deep hypnosis

Yi Yang thought that the busyness of the past six months was a spiral upward trend, and he was steadily moving towards an ideal life.Until now, seeing this face, all the most horrific, most unbearable, and filthiest memories buried in the grave all came back to life, scrambling to grab his ankles and bite his body, Drag him into the darkness of the past.

He stared at the photo, his eyes trembling with his hands, something collapsed and collapsed from his face.It wasn't until someone called his name that Yi Yang came back to his senses, and found that he was actually holding the ipad in his hand, and Xiao Mu stood in front of him with a worried face, and Cheng Yan next to him was nervously holding his mobile phone, as if he was ready to call the ambulance at any time Telephone.

Yi Yang hurriedly returned the ipad to its owner, said sorry, and hurried to the tea room at the back.

He seemed to screw things up again, in this momentous moment.The long interval between seeing the text with the eyes and understanding it with the brain seems to be lost in the cracks of time—he lost his memory again, not sure what he said and did during that time, whether Xiao Mu and Cheng Yan felt embarrassed.What's worse, this kind of fear and despair of losing himself is like a finger, gently pushing, turning all the hopes about the future that he spent so much time piling up into ruins.

"Yi Yang, are you alright?" Cheng Yan who came after him hastily pressed him to sit down and poured him a cup of hot water.

"I'm fine." Yi Yang took a sip of hot water, "I'm sorry, just take a rest, you go take care of the guests!"

"There's Xiao Mu!" Cheng Yan sat across from Yi Yang, as if he was a caregiver.

Yi Yang felt grateful and at the same time felt a little frustrated. He was clearly Cheng Yan's consultant before, but now he needs Cheng Yan to carefully take care of his feelings.

"What did I just do?"

"You just took the ipad and looked at it for a while." After Cheng Yan confirmed that Yi Yang was still in good condition, he finally breathed a sigh of relief, "But your expression at that time was a bit..."

In fact, even if Cheng Yan didn't say anything, Yi Yang could guess how ferocious his own expression was just now.His illness was like a catharsis like a flood breaking a bank, paralyzing his consciousness and releasing the pain accumulated over the years. It must be a look that he himself did not want to witness.

"I just saw his picture suddenly, and I feel a little uncomfortable."

The news just now appeared in his mind - "crime of intentional injury", "several stabbing", "life is in danger"... These words and sentences are linked together to form a shocking fact, crushing Yi Yang's heart .

"what on earth is it?"

"I don't know either. If you go out earlier, they will just check the news when they have nothing to do. It's just a coincidence." Cheng Yan always felt very embarrassed when he said this, fearing that Yi Yang would be stimulated again, he hurriedly changed the subject. , "However, they deserve what they deserve."

Did you deserve it?

It seems to be too.

For some unknown reason, Xie Yu stabbed Fang Shuo more than a dozen times, Fang Shuo's life was in danger, and Xie Jintian was bound to be imprisoned, and even paid the price with his life for his life.After many years, this pair of collusion and entanglement finally died together in a tragic way.This ending, which seems to be an eye-opener from God, is certainly a happy ending, but Yi Yang doesn't feel very happy, even though he has personally killed Xie Jintian countless times in the illusion, and he also hates Fang Shuo who bought his mother with money to shoot those unbearable videos However, when he foresees the bleakness of the rest of their lives, he is only relieved. After all, those who have passed away will never come back.

After experiencing these ups and downs, his heart was like a fully inflated and deflated balloon, hanging limply on his chest, dull and numb, so that his perception of beauty and his hatred of ugliness were greatly affected. weaken.He doesn't want to get to the bottom of what happened. This may be a conditioned self-protection. He needs time to digest the past and heal the wound. His feelings have been depleted to the point of drying up, and there is no more to share. He hates it deeply. people.

Yi Yang, who returned to the hall, apologized again to the owner of the ipad who was startled by his expression calmly, and then went to the kitchen to make afternoon snacks with the invited chef.Although Xiao Mu and Cheng Yan looked fine on the surface, they were still worried about his condition in words, and politely told him to stop work early.Yi Yang didn't want to argue for himself anymore, he was indeed a little tired after working for a long time, so he cleaned up the kitchen early and left.

Their storefront is only two stops away from Yi Yangxin's rented house.Yi Yang doesn't like waiting for a long time for the bus, and would rather walk back.As I walked, I thought of the black cat painted on the signature of the flower basket.That card, like a thread on a poorly made garment, loosens the piping with a slight twitch, which is irritating.

