my robot boyfriend

If you accept your fate, will everything really get better?An Anxin has no desires or desires, just looks at him from a distance for the rest of his life, will it be better?

Easy to say, but is it really possible?

In the past, I was clearly favored by my master, but during the five years, I never stopped being restless and anxious for a moment.

Maybe I was just born so abnormal.Knowing that you are not worthy, but you can't stop not being enough, unwilling, and unwilling.As a robot, he always wants to monopolize the one he loves.

"Xiye, trust me," Lin Yuan looked at me, Mo Yu's eyes filled with pity, "You are... too attached to many things now. But there are many things, the more you are attached, the more you will pain."

"On the contrary, if you don't want anything, if you don't expect anything, then naturally there will be no pain or discomfort."

This passage seems familiar.

This used to be the idea that I have been using to paralyze myself.

In the days when I didn't meet Chen Wei, I hypnotized myself like this more than once - don't hope, don't expect, don't have dreams, and you will never be disappointed.

Hearing what Lin Yuan said at this moment, he suddenly stood up, the empty glass in front of him fell down, and the ice cubes flowed all over the table.

"It's not as easy as you say!"

He was neither surprised nor angry, just looked at me calmly.

"Of course it's not easy. I never said it was easy. In other words, I may know better than you how difficult it is to 'admit fate'."

"However, refusing to accept fate... What good will it do us robots?"

"..."

"There is no freedom, no choice, a life that can only exist for the happiness of its master. Even if you want to be happy, even if you want to resist, can you really do it?"

"Eclipse, I have been created for nearly 100 years, and I have served four generations of masters."

"My first master, my 'Missy', was the great-grandmother of the current Master Lu Lin. At that time, I was bought by the master as a playmate for 'Missy'."

"I was by the eldest lady's side, watching her grow up day by day, from an innocent little girl to becoming more beautiful and mature. I applauded her at the graduation ceremony, opened red wine to help her celebrate finding a job, and watched her fall in love , marrying that goddamn man against his parents' objections, gave birth to a lovely child, and then was abandoned."

"Since that day, the eldest lady...is also broken."

"Use alcohol and drugs to anesthetize myself, and hate everyone. I can't do anything but accompany her, but Missy... doesn't need to accompany me."

"From the beginning to the end, she only treated me as an inanimate 'object'."

"I have already forgotten it. When I was young, I always said that I will be my bride when I grow up."

As he recalled, Huan Huan stopped what he was doing, with a smile still on his face, but his eyes were so sad.

The black pupils flickered with the faint light reflected from the mixing ice glass, but he didn't know that the ice had gradually melted by his hand.

"..."

"Later, I was passed down from the hands of the 'Miss', and through generations of masters, I was fortunate enough to still be able to function. Even today, I have become an enviable, never-ending robot in the eyes of other robots. An 'antique machine' that has never been abandoned by its owner."

"But in fact, since the eldest lady left, I have become a 'decoration' in this castle. None of the masters gave me the kind of 'love' you long for."

"I don't have any expectations now."

"At least the masters have treated me very well, that's enough. In the era when I was created, as long as I could not be beaten, scolded, trampled on, resold to others or destroyed, I was already It's pretty lucky."

"Especially like I have lived for so long, my life is peaceful, and I am still free. Seeing Master Lu Lin healthy and healthy, I can't say I am not happy."

"It's unthinkable for us to be sulking here just because you're jealous..."

When he said this, he was still smiling.The tone of voice was flat, as if he was telling someone else's story.

I was already wobbly, almost unable to stand still.

Knowing that Linyuan might have good intentions, I told me his story.

As someone who has experienced it, he didn't want me to be miserable.That's why he taught me to learn to let go like him, be willing to be ordinary and lonely, and finally get rid of obsessions, so that I can live easily.

I understand the reason.

However, it is totally unacceptable.

……

Of course not acceptable!How to accept it?Want me to "think about it"?Why do you want to open it?If the fate of robots is destined to be constantly replaced and abandoned, if a life like Lin Yuan's is already considered happiness——

My past...has compromised enough.

Although in Linyuan's eyes, my so-called "compromise" is not worth mentioning at all, and the unrestrained desire will make him feel absurd - there is already such a good master willing to take him in, so what is there to be dissatisfied with?

But who told me... I just don't know how to be content.

I have tried contentment, tried resignation.I have accepted my fate once, and there is no way to compromise!

Do it all over again, be loved or die.In any case, it is impossible for me to be as broad-minded as Bai Mo. Even if I am hurt, I still hold a tolerant heart and hope that everyone can be happy.

If it were me, I would definitely try my best to bully that latecomer.If Chen Wei sided with him, I would be sad to death, and I would never let it go.

And if... Chen Wei encounters something like Linyuan's "Miss" one day, if the person he loves dares to bully him and make him fall into misfortune—

I think I'm going to kill someone.

