[Comprehensive British and American] Write Lei Wen in the name of Super Reverse

They found a bookstore to sit temporarily.

Baguoxia held the thermos cup and used Crowley's mobile phone to call Connor to report that he was safe.

After an exhaustive explanation, I set a time to go back, and it has been half an hour since I put down the phone.

When he put down his phone and turned his head, he was almost scared out of his wits:

Crowley and Aziraphale were holding his long-lost Dell laptop, connected to the power supply, and studying the contents of the hard drive.

Bei Guoxia leaned over and asked embarrassingly, "What are the two immortals studying?"

Aziraphale stepped aside, revealing half of the screen for Baguosha to see.

This copywriting is as follows:

"I added a WeChat red envelope group, and found that the group is full of gods, two packs of spicy sticks can be exchanged for a book of exercises, a bottle of Coke can be exchanged for 72 transformations, and a serving of beef noodles can be exchanged for hundreds of ghost-suppressing yellow symbols. It's so easy for xx to embark on the road of cultivation and ascension..."

Baguoxia: "..."

He is caught in a paradox:

If there are angels and devils in Europe and Milijian in this world, does the motherland also have gods?

that……

What about atheism?What about materialism?What about the ghosts that roam Europe?

Oh……

No wonder the ghosts of atheists are haunting Europe, after all, heaven and hell are not accepted.

At this time, Aziraphale interrupted his thoughts and asked a question: "What is the taste of spicy strips? Why do your gods want it?"

When Bei Guoxia heard it, she suddenly had an idea: Could this be her chance?Can the good thing of exchanging two packs of spicy sticks for one wish fall on me?

Although it sounds ridiculous, who is not happy when the truth falls on yourself?

He hurriedly said: "I can also bring you two bags, what can you give me in exchange?"

Crowley snatched the phone from him, waved his hand, and said indifferently: "No, we will shop online, just ask about the taste in advance."

Gan!

Bei Guoxia sighed sadly: "The ground dog took away my chance to become a fairy."

Bei Guoxia took back the computer, opened the forum, and saw a private message from "a worm":

"This familiar style of writing...is it 'Bane'? Have you changed your vest?"

Bei Guoxia's heart skipped a beat, the feeling of picking a horse made him vigilant.

So he resolutely replied: "Who are you? I don't know you."

The other party sent it slowly: "I don't believe you don't remember me, my article is recommended on the home page."

Bagel Summer: ...

Here, Tim has roughly determined that the other party has a ghost.

The proof is that after their last exchange, Tim discovered that Bane had changed from a big-hearted and rough man to a big-hearted, soft-hearted "hero mother" who shed tears in the wind and buried flowers under the moon.

Seeing Bain crying and crying in the police station, Tim was a little dazed.

What's even more suffocating is that the reason why Bane showed up at the police station was not because he harmed anyone, but because someone harassed him.

Bain wiped his tears: "Isn't the g-cup not entitled to human rights?"

Tim stepped back: "...Director Gordon, I leave this to you."

Gordon: "Wait, didn't you say you could take full responsibility, Robin?"

Tim: "You got the wrong guy, Robin is... Hey Robin, take charge."

Damian: "Clean up your own mess, stupid Drake."

Later, Tim learned of a shocking word from Cassandra: "clay sculpture".

Cassandra: Baine is miserable.

Tim: Yeah, it sucks.

Cassandra: ...are you laughing?

Tim: No.

Cassandra: Really?

Tim: Fake.But I'm more worried about the other party putting his hand on Batman's head.

Cassandra: Are you saying we're going to get a whining bi=big breasted bat mom?

Tim suddenly felt that he had a long way to go.

Facing the private message of "a worm", Baguoxia felt a little heartbroken: "I think he is challenging me."

System: "Hold on, don't fall for his tricks, your words are wild geese flying freely in the sky, be confident."

Bei Guoxia was very puzzled: "I can understand your intention, but why is it a wild goose?"

System: "Because they are arranged in an S-shape for a while, and a B-shape for a while."

Baguoxia turned off the computer, put it aside to charge, and continued to prepare for a grand funeral for Constantine.

He never presided over a funeral.

But I have never eaten pork, and I have seen pigs running.

Holding a thermos, he said, "We have to invite some of Konstantin's relatives and friends to the funeral. Does he have any relatives?"

Crowley counted and answered seriously: "No."

Bei Guoxia was silent for a moment, and came up with a good idea that got the best of both worlds: "Why don't we find a church and put him in it? No way? Hey, our temples can offer ashes. Constantine shouldn't care about converting to Buddhism, right?" ?”

Chase is Constantine's best friend, and he will come immediately after receiving the notification from Baguoxia.

"What happened to Constantine?" he yelled at them anxiously.

"My condolences," said Crowley.

"Where is his body?"

The thermos cup was pushed in front of Chas: "It's all in here."

Chas grabbed Crowley by the collar and shouted excitedly, "You just put his ashes in a thermos?"

After speaking, he was about to punch Crowley.

