under the filth

Tang Cen was immersed in his own memories, and Eisen pulled him to stand at the intersection. The unusual behavior of the two attracted the surprised eyes of passers-by.

The eyes cast on his body crossed, making Eisen uncomfortable. He sighed and shook Tang Cen's hand lightly when the fourth green light came on.They have been staying here for a long time, and the phone in Eisen's pocket has vibrated several times. It should be a message from the pet hospital.

Trapped in memories, Tang Cen was brought back to reality by a not-so-strong shaking, and he looked up at the instigator: "What's wrong?"

"It's time to pick up Opera Chow." The green light in front of him began to flash, and Eisen dragged Tang Cen across the road at a trot.

After crossing the road, there was another unimpeded road ahead. The two held hands and continued to walk towards the pet hospital.However, the two people who had their own concerns never had any conversations along the way, and this topic came to an abrupt end.

When he walked to the intersection in front of the pet hospital, Eisen suddenly asked, "Do you still think that way now?"

Eisen knew that Tang Cen didn't like to mention these things, but he was always worried.Eisen could tell that he was planning their future, but Tang Cen kept avoiding it, and the uneasiness accumulated for several months finally reached the brink of explosion.

"Does being with me make you unhappy?"

"Why do you keep wanting to leave me?"

Eisen threw out a series of questions, and suddenly felt a sense of relief in his heart.Along the way, he endured and endured, and swallowed his words a few times. He originally wanted to let it go, but after having a serious talk with Raymond, Eisen found that the problems between them were actually not the same. It's not resolved, it's just being selectively ignored.

The inner anxiety was magnified, maybe this was Tang Cen's feeling at the beginning.Eisen struggled for a long time, and finally decided to ask.

He has always been the one who used to Tang Cen, and let him be willful once in a while, after all, he just wanted an answer.

Hearing the question Eisen asked, Tang Cen was stunned, and it took him a long time to realize what he was talking about.But he kept silent, and never gave Eisen a definite answer. Even if Eisen personally asked him for a promise, Tang Cen still couldn't give him the answer he wanted.

In this relationship, Eisen has always been the one who took the initiative to make the promise, and he himself is always the one who is uneasy, but today the roles of the two are completely reversed.

It turned out that Eisen would be afraid too.

Aisen's voice trembled slightly, standing beside him, Tang Cen could hear it clearly.The slight trembling made Tang Cen almost blurt out the lie, but when he was about to utter the first sound, he bit his lower lip, and those words were squeezed in his throat.

Biting his lower lip hard, Tang Cen restrained his emotions before speaking: "I don't want to keep saying these frustrating words to pour cold water on you, but you know that I can't promise you anything right now."

Tang Cen didn't want to prevaricate Eisen with lies against his will, no matter what answer he gave, Eisen would believe him.In the current situation, maybe using lies to comfort him is the best choice, but even a flimsy promise is false, so what right does he have to wear the ring Eisen gave him on his finger.

The hand he was holding shook slightly, Eisen's normally warm palm suddenly lost its temperature, and Tang Cen touched his cold fingertips.

The coldness was within reach, and Tang Cen felt his heartbeat and breathing suddenly become chaotic.

"I... don't know what a normal family is like, or how to get along with each other, so at least wait until I meet your eldest brother, and then I'll give you an answer."

"Give me a little more time, can you?" Tang Cen tried his best not to sound so weird, but uncontrollable fear spread in his heart.

Will Eisen leave him?Tang Cen was obviously the one who had been running away, but when the crisis arose, he was afraid that Eisen would leave first.

He is always alone, and has never seen how other peers get along with family members in these years, and he has never even had the experience of going to a classmate or friend's house to play.He has only heard it and watched it in film and television works, but what he hears and what he sees are always different from the truth.

Even if Eisen kept comforting him, even if he could see what his family was like, Tang Cen couldn't convince himself, he never had such confidence.Just like now, even those who keep saying they love him and are willing to tolerate him will have the day when their patience will run out and they will choose to leave.

Just when Tang Cen fell into unreasonable worries and his nerves were tense, Eisen suddenly broke free from the hands he had been holding.The palms that were tightly pressed were suddenly exposed to the air, and the chill from the cold wind seeped into the skin along the lines of the palms, making Tang Cen shiver.

Countless bad thoughts flashed through Tang Cen's mind, but in the next second, a heavy object with a familiar aura fell from his shoulders.

"It's okay, I can wait. I've been waiting for so many years. It's not a year away." Eisen put his shoulders on him, took him into his arms, and walked all the way to the door of the pet hospital maintaining this posture.

Sure enough, such a request was still too reluctant for Tang Cen, and it didn't matter if he couldn't make a promise. They could at least talk properly now. He was able to fulfill the request he made to Tang Cen at the beginning, and everything turned around.

Eisen breathed a sigh of relief, and walked all the way to the glass door of the hospital before letting Tang Cen go, and opened the glass door: "Let's go in and pick up Opera Cen."

That nonchalant appearance, as if the person who asked for the answer before was not him.Tang Cen followed Eisen into the hospital. He stood in the rest area and waited, watching Eisen communicate with the medical staff who were in charge of performing a physical examination on Opera Cura.

