under the filth

Tang Cen didn't know what was wrong with the project that Aisen was with, but since Aisen said he needed to go back to deal with it, Tang Cen didn't show any dissatisfaction, but his departure time was earlier than Tang Cen expected a few days.

It was a Friday, and Eisen booked a flight for Monday morning the following week.In the remaining two days of the weekend, Eisen didn't go to the company to work overtime. After simply packing his luggage, he was glued to Tang Cen's body.No matter what Tang Cen did, he followed closely behind him, even worse than Opera Cen.

On the last night before the departure, Tang Cen was sitting folding clothes, and Eisen was lying on his lap, shaking his little finger up and down: "Is it really okay if I don't spend your birthday with you?"

"Didn't you say you'll mend it when you come back?" Tang Cen kept folding his clothes. There were a few uneven wrinkles on the coat he had just collected. He thought maybe he would hang it up and iron it tomorrow, and he would be able to do it when Eisen came back. wore.

"I'm a little... worried." Seeing that Tang Cen didn't show any reluctance, Eisen murmured softly while hugging the pillow, "I'm worried that you are alone at home."

From dating to now, they seldom separated for such a long time. When Eisen thought of the situation when he relapsed before, he was always worried, afraid that something would happen to Tang Cen when he was not at home.

Tang Cen folded the clothes and put them aside, rubbing Eisen's furry head not too gently: "It's not a child anymore, besides, I'm going to affect your work."

Eisen's hair was messed up by Tang Cen. He lay on the pillow and said aggrievedly, "I'm leaving tomorrow. I don't know why, but I suddenly miss you."

No matter how late he works, there are still people waiting for him at home, leaving a light for him, and he will consciously get into his arms when he falls asleep.But once back in London, there was nothing left.

Eisen was very reluctant, but he had to go. After all, he could take Tang Cen home after finishing these trivial matters.

Tang Cen let go of Aisen's messy hair, and fell back. He leaned against the corner of Aisen's pillow, and poked the (soft) flesh on his cheek with his fingers: "Then you should come back earlier. "

Tang Cen's condition has improved a lot recently, and even though winter is approaching, his mood is not as bad as last year.But Eisen's small thoughts were too obvious, Tang Cen felt that he seemed to be affected by his emotions, and suddenly he was a little reluctant to leave him.

Eisen didn't answer Tang Cen's words, he raised his arms and took the person lying beside him into his arms.He lay on Tang Cen's neck, the tip of his nose rubbed against the small piece of smooth skin back and forth.

On the early Monday morning flight, Eisen didn't ask Tang Cen to take him off. They just lived here temporarily and didn't buy any means of transportation. It was too troublesome for Tang Cen to take a taxi back and forth early in the morning to catch the subway.

Eisen refused to let Tang Cen take him to the airport, so Tang Cen followed Eisen up early, had breakfast with him, and then sent him to the exit of the alley.

Paris was very quiet in the early morning. Tang Cen looked around at the entrance of the alley, then lowered his head to stare at his toes, and softly called out to the person standing beside him: "Eisen."

Eisen was looking at the information on the phone screen, and immediately put down the phone when he heard Tang Cen calling: "What's wrong?"

Tang Cen's hand holding Aisen tightened slightly, and he squeezed Aisen's palm: "I'll tell you something when you come back."

"Why did you wait for me to come back?" Eisen put one hand in his coat pocket, leaned over to Tang Cen, and jokingly said, "Are you hiding something from me again?"

What Eisen said was a joke, but Tang Cen turned his face slightly and said uncomfortably: "If you don't get angry after listening, I will go back to London with you on Christmas."

"Actually, that's not... a particularly serious matter." Tang Cen felt a little apprehensive when he said this. Eisen must have guessed that he had something to hide from him, but it was the first time he said it publicly.He didn't know how Eisen would react, but the continuous silence behind him made Tang Cen's uneasy heart even more disturbed.

However, Tang Cen was about to turn his head to see the expression on Aisen's face when Aisen suddenly hugged him.Eisen hugged him very hard, and Tang Cen staggered two steps forward before barely standing still.

"There is a glass bottle of sugar in the cabinet. You can take one sugar after taking the medicine every day." Aisen leaned on Tang Cen's shoulder and said in a dull voice, "Don't eat too much, I don't want to take you Visit the dentist."

Tang Cen patted Eisen who was pressing on him, turned around and gently wrapped his arms around his waist, and asked with a smile, "Will you come back when I finish eating the candy?"

"Almost." Aisen put his head against Tang Cen's head, and rubbed his hair like a child coquettishly, "Sorry."

Tang Cen hugged Eisen and laughed softly, but the laughter was overshadowed by the sound of the car horn.The car Eisen called arrived. Tang Cen watched his lover get into the car with luggage. He stood at the entrance of the alley and waved to the people in the car.

"Be careful on the road."

On that late autumn morning, the two lived together for more than a year, and finally ended in the month of Tang Cen's birthday.

"Although there were occasional uncomfortable times during the year I was with him, it was because of myself. I spent most of the time very happily." Tang Cen leaned on the hospital bed, looked at him with his head drooping. The floor tiles of the ward, the back of the bony hand with needles.

