small thoughts

After returning from the farm, Di Bai couldn't sleep well for many days. He always dreamed about the unbearable youthful pain in the past. When Zhao Yile let go of his hand and left alone, when his father screamed at him When he was yelling, when he hid in his mother's arms in fear and grieved silently, he would wake up in the middle of the night, clutching his chest and gasping for breath.

"It's not a good thing to dream about that trauma. It's God warning me and telling me not to make the same mistake again."

Di Bai sounded the alarm in his heart, but he was still restless.

This subtle negative influence gradually spread to work.

"Hey, Di Bai, you made a mistake again. What's wrong with you? I've never seen you make such a low-level mistake. If this is officially published and read by your superiors, you should stop doing it."

"Uh, sorry, I'll pay attention next time..."

This phenomenon of constantly apologizing because of frequent mistakes at work happens every day.

After returning home from a day of exhaustion, Di Bai fell headlong on the bed, feeling powerless. He just wanted to sleep until the next night, but when he looked up, he saw the desk calendar on the table, and it was there before he knew it. It's time for Yang Keyan to reply.

Let yourself calm down first, Di Bai thought so.He was covering his heart with his hands, and his heart was beating so fast. What does this mean?Whenever I met Dr. Yang Keyan, I would be nervous, and his every move would not make me feel annoying. It is very happy to be with him, isn't it?When I was on the farm, I felt at ease with him by my side, what was that?That night, when he hugged him, he seemed to have a slight heartbeat. If he hated him, shouldn't he be pushed away immediately?But I didn't push it away, but blushed... Could it be that I already liked Dr. Yang Keyan inadvertently?But what exactly does Dr. Yang Keyan like about him? He is a man. Could it be that Dr. Yang Keyan... doesn't look like him, he is so good, he looks calm and quiet from the inside out, and his whole body The worst can't be worse, I don't deserve to associate with Dr. Yang Keyan at all, will it make me feel better when I think about it this way?By the way, there has been no contact in the past few days, and he does not call or send messages to himself. He has not seen Dr. Yang Keyan for several days. Is it because he has not seen Dr. Yang Keyan that he is inherently anxious because he has made so many mistakes in the past few days? ...

The more he thought about it, the more chaotic his mind became, and his eyelids became more and more heavy. Di Bai fell asleep in a daze with his thoughts constantly being cut and chaotic.When I woke up, it was foggy and rainy outside.Looking at the continuous rain chain, he deeply felt that today is destined to not be so easy to pass.

Yang Keyan looked at the summary of today's work, and he has completed everything that needs to be done, and he can arrive at the place agreed with Di Bai on time at [-] o'clock.

"Doctor Yang Keyan, it's time for the last ward round today."

"Okay, here we come."

After this round of ward rounds is over, you can leave work. Yang Keyan breathed a sigh of relief and walked towards the ward.

Time is like a pair of never-ending feet, pattering around and around, and now only Di Bai is left in the office.He rubbed his hands uneasily, and looked at his watch every minute. Although he knew that he had to give an answer today, his legs seemed to be filled with lead, and he couldn't move an inch.

"Should I go or not... If I go and meet Dr. Yang, can I refuse him? If I agree, I will definitely be criticized again. I don't care anymore, but I can't let Yang The doctor also fell into that situation. He is so good and perfect. There can be no stains on his body, not at all. Besides, Nurse Xu said that he is about to be nominated as an associate professor. If people find out that his private life is not good, they will Let him lose this opportunity, it will ruin him, I can't do this, then... I'd better not go, so that he can continue his normal life, return to the life before he met me, so That's the best thing, I shouldn't have appeared..."

Every time Di Bai thinks wildly, he always thinks things in the worst direction. Whether it is his own fault or not, he will finally push the responsibility on himself.Di Bai, who is now in a mess of thoughts, was pulled back by the sudden ringtone of his mobile phone. He saw that the caller was Yang Keyan, and he didn't know whether to answer it in a hurry. His fingers were touching the call button but he refused to press it. It also popped up out of nowhere, but with a slip of the hand, the phone fell into the water tank at Di Bai's feet, and when it was picked up, the screen was already black.

