Shanghai 29℃

What does it feel like to have no control over your emotions?

Chi Yuwan just wanted to ask God to give her a normal period of time, so that she could confide to Xu Mianji all her thoughts of the past four years and her admiration for the past eight years, instead of crying and laughing like a Going to frighten Xu Mianji like a lunatic.

"Don't cry, what's wrong with you?" Xu Mianji felt that she was almost like a repeater. From yesterday to now, she has asked countless questions about what's wrong, why are you crying, why are you laughing, and why are you sad? Oh, why are you so happy, but Chi Yuwan didn't fart a single fart.

Swallowing the toast in her mouth, Chi Yuwan suddenly stood up. She suppressed the discomfort in her body, held back her tears, walked up to Xu Mianji, looked into her astonished eyes, and suddenly lowered her head to find her lips. .

Xu Mianji's eyes widened in an instant, and he turned his head quickly, Chi Yuwan's head stopped a few centimeters away from her, and then tears fell down again, hitting Xu Mianji's face.

This time she was, really wanted to cry.

"I'm sorry." Chi Yuwan whispered something hastily, wiped away tears with his hands, straightened up and went back to the room, and gently closed the door.

The room was surrounded by silence, Chi Yuwan slid down against the door, covered his face with his palms and cried, tears flowing wantonly along his fingers, it was the trace of heartbreak.

Outside the door was the sound of the door being opened and then gently closed. Chi Yuwan heard the beep of the combination lock and knew that it was Xu Mianji who had gone out. He held himself on the spot and shed tears silently for a while, his mind was blank. My heart is also empty.

In the end, it was Xu Mo's call that woke her up, and the man over there hummed and didn't know what he was doing, "Chi Yuwan! Come and pick me up! I'm in Shanghai!"

"...Why are you here?" Chi Yuwan's voice was soft, as if he couldn't speak.

Xu Mo heard that something was wrong with her, and stopped immediately, "Are you feeling unwell again? Wait for me, I'll come to you."

"No, I can digest it myself this time." Chi Yuwan stood up with his support against the wall, his legs were a little weak, "It may also be the low-grade fever last night, not the cause of the illness."

Hearing that Chi Yuwan was able to analyze his situation rationally, Xu Mo breathed a sigh of relief, and said, "Forget it, I don't need you to pick me up. I applied to be transferred to Shanghai this time, and the hospital agreed. I can continue to treat you."

"Xu Mo, thank you." Chi Yuwan thanked softly.

"You were out of control last night, didn't you?" When he was about to hang up the phone, Xu Mo asked again, "As a doctor, I'm not suitable to interfere too much in your life, but as your brother, I have the right to know, Are you with that Xu Mian Ji now?"

Last night, he was excited like he was on hormones, and now he is too quiet. Xu Mo can guarantee that Chi Yuwan's mentality is already disordered, but he can't talk too much about her condition. He can only wait until the next time Chi Yuwan comes to treat her. It's time to check her again.

"I forgot to tell you, the reason I came to Shanghai to study is for Xu Mianji." After finishing speaking, Chi Yuwan hung up the phone.

On the streets of Shanghai under the scorching sun, Xu Mo said hello to the sky.

After tidying up her mood, Chi Yuwan spent two hours dressing up, then took her computer to a Starbucks, sat down and typed the keyboard all day, she enjoys this kind of people from all walks of life staying in the same space Feeling pretentious.

The novel has been updated with three chapters, and the press release that should be handed in has also been written. Chi Yuwan finally dripped some eye drops into his eyes, and only then did he feel that the soreness in his eyes disappeared a little.

Her stomach was empty, except for some toast in the morning, she hardly ate anything all day, and her lower abdomen was flattened, so she went to the Bund and picked some low-calorie food to eat. No longer beating drums from hunger, she gained some strength in her hands and feet.

The prosperity of Shanghai can’t be seen all night, but at night, its prosperity is the most real. Here, you can hardly see any disheveled people. Like a delicate pine tree, also like a mask.

The appearance that Chi Yuwan worked so hard to become is just the appearance of one of the tens of millions of people in this city. No one is so special, no one can attract everyone's attention, everyone is ordinary and simple.

