under the filth

The afternoon sun shone into the room through the gaps between the heavy curtains, and fell on the messy double bed, printing irregular golden ripples on the dark velvet quilt.The tail of the golden light landed impartially on the face of Tang Cen who was curled up on the bed, and the slightly scorching sun quickly woke him up from his deep sleep.

As soon as Tang Cen opened his eyes, he was squinted by the dazzling sunlight.I don't know what time it is now, and the sun is so glaring. Judging from the angle of the light coming in, Tang Cen estimated that it should be after two o'clock in the afternoon.

Kicking off the quilt wrapped around his body, Tang Cen moved to a place where the sun could not reach his eyes.

It was late, and Tang Cen didn't want to wake up after missing breakfast and lunch.His head is dizzy now, and he has no strength in his body.

Although the alcohol content of the wine was not high, and he would not be so drunk after drinking half a bottle with his drinking capacity, but the sequelae of drunkenness continued until now.

Tang Cen lay on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, and was in a daze for a while before his dull brain started working again.

The remaining memories in the brain are mixed with a lot of strange things, like bubbling boiling water, and abstract color blocks, but Tang Cen can barely piece together from these scattered memories last night. content of the conversation.

As the saying goes, wine is strong and cowardly. Tang Cen knew that he was very timid and needed to get drunk to communicate with Eisen, so he got himself drunk recklessly.But after getting drunk, his brain began to lose control of his body. What he thought was one thing, but what he actually said was another.

Tang Cen didn't know whether it was more embarrassing to be confused and unable to speak clearly, or worse to speak ill of Eisen, but his crying appearance must be ugly.

It sucks.Tang Cen covered his face with his hands, rubbed it hard twice, and let out a small moan.

As time passed, the sunlight slowly climbed up towards Tang Cen's face.Feeling the faint temperature, Tang Cen grabbed the quilt and covered his face, hiding the expressions and weak emotions on his face in the darkness.

Tang Cen's movements were very light, and the rustling of the quilt against the fabric was very clear in the quiet room, which alarmed Eisen outside the room.

Eisen walked into the bedroom with a water glass in his hand, looked at Tang Cen who was curled up on the bed, the corners of his mouth slightly curled up.He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off the quilt covering Tang Cen's face, "Are you awake?"

After tossing and tossing for several days, Tang Cen's complexion has not been very good, and he just woke up from sleep with a bit haggard and tired, and his eyes are slightly swollen from crying.

"Is there any discomfort?" Eisen said, stretching out his hand to feel the temperature of Tang Cen's forehead, when his finger was about to touch the pale skin, Tang Cen shrank back suddenly as if startled, and avoided it his hand.

That was Tang Cen's subconscious reaction. The next second he dodged, he immediately reacted. His body froze for a moment, and he abruptly stopped the movement of retracting.

Tang Cen looked at the hand hanging in front of him, his body hidden under the quilt slowly moved back, and took the initiative to stick to Aisen's hand.He pulled up the quilt to hide the expression on his face, and said vaguely, "Sorry."

Before Tang Cen woke up, Aisen was always worried. He was afraid that Tang Cen would not remember anything when he woke up, and everything would go back to the original point, but now the cool touch on his hands and Tang Cen's movements made Aisen completely relieved.

Eisen leaned over and picked Tang Cen up from the quilt, kissed his forehead, "I thought you would forget it when you woke up."

A superficial kiss on the forehead, gentle without a hint of charm, Tang Cen touched the place where Aisen had kissed, and said with some embarrassment: "I'm not used to it yet."

I haven't gotten used to approaching him proactively, and getting used to being intimate with him.

"It's okay, we still have time." Eisen pinned his too long hair behind his ears, rubbing his fingertips against his delicate and soft skin.

Having struggled alone in pain for half his life, the ordinary life now is more like an illusory dream to Tang Cen.This dream was full of pain and joy, while Tang Cen was dreaming a sweet dream, he was worried at the same time, afraid of waking up from the dream, or a sudden nightmare.

Maybe the nightmare will never come, but living in the illusory dream, there will always be a day when he wakes up. Tang Cen is afraid that when he wakes up from the dream, he will repeat the same mistakes and fall into the same pain.

Tang Cen kept wandering around the edge, ready to retract into his protective shell at any time, but Eisen said that they still had time.When he was panicking, Eisen was planning their future. Such a big gap made him more and more cowardly and cowardly.

His heart was throbbing, and Tang Cen was once again enveloped in negative emotions, self-blame surrounded him, and guilt swallowed him up.

"sorry."

Tang Cen hugged his knees, and his eyes fell on Aisen's hands. He didn't dare to look into Aisen's eyes, for fear that he would see his guilty conscience and cowardice, even though it had already been exposed to Aisen's eyes.

"In fact, I have always wanted someone to be by my side, but when you are always by my side... I want you to disappear." Such contradictory thoughts may be unreasonable in the eyes of others, even Tang Cen himself. Think so.

