mountain sleep

Xu Zihang huddled up and sat on the train all night, but he didn't go up when he got downstairs. He sat by the roadside flower garden and waited until eight o'clock before going to the iron gate to ring the doorbell.

Chen Siyi was taken aback by his sudden return home, and his staring eyes became clear: "Didn't you go to the concert? Why didn't you tell me in advance when you got home?"

When she saw the sluggish Xu Zihang, she couldn't help crying out, asking repeatedly: "What happened?"

"mom."

Xu Zihang suppressed the trill in his throat, and said as calmly and restrained as possible: "I like Yao Ge."

"It's five knives in total." Yao Ge turned the credit card machine to the customer's side, "Thank you."

After the bill came out, Yao Ge skillfully tore it off, took a pen and handed it over: "Please sign."

After saying the last sentence of wishing you a happy tonight, Yao Ge started to clean up the potato chips on the cart and the milk jug on the table.

Residues in the coffee machine should be taken out and thrown away, and donuts sitting on the counter should be stored in glass jars.After finishing these, Yao Ge pushed the carts into the small rooms next to each other, ending today's work.

"What are you doing?" Lin Jisen poked his head out of the room, shaking the disc in his hand, "Do you want to watch a movie?"

Yao Ge took off half of his earphones and shook his head: "I haven't finished my homework."

Lin Jisen pursed his lips in disappointment, saw the stack of money in his hand, and asked him, "How much did you earn?"

"More than 300." He sorted and folded the one-dollar and five-dollar banknotes one by one, and threw the coins into the piggy bank. "By the way, are you free tomorrow?" Yao Ge motioned him to close the door, "Come with me Will you apply for a card when buying a mobile phone?"

"Yes." Lin Jisen looked back and forth in front of the mirror in his room, playing with his hair, "It is enough to get a card, but you insist on buying a mobile phone."

"Tomorrow at nine o'clock, if Aunt Xiayue asks, just don't say anything."

"Know it!"

There is a mobile phone on Yao Ge's table. When Yang Yiwen gave it to him, she said to him: "I give you the mobile phone because I trust you. Don't do things that I don't like. When you leave, I will be self-sufficient. I don't care about you."

Yao Ge knew that his bet was very naive, but since Yang Yiwen said so, his self-esteem would not allow him to be underestimated by Yang Yiwen.Living in Aunt Xiayue's house is very easy, no one has ever cared about him, and the things in the house can be used casually, but after all, he is dependent on others, Yao Ge tries his best not to bother others too much.He found a job in the school's supermarket, and he worked for two hours every afternoon after school. Except for carrying heavy objects when arranging the shelves, everything else was relatively easy, and he could earn $7 an hour.

If he wanted to contact Xu Zihang, he would earn it himself.In the future, if he wants to see Xu Zihang, he will make money by himself.He is not in a hurry, he can bear it.

Xu Zihang couldn't bear it anymore, once those patiences reached the limit, he was about to burst, he was almost out of breath when he was about to say the second sentence, and he started to cry like a child when he opened his mouth, those grievances in front of his parents Knowing why it became turbulent again, his defense was vulnerable.

——What should I do, I really like what he should do.

——It’s so uncomfortable, I want to dig out my heart.

Chen Siyi was in a daze, and before he had time to think, he was shocked by Xu Zihang's hysterical tears and took a step back. It took him a long time to understand what he meant by liking.

She was about to cry, but when Xu Zihang was on the verge of breaking down, she knew better than anyone that she should hold on.

Xu Xingqiang stood at the door of the room, he wanted to move and then stopped, and when he heard Xu Zihang start to say sorry inarticulately, he felt mixed emotions that were hard to express.

Those real pains overflowed from the scattered words. Young people are looking for an outlet for their emotions, but every word is tearing at the hearts of their parents.

Chen Siyi's lips trembled slightly. She could be angry, interrupt, or tell Xu Zihang to stop talking, but she didn't. She took a step forward and hugged her son who was much taller than her, as if coaxing him to cry when he was a child. Like him who was out of breath, he stroked the back of his head with his hand: "It's okay, it's okay."

Xu Xingqiang went to the kitchen, took out three eggs from the refrigerator, beat one into a bowl, put it down after stirring a couple of times, turned on the range hood, put his hands on the stove in a daze for a long time, heaved a long sigh, roughly Li's thumb pressed the corner of his eye.