Thinking of how she once said that Xu Mianji would be radiant, Chi Yuwan felt that she was too naive at that time. There are so many people in this world, how can the person she likes be able to shine on the earth?And now she has selfish intentions, Xu Mianji is too kind, she doesn't want others to see it.

But God was against Chi Yuwan. When she walked in front of a building, she saw a huge poster with five girls on it. Four long-haired girls in skirts with sexy looks , the remaining one was wearing sportswear and standing in the middle, with a handsome look on his indifferent face.

"Xu Mianji..." Chi Yuwan staggered a few steps forward, and saw clearly that it was a poster for an online singer contest, but why was Xu Mianji on it?

With disbelief, Chi Yuwan suddenly remembered that there was such a thing as Baidu Encyclopedia in this world, and searched for Xu Mianji's name with trembling hands. There was already Xu Mianji's complete information on the page, as well as a lot of related entertainment news .

After watching them one by one, Chi Yuwan was so shocked that he couldn't speak. Xu Mianji participated in a song talent show on the Internet three years ago. Because he sang well and looked good, he won the championship. Also successfully signed a contract with a company.

three years ago……

Chi Yuwan remembered that at that time, she was still coding and writing novels day and night, submitting manuscripts everywhere, and looking for internships everywhere. She thought she was trying to get better and approach Xu Mianji, but she was completely wrong, Xu Mian Ji will also move forward, and when she takes a small step, Chi Yuwan will try her best to chase after her.

She was so busy that she didn't have time to pay attention to these things, and she never read the entertainment section when she read the news. She missed so much information about Xu Mianji just by mistake. Even she had become a famous star. have no idea.

Chi Yuwan secretly hated that she didn't pay enough attention. She only knew that Xu Mianji was famous on a singing software, and she had hundreds of thousands of fans on it, and they sang songs one by one, but she Never knew that in reality, Xu Mianji was already so good.

She used four years to close the distance, and suddenly expanded it countless times. When Chi Yuwan stretched out his hand, he felt that he would no longer be able to grasp Xu Mianji.

A person you thought was an ordinary person suddenly becomes an unattainable star in the sky, and you may never be able to get it in your life, what should you do?

The complexity in Chi Yuwan's heart is indescribable. She really wants to escape now. Coming to Shanghai has become a decision she has planned for four years but failed. She even began to regret not controlling the nonsense she made recently. Xu Mianji is no longer The person she is entitled to have, what is she still working on?

I thought that being beautiful means I have confidence, but there are so many good-looking people, who is she?Xu Mianji was supposed to shine, she was...

Chi Yuwan suddenly felt out of breath, and her heart was shaking violently. She couldn't accept Xu Mianji who was far away from her, couldn't accept herself who wanted to find a sense of equality in front of Xu Mianji, and couldn't accept all the courage and confidence now I lost myself.

At the point of collapse, she called Xu Mo, begged him to pick her up with a crying voice, and then squatted down on the side of the street and started crying.

The traffic was rushing, and Chi Yuwan's cell phone rang again and again, but she didn't want to answer it at all. When she was about to die, she was actually glad that Xu Mo had come to Shanghai, instead of letting her live and die here alone.

Xu Mo was half-dead on the road, and it took a long time to arrive at the place Chi Yuwan said. He got out of the car and turned around but couldn't find anyone. When he called her, the phone was turned off, and he was so anxious, but in the huge Shanghai, he didn't even know who to call I don't even know how to ask for help.

……

Xu Mianji picked up Chi Yuwan on the way home. He was waiting for the traffic light when he accidentally turned his head and saw a sexy-dressed man crying like a child on the street. He recognized him carefully and almost scolded her.

When Chi Yuwan saw her, he still wanted to run, so she directly carried her into the car, buckled the seat belt and locked the door, and ignored her crying and fussing. In the end, there was a traffic jam on the road, and Chi Yuwan kept crying. The owners of several cars next to her kept honking their horns at her.

Xu Mianji directly opened the car window, his face wearing sunglasses was full of displeasure, "Join your mother in the fun, shut up for me!"

