like your mustard

Tuesday, December 2018, 10

I had a dream last night, I couldn't wake up in the morning, I don't remember what I dreamed, I just remember that I was in a trance, because I just got a cold, and when I went out, Ruan Xinhe made sure to carry a thermos in my hand.

He doesn't like to drink water himself, and even puts a cup in my hand!

After getting off work in the evening, I did some things in the study for a while. I didn’t go to work today. I don’t know if it’s because I just caught a cold or because I’m not in the right state. I just spent several hours doing things that can be done in half an hour. The timing wasn't quite right.

When Ruan Xinhe knocked on the door and asked me to rest early, I told him that I felt a little out of shape.

He said that when you are sick, of course you are not in the right state. Illness comes like a mountain, and it goes like a thread. Haven't you heard of it?

I don't think it's that exaggerated. I just have a bad cold and a slight low-grade fever. I'm not yet 30 years old, so I don't think it's like "sickness comes and goes like a mountain".

Ruan Xinhe told me to wash up and get off the bed: "Aren't you happy playing with your phone while lying on the bed? Why do you have to work? Isn't working during the day enough to make people feel bad?"

I was amused by Ruan Xinhe, put down my work which was not very urgent, took a shower, brushed my teeth, and got under the covers.

It’s true – it’s much happier lying in bed with your phone.

I swiped my phone and ignored a few photos of Zeng Yuwei who had nothing to do with me and posted among the four of us the photos of his soon-to-be-full-moon son. When looking through the games on the phone, I found a game that had been on for a long time and hadn’t been deleted.

It is about a robot created by a doctor to search for another planet that is 90.00% or [-]% similar to the earth in the vast universe.

It was manufactured with a heavy responsibility, because of an accident the spaceship fell asleep in the universe, and after waking up, the doctor who made it and was on the same spaceship as it was dead.

Its mission is to find that planet.

This plot makes me feel quite small, and the customs clearance is quite simple. You jump from this galaxy to another, go through the wormhole, pass through the dark matter in the universe, pass through the ignorance of everything, and then find a star " Earth".

When I cleared the game, I was still thinking that human beings are too ridiculous. To find their own homeland, they create a robot, a robot that has its own thoughts and feelings, and even feels sad after knowing that its maker has disappeared. robot.

Let it wander alone in the universe for hundreds of thousands of years, maybe until the machine ages and he can no longer move.

If there was such a robot in the world made out of this need, would it also feel lonely?

I put down my phone, took the computer in the bedroom and sat on the bed to write a diary. Ruan Xinhe came over wet after taking a shower. I looked up at him and told him to dry his hair and dry his body before rolling over. sleep.

As if I alone wasn't sick enough in our family.

He stepped on his slippers and walked away, and the sound of the hair dryer sounded.

I seem to be reminded of the dream I had in the morning. I dreamed that I seemed to be made by someone, and my words and deeds were walking according to the established track.

When I wake up in the morning, I feel a little dazed, and I can’t help but want to ask myself several major philosophical questions in life—who am I, where do I come from, and where am I going?

I want to ask myself repeatedly about the meaning of human existence and how to prove the meaning of my existence.

Is there any difference between me and a high tech built robot with feelings for itself?So what about hippos?What about elephants?What about ants?Is there a difference with them?

Am I supposed to feel alone as a lonely and separate individual in a vast universe?Are you proud?Or is there actually nothing, we exist and disappear.

Live your life in a lie that seems to be true and false, being fabricated by others or even yourself.

Ruan Xinhe came running over with his slippers on, lifted the quilt and slipped in. His cold arm was next to mine and asked me, "What are you thinking?"

"If the universe is an illusion, and we all exist in a virtual space, what is real for us?"

"..." Ruan Xinhe was silent for a while.

I looked down at him, the hair on his forehead was still a little steamy, I felt it was a little annoying, I stretched out my fingers and rubbed it for him.

He took my hand and put it on his own chest, I could feel his chest beating, he asked me: "Is the heartbeat real?"

"..." I felt like I was talking to him.

I stretched out my hand to pinch him, and he groaned: "Dou Cheng, you are sick, I'm talking about philosophy with you, it's serious!"

"I didn't see it." I withdrew my hand and stroked his strand of wet hair.

Like a child with ADHD, he reached out and grabbed my hand again, put his arms together on his chest, and said to me, "Don't be cold."

I saw that he was cold and warming my arm.

Then Ruan Xinhe actually started to communicate with me normally: "According to what you said, if the two of us come out of the same virtual world, then the two of us are real to each other, and we are real."

"Ok?"

"Are those so-called real existences really real, and what does their reality have to do with us? Our life is real, and all the so-called untruths about us appear in them."

"..." I think he is saying a tongue twister.

"Our own feelings are slightly more important."

"..."

Ruan Xinhe reached out to cover my computer: "I have to get up early for work tomorrow, otherwise I won't be paid. This is also true."

Ok, I have to get up early for work tomorrow.

It's very real.