mountain sleep

"Which university do you want to apply to?" Senior high school graduates lined up on the playground to take graduation photos, and Li Chengjin leaned in the corridor and asked Dongmeng.

Dongmeng rested her hands on the railing, with the strawberry popsicle Li Chengjin bought for him in her mouth, thought for a while and said, "City A, I've never been there, you can see the snow."

After speaking, he turned his head and grinned at Li Chengjin: "I haven't seen snow, have you?"

"What's so good about snow." Li Chengjin snorted, "Silly hat."

As soon as the words were finished, Dongmeng grabbed his arm. Li Chengjin pulled him from behind, locked his throat, and pinched his face. Dongmeng giggled and exclaimed: "...my popsicle fell off!"

Li Chengjin knocked him on the head, took the remaining popsicle from his hand and stuffed it into his mouth, the strawberry-flavored crushed ice melted in his mouth.

"Hey!"

Li Chengjin opened his mouth and exposed his tongue to him, the sweet smell of artificial strawberries wafted out, and the popsicle in his hand was clean, leaving only the bare stick.Dongmeng was angry and funny, but she just patted his arm lightly.

"What about you? Where do you want to go to college?"

"Nonsense." Li Chengjin glanced at Dongmeng, with an expression that needs to be said, "City A, you stupid hat, don't you want to see the snow."

"Oh." Dongmeng continued to lie on the railing to look at the seniors taking graduation photos, and rolled her eyes.

Many years later, Dongmeng will still think back to that morning, when Li Chengjin firmly told him to go to City A, and he imagined the future with joy in his heart.

"When will this rain stop? It's so annoying."

Early in the morning, as soon as Xu Zihang returned to the dormitory from the cafeteria, he smelled the smell of spicy beef noodles.Xiaowu and Laosan held umbrellas to cover their heads, in order to block the vents and prevent the smell of instant noodles from wafting out.

"Why don't you eat on the balcony?"

Xu Zihang walked over and was about to open the window when he was stopped: "Don't open it! It's cold!"

Hearing the rustling of faces in his ears, Xu Zihang was restless and wanted to tell them to keep their voices down, but he endured it and still didn't say anything.

Everyone else in the dormitory went out, Xu Zihang sat in front of his desk, and opened the official website of TOEFL for the fifth time.The phone screen stayed on the interface for entering the user name and password. He took a deep breath and selected "Login".There seems to be a scourge hiding under the simple page with blue letters on a white background. After searching for a long time, I finally saw "View Results". After a moment of hesitation, I tapped it lightly.

Reading 23, Listening 22, Speaking 23, Writing 21.

There is a total score of 89 written next to it, but Xu Zihang always wonders if there is a mistake in the calculation.His brain couldn't even do simple calculations. He entered four numbers into the calculator, and after seeing the displayed results, he did the calculations again.No matter how many times he counted, the result of "89" did not change.

The calculator was lightly placed on the table, and he wanted to clenched his fists, but found that his five fingers couldn't do it.

From childhood to adulthood, Xu Zihang never collapsed because of his grades.Going home with a poor test paper, listening to the fuck's babbling with the cheek, and can still have a cheeky smile and promise to learn the lesson next time.He has taken the "89" test many times. This "good" level, which seems to be only one point away from "excellent", can always stimulate and remind people how big the gap between watersheds is.

There is no sound of noodles in my ears, but the rain outside the window is still falling.

"Let's go to the library, will you go?"

After waiting for a while, there was no response, Xiao Wu was about to shout again, Xu Zihang, who was sitting in front of the table, turned around as if he had just heard it, and asked him in confusion, "What did you say?"

Xiao Wu leaned on the door frame, tilted his head: "Library—what's wrong with you?"

"It's fine. You guys go." Xu Zihang pulled the corner of his mouth into a smile.

After everyone went out, he still sat motionless at the table.The smell of instant noodles dissipated quite a bit, but the only residue in the air was nauseating.

He has no way to hold the "89" score and then boast, because he is not only one point short.

"Early Decision?" Lin Jisen leaned over to look at the application form in Yao Ge's hand, "Are you planning to apply?"

Recently, Yao Ge began to pay attention to university affairs. After asking a few acquaintances, he found out that there is something called "early program".

"Well, let's find out."

Yao Ge was very excited about this plan. He researched the requirements for applying to universities. He had no problems with the paperwork and grades. He was taking AP (Pre-University Placement) courses. The recommendation letter should not be a big deal. The main thing was that he was worried about extracurricular activities. piece.Although Yao Ge has worked hard to participate, compared with the activities of his classmates, it is still too lacking. He can only stay on the superficial surface. He is indeed not a person with great leadership skills.

"It's too early to start reading. There's still half a year left." Lin Jisen thought for a while, "But there is a disadvantage of this plan. If you are admitted, you can't go back on your word. Although you applied to good schools, it always feels less Click Select."

