I really don't know anything

Zero Zero Three is currently managing Ah Mo's gossip Weibo.

She recently detected a strange message on the Internet. The poster said that his neighbor had a weirdo. He bought a coffin and moved it into the house some time ago. After that, he seemed to never see her go out again. Worried, he asked netizens Said to call the police.

The next day, netizens shared gossip again, saying that they called the police, and after police investigation, they learned that the neighbor was a supernatural lover and bought the coffin to create an atmosphere.

Ling Lingsan also inherited Ah Mo's gossip soul, and when he encountered this kind of gossip, he was so curious that he touched it and explored it, and then found some strange places.

Through infrared thermal monitoring, it was found that this spiritual lover had no life fluctuations in his body, and after checking the records of practitioners in the world, they were not registered.

Jun Xijiu happened to be nearby, so he stopped by to check it out.

He rang the doorbell.

There were some noises in the room afterwards, followed by a particularly miserable cry.Regardless of other people who used spiritual power to destroy the lock cylinder, they wanted to check the door first.

As soon as half a foot stepped on the threshold, I saw a person with earphones, tissue rolls stuck in his nostrils, and a VR glasses who came to welcome him with all his eyes.

Jun Xijiu sensed it with spiritual power, and there was indeed no life fluctuation in the body.

The reason can be checked slowly. After all, he is trespassing illegally now, so he explained: "Sorry, I heard screams just now."

The person lying on the ground pointed behind him, and there was a baby doll with a strange smile: "Spiritual doll, there is a recording in it, I stepped on it just now." The voice was vague, as if talking with something in its mouth.

Jun Xijiu thought of Xing Che's Screaming Chicken toy, and felt that it was indeed an ordinary doll.

He said tentatively, "You are already dead."

The person lying on the ground wanted to get up, but there was no movement in an instant.But if you look closely, you can see that her whole body is trembling in a weak and small range.

It's like a mobile phone vibrating ringtone, and the vibration is quite regular.

Jun Xijiu took a step forward.

Hearing the sound of footsteps approaching, the person lying on the ground probably wanted to get up, but because the limbs of her body were too stiff and her joints could not bend flexibly, she fell down twice in the middle and failed. In the end, she just rolled over and tried to escape .

Then, because he was still wearing VR in his eyes, he didn't pay attention and directly bumped into the coffee table in the living room. There was a bang, and just listening to the sound made his brain hurt.

Jun Xijiu: "..."

He stepped forward, ready to help the other person up first.

She seemed to have misunderstood this move, and her voice was trembling: "Boss, are you here to destroy me? I'm a good corpse, and I haven't done anything bad."

Good corpse?

Jun Xijiu was a little surprised: "You know your situation?" He also pulled her up, and said something to reassure her: "I'm not here to destroy you."

She felt a little relieved, wanted to nod but failed, and instead reached out her hand like a beckoning cat instead of nodding: "I seem to be a zombie in this state." Her voice was still vague, and she seemed to have a glass ball in her mouth .

After a moment of silence, she began to tell her own story.

The woman's name is Yun Cangcang, and she once dreamed of cultivating immortality.

Immortal cultivation here does not refer to staying up late at night, but the kind of immortal cultivation that can live forever. This dream has been rooted in her heart since she was a child.

When Yun Cangcang was a child, when she was watching Journey to the West, she envied Sun Wukong for being omnipotent, and she also wanted to have that ability.At that time, she was still young, and she was still wearing a bed sheet and almost jumped from the fourth floor. She dreamed that she could fly.

Insert a sentence here, Sun Wukong is her first love male god.

Yun Cangcang first came into contact with fairy tales when he was in junior high school, and then became completely addicted to them out of control. At the same time, he became more determined in his desire to cultivate immortality.She believes that people's fantasies always have a basis, maybe there are really immortals?

