Happy Life [Rebirth]

When making up classes in August, a group of youngsters complained endlessly, saying that it is inhumane to make up classes without air-conditioning in the school.

When the school officially started, the third-year students of Jincheng No. [-] Middle School had a separate teaching building. At this time, the third-year students knew that the make-up classes in August were already merciful.

I was planning to skip a grade to the third grade in the first grade of junior high school, but the dean stopped me for two reasons. One was that she thought I was too young and worried that there was too much estrangement between me and the classmates around me.Secondly, Jincheng No. [-] Middle School has extremely high requirements for junior high school students, nicknamed "Little College Entrance Examination".

An unreliable educator said that a person's college entrance examination score is directly proportional to his high school entrance examination score.This statement is too absolute, but it also makes sense, because the learning atmosphere and teaching level of key high schools are often better. If you fail the high school entrance examination and fail to enter a key high school, it will be more difficult to enter a key university again.

Jincheng No. [-] Middle School took this as a standard. Students in the third grade of junior high school were the only ones in the city who were forced to attend two evening self-study sessions. In Jincheng, except for boarding middle schools, there was no public junior high school that had evening self-study sessions.

After I skipped a grade to the third grade, I didn’t have any friends from my original class. I left or stayed in obscurity. I went to the teacher’s office once and met the head teacher of the original class.

The male teacher teased me: "Student Yang Lu came to No. [-] Middle School in the second year, and the class changed three times. This kind of experience is also very rare."

Then the head teacher quietly said to me: "You are the first in the monthly exam, and strive to be the number one in the high school entrance examination. Then I can also brag, saying that this year's high school entrance examination city is the number one. .”

Xu Meihui took me away at that time, and replied: "Take the credit from me, Mr. Chen, Yang Lu, come here..."

Teacher Chen and Xu Meihui are two teachers with different styles. Teacher Chen is male, and getting along with classmates is like a friend.Ms. Xu is female. Compared with Ms. Chen, she is more intellectual. Her tone is gentle and she looks pretty, but she likes to talk about the truth. I don’t know if this is good or bad. I think many of what Xu Meihui said came from her own experience. , A lot of words are very good, but for children of this age, no matter how much truth they have, they have not experienced it, so what if they have heard it.

Xu Meihui once said, don't be too paranoid in doing things, she doesn't even pay much attention to grades, but she also bluntly said that good grades and diplomas are more choices.She said that life should not be limited to one road. Studying for the senior high school entrance examination and college entrance examination is only the first step in life, but it is not the most important step. The most important step is always your next step.

But she always said, study, study, prepare for every moment, because this moment is the most important moment.

The last exam before the winter vacation, the final exam, is over here. Three days later, the class meeting will be held and the parent meeting will be held, and the results will be announced. In the eyes of the students in the class, I continue to maintain the first grade in the grade. Xu Meihui Also called me to the office to talk.

"Your grades are very good. If you maintain this grade, I'm not worried about going to the No. [-] Middle School and High School." Xu Meihui drank her saliva, and I knew that Teacher Xu's long speech was about to come.

"I think it is a serious dereliction of duty for a real teacher to just use grades as the only criterion for judging the quality of students."

"Yang Lu." Xu Meihui looked at me, her tone slowed down, "Let me apologize to you first, because I have been paying attention to you silently. I found that in this class, you and Gu Tingsheng have the best relationship. Gu Tingsheng took it with him so that he could communicate with more classmates. But I found that you don’t communicate with others yourself, you and Gu Tingsheng are together, and the two of you seem to form a two-person world by yourself.”

"Teacher Xu." Xu Meihui's words were too exaggerated, so I had to remind her, "Zhang Yueyang and Gu Tingsheng have a very good relationship."

Xu Meihui coughed: "Yes, there is also Zhang Yueyang and Xiang Linlin, but other than that, Xiang Linlin and Zhang Yueyang are the two of them who approach you two proactively, right? I have something to say, as if I said yes Nosy, I know that we should respect each child's personality, some children are born introverted, some extroverted, can not simply say extroverted is good, introverted is bad, in fact most of the top scholars in the field, are personality Even extremely introverted, because introverted people are more able to focus on one thing without being influenced by the outside world."

I think Xu Meihui can talk too much sometimes, and she has already strayed from what she said.

Xu Meihui obviously also noticed that she was talking too far, and then she pulled back: "But I always hope that the students I lead can be more outgoing. When I first started looking after Gu Tingsheng, I thought he was just a rebellious child of this age. , I think you are too precocious, so you are stable. You look young physically, but I read your novels, and your behavior, I have to believe that your mental age is not inferior to that of an adult."

"I also talked to Gu Tingsheng. I wonder why you and Gu Tingsheng have such a good relationship. A boy in the rebellious stage of middle school and a boy with a stable psychological age like an adult. Then I discovered that Gu Tingsheng is not in the rebellious stage. , he is really...he has a serious xenophobic personality."

