【Taizhong】Forbidden Love

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The name of the novel is "City of Trees".

When asked why Oda chose this name, he just said lightly: "There is no special meaning, I just call it this when I think of it."

Osamu Dazai stopped talking, opened the title page of the book, closed it, and planned to go back and read it carefully.

If it weren't for the sound of music nearby, Osamu Dazai would not have turned his head to look out the window. A white church stood in front of him: serious and admirable.

"Probably someone held a wedding in the church." Oda guessed.

"Well, indeed. I saw it on the way here just now." He lowered his eyes.

"How is the child?"

"He's fine, I'm worried about you. Next time, Kazunaka will bring him out to meet you." Osamu Dazai put away the book and carried it behind his back, "Okay, Odasaku, congratulations again for publishing your novel."

After the words fell, he silently caught Zhong Yuan's busy figure from the corner of his eye. Just now Zhong Ye was asked to use his ability to help them hang up banners, and the little dwarf naturally did not shirk.As time approached, people appeared at the door one after another.

He quietly exited the scattered crowd without disturbing anyone or anything.

Osamu Dazai walked under the bare branches in autumn and winter. Now as long as he stretches out his hand, his fingertips seem to be able to reach the sun.When he walked into the sun, he would think of Chuya Nakahara, just like he would smell the soil when it rained.

The door of the church is open, welcoming every passerby to stop.

The groom holds up the bride's hand as the crowd watches, against a flawless backdrop behind them and the blessed gaze of the priest in front of them.They solemnly swear, the oath is very nasty, at least Osamu Dazai once thought so.Bound your whole life together or something...

The wreath on the bride's head is beautiful, as impeccable as her looks.But she is not good-looking enough, if she has darker hair, bluer eyes, more upturned lips, more delicate nose...she will be called perfect.

The priest announced that they were married, which is probably a terrible thing, which means that they will bear the shackles of marriage, which is very heavy.Then they kiss to the applause, and in the near future they may have one or several cute children, as beautiful as Hideki.The children grew up, they began to age, they quarreled over trivial matters, their hair turned white, and the wrinkles on their faces deepened, so they looked at each other's increasingly ugly faces with disgust.No, maybe they didn't even reach the age of graying temples. Before that, they parted ways and spent the rest of their lives separately.

Isn't marriage such a terrible thing?Why would anyone want to get married?What the oath says are all good expectations and reveries.Why do human beings always make up some beautiful things to deceive their eyes.Life is already rough and long enough, if you want to carry another life on your back, how miserable it would be.

Osamu Dazai seemed out of tune with human emotions for as long as he could remember.Love and being loved were not among all the things he learned from the man who adopted him.Most of the feelings he has seen are cold and superficial, short-lived and harmful to others and himself.Love especially, hurts others and hurts oneself.

The ceremony was over and the people dispersed inside the church.He knew that the priest would leave at the end, so he waited on the last row of seats, putting the novel in his hand beside him.He also got up when the priest came down from the altar with a heavy book in his arms.

The priest is a very temperamental foreign old man, and his Japanese is standard. Before Dazai ruled, he said: "Sir, please stay."

Osamu Dazai didn't intend to leave at all, he walked up to the priest.

"Do you have any doubts, sir?"

"Why do you ask such a question?" Osamu Dazai was humble and polite, with a smile on his face forever, "It's not really a doubt, it's just that I really don't understand it."

"I've noticed you since you came in."

"Really?"

"When everyone sees a new couple getting married, they all showed blessings and envious eyes, but you are different, sir." The priest spoke slowly, "Your eyes are full of confusion, regret, and indifference. However, Not quite."

"I just find it a little ridiculous."

"why?"

"It's just a ceremony. Will they be together forever as promised?" Osamu Dazai closed his eyes, "Forever, so long."

"What do you think, sir?"

"They're just adding to the pain and the annoyance," he said. "I've always felt that way."

"Do you still feel that way?"

"Well, although...maybe not so firm."

"But living itself is a painful thing, and the pain of two people is double pain."

Osamu Dazai smiled slightly, "Is that worth it?"

"Is it worth it..." The priest shook his head, "I don't have an answer to this question, how can I know what will happen in the future."

"Then who will have the answer?"

"The answer, only the person who took the oath will know."

At that moment, Osamu Dazai looked at the elder in silence, only the sound of the wind was in his ears. He remembered the feeling of the sun shining through the branches on his skin just now when he was walking on the road, and remembered that he would see the sun rise tomorrow. All clips with Chung Ye.

He answered softly:

"Ah, I think so."

The door of the church opened, and the sound of hurried footsteps sounded and disappeared.

"Dazai!"

Ah, it was his voice.

The priest looked for the source of the voice, looked ahead and said, "It seems that a new visitor has appeared. Is he here for you?"

Osamu Dazai didn't look back, he moved closer to the priest: "You are the person closest to God, I have a small wish, I wonder if you can grant me."