At that time, Yun Cangcang wanted to drop out of school and went everywhere to visit famous mountains and great rivers in search of immortals, but Yun Mama's cold brows gave him a feather duster to temporarily suppress his inner restlessness.

Well, what made her succumb was actually the lack of money.

Before asking for funds from Yun Ma, she had actually tried it once, and she came back silently as soon as she ran to the suburbs.

It's really hard for a penny to beat a hero.

When he was in high school, Yun Cangcang watched Harry Potter, and after thinking about it, he decided to give up the fruitless Eastern metaphysics and start with Western magic, maybe he would succeed.

She bought a magic wand at Taobao for [-] yuan with free shipping, and then used all kinds of knocking on walls during the holidays to find the magic world hidden behind the wall.She was forced to give up this kind of behavior that outsiders seemed to be crazy after doing it for two years.

The college entrance examination is really an insurmountable hurdle.

When she was in college, Yun Cangcang only continued knocking on the wall for a month before giving up. After learning the reason for her behavior, her upper berth and best friend told her cruelly that the magic world belongs to the West, and you are breaking all the walls in the East. Neither worked.

It was a bolt from the blue.

She had no funds to go abroad to knock on the wall, so she had to temporarily give up the way of Western magic. Later, she came into contact with time-travel novels, and then indulged in them out of control, trying to find time and space tunnels. The modern spiritual power is exhausted, and the immortals must be in ancient times.

But she has to make preparations before crossing

In order to make a fortune, Yun Cangcang knows all the methods that can be used to make a fortune, such as soap, glass, cosmetics, etc., and for this reason, he has accumulated the first pot of gold in his life.The sales of subsidiary products in her university dormitory during the period when she was studying soap making were quite good.

Then the four years of college are spent looking for opportunities and accumulating funds.

After graduating, Yun Cangcang still refused to give up cultivating immortals, but Yun's mother felt that her brain was broken and it was hopeless, so she just kicked her out and didn't give her food.

In order to survive, I can only go to work to support myself.

After stepping into the society, the dual pressures of work and life awakened all of Yun Cangcang's unrealistic fantasies. She mourned on a beautiful full moon night. After her dream passed away, she planned to be an ordinary person honestly. .

however

Yun Cangcang pointed at himself: "Then it became like this."

She had already completely planned to give up the idea of ​​cultivating immortals, but who knew that she would no longer take the initiative to chase after him, and supernatural things happened to her instead.

I still remember it very clearly. On the day when the mutation happened, she probably got angry after eating mochi. After returning home, she suddenly had a nosebleed that couldn’t be stopped. Physical hemostasis.

I just felt lazy and didn't want to move when I was full, so I wanted to watch a movie with VR.If she just lay down and watched it, the nosebleed might flow back. She had the habit of eating snacks when watching movies, and she had a lollipop in her mouth at the time.

"I was watching a ghost movie."

In order to search various materials for cultivating immortals, Yun Cangcang almost included all unrealistic things in the scope of study, and horror movies were one of them.She thought that if she died, she might be able to use her soul to continue cultivating immortals.

The film is the latest one, and it is said to be terrifying.But for her, a veteran supernatural fan who has read thousands of films, the horror background music paired with the plot is as common as listening to the best songs and watching the aunt dancing square dance.

And if you watch it too much, you will become picky, thinking it is fake, what makeup is not in place, the color of the blood is wrong, the background is a bit out of place, etc. It is worth complaining about.

"I followed the movie and said a spell."

At that time, there was a plot segment in the movie that chanting a spell can make the soul go out of the body. In the past, when cultivating immortals, this kind of thing would be recorded regardless of whether it was true or not.Although she had stopped thinking about it now, the habit she had developed over the years made her subconsciously recite it.

"And then my soul literally floated out."

Her spirit, floating above, saw her body lying on the bed.In this situation, others might feel scared, but Yun Cangcang was so happy that he was going crazy, after all, his long-cherished wish for many years finally came true.