"What to do, what to do, is Dr. Yang anxious if he can't get through to my call, or does he think I won't answer his call?" Di Bai was a little anxious, he was afraid that Yang Keyan might misunderstand something.

"No, there is nothing I don't want to pick up, I don't hate him, I don't want to live without him."

The time is now pointing to a quarter past seven.Di Bai immediately picked up his things and ran outside. The rain was getting heavier and heavier. Di Bai was searching for empty cars on the street in the rain. He kept waving, but none of them stopped. He kept wiping his forehead anxiously.

At this moment, he truly admitted his feelings for Yang Keyan from the bottom of his heart. He likes Yang Keyan, and he loves Yang Keyan more than ever.

Finally, a kind driver stopped the car in front of him, and after getting in the car, Di Bai asked the driver to drive as fast as possible.The traffic jam was very serious in rainy days, and the horns of the vehicles seemed to be shouting "Hurry up, hurry up", which made Di Bai's heart beat suddenly, and it was already [-]:[-].

"Mr. Driver, it has been stuck in traffic for a long time. Has anything happened ahead?"

"Hey, the front is already blocked, and we can't go through it at all. You see, martial law has begun around you, and this road is impassable. It must be diverted."

Di Bai wiped away the fog from the car window with his hand and looked outside. The whole road was full of traffic that stopped moving forward, and some traffic policemen were guiding the vehicles to divert. Trends, car horns, police whistles, and people's voices added flavor to the heavy rain.

"How long will it take to change the course?"

"That's impossible to say..."

It was exactly [-]:[-] when Yang Keyan arrived at the restaurant. Today, the restaurant seemed to have a different temperament and began to play ancient songs.

In fact, he was very uncertain, because Di Bai's cell phone was turned off just now, so he was not sure about this matter, and he still hadn't fully guessed Di Bai's thoughts.But it was useless to think too much, he pinched the inner corner of his eye with one hand, trying to keep himself awake.At [-] o'clock soon, Di Bai should come.

Even if he thought so, Di Bai still didn't come after two ancient songs had been played in the restaurant.It was already [-]:[-], and it was raining and cool today, but Yang Keyan asked the shopkeeper for a fan.

"Ah, Doctor Yang, I have found you. Hurry up, come with me. The patient in bed No. [-] has a sudden increase in blood pressure, and his consciousness is blurred. Mr. Chen immediately asked you to go back for surgery assistance. Come with me."

Yang Keyan didn't wait for Di Bai to come, but saw Xu Ran rushing out and pulling him to leave.

"How could this be? It was fine during the ward round just now."

"I'll tell you the details on the way, hurry up."

"But...I..."

"Come on."

Yang Keyan was hurriedly pulled away by Xu Ranxin, just as the third piece of ancient music had finished playing.When Di Bai ran into the restaurant in a mess, he didn't see the person he wanted to see.

"Could it be that you didn't come? Or was something delayed? Or is my watch broken, and it's not even eight o'clock?"

Di Bai was thinking about all kinds of possibilities. There was no one in the restaurant, so he immediately ran out of the restaurant to look around for Yang Keyan. The umbrella in his hand instantly became an eyesore. He threw away the umbrella, but the rain was too heavy , the rain blurred his vision, and he wiped the rain from his eyes over and over again, so that he could see Yang Keyan clearly, but he couldn't see it no matter how much he wiped.

People come and go, but there is no one I want to see.

"Doctor Yang must have thought that I didn't want to be with him, so he left. He thought I rejected him, so he left..."

Di Bai felt that he had no more strength in his body, his heart was empty, and he could no longer breathe normally...

"Does this mean that we shouldn't be together..."