A smile appeared on the young man's face.

"Are you worried that I will seek death again?" Dazai turned around, facing the person who was coming towards him.

Nakahara Chuya didn't see Dazai in the hall just now, and when he asked Oda and others, they said they didn't notice where he went, so they set out to look for him.His first thought was the neighboring church.However, seeing that person's back, he was somewhat relieved and slowed down unknowingly.

Nakahara took off his hat and bowed to the priest. He didn't forget that this was a church, and the church was a sacred place, so he couldn't lose his etiquette in front of the priest.

So he lowered his voice, "I'm just afraid that the news of the mafia leader's dead body on the street will spread and tarnish the organization's reputation."

"Aren't you still worried about me?" Dazai tilted his head, "Hey, Chuya, I watched half of the wedding just now."

"You are really boring."

"Has Zhongye ever been to a wedding? It's amazing. I saw the two of them swearing oath there."

"so what?"

"I've never done such a boring thing."

"...?"

"I actually kind of want to try it once, and Zhongyue wants to come with me."

"You said it yourself, it's boring," Zhong Yuan only took him as a joke, "Let's go, go back, in a while..."

Omega's voice gradually decreased, because, he saw Osamu Dazai slowly raised the palm of his left hand.The stained glass windows in the church reflected Dazai's face in warm colors, like rose petals on the altar.

"No, bastard, what are you doing...?"

"I, Osamu Dazai, please, Chuya Nakahara, be the only companion in my life."

"what???"

"Hey, hey, what are you doing???"

"I will trust you, respect you, laugh with you, cry with you."

"etc???"

"I will love you faithfully."

"no……"

"Whether the future is good or bad, difficult or easy, I will spend it with you."

"stop……"

"No matter what kind of life I prepare for, I will always guard here.

It's like I'm reaching out for you to hold.

I will surrender my life to you.

Where you die, I will be buried with you.

Maybe God asks me to do more, but no matter what happens, you will be by my side in life and death. "

Nakahara didn't know what Osamu Dazai was doing again.Leaving the venue inexplicably, running to the church inexplicably, and wanting to take an oath here inexplicably.He can't wait to take this beautiful head apart to see what strange things are inside it.

But there is no way.

"Speak to you in advance, I will probably forget the words."

"It's okay." The other party said with a smile.

Nakahara also sighed deeply, took off the glove on his right hand, raised his palm to overlap and touch Osamu Dazai's.

"I, Chuya Nakahara, please, Osamu Dazai...be my only companion in life."

He paused and continued: "I will trust you, respect you, and be with you..." "Laugh and cry with you."

"I will..." "Love you faithfully."

In the church, the priest stood quietly between the two of them, and the streamer in the room stagnated on Zhong Yuan's cheeks, which was indescribably beautiful.

You and I are suddenly asked to swear such an oath, you are very confused.

But you did it anyway.Why is Chuya like this every time, saying that he refuses, but in the end he still does these boring things with me.

Today, I saw a bride put on a wedding dress and swear an oath with her husband in front of a priest.I ignored and wondered at the same time.

At that time, I kept thinking about a sentence you said to me before.

You said, you actually thought we could have a family.

You think that is an incredible thing, in fact, I think so too.

People like you and me... people like you and me...

"I will give my life to you."

"Where you die, I will also be buried there with you."

"Maybe God asks me to do more, but no matter what happens, you will be by my side in life and death."

After taking the oath, he quietly looked at Osamu Dazai, and then looked away: "Satisfied?"

"If you are satisfied..."

Little by little, Dazai's five fingers entered into the gap between Nakahara's five fingers, and finally their hands intertwined, bringing the distance between them a little closer.

"Chuya, after taking the oath, you will be with me for the rest of your life. Will you regret it?"

"..." Zhong Yuan pursed his lips and said after a while, "Are you serious?"

"Chuya really regretted it." Dazai Osamu's long eyelashes flickered, "Okay. Just kidding, including this oath, it's just—"

"You regretted the oath, Dazai." Nakahara Chuya clasped Dazai's hand that was about to withdraw, "You should ask yourself that."

"I didn't." Dazai said softly, "I don't regret it."

"Then I have nothing to regret." The other party answered right after him.

Osamu Dazai took a deep breath and glanced at his father.

I seem to have found the answer.He said.

The gray-haired old man smiled kindly, and he solemnly announced, "I have witnessed your oath with God."

"Sir, you can kiss your partner now."

Under the white dome, an everlasting candle was burning slowly. Their eyes met and their fingers were tightly intertwined, just like the past seven years.

In Zhongye, I often think that one life is enough for a person, there is no past life, no parallel time and space.In that case, you only need to suffer once and for a lifetime.

So I prayed to God just now, if it is really unfortunate, I will live again...

Please let me meet you again.

Who knows what the future holds.

END.