under the filth

Eisen was thinking about the past, completely oblivious to what happened in the observation room afterwards, until Luka patted him on the shoulder, and he came back to his senses, "What's wrong?"

Luka raised his chin in the direction of the observation room, "Do you want to go in and take a look?"

Eisen looked in the direction indicated by Luka, and Tang Cen was no longer in the original place.I don't know what happened when he was in a daze. Tang Cen was curled up on the sofa in the corner with a painful look on his face. No matter what the medical staff told him, he refused to speak and just kept shaking his head.

"I'll go and have a look!" Eisen said, without waiting for Luka's reaction, he pushed the door out and rushed into the next door.Luka looked at his back as he hurried out, twitched his hair irritably, and then followed closely.

Tang Cen tightly grasped the wrist of his left hand, his fingertips and joints were all white.

Although the doctor said that this was just a simple follow-up consultation, but when he repeatedly mentioned the names of Lu Sheng and Tang Songyuan again and again, recalling all the pain they inflicted on him, Tang Cen felt that it was like being held by someone and personally Those wounds that had healed long ago were dug open, and they didn't stop until they saw the bright red flesh and blood inside their hands.

Tang Cen felt that even breathing was stinging and unbearable. He couldn't help but want to mention Jiang Yan several times, but he still didn't say it in the end.Tang Cen didn't think there was anything wrong with Jiang Yan, but others didn't necessarily think so, but he didn't want to put everything on Jiang Yan. Since she was no longer alive, don't disturb the peace of the dead.

Not in the habit of telling others, Tang Cen has long learned how to hide things perfectly, and he has always done a good job at this point, but the frequent stimulation eventually defeated the last line of defense in his heart.

"Bang——" Eisen pushed the door and came in. The loud sound of the door opening scared the nurse back a step, but the doctor just glanced up in surprise, and continued to comfort the frightened man after seeing the person clearly. Tang Cen: "He's here, do you want him to accompany you for a while?"

Tang Cen still shook his head and said nothing, and he didn't know whether he didn't want Aisen's approach, or just subconsciously refused.

Eisen didn't care about that much. He ignored Tang Cen's resistance and grabbed Tang Cen's wrist, exposing his scratched skin.

Although Tang Cen's right hand was injured, it didn't affect his activities. He only left for a short while, and Tang Cen used his nails to draw red marks on his skin, some of which were even swollen and slightly red print.

Eisen held Tang Cen's right hand to prevent him from being injured again, and was about to let the nurse treat his wound when he turned his head. Before he could say anything, Tang Cen broke free from Eisen's hand and plunged into his arms. Arms wrapped tightly around his waist, strangling him almost out of breath.

Tang Cen's shoulders were trembling, and his fingertips were trembling. He felt it when Eisen held his hand just now.Eisen raised his hand to stop Luka and the nurse who were about to go forward, ran his fingers through Tang Cen's soft black hair, rubbed it lightly, and patted him on the back like coaxing a child, "It's okay, I At this."

Holding him like this now, Eisen still feels more distressed than happy. He wants Tang Cen to rely on himself, but all this should not be based on Tang Cen's pain.

He was too scared. Since going out yesterday until now, Tang Cen has been in a state of extreme insecurity, but he just ignored it.

It's not without reason that Tang Cen hates him. He is obviously out of the sea of ​​suffering and can live alone, but his life is messed up by him, an outsider.It's not that he doesn't want to accept him, but that he put his attitude too high from the beginning, and even if he realizes it now, he still hasn't been able to change it.

The doctor looked at Tang Cen who was hugging Eisen tightly, and finally had no choice but to compromise, "Let's do this today, and when he calms down, take him for an examination, and I'll prescribe some medicine for him."

Tang Cen's reaction was too intense. This situation happened three times in one follow-up visit, and it was meaningless to continue.Tang Cen had already given an overview of what happened in the past, and for the rest, it was the same whether he asked Tang Cen or Eisen.

Eisen took the form from the doctor, while Tang Cen's hands were still trembling, but he had regained his composure, and he led him out of the consultation room with his half-support and half-arm, and walked towards Luca's office.Luka went to help them arrange the inspection, but before that, he needed a quiet place to rest.

Tang Cen's footsteps were flimsy, relying on Eisen's support all the way. When he entered Luca's office, he tripped over the threshold and staggered. If Eisen hadn't been supporting him, he would have fallen to the ground long ago.

"Are you okay?" Aisen supported Tang Cen to sit on the sofa, holding his cold hand in his palm.

Tang Cen shook his head slightly, staring at the floor, not daring to look up at him.

Eisen didn't force him, looked around, and was about to pour a cup of hot water for Tang Cen to warm his hands, but when he stood up, someone grabbed the hem of his clothes.