"He would say nice words of reassurance and he would try to keep me from thinking about those things."

"My previous doctor told me that there are still many things worth living in this world, and many things that can make people happy, but I don't know what counts as 'making people happy', and I am also looking for There is no such existence."

"But Eisen...he never said dryly 'You have to be happy', he took me to see a lot of things that 'make people happy' in other people's mouths, and let me know why these things make people happy. "

Tang Cen spoke slowly, with a very shallow smile on his face, as if it would disappear at any moment.

"He would give me alone time, but he was always there when I needed him."

"I can see him when I open my eyes in a nightmare. He doesn't say anything, but just stays with me quietly. I don't even need to reach out to touch him."

Tang Cen, who woke up from his sleep, leaned against Eisen's arms and told him about those pale and empty nightmares.Eisen listened without any expression on his face. After Tang Cen finished speaking, he hugged Tang Cen tightly and kissed him on the forehead.

Then Eisen would tell him, "It's just a dream, and I'm not going to make it a reality."

"I seem to have said too much." Tang Cen turned his head and looked at He Xiu who was sitting beside the hospital bed. He put away the smile on his face, but there was an unconcealable gleam in those lifeless eyes.

"It's okay, I've been listening." He Xiu pushed the glasses on the bridge of his nose, but a different expression appeared on his face after a long time, as if he was missing something.

The sea he saw in Rome, the ancient temple he walked in Kamakura, the cow cat he saw in a foster home...During the year when Tang Cen and Aisen dated, he saw many things he had never seen before. Every detail in the movie has become his most cherished memory now.

"He grasped it very well. Even if we separated in the end, I think he can handle this relationship properly." Tang Cen lowered his head, looking at the hideous scar on his left wrist, "So I promise to wait When he comes back, we will go back to England together to meet his parents."

If it wasn't for Lu Sheng's sudden appearance, he might have seen it long ago.

"Then why...you left with Lu Cheng?" When He Xiu asked this sentence, he saw Tang Cen's body tremble violently, followed by a long silence.

Tang Cen has been avoiding this matter, and the scars on his body have not shown signs of fading during the two years of treatment.He Xiu didn't want to uncover Tang Cen's wounds that never healed, but after dragging on for too long, he ran out of time.

Facing Tang Cen's silence, He Xiu could only continue to ask: "Is it because of your uncle?"

"You already know, why do you still ask me..." Tang Cen leaned his head against the railing of the hospital bed, and slowly closed his eyes, the ends of which were a little moist.

As Tang Cen raised his head, He Xiu's neck, which had been covered by the collar and shadows, was also exposed to He Xiu's sight. There was a wound on the pale skin, as if cut open with a knife, very neat. Also very deep.

He Xiu was taken aback by the wound, but he continued to speak, but he slowed down his already gentle tone: "I only know that you visited Mr. Su Yuqing after you returned to China."

According to the information given by the police, Tang Cen returned to China with Lu Sheng, and went to the hospital together to see Su Yuqing who was seriously ill. After that, Tang Cen completely disappeared.

"Why did I go with Lu Sheng? Is the reason important?" Tang Cen said resignedly, but his voice kept trembling.

He didn't want to recall what happened later, what Lu Sheng gave him was more painful than anything he had endured in the past 31 years.It was completely trampling his dignity under his feet, destroying everything he cherished bit by bit in front of him.

Tang Cen felt his heart beating violently suddenly, he took two deep breaths, trying to calm down.The hand with the IV drip resting on his thigh, the sedative medicine slowly dripped into the transparent tube and flowed into his body along the slender needle.

"It's very important." He Xiu held Tang Cen's left hand and stroked the scar on the inside of his wrist with his fingertips. Tang Cen still had many scars on his body, all newly added in the past few years.

"I can't just stand by and watch my patient being charged as an 'accomplice' for no reason after being hurt by others. You shouldn't bear any unfounded charges." He Xiu said very seriously, but Tang Cen didn't care These.

He was originally that despicable and shameless accomplice, not to mention the so-called "unnecessary charges".

Seeing the indifferent look on Tang Cen's face, He Xiu paused, then lowered his voice and said, "I can wait for you forever, but Aisen can't wait."

Eisen couldn't wait.Tang Cen's slightly closed eyes suddenly opened, and he looked at He Xiu in disbelief, his pupils trembling slightly.

But what He Xiu said next dispelled Tang Cen's illusions.

"You are the only witness." He Xiu took Tang Cen's hand and said solemnly.

I thought that what the other party gave was hope, but that was just the last remaining memory.Tang Cen broke free from He Xiu's hand, and grabbed his cuff with trembling fingers: "Can I... be alone for a while?"

"I've made up my mind... I'll tell you... Is it okay?" Tang Cen said very carefully, lest He Xiu would disagree.

Tang Cen asked He Xiu's opinion carefully, never showed such an expression in front of him, He Xiu felt as if he had been severely pinched in his heart.

He Xiu gently helped Tang Cen wipe away the tears from the corners of his eyes: "I won't disturb your rest these two days, remember to take your medicine on time, okay?"

Tang Cen choked with sobs, unable to utter a single sound through his sore throat, he could only nod vigorously.

He Xiu gently hugged him before turning around and leaving the ward.