The horn sound quieted down, and Chi Yuwan's cry became clearer. Xu Mian and Ji Fu closed the car windows again, turned on the music, and turned the volume to the maximum. The deafening rock music was already a disturbance of public order.

Fortunately, before the traffic police came to negotiate, the traffic that had been jammed was cleared. Xu Mianji stepped on the accelerator and drove away, leaving all the hustle and bustle behind. A cool night out.

Chi Yuwan felt that her condition was getting worse and worse, her expression was in a trance and her eyes were absent-minded, but she couldn't think of any other way to vent her emotions other than crying. She curled up on the seat and kept pressing on the car door , trying desperately to get out.

I can't let Xu Mianji see herself like this, no, I can't let Xu Mianji pay attention to herself anymore, she will go far away, never come to Shanghai again, and never see her again in this life, although she will always be in her heart I can't let go of Xu Mianji, but seeing her life is smooth and smooth, it is enough for her to bless her from afar.

She can no longer be so close to Xu Mianji, she only wants to have her when she gets close to her, but that is simply impossible, rather than staying and torturing two people, it is better for her to exile herself and leave, just like this in this life. Love slowly dies...

"Chi Yuwan!" Xu Mianji looked at Chi Yuwan, who was trapped in his own world, holding on to the car door and waiting for her to get out of the car, but seeing that she didn't respond for a long time, he reached out and pinched her chin, and squeezed her face turned.

The four eyes met, and Chi Yuwan's eyes became a little lively, and she recognized who the person in front of her was.

"Can you see me?" Xu Mianji asked.

Chi Yuwan blinked, her mouth curled up, tears streaming down her cheeks, she nodded slightly, crying more and more violently.

"That's good." Xu Mianji also nodded, then spit out the candy he was chewing in his mouth, turned his head and kissed Chi Yuwan's lips unexpectedly, after kissing, he felt that the taste was not bad, if it wasn't salty Tears are perfect.

Xu Mianji withdrew her lips, looked down and saw Chi Yuwan's dull face, but fortunately her tears stopped successfully, she was quite satisfied with her beauty trick, she let go of her hand and put it in her pocket before walking away.

Chi Yuwan's mind was full of wild and unconstrained thoughts, which had already swelled into a balloon that would explode at any time, but Xu Mianji's kiss slowly deflated it. In the end, his mind was clear, and he was a calm floating balloon. The world of snowflakes.

Xu Mianji...kissed her?

In Chi Yuwan's fictional dream, she and Xu Mianji had even done more intimate things, but in reality it was just a light kiss, which made her confused, the universe collided with the earth, sparks burst, and the lips The numbness could not disappear for a long time, and the image of that person slowly opening his lips and kissing him could not disappear before his eyes.

Chi Yuwan suddenly burst out laughing, a little unbelievable and a little shy, as if he finally gave his first kiss to the one he loves.

His hands and feet were weak, and his body was floating. Chi Yuwan closed the car door, leaned against the car and giggled for a while, keeping his fingers on his lips, tapping lightly from time to time, as if Xu Mianji kissed her again .

"Look, she took the initiative, not me." She muttered to herself, the smile on her face never fading.

The cell phone in the bag rang, and Chi Yuwan picked it up stupidly, and there was a growl, "You can't fucking come back! Are your legs useless!"

"...Come back." Chi Yuwan felt that her mind had never been so clear-headed. She said it softly but firmly, and at the same time regretted the intention of giving up just now. She loved such a good person for so many years. How can you back down when you have nothing to gain?

She is a star, so she will take a ladder to pick it.

When pressing the password, Chi Yuwan's hands were trembling, and he had to press 7 several times before pressing 4, like a drunk drunk man, the numbers in front of him were dazzling, like playing hide-and-seek with her, When she was about to press her finger down, she dodged it.

Xu Mianji saw the foolish girl at the door who was giggling and playing with the combination lock on the surveillance in the room. Although she still wanted to strangle her to death, the smile on her lips still unconsciously spread.

