problem. People. The role of Yuki is very different from the roles I used to play before. Naturally, many people have asked me how to complete such a big change. Real feelings can play a real role. Many seniors I’ve said it all. And my reason is the same, clichéd, but true.”

"As I said, I want to thank the person who made my first love come to an end without a problem. I have had a crush on someone for many years, and I like him so much that I dare not let the other person notice the slightest trick. Crush It is a tormented, long, and even unrequited thing. And this thing is enough to drive a person to despair. But for me, liking someone is a very happy thing. Even if it hurts , but not enough to cause death."

"So in my opinion, Yuuki didn't die from love, he was just loyal to his choice. And I am not Yuuki. Even if I was once trapped in a cage and fell into the abyss, I will never go to a dead end. Love is not It's worth everything, so I have to apologize in addition to thanking. I apologize for the people I once hurt because of impulse. I will get a little emotional when I mention that person, so, at that time, whatever I say, don't Believe me?"

When it comes to the last certain things, the boundaries have long been blurred, only the last sentence sounds like a joke between acquaintances but is cautious and full of sincerity.Amid the applause of everyone, Han Jiawen looked at Chen Rusheng quietly, no matter whether the other party came across it on a whim or for a specific reason - he was very sure that these words were not for himself, or felt that he had been affected to some extent. comfort.

He knew very well that what Chen Rusheng said was true. He had really liked someone for many years, and even now he liked him to the point where he could strongly affect his emotions.He once protected this person, tried everything for this person, and even suffered from depression in the end.Han Jiawen didn't know much, but that was enough.And what Chen Rusheng said was obviously telling him: I will not hurt myself for that person again, even if I can't do it immediately, but I am trying to change.

This is the best promise.

In the second half, Han Jiawen took the initiative to go to the bathroom with Chen Rusheng.Chen Rusheng was stunned by the sudden change in his attitude, but he had always been straightforward in front of Han Jiawen: "What's wrong with you? Why do I feel like you suddenly figured out something."

"I just think I should work harder." Han Jiawen looked at him with a smile.

And Chen Rusheng obviously misunderstood the meaning, folded his arms and snorted coldly: "Why, I finally understand that I should pay close attention to the wind of my uncle?"

Han Jiawen suddenly felt a little helpless, he couldn't say that he should try harder to chase him, could he?So he said in a concealed manner: "What's the matter, aren't we friends?"

"Friend!?" Chen Rusheng immediately turned up the volume: "Is there anyone who treats a friend like this?! It's hot and cold, and I feel up and down because of you. Being with you is like having a boyfriend!"

After shouting in one breath, Chen Rusheng realized what he had said unintentionally, and he felt a little uncomfortable at the moment.Who would have thought that Han Jiawen would ask very frankly: "So, you will be unhappy because I ignore you? You... care about me?"

"Aren't you talking nonsense?! Which one's best friend will be happy if he suddenly looks like he wants to break up with you!" Chen Rusheng abruptly brought the topic back to friends, but he didn't know that with his attitude towards friends, Han Jiawen This is just so special.Isar didn't cry and sue him when he found out.

"Sorry." Han Jiawen has always been willing to show weakness to Chen Rusheng, and he is also used to keeping his mouth shut in certain sensitive places, but at this time he felt that there was nothing wrong with being straightforward: "I didn't mean to break the appointment last time, I just heard According to what you said, you are just sympathizing with me."

As soon as these words came out, there was silence between the two.

Han Jiwen's words were obviously mild and harmless, but Chen Rusheng felt the oppressiveness of questioning inexplicably.The man in front of him is not a victim's accusation gesture, on the contrary, it is as if he is just explaining this behavior for this paragraph.Not for himself, but for Chen Rusheng.But where does this sense of oppression come from?What exactly are you really asking?

Chen Rusheng's chest heaved a few times, and he took a deep breath, but he didn't know what to say when he spoke again: "I...yes..."

He wanted to apologize, but was interrupted by Han Jiawen: "You have already apologized just now, so you don't need to say it again." His smile was comforting: "As you said, people always like you I am more impulsive in front of people, I understand now." Yes, I like it.It is because he likes it that he reacts so strongly to it, and it is only because this line of sympathy comes from Chen Rusheng.Therefore, he did not carefully consider how what the other party did for him could be done just by sympathy.

A sense of guilt rushed over, and Chen Rusheng suddenly felt that he was a jerk. "Trash crush, ruin my friendship." He cursed viciously, pulled Han Jiawen and walked forward: "Come with me."