Yun Cangcang played in the form of a spirit body for a long time. Although she couldn't leave the house, she successfully came into contact with unreal things, which kept her in a state of excitement.

And then the joy turns into sorrow.

Because she had been out of the body for too long, her body was not breathing.

She has a wealth of theoretical knowledge, tried all kinds of postures, and really successfully returned to her body, "After returning, I found that my body seemed to have turned into a zombie."

After returning home, I found that my body was very stiff and I didn't need to eat.

Gollum.

Yun Cangcang probably talked too much, and accidentally swallowed what was in her mouth, she said to herself in horror: "Ah, it's over, I'm going to die, I swallowed my ball, am I going to die? ?”

Jun Xijiu was puzzled: "The ball is important?"

Yun Cangcang explained subconsciously: "Isn't that zombie with seven orifices that can't be discouraged? Now that the stuffed ball in his mouth is gone, will I lose my mind?!"

Jun Xijiu looked at her appearance again.

Seven orifices, with VR glasses in both eyes, headphones in the ears, toilet paper rolls in the nostrils, and glass balls in the mouth are really tightly blocked.

Jun Xijiu admired her for being able to hold on to this appearance for so long, and said a little funnyly: "I won't lose my mind, if you want to leak air, you will have already leaked it when you spoke."

And she is not a zombie in her current state.

"It's on fire, it's on fire!!!"

At this time, there was a frightened sound outside the door, followed by a vague sound of explosion, and the commotion outside became even more chaotic.

Jun Xijiu can't take care of this for the time being.

The accident occurred in another family on the corridor of Yun Cangcang. The reason was that the owner forgot to turn off the fire when he went out to buy vegetables, which caused a fire.

The homeowner cried anxiously: "My child is still inside." She emptied out all the things in the bag and searched: "I forgot to take out the key." She looked a little desperate and then knocked on the door: "Little Little, quickly open the door for grandma, come out quickly."

The child was probably frightened and was just crying.

"My house is next door to theirs. You should be able to climb over from the balcony of my window." Yun Cangcang, who was lying on the door and dared not come out, said in a low voice, "If I am fine, I will climb over." Now the joints are very stiff , walking is a problem.

Jun Xijiu glanced at Yun Cangcang, stretched out his hand and pulled her back to the room.

Pulled some hair on her head, took out a puppet doll from the space bag and wrapped it around it, and tied red thread on Yun Cangcang's hands and feet and the doll's body.

Jun Xi put his ninety fingers slightly open on the doll's body, and he lifted his index finger up, and the doll's arm moved, and Yun Cangcang's arm also moved.

He had just learned the art of puppet manipulation.

Jun Xijiu looked at Yun Cangcang and asked, "Are you afraid? Zombies are afraid of fire. If you go to save people, you might die."

After reading so many novels, Yun Cangcang understood what was going on at a glance. She thought for a while, then nodded and said, "You manipulate my body to save people."

Anyway, she is dead now, and it would be great if she could save someone before she died completely.And the kid next door is very cute, he even shared his candy with her a few days ago, obviously reluctant to part with it.

Jun Xijiu smiled and moved her fingers.

Yun Cangcang felt like a superman, almost teleporting to the front of the window.She watched as she opened the window with her hand, climbed onto the window sill and jumped without hesitation, hooking the air conditioner on the outer wall above with her hand.

After swinging around for a while, he jumped onto the balcony of another house. The accident happened at the next door, and it was a corner.There is no external air conditioner for her to swing on.However, the design of the outer wall happens to have a 10cm wide rain-shielding eaves.

When it rains, it will fall off in a string, which is very beautiful.

Yun Cangcang watched helplessly as he jumped off the balcony with his body sideways, grabbed the rain canopy and slowly moved over while hanging in the air.She was actually panicking in her heart, but she is not in control of her body now.