Bei Guoxia hurriedly stopped him, "He's an absolute devil."

Chas also knew the nature of Constantine's profession, so he immediately stopped and looked at Aziraphale.

Bei Guoxia stopped again: "He is an angel."

Chas glared at him, "What about you?"

"I am human……"

Before he finished speaking, Bei Guoxia was hit hard on the left face, h-500.

Good punch.

After the beating, Chas slapped his thigh and sat on the chair, his face constipated, unable to speak for a long time.

The angels, demons and humans present all looked at him carefully.

The scene was silent for a while.

Tears rolled down Chas' cheeks.

At this time, Aziraphale, Crowley and Baguosha suddenly realized: "This person is really sad."

"I'll be officiating," Chas said, wiping away tears.

Aziraphale replied, "Thank you for your kindness, but Constantine had a last word, and he insisted that Ben—that is, this young man—officiate at his funeral."

Bei Guoxia also quickly stated: "I will do my best, please rest assured."

Chas wondered, "Why? Are you his new boyfriend?"

Baguoxia: "..."

Chas paid for it, and Baguosha published an obituary in the newspaper, made a church appointment, and bought a new urn.

When Maggie walked into the church, she saw Baguoxia holding a thermos cup and scattering ashes into the urn.

"Hi," she asked with red eyes, "is this the funeral of Constantine?"

"Yes." Bei Guoxia raised her head, a little excited, and the ashes spilled on the back of her hand.

He hung his hands above the urn, and looked around blankly:

If wiped off with a paper towel, Konstantin's few ashes would be halved again.

If washed off with water, the ashes will turn into a puddle of mud.

"In ancient times," Crowley suggested, "the dead would hold onto our hand. For good luck, we would chop off that hand and put it in an urn for the dead to bury."

Bei Guoxia asked sadly: "Are you here to help?"

"I'm sorry for letting you see an unpleasant scene." Baguoxia said apologetically.

Maggie waved her hand: "It's nothing, you're Constantine's friend, he won't blame you, let alone him."

Bei Guoxia is very kind, what a wonderful lady.

Then Maggie's face changed: "She really came too."

"Who?"

"The slut who seduced John away."

Baguoxia turned her head and saw a red-haired girl chatting with Aziraphale.

Maggie said to him: "I will never sit with that woman, please remember when you arrange a seat later."

Bei Guoxia nodded: "Okay."

There are so many seats in the church, but it is easy to separate two people.

But he was wrong.

Constantine has ten ex-girlfriends.

These ex-girlfriends don't know what's going on, there are always one-on-one, or one-on-two, or one-on-three, or one-to-one all.

They all came to Bei Guoxia to respond: "I would like to attend John's funeral, but I don't want to sit with her, her, her, and them."

Baguoxia never expected that presiding over the funeral would encounter logical problems:

It is known that a has enmity with b, b has enmity with ce, c has enmity with efgh but hopes to sit with i...

May I ask how to arrange them so that they are scattered without being completely scattered?

Bei Guoxia brushed her hair in front of her notebook.

Chas walked to him silently: "I hope you can still hold on."

Bei Guoxia had nothing to say, she could only hug her head and howl.

"Yeah," Chas patted him on the shoulder, "I understand, that's what it's like to be Constantine's friend."

Baguoxia finally solved the logical problem, and then came the moral problem:

Angie came over and asked, "Why doesn't John have a portrait?"

——She is Constantine's fourth girlfriend.

Baguo Xia politely replied: "Because we don't have his photo."

Angie took out her phone and opened the only photo of her and Constantine.

Baguoxia was stunned: "Is this Constantine?"

"Yes."

"Why is his stomach so pointed? The neck is broken too?"

"I have to refine myself to look better."

Bei Guoxia wiped off his sweat: "Thank you, I think I should take a picture of the thermos to solve this problem."

Constantine himself was in hell while Baguosha was struggling to organize the funeral.

He lit a cigarette, looked at the environment surrounded by fireworks, and complained to the man in front of him: "It's still so boring here."

"What do you want?" the other person asked.

"I have a friend," Constantine grinned, "I hope he can come down to accompany me. I can't monopolize such a beautiful scenery."

Baguoxia stood on the podium, next to Constantine's portrait: a black and white photo of a vacuum flask.

The scene below is lively.

Because the vengeful G finally met the disliked J, and poured a glass of water on him.

F and I also started tearing each other's hair, counting old scores.

The quarrel gradually flooded the funeral venue.

Standing on the stage, he was weak, pitiful, and helpless, and he fully realized what it meant to be "the joys and sorrows of human beings are not interlinked".

He asked mournfully, "Who wants to come up and speak?"

At this moment, a palpitation exploded in his chest.

His heart had never been beating so fast and so hard, and the pain filled his chest.

He fell off the podium, his limbs spread out, and he lay straight on the ground.

The scene suddenly fell silent, and everyone looked at the host stage.

Crowley held his glass and asserted at the same time: "Wow, he must be pissed off by you."