under the filth

In the dark bedroom, clothes were scattered on the floor.

Lying on the bed, Tang Cen's arms were wrapped around Eisen's shoulders, his skin pressed tightly against each other.If it weren't for Tang Cen's emotionless eyes like a pool of stagnant water, they would look like a pair of intimate lovers now.

Tang Cen's eyes stared blankly at the ceiling, his almost numb body could no longer feel any pain, and he just let go of the person pressing on him as if he gave up struggling.

From the day of the acquiescing relationship, they had sex in the past month, and Eisen provoked them almost every time, but even if he had no interest, Tang Cen never refused Eisen's request.

Because this is the only thing Tang Cen can satisfy Eisen.

He can't give anything, but he can take unscrupulous demands.

They kissed all the way from the living room to the bedroom, and the marks on Tang Cen's body were not completely erased, and they were patched up again.A strange feeling spread throughout Tang Cen's body and heart, it wasn't pleasure, but it wasn't pain either.

During the few years of dating Lu Sheng, Tang Cen had already been played badly, and now no matter how rough Eisen treated him, Tang Cen would accept it without saying a word.

It's just that the relationship Eisen identified seems to be different from Tang Cen's.He tried his best to play the role of a considerate lover, making all the preparations and aftermath for Tang Cen, and he didn't just leave after finishing, he would occupy the other half of the bed until dawn.

At first Tang Cen was not used to it, so he let him go after a long time, but now Tang Cen found that Eisen seemed to be dissatisfied with these things, it didn't show up all at once, but it invaded Tang Cen little by little. In life.

But he could only watch helplessly as Eisen approached him step by step, destroying his daily life once again.

Eisen hugged Tang Cen "tenderly" for a while. Although Tang Cen's body was soft and weak, when Eisen's hand brushed his waist, his muscles visibly tightened.Although it was very subtle, Eisen still noticed it. After cleaning, he didn't bother too much. He wiped off the water droplets on the two of them and lay back on the bed with Tang Cen in his arms.

After tossing all night, Eisen didn't feel sleepy, he tightened his arms slightly, and kissed Tang Cen's shoulder, "I don't go to work the day after tomorrow, let's go for a walk together?"

Tang Cen was so tired that he didn't even want to move his fingers, but he opened his eyes instantly when he heard Aisen's words, and asked in a strange tone, "Why do you want to go out all of a sudden?"

During this period of time, Tang Cen has been nestled in the room, and has never seen anyone else except Eisen. He even wrote a list of daily needs and handed it to him.Although the mood is not very good, at least those bad thoughts did not appear when I was lying in bed alone at night with insomnia.

Still living aimlessly, without expectations, without wishes.

But don't want to die either.

Tang Cen felt that this was enough. In the eyes of others, this might be a decadent life, but it was already the best result for him.For a person like him, not to cause trouble to others is the best way to survive. There is no need to work hard to get someone's approval as in the past.

Hearing the dissatisfaction in Tang Cen's tone, Eisen didn't show his carelessness, but just found an excuse that couldn't be wrong: "Go out and get some air."

Seeing that Tang Cen still didn't respond, he added, "You look haggard these days."

Tang Cen was indeed more haggard than before, and he didn't know whether it was because of indulgence or other reasons. He looked like a walking dead who had lost his soul.

"Let's talk." Tang Cen turned over, broke free from Eisen's arms, and said with his back to him, "I'm sleepy, go to sleep."

Eisen stared at his back without saying a word. The meaning of Tang Cen's words could not be more clear, and he couldn't say anything more, which made the delicate relationship between the two of them even more embarrassing.

Although it is said to be a relationship, in fact they basically meet at night, except for eating and going to bed, they have never had a formal date.This is not a normal way of getting along between couples. Although Eisen knows it, he can't change the status quo.

Eisen raised his hand, he wanted to touch the red marks on Tang Cen's back.

Tang Cen probably didn't eat well during this period, his body lost a lot of weight, the ribs on his waist were clearly defined, and even when his knees rubbed against his waist, it hurt a little.The bones on his back are more obvious, and the pair of well-shaped butterfly bones are slightly protruding, as if a pair of wings are about to break out of the cocoon under the flesh of Tang Cen's back, giving Eisen the illusion that he will fly away at any time .

When his fingers were about to touch the small piece of red skin, Eisen suddenly withdrew his hand.He gave a soft "hmm", as if answering Tang Cen, but also as if he made a nasal sound unintentionally.

Hearing the sound of Eisen lying down, Tang Cen, who had been turning his back to him, slowly closed his eyes.