"He refused to communicate with others, and I tried to communicate with his parents." Xu Meihui spread her hands, "The assistant to the chairman came. I think I understand why Gu Tingsheng has such a personality."

"Then I don't know if it's an illusion." Xu Meihui sighed, "You and Gu Tingsheng are somewhat similar, not because of the deep personality similarity. When the teacher looks at the two of you, sometimes an idea pops up. child of experience."

"But don't get lost in the past." Xu Meihui tried to organize her words, "You are all good kids, even excellent, but the teacher doesn't want to deceive you, in fact, if your grades are not good enough, when you enter the society, You will find that your grades are probably worthless. When you really enter the society, you will find that your family background, background and even appearance are all above your academic performance. What is your ranking? The teacher himself didn’t understand this before, he only knew that grades are the first priority, but after suffering from it, he realized that he was a useless person and suffered a lot of character losses, so looking at you, I know Personality is born, not necessarily being introverted is bad, but I still hope that you can take the initiative, at least don't be so indifferent, so that the road ahead will be easier after all."

I don't agree with what Xu Meihui said, but I am very touched. In two lifetimes, she is the most responsible teacher I have ever met. No teacher has said these things to me, taught me these things, Xu Meihui said again: "Don't Don't be too paranoid about hitting the south wall, because it's meaningless."

After this conversation, I returned to the class. Gu Tingsheng was summarizing the tree diagram of historical events by himself. A huge tree was formed under his pen on the notebook, and he filled in the branches and leaves. The events of modern Chinese history were arranged in chronological order. It is the branches and leaves of this tree.

"Still talking about grades?"

I went back to my seat, Gu Tingsheng asked me, I thought about it, and said to Gu Tingsheng: "Teacher Xu told me, don't be too paranoid, because it's meaningless."

Gu Tingsheng's pen tip paused, and he smiled: "She said the same thing to me."

"But there are always some things that you can't let go of." Gu Tingsheng said inexplicably.

He lowered his head and didn't look up from the beginning to the end. I couldn't see the expression on his face, but I listened to what he said. It was like gnashing his teeth, but the voice was very soft, but such a soft voice contained extreme pain. Paranoid feelings.

Gu Tingsheng said: "My life has an existence that is as important as life, I can't let go, or let me die."

I heard myself asking mechanically: "...what is it?"

But Gu Tingsheng continued to draw his history tree diagram indifferently, he refused to tell me, he only said to me: "I also have my own pursuit, Teacher Xu has nothing to pursue, she doesn't understand, that's why she Put it this way."

"But..." I took a breath, I didn't know how to say it, but brother, why did you say such a thing, I now feel that what Xu Meihui said is absolutely right, don't be too paranoid, how can you say hell With this kind of words, I also have a lot of things I want to say to Gu Tingsheng at this moment.

But in the end I just told him, "Stop talking like that, okay? Brother, there's nothing worth dying for, and even if you have nothing, you're the luckiest thing to be alive."

Only after I died once did I know the weight of life. I always thought that life was meaningless, just alive.But after I died, I realized that just being alive is enough to make people burst into tears.

Gu Tingsheng wrote the September [-]th Incident, the Double Twelve Incident, and the [-] Movement on the branches and leaves. After a long time, he said to me: "I'm sorry... Xiaolu, I Did what you just said scare you?"

I hesitated for a long time and didn't answer Gu Tingsheng's words, but that night, I said to Gu Tingsheng: "Brother, you are always unhappy, and I don't know how to make you happy."

Gu Tingsheng said to me: "You may not know, but your existence is something that makes me very happy."

I think this is really the most beautiful words I have ever heard, this sentence is too sweet.Joy welled up in my heart, but I continued to say to him: "Go and see a psychological counselor, okay? A sickness in the heart is more terrifying than a sickness in the body.

The author has something to say: I am very worried about you. "

From meeting you in April to the next year now, Gu Tingsheng’s rebellious period has not ended, but the closer we get to him, the more we realize that this is not a rebellion. He put an end to the world, and I only entered his world once. His heart is so cold and desolate. He had a history of schizophrenia and depression. I should have noticed that Gu Tingsheng may never have truly recovered.

***Qiu Zai has something to say***

Brother, don't forget to take your medicine!

Popular science: If you can’t get rid of emotional depression, depression, insomnia, and lack of motivation for a long time, especially insomnia—you must consider whether it is neurasthenia or depression. I went out of depression, but many people developed from mild depression to severe depression... A friend of Qiuzai's mother's friend, an aunt developed from mild depression to severe depression. After taking medicine for more than half a year, she stopped taking medicine , and then heard the news of this aunt, she jumped off the building... In modern society, to be honest, there is a lot of pressure, so we must not ignore mental health.