"Activities" You and the things around you

【X】

2017.8.12

"It's really scary to think that parents don't have to take the exam."

I forget where I saw this sentence.

But I think this sentence is very correct.

My parents were married in a family, and they fulfilled the task given by the family well when they were married for less than two years - gave birth to me, the crystallization of the two families.

When I was young, probably in kindergarten?

The children in the class will have their parents waiting at the door early every time after school, waiting for their dear baby.

I remember I was always the last one out of school.

After school, I waited in Uncle Security's room at the school gate.

Occasionally staring at people coming and going outside the window in a daze, and occasionally watching Uncle Security on the phone.

The phone is rarely answered...

I think my mother should hate me very much.

At that time, I would often see children in the kindergarten crying like a baby and saying that they should not go to kindergarten.

I will be hugged tightly by my mother, and then I will say "Baby" in a very gentle and gentle tone.//Baby is obedient, and when school is over, my mother will buy you ice cream...

I'm very curious--that kid is the naughty king in the class, this gentle mother is really amazing, just let the naughty king stay in his arms quietly.

I couldn't help but stop, staring blankly.

"What are you looking at, this is my mother." Seeing me looking at him, the kid glared at me viciously.

I... Of course I know this is your mother!

I... I have my own mother too!

But I dare not say it, because my mother has never held me like this, so tightly.

I have some vague memories of one year in Kindergarten when, out of everyone's expectations, there was an earthquake.

Because the city I was in was not very close to the center of the earthquake, there were only some slight vibrations.

But it still scares us in kindergarten.

Many children were crying, crying and looking for their mothers and fathers.

I didn't cry, because I knew I couldn't find them, and they would only let the kind aunt at home come.

Besides, if Dad came and found me crying, he would be very angry.

I clearly remember that when I was learning to ride a bicycle, I fell down and my arm fell on the steps. I sat on the ground and cried, tears kept falling on the ground.

Because of crying, the whole body twitched.

While weeping, my body throbbed, my arms still hurt, and I felt extremely uncomfortable.

Then the father not far away saw it, walked over quickly, and said viciously, "Crying is the behavior of the weak. As my son, you are not qualified to cry! Hold back your tears!"

I tried my best to hold back my tears, my body was convulsed even more, and my breathing was still not smooth, it felt really uncomfortable...

When did I realize that my //orientation// orientation was different from others?

Maybe it was when I went to bed with several girls in junior high school//chuang but looked at their bodies with no hope// hope, and couldn't get up at all?

Or maybe when watching A//V only to find that I have been staring at the man in it and still have a pants size?

I came out to my parents and they unexpectedly came to a third consensus over the years --

The first one is that they all choose to accept the task given by the family to give birth to me and to show a harmonious relationship in front of the elders of the family.

The second is to harmoniously agree that marriage is just a formality, and that after marriage each should not care about each other's private affairs...

Now for the third one, they gave me two options--

Either get out, get out of their sight, don't embarrass them in front of the neighbors, and let others know that you have given birth to a different kind.

Either my parents will find me a trustworthy and authoritative hospital to treat my "disease".

2018.8.15

I'm gone, to a city I've never been to.

At the dinner table, the expressions on the faces of my parents were so calm, very similar to those when negotiating with business opponents, and I didn't even have the energy to say a word.

Going to a strange city and living alone, I don't think it's a very difficult thing.

After all, I've lived by myself most of the time as long as I can remember.

They are very busy, and I don't see them a few times a week.

The author has something to say:

"It's really scary to think that parents don't have to take the exam."

-- Kotaro Isaka