Tentative

The Qu family left in a hurry, and Qu Zhe only informed his aunt Lin Xiuli in the countryside. As for his father's relatives, he couldn't find any contact information.Qu Xiaoyu started to have a fever that night, and was delirious but couldn't stop crying.

The mourning hall is just downstairs of their house, everything is taken care of by Lin Xiuli's family, and Qu Zhe is like a walking dead, following his aunt's instructions to do what to do.He knelt beside the incense table, watched his neighbors come to offer incense and worship, and then helped him up, and poured out a light "sorrow and change", always thinking that this was just a nightmare. When he woke up at a certain moment, his parents still At home, maybe Lin Xiuyan would babble at him a few words.

None of the classmates in the school came over, but several of Qu Xiaoyu's classmates heard about this incident and came to express their condolences, including that senior sister Lin.

Lin Youqi came early the next morning, alone, and handed her a white bag.After burning incense seriously in front of the spiritual tablet, she helped Qu Zhe up and said softly, "My condolences...Xiaoyu, is she okay?"

"Thank you," Qu Zhe nodded slightly, "Xiaoyu is sick and at home."

"Would you mind saying a few words?"

Lin Xiuli also heard it from the side, and she thought it was something comforting to say between their friends, so she said, "Go, go, Xiao Zhe, go and rest for a while."

"it is good."

Lin Youqi deliberately wore a black coat today, and her hair was tied back, looking very solemn.She walked in front, Qu Zhe followed, and the two of them walked to a dark corner nearby where no one was around before stopping.Lin Youqi took out a cigarette from her jacket pocket, obviously also in a heavy heart.She lit a cigarette, then handed the cigarette case to Qu Zhe: "Do you want it?"

"..." Qu Zhe looked at the slender women's cigarettes in her cigarette case, hesitated for a few seconds, and then reached out and took out one, "Thank you."

Lin Youqi's cigarette smell is much weaker, and it is more friendly to Qu Zhe than Qixing.The two stood facing each other, each smoking a cigarette, and did not speak for a long while.

The faint smoke entered the lungs with the breath, and then spit it out, Qu Zhe didn't feel uncomfortable, but took a deep breath, and calmed down a little.Lin Youqi looked at his unfamiliar movements and said, "You...don't smoke much."

"Um……"

"Xiaoyu told me that her parents knew about our affairs, but they didn't expect that now..." Lin Youqi said, "I should tell Xiaoyu face to face, but since she is sick, she should rest well."

"What?"

"I'll let her know when she's well."

"You asked me to come here, didn't you have something to say to me?" Qu Zhe was puzzled.

Lin Youqi smiled slightly: "I just want you to come over and smoke a cigarette and relax. It's useless to say this, but it's still... sad."

"Thank you."

After Lin Youqi left, Qu Zhe went back to the mourning hall to do what he should do in a daze. He didn't shed tears, but when there were few people, Lin Xiuli cried several times in front of the mourning hall.

Until ten o'clock at night, Jiang Yuzhao came.

At that time, Qu Zhe was kneeling in front of the queue and burning paper money, Jiang Yuzhao came over and called out: "Qu Zhe!"

He turned his head in a daze, a look of surprise flashed in his eyes: "Jiang Yuzhao..."

Panting slightly, Jiang Yuzhao walked over with big strides, and gave Qu Zhe a careless push: "Let me give incense to uncles and aunts." After he finished speaking, he knelt at the place where Qu Zhe had knelt before. After coming down, I took the incense from the incense table, lit it in the brazier, and bowed three times in a proper manner.

"Why are you here..."

"Come here to help you watch the night." Jiang Yuzhao offered the incense, snatched some paper money from Qu Zhe, put one by one in the brazier with his head down, "It took me a long time to find out where your family lives...you I really have no friends."

Lin Xiuli's family was watching the night not far away. The two children went upstairs to sleep, and the husband and wife were left watching here. Seeing that Jiang Yuzhao and Qu Zhe were close friends, they didn't make a sound, and let the two of them talk before the coffin.

"Sorrow and change." Jiang Yuzhao said uncomfortably, "If you want to cry, you can cry for a while, and cry to express your grief."

These words are not at all like what Jiang Yuzhao can say. Qu Zhe glanced at him and didn't react too much. He continued to put paper money in the brazier.The other party didn't need him to answer. Instead, he said one sentence at a time: "I know you must be uncomfortable, and comfort is useless."

"I didn't cry when my mother left. I regretted it later. I should have cried."

Hearing this, Qu Zhe looked at him in surprise.There was a helpless wry smile on Jiang Yuzhao's face, and the dancing fire was reflected in his eyes, and he couldn't tell what kind of expression it was.He had never heard of Jiang Yuzhao's family, but only vaguely knew that his family was very rich, and that he had been a well-known hooligan since junior high school.

"When did your mother... leave?"

Jiang Yuzhao let out a long breath: "Three years ago, in the winter of three years ago, on January 25, my birthday." The paper money in his hand was burned out quickly, so he picked up a branch on the ground and put some The unburned paper money was pulled into the work, and then said: "My mother... At that time, I was only concerned about hatred, and I didn't even cry for her. I really regret it now. I don't know when my mother Seeing me like that, don't you even feel at ease when you leave." He said, finally turned his head, looked Qu Zhe in the eyes and said, "Cry, cry, it's okay, I won't laugh at you."

The paper money was burning in the brazier, making a slight "click" sound. Qu Zhe took off his glasses tiredly and covered his eyes.