After climbing this distance, you will be close to the external air conditioner in the owner's house.Grab the iron railing outside the air conditioner, swing on a swing, and then jump onto the balcony of the victim's house.

Someone shouted: "Success!"

Yun Cangcang glanced down, not knowing when a group of people surrounded him.

Fortunately, the owner's window was open. She climbed in through the window and ran towards the kitchen.Looking at it in the past, the fire is actually not too big. The decoration of the kitchen is relatively solid and there is a special glass door, so it did not burn to other places.

The bottle of oil was spilled on the ground, and it was covered with fire.

Yun Cangcang hadn't figured out how to put out the fire when the kitchen caught fire, but when she saw her body rushing directly into the sea of ​​flames, she screamed in horror.

"I'm going to die, I'm going to die!!!"

Then in the middle of screaming, she was surprised to find that the flames began to shrink and condense into a ball as if being manipulated, and then melted into her heart.

It was a little hot, but before I had time to feel my body carefully, I ran out again. When I arrived in the living room, I found a child crying behind the sofa, covering his head and covering his ears in fear.

She breathed a sigh of relief, but it's okay.

Walking over to hold the child in her arms, she opened the door from the inside. She looked at the child's grandma who had almost fainted from crying, and said, "The child is fine."

"Little!" The child's grandma looked the child up and down first, and then she was relieved when nothing happened, and she knelt down on the ground fearing that her legs would give way.

Someone nearby asked: "Yunyun, why are you at Xiaoxiao's house?"

"I climbed the wall from the outside and climbed in." Yun Cangcang said, the exciting and surprising scene just now appeared in his mind again, and he felt his heart beating very hard.

etc?Her heart is beating so hard she should be dead?

She reached out and touched her heart.

Puff, puff.

The skin is hot, and the heart is indeed beating.

Only living people have a heartbeat, right? What's going on?

At this time, the fire engine also arrived, and the sound of the siren woke Yun Cangcang up.She took the opportunity to slip away, and after entering her room, she locked it behind her.

She looked at Jun Xijiu with bright eyes, because she was a little excited and said incoherently: "My heart is still beating, alive, I"

Jun Xijiu untied the red thread on the doll's body: "You're not dead." It's just that the body fell into a state of suspended animation, and the dormant state was unsealed by the flame just now.

It's also thanks to her good luck that she made a fool of herself.

"Master, please be respected by your disciple!"

Immediately, Yun Cangcang took a prostration posture with all four bodies on the ground, and she was so excited, this is a master of life, her dream of cultivating immortals can continue again! ! !

Jun Xijiu is indifferent: "..."

Girl, please, don't!

However, it is quite talented for a layman to be able to figure this out. It just so happens that he was entrusted to help find an inheritor before.

It was a great witch who was burned to death during the Cultural Revolution. After her death, her spirit body lived in a magic weapon that she had used for many years before she survived.Jun Xijiu happened to meet Pang Hai when he was shopping for treasures in Panjiayuan.

Jun Xijiu dug out the magic weapon from the empty bag.

Recently, his mental strength has increased a lot, and the inner space was expanded by Qing Nine Tails. There were many odds and ends inside, and it took him a long time to find it.

The magic weapon is a pipe.

Mo Ziyue emerged from the pipe, and Jun Xijiu explained why she came. She stared at Yun Cangcang, and after a while said calmly, "I'm a little older, but my talent is not bad." She paused and asked: " I am the Great Witch of Yunshan, you may wish to worship me as your teacher."

Yun Cangcang was still kneeling on the ground at this moment, she only thought for a second, turned around and bowed happily: "Master, please accept my apprentice's bow!" Miss all where to cry?

They communicated with each other, and Jun Xijiu took the opportunity to say goodbye.

Ling Lingsan suddenly said: "Hehehe, master, someone started voting for the husband of the opposite sex and the same-sex most want to marry, you double-killed and became the king."

Jun Xijiu: "..."

In the future, male apprentices will not be accepted either!