Whether it's a machine or a human.I will definitely kill the person who made him unhappy.It is not hesitating to lose everything.

so……

I must be crazy for thinking this way.

so……

So many years, such a long time, how did Lin Yuan survive?

He was still smiling until this moment.I really don't understand, the past two years alone seem like a lifetime of despair to me, and are "normal" robots as tolerant as he is?

Also, is it true that only self-deception is the so-called 'normal'?

Just because the universal "reality" is like this, and because the fate of robots has always been like this, does a greedy ghost like me who has no self-knowledge have to compromise with the suffocating real world?

***

"I'm so tired. I'm finally home. Staying in that kind of place is really going to kill me. How much do these people like to dance? How can they dance so well? Fortunately, I didn't take the physical education elective course twice when I was in college. I was squeezed into the dance class and danced ballroom dancing with a bunch of girls for two semesters, otherwise I really couldn't handle it tonight!"

As soon as he entered the entrance, Chen Wei fell to the ground after changing his shoes, and stretched out his hands to me by the way: "Hold me, I can't walk anymore."

I silently picked him up and carried him to the side of the sofa. He was half asleep and half awake, his eyelids could barely lift: "Go upstairs directly, I'm going to be sleepy."

"Lie down here for a while, I'll put the bath water for the master."

"I won't wash today, okay~ I'm really tired. It's just a lazy day, hehe, you won't dislike me, right?"

"The master drank a lot of wine, let's take a hot bath to promote blood circulation, so as not to be hangover tomorrow morning." I helped him take the blanket next to him to cover his body, "I'll wash it for you, and you'll be fine soon."

He did drink too much, and he smirked on the sofa to himself.After helping him to undress and take a bath until he dried himself off, he kept laughing for no apparent reason.

"Ye, now I feel... I live a very happy life every day, and the quality of life is so high."

"It's really happy to have you by my side. There are people cooking and taking a shower. I don't have to do anything and I won't be complained. You can always be with me, and you are super cute, and the days will not be lonely at all. .”

"I used to...be always alone"

"Eat alone, drink water alone, go to work alone, and no one has ever seen me."

"Sometimes I want to eat something good, but I dare not go in the door of the restaurant where I order food. After all, many people go together. Sometimes I see tempting cakes and desserts, and I often have no way to buy them back. At home, I always feel that it is a waste if one person can’t finish it.”

"But instant noodles all day long...it's annoying to eat too much, and I don't feel fulfilled cooking by myself. In addition, my standard is very average, which is far worse than your cooking. Every meal you cook is delicious. .”

I have been absent-minded since I left the party, and until now, I am still more or less immersed in the loss caused by the aftermath of the conversation with Lin Yuan.

Listening to Chen Wei's self-centered and chaotic chanting all the way, she was not in the mood to cooperate with his smirk, so she just supported him and put him gently on the soft bed.

But he was grabbed back and almost threw his head on him.

"Where are you going? Ye, don't go. I want nourishment, come and hug me?"

He thought he was really drunk and kept talking nonsense.

But even if it is to take advantage of someone who is drunk, and to earn a hug out of thin air, there is no reason why not to do it.

just now...

I always feel that any little bit of skin contact will make me more greedy and addicted.I'm already in the quagmire already, and I really... don't want to be any more hopeless.

So I hesitated.He looked at me without moving, his eyes were dazed, he got up and hugged me, smelling of alcohol all over his body.

"Ye, do you hate me? Did I do something wrong?"

I was taken aback, his voice was very low, it didn't even sound like I was hallucinating.Just opened his mouth to say something, but heard him sneer a few more times.

"Ye, let me tell you... Poof, I'm definitely not that Xiaye Luolan, absolutely impossible!"

"Those friends of his - I can't talk anymore! If I were really him, even if I stayed at home all my life, I wouldn't be able to make such inexplicable friends?!"

"I heard that I'm still the main force of the tennis club. I'm an otaku, and I hate sports the most."

"It would be great if I can find some definite evidence. Make sure that I am not him, so maybe his past has nothing to do with me. In that case, I can just think about how to live our little life well. In this way, you It wouldn't be so disturbing, would it?"

……

Really disturbed.Ever since I heard Lin Yuan's words, I feel that the future is bleak, and it seems like the end of the world is coming.

His mind was so full of thoughts about himself that he even forgot—Chen Wei's memory of the past was uncertain.He didn't know who he was, and he didn't know who to trust.

A whole dinner party, facing a whole house of so-called friends who don't know anything at all, but having to put on a smile, talk to them, drink, dance, and try to cater to everyone.

Will he, who is dealing with all this alone, feel more uneasy than me?

But he has been busy until now, he was so tired that he couldn't stand up after being drunk so much, and he still didn't forget to take care of my mood.Even though I was so sleepy that I was about to pass out, I still remembered to turn my head to comfort me.

But I, who was supposed to serve him and take care of him, didn't even give him a hug so stingily.

The author has something to say: Please help me catch bugs, many of them are not rough from me~

@biscuit delicious

@flying fish

@to my wife's little mouth