Like bubbly water gradually subsiding, although Xu Zihang was still sobbing, he calmed down slowly under the comfort of his mother.Xu Xingqiang came out of the kitchen with two bowls of noodles. He hid his emotions just now, and greeted them in a natural tone: "Haven't you eaten breakfast yet? Let's talk about anything after dinner."

A family of three sat at the dining table, and it was rare for anyone to speak, only the sound of bowls and chopsticks clinking.Xu Zihang held his father's fried egg with his chopsticks, the sauce was rich and fragrant, and he was really hungry.

Chen Siyi didn't have much appetite, her mind was tangled up in a mess, Xu Zihang's words were intertwined with his crying, and her thoughts couldn't flow.Xu Xingqiang picked up a big mouthful of noodles with his chopsticks, and he took a long time to put it into his mouth. When he felt blocked, he couldn't eat easily.Among the three, only Xu Zihang ate everything.

After the meal, seeing Xu Zihang's mood stabilized, Xu Xingqiang spoke first: "Okay, now let's have a good chat—don't cry anymore, okay?"

"Then let me tell you first." Xu Xingqiang glanced at his wife and son, "First of all, whoever you like is the same for mom and dad. But for you, it's different. What we care about is whether you are really mature. Is it? Zihang, you are now a sophomore in high school, are you sure this is what you want?——I know you must say yes, but don’t rush to answer me..."

"I'm just sure, I'm really sure," Xu Zihang couldn't wait to prove his determination, sweating on his brow this winter, "so I want to go to America."

"Are you sure, is he sure too?" Chen Siyi took the quarrel, it was hard for her to believe that this matter was true, but she had to face the truth of this matter, "When did it happen? What next? What are you going to do? He went abroad so you want to go abroad? Will you never come back? Have you ever thought about what your parents should do?"

"I..." Xu Zihang was caught off guard by Chen Siyi's series of questions, so he could only answer what he knew, "I liked him before I went to Naicheng. He is just like me. And I will study hard. Don't you mean me? Will you study hard with Yao Ge?"

"What if we break up?" Chen Siyi tapped his fingers on the table, and his tone rose a little, "Then do you want to be the same as this time? Or are you going back to China?"

Xu Zihang choked for a moment, not because he couldn't answer, but because he didn't know how to convince others.

"Hang, since you were a child, we have respected your ideas. At that time, you said you were going to study in Naicheng, but we did not stop you. During this time, you were under a lot of pressure, and your parents didn't say anything. Now you suddenly ran back The family said that you like Yao Ge and you want to go to the United States with him, then the mother asked you, can you really bear it? Can you face other people's strange eyes in the future? Can you guarantee that you will not regret it?"

When Chen Siyi said this, he paused, cleared his throat, and continued: "You said you won't regret it, what about Yao Ge? Is he also firm? Does his mother know about this? Do they agree? It's the problem, it's not that we promised you to go abroad, everything will be fine if you pat your ass, do you understand?"

These sharp questionings dragged Xu Zihang out of the ideal castle. He thought that with his solitary courage, he would be able to cross the mountains and oceans to reach that person, but he did not expect that he was still ordinary and insignificant.

Chen Siyi didn't wipe away the tears from the corners of her eyes until she returned to her room. She endured for a long time to prevent herself from collapsing in front of Xu Zihang.Xu Xingqiang stood in front of the window with his hands behind his back, speechless except for sighing.Chen Siyi lowered his head, twisted the tissue in his hand, and said in a low voice, "I don't want him to go."

Xu Xingqiang looked away from the busy traffic, and turned his head: "He is determined to go, how can you stop him?"

"I won't let him go forever. He can go after the postgraduate entrance examination. I won't stop him from contacting Yao Ge." Chen Siyi said a few words, but the words were stuck in his throat, "But not now."

"Why are you crying!" Xu Xingqiang turned around and saw his wife's teary eyes, so he quickly took out a tissue and comforted him softly, "You cry after he finishes crying, it's still contagious."

"He wants to meet the person he likes, and I want to see him too."

One sentence made Xu Xingqiang's eyes blush. There are only a few things in this world that he can worry about. How can he be willing to let his beloved son go far away.

Chen Siyi leaned on Xu Xingqiang's shoulder, sobbing and swallowing for a long time, but finally couldn't hold back the tears, she sobbed as if asking a question and as if talking to herself: "What will he do in the future, what will others think of him, old Xu, me, I really can't think about it."