No one knows how long this relationship can last. Maybe when we open our eyes tomorrow, this deformed relationship will come to an end, or it may never end.

It was already noon when Tang Cen woke up the next day, Eisen went to work in the company early in the morning, there was no other sound in the room except the wind, it was as quiet as when Tang Cen first moved in.

Although he rejected Eisen last night, Tang Cen certainly did not think that his daily life would develop in the direction he wanted from now on. Eisen had invaded every corner of his life bit by bit and without a trace. Everything around him was eventually messed up by Eisen.

Obviously there shouldn't be these entanglements between them, but if they take a wrong step, their life will become completely different.

Tang Cen dug out the medicine bottle with only half of the pills left from the bedside table, poured two pills into the palm of his hand, and swallowed the completely cold water on the bedside table.This is the third day since he started taking medicine, and Eisen hasn't found out yet, and he doesn't plan to tell Eisen.

He was clutching his left chest, the viscera in the chest was beating a little fast, his heart was stuffy, and he was a little out of breath.

From the moment he was born, I always liked to joke with Tang Cen, watching him live in pain and struggle, seeing him desperately looking for death but getting what he wanted.

Lying back on the bed clutching his heart, Tang Cen curled up under the quilt, trying to relieve his discomfort in this way.

This method was used by Tang Cen in the past, and it was also the most effective. He didn't want to ask Eisen for help. It was enough to show such ugly behavior in front of Lu Sheng.

There wasn't much medicine left in Tang Cen's hand, and the sum of the bits and pieces wasn't enough to relieve his condition.He didn't want to take medicine, and he didn't want to go to the hospital alone, and face the indifferent doctor alone, but everything forced him to swallow the medicine while suppressing his nausea.

After many years, the side effects caused by the drugs are still very obvious on Tang Cen, but this time the side effects of the drugs are stronger than when Tang Cen took the drugs for the first time. Expired.

Every night, Tang Cen would be disturbed by inexplicably provoked negative emotions, tossing and turning all night, having trouble falling asleep, and even affecting Tang Cen's daily life during the day.Tang Cen's nerves were always in a state of sensitivity and excitement, and any strange noise in the room made him fall into anxiety.

So from that day on, Tang Cen spent almost every day in bed, enduring the side effects during the day, but at night he welcomed Aisen's return with his legs open.If he didn't rely on this method, Tang Cen felt that he would never sleep.

He couldn't stop the medicine, so he could only endure the side effects of the medicine and this terrible life.

But this will not be the end after all.

Even if the two of them just slept on the same bed at night, Eisen still sensed that something was wrong with Tang Cen, but Tang Cen never said anything. Every question Eisen got was answered by Tang Cen's silence.

The two people who lacked communication kept accumulating conflicts, and the repressed dissatisfaction finally broke out on a certain day.

One night a week later, Tang Cen and Eisen had a fierce quarrel for the first time.The thin fig leaf between the two was finally torn apart by Tang Cen, who was tortured by drugs and started to lose his mind.

The reason was that Eisen casually mentioned the matter of going out for a walk during dinner, a very common thing, but at that moment Tang Cen's emotions erupted without warning.

"Can you stop mentioning this matter?" Tang Cen put the glass on the table fiercely, and the glass collided with the marble, making a loud noise.

There was a voice in Tang Cen's heart that was always shouting loudly, trying to stop him from getting angry at the unaware Eisen, but the moment the words came out, everything got out of control.

Eisen was taken aback by his sudden action, "Why do you..."

Tang Cen sneered, and asked back, "What's the matter? You come to ask me what's wrong now? Why did you go so early?"

He took the medicine for many days, but the side effects did not subside. The emotions that had been accumulated for a long time could no longer be controlled. He blindly found a breakthrough and vented crazily.

Tang Cen sat on the chair, his teeth chattering, and his body trembled uncontrollably.He trembled so much that it was hard for Eisen not to notice it.

But when Aisen tried to reach out his hand to comfort him, Tang Cen stood up suddenly, and Aisen's hand was barely hanging in mid-air, and finally dropped slowly.

He looked down at his hands, and said in a helpless and calm tone: "Tang Cen, you can tell me anything, don't do that."

Eisen knew about Tang Cen's condition, but he didn't know what happened between Tang Cen and Lu Sheng, but he had no way of knowing if Tang Cen didn't say anything.He didn't mind if Tang Cen mentioned his ex-boyfriend, he could tolerate Tang Cen's hysterical madness, as long as Tang Cen was willing to communicate with him.

If you keep all your problems in your heart and don't tell anyone, there will be no results. The accumulated pain will only drive Tang Cen crazy bit by bit.