In the end, the two found an empty lounge.Chen Rusheng locked the door behind him, took a few deep breaths, turned around as if he had made some important decision, his eyes were full of determination.He took the phone from his pocket, lowered his head and pressed it a few times, and stretched the screen in front of Han Jiawen.

"You must really want to know why I got sick that time? I'll tell you now."

There is a photo on the phone, the light is dim and the pixels are not good, but it can be clearly seen that there are two people on it.Two teenagers, two delicate-looking teenagers with a touch of childishness.One was sleeping peacefully on the sofa with her eyes closed, and she had some kind of dream. The corners of her mouth were slightly raised, and she looked very cute.And the other half knelt by the sofa, bent down and gently kissed the corner of the young man's mouth, just by looking at him, he could feel his piety, as carefully as if the treasure of the whole world was in front of him.Anyone who looks at it will feel that this picture is so beautiful that it is unreal.

If Han Jiawen hadn't taken the time to supplement Free's film and television materials, he might not have recognized these two people.But at this moment, he clearly understands that the sleeping person in this photo is Chen Rusheng when he was young, and the other is Free's captain Shao Feng, whose real name is Shao Jingjie.

"I just turned 17 when I met Shao Jingjie." Chen Rusheng took back his phone and said suddenly: "The first time I saw him was on a world music tour in Australia. It can be regarded as love at first sight. He is the first person I have ever seen He is the most elegant, confident, dazzling, and perfect person. Just one piece of "Blue Danube" made me follow him all over the world and listen to all the rest of the concerts, and even bought his used one at a high price. A piano. Yes, the one in my room."

Speaking of this, Chen Rusheng took a deep breath, and leaned against the door behind him as if he lost his strength.Han Jiawen saw undisguised exhaustion in his eyes.

"His dream is to stand on the stage and attract everyone's attention, so I followed him to Zhenguo and became an artist. I have been looking up and following, and so many years have passed in a flash. Likes can really change a person a lot. To be able to support Because of him, in order to be able to stand by his side, I restrained my past bad temper, suppressed my self-willedness and doing my own way, changed the evil behavior of spending time and drinking, and drew a line with everything in the past."

"Careful liking, even the eyes are afraid of revealing something. It's so strange, I have clearly seen the sensuality and horses, and I have never dared to confess in front of him. I am afraid of sticking to the line of defense of my best friend. An accidental annihilation of the entire army. But ah, my acting skills have always been so bad, he must know that I like him. Otherwise, even the news of his marriage was told to me by someone else."

"It's not a big deal, really. For the past five years, I've been trying my best to let myself forget about him. Even if it's not very thorough, I won't feel sad and want to cry. But I never thought that he actually likes me." Chen Rusheng lowered his head Looking at the photo in my hand, I smiled mockingly: "Even I was surprised that I didn't go to him after seeing this photo. I don't understand, since he likes me too, why did he deliberately distance himself? Why didn't you say anything. But when I calmed down, I found out sadly, even if he likes me, so what if he still likes me now? The choice he finally made could not be more clear."

Looking at Chen Rusheng's gloomy and disappointed look, Han Jiawen was still thinking about whether he should say a few words of comfort, when he was glared at by the person who suddenly raised his head.The other party's tone was very aggressive, and he didn't see that he had just exposed his scars just now, but he was arguing with someone: "Let me tell you, my depression is not because of this hypocrisy! Damnit, I am not Those psychopaths in TV dramas who cry and die because of a failed crush on a relationship problem."

"Well, strictly speaking, depression is also a type of neurosis."

"Are you going to die?!" Chen Rusheng glared at him viciously, then sighed and continued: "There were too many things crowded together during that time. The members of the group were at odds, and the signed music producers broke the contract one after another. The competitiveness of the orchestra Increase, the inexplicable scandals and scandals. These are nothing in normal times, but Wen Shangke has no time to take care of this side because of the termination of the artist's contract. Once there is no suppression and leadership, the backlog of conflicts that have always been in the past will instantly disappear. Release it. Then..." At this point, Chen Rusheng paused, his eyes flickered, and then he continued: "In a quarrel, some people inadvertently slipped their mouths, and I knew the identity of my illegitimate child."

Chen Rusheng was quite calm when he said this, but Han Jiawen couldn't imagine what the other party had endured to allow him to say this calmly now.

