Happy Life [Rebirth]

Fanwai·Gu Tingsheng

I drank three cans of beer that day. Beer is really nothing. I always thought that drinking beer would not make you drunk, because in the memory of another life, I have never been drunk because of beer.

In the end, I came to the crew where Xiaolu was the screenwriter. I ate at a street stall at night and was poured alcohol hard by a group of grandchildren.It turns out that no matter how low the alcohol content in beer is, it can still be intoxicating.

In the middle of the day when I was drunk, I stopped drinking for a while, and I heard a man singing again, and he stopped singing, so I started singing.

Later, I had a vague impression of this passage, and I thought to myself, Gu Tingsheng, you are sick, singing on the street is no different from being sick.

Later Yang Lu told me, he said, big brother, it was really nice that you sang nonchalantly by the side of the road in the summer night wind that day.Also very handsome.

When Yang Lu said this, I felt that what this child said was really sour.He was not like this in another life, but he has become like this in this life.Obviously, the novels he writes are of mixed types, including unnutritious online novels, comic reviews, and some idiotic campus novels.

Of course, there are also the most lucrative youth sentimental novels nowadays. I call these novels designed to cheat money, and they are no different from saliva books.Later, when I looked at him, I always felt sad and happy, so I had to admit that these youth pain novels were not all saliva books to cheat money and loli, some of them were interesting.

At this time, when Yang Lu was writing these books, I was always worried that he would lose his brain. Later, when I saw which ones he wrote and which ones made money, I found that he had a lot of brains.So I don't understand, how can this kid have a heart for literature and art even if he writes Internet garbage novels?

Until a long time, how long, about ten years later, a virtual concept became popular-IP (intellectual property) was rampant, and capital wanted to get involved in film and television.The film and television media company I invested in also intends to sign a contract with several so-called "great gods" authors. To show her sincerity, Yang Lu asked me, a big boss, to have a meal with someone in person.

One of the three authors invited is a male writer of fairy tale novels. In fact, his works have a big shortcoming. The harem orientation is obvious. The hero is monogamous and has countless concubines, and the advantage of adaptation is the weakest one.Although most male readers of his books and his male compatriots like that there are so many women in the male lead, the loyal audience of the eight o'clock file is mainly female, and the customers we face will definitely have opinions.

As a result, the author drank too much wine during the banquet, and the author tied a tie on his head, and used the leftover crab claws as a microphone to recite Bei Dao's poems to us.

Only then did I realize that no matter what subject matter he writes about, every author has a heart for literature and art.The author of Xiaohuangwen also has an original intention of being a literary youth. How many people have not liked Gu Cheng and Haizi when they were young.

Leaving aside this night, the night when the film crew finished filming, I sat cross-legged on the floor eating hot pot and drinking. At this time, I was not so "rebellious" anymore.Yang Lu thought it was because I had more contact with people and became cheerful, and often looked at me with very gratifying eyes in silent places.Those eyes really don't look like those of children, they are quite mature.

I sometimes wonder if he, like me, has another life story.

It was a very bad life, and in that life, he died.

Later I thought, he should have some memories of that life.

In that lifetime, he was the adopted child of my pair of parents. Gu Xingsong and Yuan Mengyu were in the smuggling and drug business. They adopted Yang Lu with a dark idea at first, but Yang Lu's personality was too gloomy and His IQ didn't seem high, so Gu Xingsong and Yuan Mengyu gave up the idea of ​​cultivating him.

So in the previous life, when Yang Lu was also admitted to Jincheng University, and she still had a very high score in the business department, Yuan Mengyu went to contact Yang Lu in private.I don't know what kind of deal they made between them. I thought that until Yang Lu died in front of me, I thought he was fascinated by money and power before taking over these things.

It was only later that I realized what a failure I was as a person.He only has me as a relative in this world, and I have always vaguely known that his feelings for me are not pure, so don't I understand all the unreasonable things he did?

Besides for me, who else could it be for.

In the ward in the double room, the men and women who sat on the floor eating hot pot told stories.

He Mingjie, the nagging director, actually I don't think he is weird at all, sometimes I always feel that I understand him.His feelings are hot and pure, he can feel such things too much, no matter sadness or joy, despair or anger, this man has a more sensitive heart than normal people, and he expresses it without hesitation.

He sat by the hot pot and told a story about his first love and broken love like a joke. Everyone laughed, and I laughed too.

This man who looks like a big horse monkey, I knew that he was very similar to Yang Lu in essence.Such a person is always easy to be unhappy if he is not careful.Because they are too sensitive, with a sensitive and soft heart, people's joys and sorrows are like sharp blades to them, but they can feel the existence of these things better than ordinary people.In short, the hearts of these people have been torn apart by emotions back and forth in their short and long lives.

Every time the blood dripped, the pain was real and touching.After each healing, it always enters the next reincarnation.The wound was opened and then healed. The dripping blood was not a lesson, it was a drunken heartache, and it was an after-dinner conversation where everyone drank and spanked after eating hot pot.

Li Yuan is the second person who dedicates her emotional experience as talk material.