Making trouble out of no reason, trampling on Eisen's feelings.

"I really hate you. It's very annoying to talk to yourself all day around me."

But Tang Cen hated himself even more, hated himself who was manipulated by emotions and tamed by pain.

Ever since Tang Cen said "I'm sorry", Eisen had expected this result.This wasn't Tang Cen's first breakdown, nor would it be the last.Eisen knew very well that the backlog of problems in the past could not be solved all at once, but with such an intensive outbreak, he was afraid that Tang Cen would not be able to sustain it.

Eisen saw the tears on Tang Cen's trembling eyelashes, saw his fragility and sensitivity, and also saw his struggle.

"What about now?" What do you think of me now?

"I really don't know what I want, I don't know..." Tang Cen grabbed his shoulders tightly, his fingertips and joints were turning white.

"But with you, it doesn't seem so bad..."

Tang Cen really thinks so now, but he can't guarantee that when he wakes up that day, he will suddenly lose his temper with Eisen and ask him to get out like before.Aisen has already endured a lot of malice from him, no matter whether he is used to it or likes it, Tang Cen is reluctant to hurt Aisen again.

"I know this is contradictory, but you...do you know that feeling?" When Tang Cen asked this question, he already had the answer in his heart, but he still hoped that Aisen could tell him himself.

"I don't know." Eisen couldn't understand why Tang Cen had such contradictory thoughts, but he could tolerate it.

"In the future, when you want to be alone, tell me. I'll live across the street. Call me when you miss me." Aisen took Tang Cen's hand and held it in his palm, "As long as you say you miss me , I'll be back."

"OK?"

Tang Cen seemed to be frightened by his words, and tried to pull his hand back, but Aisen held it firmly, not letting him break free.

"I can't do it." Tang Cen whimpered softly while holding his grasped right wrist.

He kept retreating, and kept pushing Eisen away, but Eisen kept making promises to him, assuring him, and now even cut off his retreat.

The look of Tang Cen weeping aggrievedly fell into Eisen's eyes, which made him feel a little guilty in vain. Tang Cen was already so sad, and he still forced him to do something he didn't want to do.

"Tang Cen." Aisen let go of Tang Cen's hand, and before he could react, he grabbed it into his arms, "I will be unhappy too, but as long as you say you miss me, I will forgive you gone."

He will also be sad, but he is also easily satisfied, as long as Tang Cen gives him a little response.

"I will try my best to understand you, but you also have to tell me what you think, and I can help you only after you speak out." Eisen said as he rubbed Tang Cen's neck.

"Tell me if you can't control it, I will accompany you to change it, there will always be a solution."

Tang Cen was itchy from being rubbed by him, but Eisen hugged him even harder when he wanted to escape. The slowly tightening force from his waist told Tang Cen that he was not alone in worrying, Eisen was also afraid.

Probably because of being hugged for a long time during this period, whether it was being hugged by Eisen or leaning on his shoulder actively, Tang Cen began to like this feeling.The high body temperature that came through through the clothes, warm and safe, dispelled his fear.

"I'll try my best..." Although it was difficult, Tang Cen wanted to try, just like what he promised Eisen before, trying to learn to like him and talk to him well.

"But you can't blame me if I can't do it." Tang Cen muttered softly while leaning on his shoulder.

"I don't blame you." Tang Cen's aggrieved murmur sounded cute, Eisen pinched his face with a smile, and under Tang Cen's powerless stare, rubbed his pale skin to a faint pink.

"Don't think about some things if you can't think clearly now, maybe one day you will suddenly understand."

Eisen let go of Tang Cen's face, untied the quilt wrapped around him, and pulled him up, "It's a bit late, we'd better get up for lunch first."

When Tang Cen was dragged up by him, his face was still a bit dazed.Dinner is only a few hours away, why the rush?But before he could ask, his stomach protested in a timely manner, "Gu—"

His face and ears were flushed, Eisen's playful eyes made Tang Cen uncomfortable, and finally pushed him angrily, "Stop laughing."

Eisen was pushed abruptly by him, but he was not annoyed, and took his hand and walked to the restaurant.

Looking at the steaming lunch in front of him, Tang Cen suddenly felt that all his confusion and confusion had been dispelled by the scented steam floating in the air.

Tang Cen didn't know how long this dream could last, and he didn't know what kind of ending would greet him after waking up from the dream. Maybe on the day when he woke up from the dream, all the confusion would disappear along with the dream, maybe by then , After two breakups, he can completely see his life clearly.

It is too difficult to live awake, so before the dream wakes up completely, let him temporarily lose himself in the illusory beauty like bubbles.

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The case that the comment section is asking about is Lu Sheng’s murder case, which involves Tang Cen, and has nothing to do with Eisen. There are be’s solo stories and he’s stories in the extra episode. The main text is oe. There are three protagonists. Complete spoiler, I won't say anything else.