moon illusion

While chatting, the two walked towards the depths of the campus.I walked past the restaurant, the playground, Chaomu Lake, and the square... Finally, I stopped in front of the library.

Qi Fengyao wanted to ask my aunt if she wanted to go in, but when she turned around, she was attracted by the honor roll in front of the library.

Qi Fengyao also walked over, "Auntie, you..."

"Fengyao, come here quickly!" Auntie interrupted what Qi Fengyao had just said, and waved to Qi Fengyao.

When Qi Fengyao walked over, he was suddenly pulled by his aunt to a position very close to the glass of the honor list, and saw his aunt pointing to one of the photos and asking, "His name is Yun Zaiye, what do you think?" Is it this boy?"

Qi Fengyao obviously didn't expect that this name that was so silent in his heart that he didn't dare to mention it suddenly came out from another person's mouth without any scruples...

For a moment I didn't know what to say.

My aunt was still looking at the boy in the photo, and said to herself, "It really looks good, and it is supposed to be a very good boy. How are you doing?"

No surprise, Qi Fengyao didn't get an answer.

As if aware of something, my aunt turned her eyes from the honor list back to Qi Fengyao, "You haven't told him yet?"

Qi Fengyao shook his head.

"Then...that's why he rejected you?"

Qi Fengyao shook his head again.

"Then you are... don't you have a conflict?"

Qi Fengyao still shook his head.

"Then what's going on with you? Talk, you kid is really anxious!" Auntie looked at Qi Fengyao anxiously, and urged.

"I didn't see him, he went abroad." Qi Fengyao finished this sentence calmly, and then stood there without any movement.

Obviously did not expect to get such an answer.The two of them stood silently at the door of the library, and then slowly left after a long time...

The scorching but warm sunshine stretched the boy's figure very long, and the steps he took slowly forward seemed to be so sad that he couldn't move forward, but also seemed to be reluctant to part with this place.

Meng Yuan, who returned to the dormitory after class, sat down at his desk like a defeated rooster.

"What's the matter? The girl didn't like you?" The roommate came over and patted Meng Yuan on the back, joking with a funny face.

"Ah!" Meng Yuan suddenly leaned forward on the desk, buried his face in his arms, "It's really embarrassing, don't mention it again..."

"What are you doing? I fell asleep when I came back last night. I don't know when you came back..." The roommate continued to gossip, "Tell me about it!"

Too annoyed, Meng Yuan suddenly sat up and looked at his roommate with resentment.

The roommate was a little scared by Meng Yuan's eyes, shrugged and walked towards his seat.

Alas, how should I tell you, I thought I was in a blind date bureau, and the only girl was my buddy's aunt! ! !

When Meng Yuan continued to be autistic and humiliated, Qi Fengyao and his aunt were already sitting in the auditorium next to the playground.

"What are your plans?" Auntie spoke first, breaking the restless silence.

"Intend to? Just study hard, there will be departments to recruit new students later, look at scholarships..."

"Xiaoyao." My aunt interrupted Qi Fengyao's rambling perfunctory, looked into Qi Fengyao's eyes and said seriously, "You know that's not what I'm talking about."

"...I don't know." Qi Fengyao shook his head, tilting his head to hide from the sun that could not open his eyes.

"Is he still that important to you to this day?"

Qi Fengyao didn't answer, but looked at the circles of the track on the playground, and the students walking by in twos and threes hand in hand.

Suddenly, Qi Fengyao asked, "Auntie, is the boy you have been single because of him still so important to you today?"

There was no answer, but the answer was already on the horizon.

After a long time, a voice rang in my ears.

"Feng Yao, do you still remember that night, you asked me if I have a lover?"

"I had it, but I lost him."

"During my most important and best time, he accompanied me for three years and accompanied me through three years of youth."

"I laughed for him and cried for him. We used to be so bored, and we quarreled so much that we almost broke up."

"At that time, I was too self-willed. I never felt how important what I had was...I kept playing petty because I thought he would not leave."

"The fact is the same. That boy who looked very difficult to provoke in front of others, now that I think about it, he is really loving and protecting me carefully."

"I was once loved unreservedly and sincerely by a boy, but we were never together..."

Qi Fengyao sat there, listening to this story that he had never heard before, he was filled with emotion.

Whether it's me, my aunt, or even Xu Nuo... they are all people with the same disease and sympathy for each other, and they are all people who cannot be loved.

"Do you miss him?" Qi Fengyao asked, "If you like him so much, why don't you go find him?"

like him so much,

"What about you? Xiaoyao, you like him so much, why don't you go to him?"