It took Chi Yuwan half an hour to open the door, and when she entered the room, it was pitch black, and there was light coming out from Xu Mianji's closed door, she walked over lightly, stood at the door and breathed very softly Then, she clenched her ten fingers into fists and released them several times, but she didn't relax at all except that she became more and more tense.

There was the sound of slippers being scraped on the floor approaching, Chi Yuwan subconsciously stepped back, lifting his bag to cover his face.

Xu Mianji originally came out to see if she was back, but when he saw Chi Yuwan who was so shy, he turned his mouth away, "Aren't you going to fuck me? How did you become like this with just one kiss?"

Chi Yuwan's fingers gripping the bag tightened more and more, and finally snorted shyly, and ran directly into the bathroom, her heart was about to jump out of her throat, if Xu Mianji wanted it, she could too Spit out colorful hearts like Monkey King for you to choose.

Chi Yuwan took off his clothes and was about to turn on the cold water to take a shower when suddenly Xu Mianji opened the door and came in, holding a short-sleeved pajamas and resting his hand on the doorknob, the two of them looked at each other on, looking at each other for a moment.

It's not the first time Xu Mianji saw Chi Yuwan's body, but seeing that moving body under the warm yellow light, and that face that was so ashamed to bleed, she felt a burning sensation in her throat. .

Xu Mianji reacted first, closed his eyes immediately, walked a few steps forward, touched the familiar drying rack, put his pajamas on it, and explained calmly, "I thought you didn't start washing...well, your pajamas Forgot to take it, I put it here."

After speaking, he turned around and walked out calmly, closing the door behind him.

Looking at the closed door, Chi Yuwan suddenly clutched her heart, and couldn't help but yelled in a low voice. She almost couldn't control herself just now. In the hazy bathroom, she hugged and closed her eyes carefully. sleepless season.

She was so ashamed that her body turned pink, and she was about to turn on the shower when she heard a knock on the door, and Xu Mianji's voice came from outside, "You're menstruating, don't take a cold shower."

Chi Yuwan bit his lips tightly, feeling excited and feeling the love in his chest overflowing, he slowly approached the door, raised his hand to touch Xu Mianji's figure projected on the door, and hummed softly .

After taking a shower and going out, Chi Yuwan was wrapping his hair with a towel, and saw Xu Mianji turned on the TV in the middle of the night, leaning on the sofa watching leisurely, with a faint smile on his lips.

She wouldn't tell Xu Mianji that she wanted to squeeze between her legs and sit in her arms. In order to cover up her secret and impatient Chunxin, Chi Yuwan chose to apply a mask, with the face mask on her face from the refrigerator. With the ice-cold mask, the heat around her body was extinguished little by little.

Chi Yuwan breathed a sigh of relief, and suddenly heard Xu Mianji say, "Are you dressed like that today to go out on a date? With Jinze?"

Jinze...

It was the first time someone mentioned the name in several years. Chi Yuwan opened his eyes and looked at the chandelier above his head. Thinking that this day was finally here, he restrained his smile and said lightly, "We broke up right after we entered college. Long-distance relationships can’t last.”

Xu Mianji didn't give up, he got off the sofa and stood in front of Chi Yuwan, looked into her eyes and asked, "It's not because of me?"

In the end, Chi Yuwan was also very calm, "Yes."

"..." Xu Mianji raised his forehead, "Jinze broke up with you because you like me?"

"He said he can accept that I like you, but he can't accept that I keep you in my heart all the time. I think this man is really inexplicable, and he also thinks that I am inexplicable, so they separated peacefully and naturally." Chi Yuwan seemed to be telling someone else's story Same, looking at Xu Mianji whose complexion changed again and again.

"Since when did you like me?" Xu Mianji's face was a little ugly.

"The first side." The corners of Chi Yuwan's mouth curled up, thinking of the love at first sight under the willow tree that day, and at the same time, she felt relieved. The thoughts she had hidden for so many years could be finished in just one mask.

The author has something to say:

Here's a conversation that blew me away:

Chi Yuwan: Mengmeng, I miss you a little.

Xu Mianji: I just look at the photos when I think about it.

Chi Yuwan: Look, it's useless, what should I do?

Xu Mianji: Then what do you want to do?Um?