During the day, people come and go, those unfamiliar neighbors, and the colleagues from Qu Yihao's factory came to greet him, Qu Zhe seemed to be completing a task, busy with the custom.He really wanted to ask why these unfamiliar people came to offer incense, and also wanted to ask how many people sincerely let him mourn, but what he wanted to ask most was himself-why things turned out like this.

Not not sad, but sad to almost numb.

The past that Jiang Yuzhao talked about, hidden under those light words was a dark time, and it was also a heavy sadness in his heart.

These words were spoken too easily, which made Qu Zhe even more uncomfortable, his vision began to blur, and tears poured out uncontrollably.

He never thought that a classmate would come to comfort him, let alone that this person would be Jiang Yuzhao.

At that moment, his heart trembled suddenly, almost thinking that the person who came was Shen Yizhuo.Under such circumstances, he was still subconsciously looking forward to Shen Yizhuo's arrival. Realizing this, Qu Zhe felt that he was really cheap.How could Shen Yizhuo come, how could he come, maybe he is still blaming himself for why he wrote those diaries, and why he was accidentally seen.

But he just really wanted... wanted Shen Yizhuo's comfort.

People are so cheap.

"It's all my fault..." There was a strong nasal voice in his voice, obviously crying, "It's my fault."

Jiang Yuzhao put his hand on his shoulder: "Don't blame yourself, this is an accident, no one wants it."

Qu Zhe cried so subduedly that he didn't even snort, only a slight shrug of his shoulders let Jiang Yuzhao know that he was crying.He patted Qu Zhe's shoulder uncomfortably and said, "My condolences and my sorrow..."

Qu Zhe buried his head very low, and covered his face tightly with his hands, but when Jiang Yuzhao looked at him, he could still see the tears overflowing from his fingers, reflected by the fire.He looked very much like when he had just lost his mother, hiding in bed and crying loudly.

Jiang Yuzhao really stayed with Qu Zhe all night, yawning and leaving at dawn.

Lin Xiuli arranged for Qu Zhe to go back to sleep, replaced her own child with busy work, and took turns taking turns to rest with her husband.When Qu Xiaoyu's fever subsided, he also came down to watch, but he never said a word to Qu Zhe. The siblings seemed to be strangers from the moment their parents passed away.

Yu Li, this was indeed an accident, and the driver who caused the accident also suffered the consequences.

But in love, Qu Xiaoyu couldn't accept this accident anyway - she knew that her love for Lin Youqi made her parents worry about sleeping and eating. The more she was like this, the more she couldn't forgive Qu Zhe who was the "fuse".

You can't forgive yourself either.

The Qu family didn't have much money, and only 2 yuan was left in their parents' passbook.While packing up her belongings, Lin Xiuli found two bank cards with her name written on her sister's belongings.One is for Qu Xiaoyu, one is for Qu Zhe, the password is their respective birthdays, and 7 yuan has been deposited in both cards, probably because the couple has been supporting them since the early years. The two brothers and sisters survived.

From now on, the two children still have to go to school, and there are many places where money is needed. Lin Xiuli scraped together some money, together with the deposit in her passbook, and entrusted the urn of her sister and husband to a nearby cemetery.

"Xiao Zhe, Xiao Yu, you all know the situation at my aunt's house," she said with her two children in her arms, "Grandma needs to be taken care of, and my aunt really can't move here to take care of you two. ..."

Qu Zhe quickly replied: "Thank you, aunt and aunt, during this time, I will take good care of Xiaoyu in the future..."

Lin Xiuli said, looking at the portrait on the tombstone, she began to choke up again: "Xiuyan..."

Her husband patted Qu Zhe on the shoulder and said, "Call Uncle if you need anything, you know."

"Ah."

"You brothers and sisters, talk to your parents for a while, we'll wait for you at the door." Lin Xiuli said, wiping away her tears, and tugging at her husband's sleeve.

"Okay, thank you for your hard work." Qu Zhe said.

That is to say, Qu Zhe seemed to have changed from day to day.He no longer hesitated to speak, and he used the polite words that should be used extremely skillfully, not at all like the submissive and bullied child he used to be.In the past, Lin Xiuyan often scolded him for being hunchback, and he didn't remember to change it, but after she left, the trivial things in life, the nagging that he had hated, all came alive.

Standing in front of the stele with his back straightened, he didn't open his mouth until Lin Xiuli's family left completely. He just looked at the portraits of his parents seriously, as if he wanted to say something, but couldn't say it.

Qu Xiaoyu stood beside him. After the two siblings were silent for a long time, she spoke first: "Qu Zhe."

"Ah."

"I will never forgive you."

"Ah."

"I won't forgive myself either."

"No need," Qu Zhe said calmly, "It's all my fault, just blame me."

Crying for days, Qu Xiaoyu's beautiful big eyes were bloodshot, red and swollen.When she was too sad, she felt like she was going to cry the next second just by saying these few words.

No matter whether it was Qu Zhe or Qu Xiaoyu, when arguing with their parents, everyone thought viciously not to see them again, wanted to be independent as soon as possible, and left this gloomy home as soon as possible.But it was the day they separated that they realized how stupid their thoughts were.

You have to lose it to know that you can't lose it. No matter how regretful it is, you hate the past self for not cherishing it, and you hate that time cannot be turned back.

"Just blame me."

As Qu Zhe said, he sniffed and raised his head to look towards the sky.

Today is sunny and cloudless, and it is already early summer, but he feels that the surroundings are as cold as severe winter.

Volume [-] "Commitment"