He didn't want to meet Aisen's parents, and he didn't plan for their future. Tang Cen knew that he was bad, but he didn't dare to think about it.

Tang Cen kept a lot of things in his heart, one after another, but he couldn't finish talking about that night of drinking to build his courage.He didn't tell anyone, but Tang Songyuan led him to several receptions during the time when he returned to China for an internship during the university vacation.

In name, it was to help him get acquainted with contacts in the business field, but they kept introducing him to the daughters of those people secretly.Tang Cen understood what his father meant, but when he looked at the women pushing glasses and complimenting each other in front of him, he suddenly remembered the wedding he attended when he was a child.

On the night of the last reception, Tang Cen, who smelled of alcohol, didn't talk to Lu Sheng who was far away in the UK, and fell asleep after a hasty shower, and woke up suddenly at three o'clock in the middle of the night.

Tang Cen had a dream, a nightmare, among the countless nightmares he had, he had the clearest memory.

He dreamed that he was married. At the wedding, he saw his father's smile for a long time, but couldn't see clearly the face of his wife who was standing in front of him exchanging rings with him.He heard the emcee's voice, telling him that he could kiss his wife now, but there was a blank face in front of him, Tang Cen turned to look at his father, and saw his eyes looking at him.

Amidst loud cheers, Tang Cen kissed his wife.At the moment he kissed, the scene in the dream changed again. His slender wife spoke to herself in a gentle voice with a blank face, while the daughter who was in his arms looked up. When he was there, it was also a blank face.

Tang Cen heard laughter, the wife and daughter in the dream seemed to be laughing, but the laughter reached his ears, and it was horrifying.He wanted to escape from that place, but when he turned around, he saw his father's satisfied smile.

In the dream, he was frightened into a cold sweat, and Tang Cen tossed and turned on the bed after waking up, unable to fall back to sleep most of the night.The scenes in the dream kept replaying in his mind, the blank face, without any facial features, but speaking soft words...

Tang Cen thought of those women at the banquet. He tried to find the wife of his dreams from those faces, but he couldn't find that person. could be his wife.

At that time Tang Cen suddenly realized what kind of him his father was satisfied with.But at that time, he had already fallen in love with the same sex. He slept with men, accepted their love and kindness, and used these to completely break away from the Tang family.

He won't kiss his wife in front of anyone, he won't have kids, and that nightmare will never become a reality.

But after that, no matter who Tang Cen was dating, he still didn't dare to think about it, and he didn't dare to tell anyone.

After all, that nightmare was an indelible memory. Tang Cen had too many nightmares, but this was the only memory that was so strong and clear that it even severely burned his nerves.

"Let's go." Eisen's voice recalled Tang Cen's wandering thoughts. He responded in a low voice, and took Opera Chow, who had been "ravaged" by the doctor all morning, from Eisen, and the two followed the same path. Walked home slowly.

After buying the ingredients for dinner, the two of them and the cat finally returned home when the sky began to darken.

Eisen put the things in his hand into the kitchen, and Tang Cen let Opera Chow out of the cat bag.Opera Chow, who had been hungry for a long time, trotted towards Eisen as soon as she took out the cat bag. It squatted next to Eisen and yelled "meow" twice, and Eisen couldn't help touching it in such a coquettish tone. head of.

Opera Cura enjoyed two caresses from Eisen, then suddenly tilted her head and opened her mouth, quickly biting towards Eisen's tiger's mouth.

When Opera Clay opened his mouth, Eisen sensed the danger, and quickly withdrew his hand. His cold teeth grazed the back of his hand, and he gasped: "Hiss—it's quite vengeful!"

"Let me take a look." Hearing Eisen's gasp, Tang Cen hurriedly dropped the things in his hand and ran into the kitchen, raised his hand to have a closer look.Opera Chow didn't bite hard enough, but Eisen dodged again, leaving only two shallow dents and a string of wet saliva on the back of his hand.

Although Opera Cun was usually naughty, this was the first time she bit someone with her mouth. It was said that neutered cats would hold grudges. Tang Cen couldn't help worrying about their future lives.

Seeing his slightly frowning eyebrows, Eisen couldn't help raising his hand to caress his side face, rubbed his thumb between his brows, trying to smooth his frowning eyebrows: "It's okay, it didn't use force."

Tang Cen held Eisen's hand and wiped away the saliva left by the kitten on it with his sleeve.His fingers stroked back and forth the two small dents left by Opera Chow's teeth. Under Eisen's puzzled gaze, Tang Cen slowly lowered his head, and gently kissed Eisen's hand covered by Opera Chow. bitten.

"Tang Cen?" Aisen witnessed the whole process, Tang Cen's breath swept over the back of his hand, like soft feathers caressing, his skin trembled for a while.

Tang Cen, who realized what he had done belatedly, was taken aback by his actions, and he hesitated to explain: "Su...suddenly, I really want to kiss you."

Tang Cen's skin was red from his neck to the back of his ears. Eisen felt that his tailbone was a little numb. He lowered his head slightly, leaned in front of Tang Cen, and kissed him lightly on the corner of his lips: "Kiss here."

A dragonfly touches the water, but it disturbs a pool of spring water.

Tang Cen closed his eyes, but his breathing became messy.

Don't think about anything, all he needs to do now is kiss the man he loves so much, and remember his appearance.