He didn't want to guess who it was, and no matter who it was, the lingering presence made him feel annoyed.He has already made his words clear, and he is determined to break with the past, so why bother to pester him endlessly, reminding him that starting over now is just to hide his flaws?

Just as he was thinking, a strange intuition suddenly made him stop in his tracks.Yi Yang looked around blankly, wondering if he was too sensitive, for a moment just now, he felt a gaze fixed on him, which made him shudder.

During the time when he stopped taking the medicine, he often felt that everyone on the road looked at him with malicious eyes, and those prying eyes were intertwined and stuck to him like cobwebs, and he couldn't get rid of them.But now he is taking the medicine according to the doctor's advice every day, why does he still have this kind of symptom similar to the delusion of being persecuted?

I hope he's just overthinking.

If he lost control again, he might not be able to overthrow everything as desperately as he is now.In the past, he always tried his best to give clients hope after empathy, because he could deeply understand the pain of not being able to control himself.Only those who have experienced it know that when you are completely immersed in a negative state of mind, any words of encouragement are like shouting towards the bottom of the valley from a distant height.

Yi Yang couldn't help speeding up his pace, as if he could get rid of the disgusting parts of his body, but after all, they followed him like a shadow, dormant every night when he was defenseless, making him sleepless.

When Yi Yang dragged his exhausted body to the door of the restaurant early the next morning, he saw a man waiting there.

Yi Yang is used to walking with his head down, so when he found the pair of dusty leather shoes, it was too late.

His already gray temples were bleak by the autumn wind, and his face was covered with signs of vicissitudes of life, as if he was ten years older than when we met last time.At this moment, the body that was considered tough was also so thin that it was crumbling, revealing a scene of the next world.

"I found out that you are here." Yu Qian said with difficulty, as if he wanted to smile, "Can you say a few words? Then leave."

Yi Yang's left hand began to tremble slightly. Since taking the medicine again, whenever he encounters such an event beyond his emotional tolerance, he will appear in this situation.In fact, he knew that it was impossible for him to hide his whereabouts for a long time. He did not completely disappear from this world. Yesterday, so many people posted the situation of the store to Moments, and anyone who wanted to find him would definitely find him.But the last thing he wants to see, other than Xie's father and son, is this spiritual mentor whom he once obeyed.

To some extent, Yu Qian is more unforgivable than Xie Yu.At least Xie Yu has always been so blatantly dirty in front of him, but Yu Qian appeared like a loving father, filling the vacancy in his heart, solving his problems, and pulling him out of Xie Jintian's hypnotic trap. Pull it out.But what I didn't expect was that such an important character in his spiritual world, maybe he was listening to his pain one second, and then told everything he poured out to the culprit who hurt him deeply culprit.

It can be said that Yi Yang's illness this time was entirely due to Yu Qian's deceit. The excitement brought about by Xie Yu who suddenly appeared in front of him and kept saying that he wanted to atone for his sins was far less than the harm caused to him by Yu Qian who was in collusion with Xie Yu. For deep.The instant collapse of the spiritual pillar made it difficult for Yi Yang, who was already in poor condition, to be completely driven into a desperate situation, becoming a time bomb that required life-long medication.

It is such an instigator, but at this moment, he still dares to stand in front of him and chat with him in a "sensible dialogue" attitude.

Yi Yang can almost guess what he wants to say, it's nothing more than regret and apology, he didn't do it on purpose, Yi Yang's illness is not the result he wants to see, he also has sincere moments, just He has his own difficulties and hopes to be understood and forgiven.

"No matter what you say, I will never forgive you." Yi Yang tried his best to suppress the negative emotions in his body that tried to dominate his consciousness, "Don't mention that man to me, I wish you all..."

In the end, Yi Yang didn't finish the second half of the harsh words.Yi Chenggang educated him since he was a child. This way of speaking is vulgar and uneducated. He hoped that his son would become a well-educated scholar, but because of his consistent depression, Yi Yang couldn't even do it himself.He is always considerate and sensible for others, but how many people really care about his feelings and understand his sacrifice?

Thinking in this way, Yi Yang quietly held the trembling hand behind him with his right hand, so as not to punch it impulsively.

"I'm sorry..." Yu Qian's wrinkles piled up on his face, as if his body looked baggy because of his thinness, and it didn't fit him very well: "I was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer last month, and it has spread. The savings of my wife and I I was deceived by an acquaintance... If I don't come to see you again, I'm afraid I won't have a chance."