"Is that so?" Yao Ge just heard about the plan today, and he hasn't learned much about it yet, "Forget it."

"Ah? Let it be so soon?" Lin Jisen said casually, he didn't expect him to decide so quickly, "Don't listen to me, the chances of going to a good school after applying are very high."

"I know, but I'm not sure which school Xu Zihang will go to." He was unwilling to gamble on this uncertainty, because his ultimate goal was to go to the same school as Xu Zihang.

Lin Jisen whistled, he already knew that Xu Zihang was a boy, because Yao Ge blatantly printed out their group photo and pressed it under the glass of the desk.

"Do you really want to go back to see him during the summer vacation? Then I will go to the summer camp alone."

Yao Ge immediately turned to stare at him: "Keep your voice down, don't let them hear you."

Lin Jisen raised his hands in surrender: "Okay, okay. Don't worry."

Yao Ge had already saved enough money, he planned to take advantage of the summer vacation to go back secretly and not let Yang Yiwen know.He thought about the reasons, and said that he would go to another state to participate in the music festival with his classmates.

"Ah, look, I almost forgot why I asked you." Lin Jisen slapped his head, "I've been practicing Pu Luo's Piano Sonata No. "

"No time, I want to call Xu Zihang."

After driving away Lin Jisen, Yao Ge first clicked on QQ and took a look to confirm that he hadn't received any messages.Today is the day for TOEFL scores, and he is also very nervous.

The phone vibrated, Xu Zihang glanced at it, but didn't move.He dare not answer.

That number persisted and called a second time.He moved his finger, moved to the reject button for a long time, and then answered it.

"Why don't you answer the phone?"

"……did not hear it."

Yao Ge was silent for a moment, and asked, "How many points?"

"89."

With this score, there is no advantage in applying to top-ranked schools, but there is still room for improvement.Yao Ge changed his posture to take the phone, and calmly comforted him: "It's the first test, it's pretty good. It's enough to take the test again. It will be easier to study the SAT then, and there is still time."

There is still time.How many?Xu Zihang's throat tightened, as if he saw the straw gently falling down on him, trying to crush him.

There was no sound on the other end of the phone. Yao Ge waited for a while, then changed his tone a little more lively: "Hey, do you want to go to the east coast or the west coast?"

It sounds like the girl in the ad is saying "soeasy~", and it sounds like he has the right to choose.

"After you finish the exam, don't worry about applying to schools. You just need to think about where to go."

"...Beibei." Xu Zihang supported his forehead with his hands, like a clockwork that hadn't been fretted for a long time, and could hear the sound of rust being scratched, "I feel so tired."

very tired.

When he was young, he was punished by his teacher to stand while speaking in class. The teacher asked him to put his feet up and raise his hands, and then drew a line on his fingertips with a ruler, ordering him to keep touching that line.

It's so difficult, it's not difficult at the beginning, but it's very difficult later.He was sweating profusely, wanted to cry but had no energy.

Those wonderful blueprints are now at his fingertips, and he tried his best to reach them. He padded his feet all the way and stretched his arms desperately, but he still couldn't reach them.

89 points, it seems very close, maybe he can reach it if he insists on jumping up, but how much time does he have?How many more excuses would he use to procrastinate in order not to disappoint his parents?

I want to go to a good university, I want every penny my parents spend is worth it, I want to... stand side by side with Yao Ge.

89 points, too far.

"Baby, let's treat it as an actual combat exercise. What are your scores in each subject? Let's analyze where you are weak, and then address the symptoms..."

"Can you give me a breather?"

Yao Ge held the phone, this sentence was like a pause button, silencing him.

Xu Zihang pressed his forehead against the table, and repeated in a trembling voice: "...can you let me take a breath?"

The two were silent for a long time, only Xu Zihang's heavy breathing could be heard.Yao Ge lowered his eyes, caught his retreat, and asked softly, "Then what do you want?"

"I don't know." Xu Zihang couldn't hold back his sobs, and there was a grunting sound in his throat, as if someone was strangling his neck.He has to admit that he is really fragile, and a single score can easily make him feel real despair, "I feel so far away from you, you can live happily without me, but I can't even pass the TOEFL test." ..."

"Xu Zihang."

Yao Ge's teeth trembled, his heart seemed to be soaked in cold water, and the heat on his body was drained in a second.

"Do you know what you're talking about?"

The wisdom tooth wound has healed, and the tongue will no longer hurt when touched.But why are they still repeating such conversations?

What does it mean for him to be happy?In order to save the little money, he moved the box and couldn't lift it with his hands, and in order to successfully apply for a university that is suitable for the two of them, he studied how to get credits every day, and desperately participated in group activities he didn't like. Is he happy?