Tang Cen felt his hands sinking, and realized that he subconsciously grabbed the corner of Aisen's clothes in a daze. However, when the other party squatted obediently and looked up at him, Tang Cen opened his mouth and met Aisen. With eyes full of concern, I don't know how to speak.

The feelings that he could not get with all his efforts, and the relationship that he could not maintain with care, are now forcibly stuffed into his arms by Eisen.Tang Cen was at a loss, holding the things that Eisen had stuffed, and looked at Eisen's beating fiery heart. He was neither happy nor moved. His eyes were full of fear and uneasiness that could not be concealed. It looked like What a kid who did something wrong.

It was too late, it was too late for him to get these.Things that were dreamed of when I was young, even if they are within reach when I grow up, I will no longer have the feeling of ecstasy after getting it.He never got what he wanted in the past, even if he got it easily now, even if it is several times or even a hundred times, it doesn't make any sense.

What's more, these things stabbed him severely when he thought he could get it, broke his will, and left indelible scars on his body.

He gave his heart to others, who smashed it to pieces and told him it was love.By the time Eisen handed over his sincerity to Tang Cen, he had nothing to give back, and he even imitated others, piercing blood holes in Eisen's heart.

In every relationship, Tang Cen was always at fault. He used Lu Sheng's feelings to spoil Eisen's wishes. He was clearly the one who was wrong, but he always brazenly put himself in the position of the victim.

Tang Cen lowered his head and looked away, Nuonuo said, "I'm sorry."

Eisen's pupils trembled, Tang Cen's reaction obviously exceeded his expectations, but soon he hid the strange look without a trace.He straightened up and hugged Tang Cen, patted his back as usual to comfort him, "It's okay, I didn't consider your feelings, did I scare you by taking you to Switzerland suddenly?"

"One thing." Tang Cen didn't dare to tell him what he thought about the matter, and he didn't want to make his image worse in front of Eisen. Although he had almost ruined him, Eisen didn't mind now. , It doesn't mean that when we break up in the future, we won't turn over old scores.

Tang Cen doesn't believe that this relationship can last for a long time, but he chooses to accept it now.

In the past, when he and Lu Sheng were in love, he carefully concealed all his shortcomings, and achieved the perfect image in Lu Sheng's mind, but in the end he was still abandoned when his true colors were revealed.Now when Eisen says he likes him, he can't wait to start exposing all his flaws.He wanted to see how far Eisen could persist, but even though he was hysterical, Eisen didn't leave.

He didn't deserve it at all, but now he couldn't bear to let go.

He would have endured the darkness if he had not seen the sun, but the sun has become a renewed desolation. ①What dispels desolation can only be the sunshine of renewal.

Tang Cen knew that he was using Aisen as a substitute for Lu Sheng. He wanted to confess to Aisen, but he was afraid that Aisen would leave him after confessing.He was hesitant, and this hesitation caused him to miss the first chance to showdown with Eisen.

Twisting his fingers uneasily, Tang Cen hesitated for a long time and finally decided to tell Eisen what he thought, when the door of the office was suddenly knocked.After two short and rapid knocks on the door, Luca pushed the door open from the outside, shaking a few sheets in his hand, "It's been arranged, and we can start anytime."

Eisen took the list and looked at it. The above arrangements were all the items mentioned by Luka and him yesterday, and handed the list to Tang Cen, "Shall we go now? Or wait?"

Tang Cen took the list from Eisen, looked at Eisen, then at Luka, and swallowed what he hadn't said.

"Now." He originally came here through Eisen's relationship, and he can't be troubled by others. Besides, these inspections are not troublesome items, and his body can still hold on now.

"I'll go with you." Tang Cen made a decision, Eisen took his hand naturally, and pulled him into his arms, Luka, who was looking at him so greasy, had his teeth sour and embarrassed Talking, but Eisen didn't realize it, hugging Tang Cen was not enough, and kissed him on the cheek, "I'll take you for a walk around after I'm done?"

Whether Tang Cen took the initiative or was passive this day, he was hugged by Aisen back and forth several times. He didn't feel anything before, but now he felt the scorching gaze on his back, and shoved Aisen embarrassingly, thinking To break free from his arms.

After pushing once, Eisen didn't move. When he pushed for the second time, Eisen suddenly tightened his arms, leaving no room for Tang Cen to struggle.He didn't hear a satisfactory answer, no matter how much Tang Cen struggled, he didn't let go, and continued to ask cheekily: "Is it okay?"

Not only did Tang Cen's scalp tingle when he said, "Is it okay?" Luka behind him even had goose bumps all over his body.I don't know what this guy ate to grow up, so he can act so brazenly to Tang Cen, who is also a man.

But can Tang Cen say "no"?

Of course not.

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① Taken from Dickinson: "I could have endured the darkness if I had never seen the light, but the light has made me desolate, a new desolate."