"Activities" You and the things around you

2018.4.5

Today is Tomb-sweeping Day, so the whole family should get together to sweep the grave.

But I can't go back to that home.

I received a call late yesterday from my father.

Because of some insomnia recently, I didn't fall asleep very late. Instead, I lay on the bed staring at the glass of wine beside the bed in a daze.

It was a glass of red wine, and the dark red wine was placed in the glass quietly.

It was quiet all around, very quiet.

The sudden ringing of the bell broke the silence.

The moon outside the window was covered, and the light could not be seen. In such a dark place, the light of the mobile phone screen became the only light.

I quickly picked it up and put it against my ear.

This is my father's first phone call since I left home. I dare not neglect it, for fear that a bad one will offend my father.

I heard my father's familiar voice coming from the cell phone, which was particularly loud in the silent night.

Very familiar, so familiar that I almost shed tears.

But I held back because my father didn't like my tears, I knew that.

"Father?"

"Well. Are you cured?"

My father and mother agree that my sexual//orientation is abnormal because I have a disease.

I think my father is very strange. If this is a disease, it can only be a heart disease. How can a heart disease be cured?

Father, you have taught me a lot, but never taught me how to cure this heart disease.

I never dared to say these words to my father, what a coward I am!

I just pursed my lips, trying to ignore the slight bit of bitterness in my heart, "...Father, not at all."

"Oh, disgusting stuff, I knew it! You don't have to come back this year during the Ching Ming Festival. Anyway, the old man has a precious grandson who is even more distressing now, and he doesn't pay attention to you. It's an eyesore for me when you come back!"

"...Okay, Father. You..." You have a better Ching Ming Festival.

Before I could finish speaking, my father hung up the phone.

Slowly, the brightness of the phone screen also disappeared.

Everything around became silent and dark again.

I suddenly thought of that idiot, that bastard's idiot, who was on this bed, listening to the drunken me talking about things that had been hidden in my heart.

Obviously, I have endured this for so many years, why did I cry in his arms that night.

His embrace is so warm, it's really...

It makes people very reluctant to leave.

I reached out and turned on the bedside lamp.

The light is light yellow, a very comfortable color, not too dark, not too bright.Just to light up this bedroom slightly.

Sure enough, you still have to turn on the light to sleep at night...

This desk lamp was given by a big fool, on my birthday.

That was still during the winter vacation, before that happened.

It was snowing that day, dyeing the world extremely white.

The big fool suddenly proposed to go outside to see the snow and enjoy the appearance of snowflakes floating on his body.

Such a stupid suggestion, I actually agreed.

The world shrouded in pure white snow is extremely beautiful, so pure that there is no pollution at all.

That night, the grass was setting its seeds and the wind was shaking its leaves, and he stood there smiling like an idiot.

He has a really nice smile, two small canine teeth are exposed, very small and silly.

Suddenly he took out something from his small bag, it was Crayon Shin-chan, no, it was a desk lamp.

A desk lamp in the shape of Crayon Shinchan.

So stupid.

I just remembered that today seems to be the day I was born 17 years ago.

The author has something to say:

"The grass is growing its seeds, and the wind is shaking its leaves. It is very beautiful if you stand and don't speak." - Gu Cheng

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