"Do you really think that I run out to play after school at two o'clock every day?" Yao Ge tightly clenched his fists on the table, so hard that his whole body trembled slightly. It was unbelievable that they had reached the point where they needed to accuse each other verbally. the point.

He didn't care about those few words, but he couldn't forgive Xu Zihang for shrinking back.

"It's hard for you, I know. But don't think that you are the only one who has the hardest time in the whole world."

Xu Zihang was not the only one who was under high pressure. He also accumulated tears and sweat for a long time, but he still gritted his teeth and persisted.

"I really, really, really hate it when you say such frustrating words."

Xu Zihang covered his face, even though he knew he was talking nonsense, he just couldn't help it, these cramped questions were driving him crazy, he was not qualified to choose the east coast or the west coast, he tried, he really tried pass.

It was so hard, he couldn't see hope.

"I feel sorry for my parents, Bebe."

"I'm too self-willed, afraid that their hard work will be in vain."

Yao Ge listened to the voice on the other end of the phone. From this moment, he seemed to have fallen from a high cliff. The wind was blowing on his body and face, and his heart felt like it was cut.He can't be invincible, and he can't understand the meaning of these words and remain indifferent.

The Early Decision application form was thrown aside, and before he called, he was still telling others to wait for Xu Zihang to go to school together.

Countless days and nights of loneliness and helplessness, while he was under pressure to deal with language barriers and cultural differences in a foreign country, he carefully took care of Xu Zihang's ups and downs. .

This is the emotion that he will stick to even if he and Yang Yiwen hurt each other, and it is a little hope that he cherishes and cherishes, but now he hears the sound of bubbles breaking, it turns out that they are all holding on.

"...you should prepare well for the college entrance examination."

The sound of Lin Jisen practicing the piano could be faintly heard from the next room. Yao Geku sat at the table, waiting for the answer from the other side, but there was no answer from the other side.

Disappointment is a momentary thing. He has had many disappointing moments since he was a child, and this one is not too many.

Yao Ge didn't speak any more, and hung up the phone.After sitting alone for a while, he turned around to remove the quilt cover and sheets on the bed.

I slept for a long time, it's time to change.

He pulled out the inner core of the heavy quilt vigorously, and threw the old quilt cover on the ground.Yao Ge squeezed the new quilt cover into one corner, stretched out his hand to straighten it, and stuffed another corner.The quilt was rolled out, and he shook vigorously.Not shaking neatly.

The quilt was removed and covered, and the quilt was removed again.It's just a quilt, no matter how you cover it, it won't fit well.He crouched down holding the half-covered quilt, and buried his face in the quilt unbearably.Wanting to scream but being unable to make a sound is like watching a doctor take out a hammer and a scalpel, while I can only lie there with my mouth open and drooling.

He never asked Xu Zihang to come to America, never.It was Xu Zihang who gave him such extravagant hopes, and then easily told him that he wanted to quit.

Xu Zihang was lying on the bed in the dormitory, the screen of his mobile phone was wet.He was split in half, each side tearing and pulling in different directions.

In a trance, he seemed to hear the green train carrying the long-lost fragments of sunshine "whooping" towards the distance, not the one that brought him to Yao Ge.

"Aunt Xiayue, I want to attend summer camp with Lin Jisen."

"Cough cough cough... what?" Lin Jisen yelled in disbelief before anyone else could speak, "You and I are going to summer camp?"

Yao Ge ignored his constant winks and lowered his head to eat.

"Okay, I'll contact the teacher right away to sign you up together." Ji Xiayue was very happy about this. The two children have a care together, and it is beneficial to participate in more summer camps.

"Aren't you going back to China?" After dinner, Lin Jisen went to Yao Ge's room to ask.

Yao Ge walked over and made a gesture to close the door: "No return."

"Why? Hey!"

After shutting Lin Jisen out of the room, Yao Ge put on his earphones, opened QQ and took a look, but there was no new news.In the past few days, he didn't call Xu Zihang, nor did he receive any message.

It wasn't because of others, but they themselves cut off contact on their own initiative.Yao Ge closed his eyes, and the music in his ears turned into loud noise, complicated and noisy.

It took a lot of effort for him not to crave company.When I was young, I wanted my parents to accompany me, and when I grew up, I wanted Xu Zihang to accompany me.But "want" is often the light dust between his fingers, which he can't grasp.

89 points, is it really the reason?Yao Ge has been thinking these days, what is this score worth.But he seems to understand a little now that they talk every day, but they forget to have a good conversation.

Yao Ge looked again at the quiet QQ page.Xu Zihang, if you want to give up on me, then I will give up on you first.

(Remarks: *A score of 89 is not bad in TOEFL. It is considered an average level, but there is no great advantage in applying to the top 30 universities. A score of 90 is the standard for preparing for the SAT. Ivy generally requires a minimum score of 100. No mention I'm sorry for getting 89 points in the test, everyone who works hard is worthy of praise)