"I don't know who that person is, but I know he has been paying attention to me since I returned to China. The other party should be an exceptionally rich and powerful person, rich enough to form an idol group for an illegitimate child, powerful enough to invite Wen Shangke has to be escorted. I don’t want me to show my face and I don’t want to disappoint me, so I use a combination as a cover, and minimize the public appearance every time. It’s ridiculous to say it, I know Wen Shangke never bothers to lie , but still expecting him to say a negative answer.”

"And when I realized it, I couldn't feel everything around me anymore." Chen Rusheng cast his eyes into the distance, and his eyes became swaying: "Wen Shangke took me to a nursing home abroad. During those few months It's just unbearable to look back on, and there is a voice in my ear saying 'Go to hell, everything will be free after death'. I think I must have done something very terrible. When I woke up, the room was full There was blood, and Wen Shangke suppressed my limbs with a ferocious face and said in a low voice: "If you really want to die, I will let you die.""

Han Jiawen was frightened and sweating coldly when he heard it, but Chen Rusheng laughed: "Being robbed of breath little by little, watching my life slowly go by, this feeling is really terrible. So at that moment I Suddenly I don’t want to die anymore. Why should I die? I look good and come from a good background. With a little effort, I can achieve achievements that others may not be able to achieve in their entire lives. Why should I give up all that I deserve? But—" Chen Rusheng's voice finally brought some grievances to tears: "This also means that everything around me may be fake. All the hard work Free has done is just a well-designed game. The people around me are only friendly to me because of my identity. Even Shao Jingjie’s connivance and ambiguity towards me are just playful. The glory and touch of those five years were nothing more than a deliberate effort It’s an illusion, even now Wen Shangke’s advice and care for me is just for money. Otherwise, he would have given up on me a long time ago. He usually looks disgusted and severe, and he must hate me so much that he wants to kill me immediately. get rid of."

Han Jiawen doesn't know how to comfort people, he can't wake people up as simply as Wen Shangke, and he can't comfort people with gentle words like Song Xingran. Seeing Chen Rusheng's uncomfortable appearance, he can only be in a daze full of anxiety in place.Wanting to go forward to comfort him but not daring to make a mistake, he could only say clumsily: "Maybe this is the way he likes people?"

Maybe the two of them do have a weird connection, something that always goes wrong.When Chen Rusheng heard what he said, he thought of something and suddenly laughed: "The way you like people? If you say that, he is indeed a tsundere." In fact, with his EQ, he can see many things very clearly, and he also knows that he just now A lot of those words are exaggerated.Maybe he just wanted to let off steam and get back some willfulness that he couldn't get from others.Before he realized it, whether it was bought by those hugs, his body subconsciously wanted to ask this person for comfort.No matter how clumsy this consolation is, as long as those worries are true, it will be enough for him to be happy for a while.But Chen Rusheng still subconsciously resisted a certain restricted area that was getting closer.He glanced at Han Jiawen, recalling the decision he made in his heart before, and said without knowing who to listen to: "Then I don't like you according to my way."

But in terms of relationships, Chen Rusheng, who has always been smooth sailing, is always not favored by God.When you want to get closer, you are always abandoned arbitrarily, and when you want to stop friendship, there are always people who have the courage to speak out.

"It's okay, I just like you."

What he said is true, it is better to say that there is not a single word that Han Jiawen said to Chen Rusheng that is not true.So the content of this sentence is also very heavy.

But after all, there is still room for the word "like".As long as the "like" in Chen Rusheng's sentence has a hint of ridicule, the following sentence will not count.But God knows if "dislike" is fake, then "like" is true?Chen Rusheng's scalp was a little numb by this, and he felt that he had fallen into a trap, completely unaware that he was just making excuses for himself to escape.He knew in his heart that just like Han Jiawen's uprightness and stupidity, this man never joked.

Perhaps this is the aftereffect of having been in the entertainment industry too much, every sentence must be carefully considered and deliberated, for fear of sarcasm and sarcasm implying traps.When the sincere and straightforward words fall before your eyes, it is more difficult for people to deal with than the words in the words.

And Chen Rusheng, an old Jianghu who has never changed his face, is very shameful this time, and escaped.

He opened the door and ran out. Han Jiawen, who was chasing after him, seemed to bump into someone and completely ignored him.He didn't even participate in the grand ceremony in the second half, he just greeted Wen Shangke and drove back home, even faster than when he came.

And he soon regretted his actions.