like your mustard

Friday, August 2018, 10

Today, when I got off work on Friday, Lao Liu specifically told me that I would go to his house for dinner tomorrow. His daughter’s birthday was celebrated. I didn’t know why I was going to join in the excitement of his daughter’s birthday, but such a well-founded invitation invited me It doesn't seem like it should be rejected.

In the evening, I went to a nearby cinema with Ruan Xinhe to watch a movie. When I left the theater, Ruan Xinhe lowered his head and swiped his phone and said, "There are still people playing Fantasy Westward Journey."

Oh, then he must be a long-term lover.

Ruan Xinhe said: "Then I am also a long-term lover."

I said, "You're a fart, you don't even eat 'chicken' much now, okay?"

Ruan Xinhe turned his head and looked at me for a while after hearing the words, he felt a little embarrassed to see me, pulled his arm and hurried towards home.

He was dragged by me and walked a few steps, and the voice came out slowly: "I liked you when I was 16 and I still like you at 27, isn't it long enough, and I will continue to like you in the future, isn't it long enough? "

I have some of that, and I had dinner with him in the mall at night and he drank some sake, I think he is a bit on the top now.

He was still a little reluctant: "Don't you have a relationship, don't you have a relationship?"

I walked in front of him and pulled him: "Don't go crazy."

He shook my hand: "Are you in love?"

I turned around to look at him, he was smiling, we looked at him and his eyes suddenly turned red, Ruan Xinhe really can't drink, I let go of his hand and looked at him.

He raised his hand to wipe his eyes, and then he slumped down: "Go home, I'm sleepy."

I really can’t help it, I’m embarrassed to say a lot of things, but if I don’t say a lot of things, the other party will be a little sad if they don’t understand, and I don’t like Ruan Xinhe being sad.

I was a little annoyed, neither of them spoke much on the way back.

A good Friday made the two of them surrounded by low air pressure. After returning home, he sat on the sofa for a while and got up to wipe the floor again.

It's never been so fast.

I watched two episodes of TV series in the room. His mop dragged under my feet and asked me to lift my feet. Then I lifted my feet.

After going back and forth three or four times, I moved my computer chair, and when he came over and was about to "mop the floor" again, I hugged his waist and pressed him on my feet.

He yelled "Oh", "You're sick, didn't you see me mopping the floor, I'm working."

I said that you pretend to be so small that you can drag it 180 times.

He sat on my lap with an angry look, I stretched out my hand and scratched his itchy flesh, he twisted his body and laughed in my arms and turned around, I let go of him and he was still laughing, hugging After almost a minute of laughing on my neck: "It's so annoying."

Then I sat on my lap and watched "Castle Rock" for a while, and after watching it for a few minutes, he started to move around: "Is this the fucking author who wrote The Shining? I won't read it."

Ruan Xinhe is particularly afraid of watching horror movies, every time I say I want to watch a horror movie, he doesn't even say a word, barks and yells and expresses his rejection very resolutely.

I turned off the playback software, and he sat on my lap and directed me: "Find something happier to watch."

I said, "If you're dead, move a stool to sit and watch, your legs are numb from sitting on it."

He hummed angrily, got off my lap, moved a stool and sat down. I rummaged through the computer hard drive for a while to find an old movie that was more than three hours old to watch.

After reading it, it is already the morning of the second day.

Turn off the computer and sit on the chair to chat with Ruan Xinhe.

I said that I remembered that I played games for a period of time in junior high and high school, especially went to the post bar to check the strategy, and then accidentally entered a stranger's private post bar.

Ruan Xinhe leaned against the back of the chair and looked at me without saying a word.

I thought about it: "It's just a very pure private posting bar, where he shared his life, his feelings and many things that I couldn't understand."

"Ah."

"I didn't pay much attention to it at the time. Later, when I was bored, I looked through the messages he sent. Many, many years ago, the first one was a song by Jay Chou, and he posted the lyrics on it."

"Ah."

"I have pieced together his personal information through long-term observation. He is probably over 25 years old and under 30 years old. He has a serious illness, liked a woman, and occasionally thinks of that woman when he is sick."

Ruan Xinhe looked at me quietly and didn't speak.

"I probably remember that I read a general message from him. It was a message sent to him by a friend. The friend said, 'You are still alive, very good, continue to live'."

In fact, I didn't know what I was talking about when I told Ruan Xinhe, but the way Ruan Xinhe looked at me quietly made me feel that everything I said was important enough to be taken seriously by him.

"Because he was sick, I would think of that post bar every few years, think of the many memories a person has left there, and probably want to visit him like his friend, and then see if he is still alive. Alive, if alive, good."

"In my sophomore or junior year, I went to his post bar to see him. The last post was posted many months ago. I think he should be gone. I read many of his posts at night."

"There is a song he shared, Wei Ruxuan sang 'The Season of Love', and the female voice sang softly."

I found that song and played it to Ruan Xinhe.

"Winter flowers, thinking about the summer night wind, autumn fruits, ripening into the spring afternoon, you who don't see me, how happy are the days."

Ruan Xinhe smiled and said, "It's so cute."

I said, "He wrote under the song he shared - I'm thinking of you, and who are you."

In fact, when I was in my junior year, when Ruan Xinhe and I were quarreling and ignoring each other, I was thinking about him, but I was really not sure whether it was Ruan Xinhe or a certain relationship that I was thinking about.

"Is there him after that?"

"Yeah, after a few months he sent a message 'Never forget, there will be echoes.'"

Ruan Xinhe said, "That's great."

I said, "Well, that's great."

He asked: "Now?"

When I graduated from university, I was alone in a rented house in other places and couldn’t sleep at night to read his posts. He basically deleted everything that could be deleted, and it was probably too late to delete a few posts.

There is a post called "like you mustard", what it means I don't know.

He writes in it.

A heavy rain in the early morning, there is an illusion of collapse.

In the carriage, you and I sit across a row of seats, facing each other.

My backpack was stolen while going through the tunnel.

When you arrive at the station, you leave before you have time to say something.

The next moment.

I am suddenly old.

In this world, there are always feelings of one kind or another that are being let down, misunderstood, kept secret, hidden and not reported.

But it’s also long enough that someone will remember the things you’ve forgotten—the games you’ve played, the people you’ve loved.

Someone else will say it for me when they see this diary.

"Ruan Xinhe, Dou Cheng loves you."