They all carefully kept their mouths shut on key issues, as if the only thing they needed to discuss was "going abroad", but there was no shortage of heavy blows, messy and fierce hammers on their hearts.There was no time to think too much about why, let alone explore the depth of the two children's feelings. They could only resist and pretend to be respectful and understanding, saying that we don't care who you like.

"...His future path, after all, he has to walk on his own." Xu Xingqiang said this sentence is not easy, how come he likes boys?How should he deal with himself when others find out?Will I be bullied in the future?Will it be called abnormal?Just thinking about these questions makes him feel uncomfortable, but he can only bear it, because for him, respecting his son will always come first.

"As parents, we can only be his back when he needs it."

Xu Zihang lay on his back on his bed, with his elbows pressing on his eyes, and twinkling stars appeared from the eyeballs being pressed.Chen Siyi said let him think about it, he thought about it, he still wanted to go abroad.

Chen Siyi would cry, he knew it.He thought he was already prepared, even if he was beaten up or even humiliated, but he didn't expect his mother to ask that question: "Have you thought about what mom and dad should do?"

He thought about it too, but he didn't dare to think deeply.He hated himself for being so selfish, but he couldn't be selfish.

Before lunch, Xu Zihang knocked on his parents' door and handed them a plan.

He has written many proposals, he will write when he fails the exam, and occasionally he will write when he wants to work hard, but he doesn’t know where to throw it three days after he finishes writing, even if he sticks it on the wall, he will become meaningless words.But this time the plan he wrote was unprecedentedly serious, even the words were written stroke by stroke.

"I will prove to you that I am serious and I will not regret it." Xu Zihang changed his depression a few hours ago and said with a correct attitude, "I wrote the study plan for this semester, and my grades will keep up. Prepare and I will do it myself."

Chen Siyi and Xu Xingqiang lowered their heads to look at the proposal. They even wrote down what time to get up, what time to read which subject, how many questions to write and how many books to memorize in a day.In normal times, Chen Siyi would have said the phrase "Easier said than done", but now he couldn't bear to dampen his enthusiasm.

Parents lose after all, and love makes people admit defeat.

Chen Siyi let out a long breath, nodded lightly and said, "Okay, if you can go abroad with your own efforts, I will support you." But she immediately added, "Anyway, the college entrance examination is the most important thing."

"Okay." Once Xu Zihang said it, he couldn't wait to do it, "Then I'll go and see the plane ticket back to school tonight!"

"Wait." Chen Siyi put the plan aside, pursed his lips, "You haven't answered the question I asked this morning. Does Yao Ge's mother know about it?"

Xu Zihang's back was stiff, and the emotions that had just been high were down again, and he replied in a low voice without confidence: "I know."

Seeing him like this, Chen Siyi and Xu Xingqiang knew it.

Before Xu Zihang went out, he hesitated to speak. He could see Chen Siyi's red nose and Xu Xingqiang's haggard eyes clearly. Thinking of what Yang Yiwen said to him at that time, Xu Zihang couldn't help asking: "Will you blame me? Will you feel ashamed of me?" ?"

This sentence made Chen Siyi almost burst into tears in front of him again, she forced a smile and said: "What are you talking about, there is no shame in it."

"Look at you, you said you were going to the United States to make your mother cry, I managed to coax you, please don't make trouble for me." Xu Xingqiang waved his hand at Xu Zihang, "Go back to your room, didn't you plan everything Already? I'll read some books later, and I'll start preparing lunch right away."

Xu Zihang let out an "oh", quickly shifted his gaze to the ground, and closed the door behind him when he exited.

As soon as Xu Zihang went out, the feeling of being overwhelmed returned, and the two of them looked at each other silently for a long time.Chen Siyi looked at the plan on the table, rubbed his forehead irritably, and asked Xu Xingqiang: "You said it was a mess. I'll talk to Yang Yiwen another day."

"Zhao Fengnian still contacted me, but he didn't talk about it. They must know but don't want to talk about it. I'm afraid it's not good for you to rush to find her."

"No, what should we do then? Look at your son, he is going to the United States with all his heart, and I have to figure out what's going on." Chen Siyi's mood was ups and downs throughout the morning, frightened, distressed, worried, and sad. The rest was upset, "What can you talk to high school students, he won't listen to what you say. There are some things that we adults can talk about."

"Okay." Xu Xingqiang had no objection to this, "Anyway, regardless of whether Xu Zihang goes abroad or not, they must not let them look at the house, or I will feel sorry."