what ever

In the morning, the doctor opened the door of the psychological clinic on time, waiting for the arrival of new customers.It's just that today, he seems to be absent-minded. Fortunately, there are no patients yet, otherwise it is really unbelievable that psychotherapy can be given in his current state.A doctor's first impression of a patient in a psychological clinic can largely determine the success or failure of treatment.

The assistant made him a cup of coffee, and cared for the doctor by the way: "Doctor, refresh yourself."

The doctor expressed his gratitude to the assistant for his kindness. He said, "I'm just a little worried about a person. You know him too. That's the one who often asks me out."

"Oh, I know, he's a well-known anchor, right?" The assistant is a young girl who usually likes to watch the anchor programs on the website, and has some impressions, "Is the net name called Wang Ziqing?"

The doctor nodded and said, "I'm worried about him. I've been friends with him for so many years."

"How often do you meet?"

"Occasionally, occasionally he asks me to eat at a steak restaurant when he needs it. I have eaten at that restaurant for many years." The doctor smiled, and the way Wang Ziqing asked him out made people feel helpless and want to laugh.

"I'm worried about him. Although his mental problems are not serious, he just can't make people feel at ease."

At this time, there was no one around, so the doctor chatted with his assistant, and he had countless things to say about Wang Ziqing.

"It's been a few years since I got sick last time, and I have been taking medicine to suppress it these years. Sometimes I have no money to buy medicine or forget to buy medicine, but they are all within the scope of the medicine. It is the medicine that I asked for this time. It's a little special, I'm afraid he'll get sick again."

The assistant frowned, thinking that the doctor's approach was a bit contradictory. He didn't prescribe new medicine to the patient rashly, and asked, "Then you give him back the medicine?"

The doctor shook his head with a wry smile, and said, "There are some things that the doctor can't decide, and I can't control him."

The assistant nodded in understanding.In reality, there are many patients who would rather die than continue treatment. At this time, doctors can only follow suit and even provide help to reduce the suffering of patients.The assistant nodded slightly, she didn't think this analogy seemed appropriate.

"What he suffers from is not just mental illness, but heart disease." The doctor sighed slowly again. The doctor seemed to have not finished speaking. He should have forgotten this patient, but this person is so unforgettable.

The assistant only listened to what the doctor said as a story.

"He is gay. I heard that when he was in high school, he dropped out of school and entered a mental hospital for treatment. At that time, homosexuality was treated very cruelly. He had been hospitalized for almost a year when the state approved that homosexuality should not be regarded as a mental illness."

"I remember that one of the treatments for homosexuality is electric shock?"

The doctor nodded and took a sip of coffee, just like a storyteller under the flyover drank water specially to increase the audience's appetite.

"This method will leave a deep psychological shadow on people, not to mention that he was still a minor at the time, so when he was able to go out, he was really found to be suffering from schizophrenia."

"It's really a trick of luck." The assistant commented briefly.

"I have been to that mental hospital. The conditions are really bad. It is said that there have been cases of beating patients in the past. Mental patients are a group neglected by society, including their families. He was discharged within a few years. I heard that It was because his family members thought it would cost money and didn’t want to treat him, so they discharged him from the hospital while his condition was getting better.” The doctor was about to finish speaking, and drank the coffee, but after thinking about it, he added, “Say Indeed, I saw him before he was discharged from the hospital, and his physical and mental condition is not good."

He is a 20-year-old adult, but he still feels like a child, not only his figure and shape, but also his expression and eyes, which give people a feeling of pampering.

As for what happened later, although the doctors knew a lot, they still didn't say anything about it, including how they met, how they were treated over the years, and so on.

The assistants were not very interested either. After all, most of the people with psychological problems had sympathetic encounters. If they knew everything about them, they would not have to eat.

For Wang Ziqing, stop here.

Wang Ziqing woke up early in the morning, and he rarely got up so early in his usual day and night life, and sometimes he even fell asleep at this time.

Wang Ziqing stayed in a large free hotel room and surfed the Internet. The unfamiliar environment did not make him feel uncomfortable at all, but made him inexplicably at ease.Falling asleep on the bed that has never been changed in his heart is disturbing.

Boss Yang will help him, he knows this, and Boss Yang will help him out of fear and guilt.

Wang Ziqing dried some warm water to drink, this is his living habit, he has stomach problems, he can't eat raw or cold food, let alone drink alcohol, otherwise his stomach will feel like overwhelming pain.

Seeing Guo Ming this time, he made a big decision, and the process took 13 years.

He left Guo Ming on his own initiative, and then Guo Ming found his fiancée in despair; he never asked for a resurrection, that was impossible.

He won't cry, because he has already cried and hurt, but his pain has not been known by the person who should know it most.There was no misunderstanding between them, it was just that they loved each other and finally separated. If there is anything in between, it is just the malice of this society towards homosexuality.

In Wang Ziqing's dreams, there is often Guo Ming's figure, and his obsession with Guo Ming cannot be explained clearly in a few words.

Time is not ruthless, it will make some pure things impure, such as childlike innocence, such as love.

This feeling cannot be called satisfaction.

He dreamed that he was back under that street lamp again, the location was wrong, and he couldn't be downstairs from his house.The time is wrong, it can't be at the time when the parents come home.It was wrong, they shouldn't have kissed, or they should have actually kissed.The words are wrong, he should not say that he should consider, he should say that I like you.

It would be great if these mistakes could indeed be corrected.Wang Ziqing thought this way more than once. He thought about this impossible "if" every day, thinking more than thinking about Guo Ming.

The story after that is unspeakable, but it is clearly recorded in his medical records and anyone can know.

13 years, but it seems like a lifetime; 13 years of persistence exhausted his energy and ruined all his retreats. Even if he didn't want to leave, he didn't have any chance to stop.

Coming to see him this time, in Wang Ziqing's opinion, he came to kill himself.He has no energy, and every time he looks at his own face in the mirror, that numb face, sometimes he fantasizes that Wang Ziqing does not exist at all, Wang Ziqing is just a dream that Wang Ziqing had.His changes made many people feel strange, even himself felt strange!But he still refuses to change the status quo, refuses to accept psychiatric treatment, refuses to live in the sun every chance.

He got sick, and although he had an accurate name, he still liked to call it: "The aftermath of the love between Wang Ziqing and Guo Ming"

All this is because he fell in love with a man named Guo Ming.The cause of all this is Guo Ming and Wang Ziqing, and in the end, a person named Wang Ziqing is responsible for the process and results.

The result has nothing to do with the two of them, it depends on Wang Ziqing.

At this time, Wang Ziqing felt that it was time.Whether it's love or not, it's time to end it.

He's had enough.

The author has something to say:

Some details are explanations for certain actions of Wang Ziqing.

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