I think her story is certainly embarrassing, but it is often difficult to lament for a second, and it is also difficult for me to feel sympathy for her.It's just that women are not as easy as men. After all, there are only a few people like my mother Yuan Mengyu. I still don't know why Yuan Mengyu wants to destroy the Gu family and me.But I know that women are more soft-hearted in this world.

This probably has something to do with the biological structure. After all, for men, sex/love is too easy and too exciting for them, so men always want to sleep with many women.But for women, going to bed not only means refreshing, but also means that they have to bear the risk of pregnancy and childbirth in October, as well as the risk of upbringing for several years afterwards.

This natural moat-like difference in physiological structure, with a high probability, always means that women take more risks and pay more.The more you give, the easier it is to be affectionate.

So women tend to be more affectionate than men.

Compared with Li Yuan and He Mingjie, Jim and Lin Yi are much smarter. They are more like people in the entertainment circle, and they tell two little stories that are not painful.Then the group of grandchildren skipped over Yang Lu. I guess this group of people saw that Yang Lu was young and had no stories, so they let me tell it directly.

I thought, how could Yang Lu have no stories, you can tell by looking at his eyes that he has many stories.

He Mingjie has sharp eyes. He said that my eyes and Yang Lu's are very similar. They are eyes with stories. This is indeed true.

Sitting on the ground now, there is only soup left in the hot pot.I watch people, I have stories, and I have wine.But there are always some stories in the world that cannot be told. The story has not been twirled on the tip of the tongue, but just a little thought of the beginning is like drinking a very bitter wine. Such stories always cry before saying anything.

That's a different story from He Mingjie's. The ending of He Mingjie's story is just a different road.That's a different story from Li Yuan's. Li Yuan's story is just that if you are ruthless, I will give up.What about my story?

I remembered a little story I saw posted on an otaku forum.

On a small planet that walks 24 steps and has [-] sunrises and sunsets a day, there lives a little monster and a group of red roses.

I told them this story, and everyone lacked interest, and I also felt very boring after I told it, and felt that it was completely boring.

But the light was off, and Xiao Lu fell asleep quickly on the bed. I looked at his figure in the dark by the moonlight, and I suddenly thought that the little monster was really lonely.

He lives on a small planet, and he is the only monster on the small planet. What he has to do every day is to water the roses and watch the sun rise and set.

One day a little loli broke into his life, and what the little monster had to do every day became watering the roses and waiting for a message from the little loli.Watch the sun rise and wait for the little loli's message.Watch the sun go down and wait for the message from Little Lolita.

But in fact, Little Lolita has been online all the time, and the otaku who made up the story added Little Lolita's perspective on the second floor.Little Lolita is a real Lolita, she has many friends in reality, she never lacks the friend of the little monster, she just casually says hello to the little monster, the little monster will reply her every time, maybe there is It was late to reply, but I never failed to reply once.

But that's all. Little Lolita has so many friends, she really just said hello casually.

What are you doing?Really just a random question.

So little Lolita never knew that the little monster sat in front of the computer every day and watched the sun set and rise, and he was waiting for her every day.The little monster is so stupid, because who made α star so small, who let little loli break into his world.

Hello.That day she added him casually, just out of curiosity.

Little monster, why did you call it that?

Because I'm a little monster.

I lay on the bed, stretched out my hand and stroked Yang Lu's hair carefully, I retracted my hand and wiped my eyes, I looked at him who was asleep, and after a long time I told him softly: "I'm sorry."

I didn't know that I broke into your world, you have been waiting for me.I didn't know I was so important to you.I know you've always liked me.Because I can't hide my liking for this kind of thing, I covered my mouth and it showed from my eyes.But I don't know that your liking is more than just liking. It turns out that for a little monster, a little lolita is his life's waiting.

But the little loli has a little loli's life, she has parents and many friends, the little monster only has a small planet, how could she be willing to visit a little monster on a small planet.

I thought, Gu Tingsheng, you are such a jerk.You have broken into this person's world, you clearly know that he is such a weak child, you clearly know that once his heart enters one person, he cannot enter the second person.You also know that you are more than just a brother to him, you fill all the blank spaces in his life.

I am reminded of another lifetime memory, slowly recalled over the past few years.

Those things had been impressed a long time ago, and they were seen through the fog in a dream.After stopping the medicine, my mind cleared up a lot, and I saw a person walking on the road, so I thought his back looked like him.

who is he?Thinking of this, the face of that person in another life is gradually pieced together and remembered bit by bit.

The back of a person is very familiar today.I saw a tree yesterday and thought that I was standing under the tree, and a man was walking towards me with a schoolbag on his back. The walking posture was very familiar.The next day when I woke up, I saw your face in front of my eyes. The sleeping face made me shed tears. The appearance of the back, the appearance of walking, and your sleeping face, all pieced together bit by bit to form a complete you , And pieced together another life that was not good at all.

I always feel that I am miserable in this life. I am sure that I am too precocious, and I will not deny that I am sick. After all, how can a normal person have another lifetime of memories.I have doubted countless times whether the extra life is true or not.

If it is true, it is really against common sense.If it is a false memory, why should I burst into tears every time I think of it.