Same problem, same no solution.

Seeing that Qi Fengyao didn't say a word, my aunt suddenly smiled, raised her hand and rubbed the top of Qi Fengyao's head.

"You know Fengyao, the deepest miss I can understand... is not so sad that I cry out the other person's name after drinking, nor is it that I think about the pain all day and night so that I can't sleep... but this feeling is always with you , like a shadow, permeating into the bits and pieces of life. It seems that it has not existed, but it still penetrates into your dream at midnight to expose your hard cover, or turn around and look back at the familiar scene, making you so depressed that you can't breathe... cry It came out but I couldn’t swallow it, so it lingered for a long time..."

After sending off my aunt, Qi Fengyao sat in the classroom, trying to concentrate not to think of that person, not to think of the words my aunt said... but it was like the psychological experiment of the "pink elephant", The harder he tried to warn himself not to think about those things, the more inevitably the face of Yun Zaiya appeared in his mind, and the words of his aunt flashed.

A little uncomfortable……

I finally got through the last class of the day, and the sky is getting dark.

Qi Fengyao returned home, put down his schoolbag, changed into black clothes, picked up his helmet and walked out the door.

The conversation with my aunt today didn't make him want to understand.Instead, he was even more confused, and even more uncertain about his attitude towards Yun Zaiye.

Stepping on the motorcycle, putting on the helmet, Qi Fengyao rushed into the night.

Ten minutes later, the roar of the locomotive stopped at the door of a bar.

He has never been to this bar, but he just saw a lot of cars parked in front of this bar, so he chose this bar.

He didn't want to be alone, he suddenly really wanted to stay in an environment with many people, those people's voices were loud and deafening, so that he could forget about those disturbing things for a while.

It's really strange to say that I am so autistic and lonely, but I would come to this kind of place to find peace of mind.

Qi Fengyao stuffed the helmet into the lower compartment of the seat, smiled self-deprecatingly, and walked towards the bar.

The dim light at the door illuminated the letters on the concrete signboard—Find.

try to find?What are you looking for?

Relax?relief?happy?even love?Anyway, no one will come here to find peace of mind...

Besides, whether it can be found is a problem. After all, the concrete bottom that looks cold and distant, mixed with the dim light...it looks a bit dying.

Pushing open the heavy door, the loud music inside immediately rushed out from the crack of the door.But it was only for a moment, the hustle and bustle was slammed back by the heavy door, as if nothing had happened, leaving no trace.

In view of the previous experience, Qi Fengyao only needed a glass of ice water and a few plates of snacks, and sat in a booth not far from the dance floor.

The dancing music and the twisting crowd on the dance floor seemed to have magical powers, which made him relax for a moment and stop thinking about those things and that person...

Qi Fengyao sat on the seat, lit a cigarette, looked at the colorful dried fruits in front of him, and didn't know what he was thinking.

"Handsome guy! Can I have a glass of wine for my face?" Suddenly, a girl wearing a low-cut suspender dress appeared in front of Qi Fengyao, no, to be precise, she was a woman.

"Thank you, I don't drink." Qi Fengyao replied with a wave of his hand.

"Look, there's no one who doesn't drink at the bar!" The woman laughed, and sat beside Qi Fengyao with the wine glass in her hand, "I'm the one who invited you, so let me save face~"

The woman rubbed against Qi Fengyao's body intentionally or unintentionally, and she didn't know if it was intentional, and she also slipped off one shoulder strap, revealing the spring light on her chest faintly.

Qi Fengyao turned his head away, "I'm sorry, I have no luck, I like men."

The tone sounded very tough, and even suppressed some anger.But as if the woman didn't realize it, she became even more unscrupulous.

She drank the wine in the glass in one gulp, and then pressed Qi Fengyao's lips involuntarily.

Then, the light brown liquid turned from the woman's mouth into Qi Fengyao's.

"Get out!" Qi Fengyao grabbed the woman's shoulder and pushed her away, "I'm not a gentleman, even if I'm a woman, I can still do it!"

Unexpectedly, the woman seemed to have made up her mind that Qi Fengyao would not make a move, instead she laughed wildly, her white chest trembled with the laughter, stimulating Qi Fengyao's sluggish brain.

"I said I haven't seen a man before, so what if you like men..." As she said that, the woman got up and continued to stick to Qi Fengyao, wrapping one hand around Qi Fengyao's shoulder, while the other was uneasy He poked around at the hem of Qi Fengyao's T-shirt, "I don't expect you to like me, as long as you can get up, right?"