The beginning of that life was actually much better than this life. In that memory, I was a normal person. I was not diagnosed with bipolar disorder (manic depression plus schizophrenia) at a very young age. In that life, my personality was normal. Excellent, has been the class monitor since elementary school, started his own business in university, and owned a company with about 50 employees in his senior year.

In that life, I was upright and kind, a gentleman, good at both sides.In that lifetime, I was also a hypocritical egoist.I was raised by my grandma, and I have been educated as a gentleman by the old man since I was a child. I have excellent quality education, and I have used this seemingly polite and high-quality education to alienate many people from myself quietly.

In that lifetime, the only person I ever liked and felt sexually/impulsive about was my unrelated brother who was adopted by my parents and was three years younger than me.The first time I saw him, I called him Little Deer after I knew his name. His eyes were big and black, with round and dark eyes, just like a beautiful and lonely deer in a zoo.

But I am a child from a normal businessman's family. I am a boy who has received a high-quality education. Businessmen always like to weigh the pros and cons. Feelings are nothing but weights that can be weighed left and right on the balance.

I, who was not going well in this life, from the time I met Yang Lu, I watched that gradually perfected other life with cold eyes in the past two years, and saw that Gu Tingsheng who was better than me in that life. I came to a conclusion, although feelings are worrying, but Sunshine Avenue is more reassuring.

A hat that says homosexuality is not a small hat, maybe it is strong enough to be fearless, but selfish people always have themselves as the first priority in their hearts, so how are they willing to take risks for this.

In the life I recalled, the ending of the memory was that Yang Lu died in front of me, and I also chose to leave this world after enduring his departure for a year.I knew where my psychosis came from in this lifetime.

Is this memory true or false? Can a false memory make people so sad?The Gu Tingsheng who lived his whole life is really pitiful.He didn't want to take the risk of stepping into the unknown river, but after many years, he recalled the years of his youth and always looked back frequently.It turns out that putting feelings on the balance is also a kind of risk, because you never know that in your whole life, you have only loved him.

You can earn money when you lose money, you can regain confidence when your life is at a low ebb, and the sun will rise tomorrow when it sets today.

There is only one person who has liked only one person in a lifetime, and if this person is gone, this life will be over.

There are tens of thousands of businesses in this world, and tall buildings rise from the ground. A person can travel 60 times around the earth in a lifetime, and go back and forth to the moon.Only liking someone is an adventure that cannot be gambled on.You always think that if you miss this person, there will be someone next. In a world with a population of [-] billion, the most indispensable thing is young and beautiful men and women.

But in fact, how many years have you spent, young, tender and beautiful breasts are lying in front of you, and you suddenly look back, and it turns out that you really only like one person in your life.It turned out that no matter how good the others were, it wasn't him.

So as a human being, you should not gamble with your feelings.

Can't afford to lose.

I didn't fall into a deep sleep that night, and I couldn't help but open my eyes every time I slept for a short while to make sure that Xiaolu was still by my side.

He would come to the set and avoid me for a period of time before he came. I couldn't figure it out at first, and even wondered if he also remembered another memory of his life.Is it because you resent me, so you don't want to face me again.

Later, on the day he left, I found Assistant Gu Xingsong and got a single ward in the private hospital where the crew filmed.Every day, I lie on the window and watch him from a distance, thinking about the daily life every day.

Yang Lu was too kind to me, I came to this conclusion.Not to mention that life, Xiaolu in this life was too tolerant to me. I don't want to deal with such an indifferent boy like me. I get tired easily, stubborn and paranoid, and have a mental illness.I thought of Zhang Yueyang, the only one who had a good relationship with me, watching him sometimes recall the self in his memory.Not to mention, the me in that memory was almost the same as Zhang Yueyang in school, even more dazzling and outstanding than him.

Such a little boy who is tolerant to me, such a child with melancholy eyes, he is no different from him in that life, still depressed and introverted, still sensitive in heart, so I really don’t know why he always avoids me all of a sudden .

I think it's because he's tired of me and doesn't want to play the brother and brother's warm game anymore, or he finally realized that he doesn't have to face this indifferent and paranoid Gu Tingsheng all the time.Either way, I'm terrified.

But when I calmed down, I thought of seeing him for the first time in my life, and I will never forget that look.Why do you have such sad eyes? In this whole life, Xiao Lu always feels sad whenever she looks at me. If she has never met me before, why should she be so.

I was afraid and afraid, that life was not good for him, it was not a stable and ordinary life.I still remember that life when I stood in front of his grave and wrote his name on his tombstone.I looked at his tombstone for a long time in that life, and I felt ashamed of him a lot.

His life is really too hard, I think.

If there are hundreds of thousands of miles in the reincarnation circuit of Huangquan, I hope he will never look back.

The author has something to say: I typed half a chapter tremblingly yesterday, and my brother said I'm sorry, so I'm going to end this chapter.

Because I was too sleepy, I decided to fix the typo and send it again today. After fixing the typo, I felt that it would be better to add a few paragraphs and write down how my brother remembered another life.

I didn't expect to be able to add so many qaqs!

Happy May Day holiday, children's shoes ^^