Happy Life [Rebirth]

I thought that one day my parents would find out that I like men, and I also imagined that I would be scolded, taught, quarreled and argued, but when I faced my mother's tears, I knew at that moment that I Still let mom down.

My parents died early in my previous life, which made me a person who didn't know what it was like to be a child.

But I have a father and a mother in this life, and I understand that the best reward for my parents is to be a person who makes them proud of you.

But in the end, I just made my mother shed tears in pain.

I am a substandard son.

What happened that night, I, Xia Chaobei, and Lin Shuzhen didn't mention it again. Everyone pretended to be deaf, blind, and dumb. As long as they didn't mention it again, it seemed like it had never happened.This situation is very bad, because Xia Chaobei and Lin Shuzhen also erased Gu Tingsheng from their lives.

It was as if the boy they had taken care of as their own child had never existed.

This kind of attitude makes me unable to start and find a gap, and when I always face Lin Shuzhen, I will think of her tears. In the end, I became the same person as them. No mention of Gu Tingsheng either.

The time of separation was infinitely prolonged. Lin Shuzhen became a housewife this month, and she took me to and from school every day. The story of walking hand in hand with Gu Tingsheng to the school gate that day was reported.Rumors spread quickly. First, it was said that Yang Lu, a history major, was gay. Then it was rumored that Yang Lu was picked up and dropped off by a luxury car every day. The driver was a middle-aged rich woman wearing EL and LV.

It took three days for this rumor to spread throughout our department and college. I went to class and looked at me a lot. Zheng Yize sat next to me in class and asked me directly: "Yang Lu, are you fucking gay or bisexual? Love, how come you have a boyfriend and a rich wife?"

I only explained one problem: "The rich woman who picks me up and goes to school every day—is my mother."

Zheng Yize showed a look of sudden realization, patted my shoulder like a buddy, and said to me: "Don't worry, your mother, I will help you post a post to clarify!"

Zhao Linlin helped me solve the second problem. She still thought that Gu Tingsheng was my cousin. Zhao Linlin showed up and explained to me that it was Yang Lu's cousin. The two had a good relationship since they were young. Isn't it strange to hold hands?

A bunch of people replied: Sister Xihua, it's strange for men to hold hands!

Zhao Linlin pulled Zhang Yueyang again. Zhang Yueyang knew the inside story, but I think he also helped to forcibly clean up the crime against his conscience.

I think this matter can be big or small. Jincheng University has an inclusive style of study. A famous author was gay 30 years ago. Now there is a statue and a biography of this author in front of the No. [-] teaching building.So even if the rumors about me among the school students are crazy, they are all saying that a boy in history has two boats, a handsome guy in a suit on his left foot and a rich woman on his right foot, which can be called a model of scumbags.But the school rules don't interfere with the students' sexuality, who they like, whether they like a man or a woman, and it's not against the law. The trouble among the students made me a little celebrity, and the school has never approached me because of this.

Gu Tingsheng's name was picked up very quickly. He was originally a student of Jincheng University. Someone took a photo that day, and the photo was a bit blurry. If the photo was clear enough, I think Gu Tingsheng would have been recognized long ago.

If these trivial things in life were normal, they would be enough to cause me a little trouble, but now I am facing the trouble of being out of the closet. The situation of pretending to be nonchalant at home has a kind of depression that I cannot describe.

What makes me even more uncomfortable is that I haven't seen Gu Tingsheng for almost a week.

This week Gu Tingsheng was frighteningly busy, he always said he would come to see me at school, he said on WeChat that he wanted to kiss and hug Yang Xiaolu, but he had to apologize the next day, he was so busy that he couldn’t get out, so I was so busy that I replied to his message later , and he couldn't reply in time.

I am a little worried about him, there are always undercurrents hidden under the peaceful life, not to mention the current life has been broken.

I know that Gu Tingsheng and Shen Mengyu's company has problems.

I had no choice but to try my best to play a role of not disturbing at this critical moment. I only sent Gu Tingsheng a good morning and good night message every day when I got up in the morning and before going to bed at night.

After eight o'clock on Thursday night, I finished my homework, went out of the room and watched TV with Xia Chaobei for a while, then went back to the bedroom, took out my mobile phone and clicked on WeChat. After watching for a long time, no news came in, so I clicked exit.He went out of the bedroom and went into the kitchen to wash an apple. After taking it out, he didn't want to eat it anymore, so he gave it to Xia Chaobei.

Lin Shuzhen was sitting on the balcony reading a book, and I went into the bedroom again, took out my phone and opened WeChat, wanting to send Gu Tingsheng good night, but I didn't want to sleep at all, so I put down my phone and went out of the bedroom, washed an apple, and still didn't want to eat it, So it was given to Lin Shuzhen.

The third time I entered the bedroom and came out again, and went to the kitchen again. Xia Chaobei said to me: "Son, Dad doesn't want to eat apples anymore. If you don't want to eat apples, can we stop washing them?"

Lin Shuzhen also said to me: "Yang Lu, why are you running around?"

I went back to the bedroom, closed the door, locked it, and turned on my phone to make a video call with Gu Tingsheng.

The kind that wants to die.

I want to hear his voice, so much, I almost forgot the temperature of his skin, and the feeling of hugging each other with him, which makes me feel very anxious, but compared to these, it makes me more anxious Yes, I really miss him.

There are many emotions in the world. Sadness, anger, and depression all make people feel anxious. Now I find that longing can kill a person even more.

It's really hard to miss someone.

In the end, I still couldn't hold back, I carefully sent Gu Tingsheng a WeChat message, asking him: Brother, are you busy now?

Gu Tingsheng didn't reply in time, I kept staring at it with my phone, not willing to put it down, always afraid that I would leave for a while and he replied to the message, what should I do if I didn't see it.

Almost 10 minutes later, Gu Tingsheng replied to the message: I will be busy soon, what are you doing now?

I suddenly regained my energy and typed a lot, asking him what he did today, whether he had a good meal, whether he stayed up all night lately, and finally typed a very long paragraph, and I deleted it after typing, I'm afraid of disturbing him.

He was already very tired, and I was afraid of what he would do if he got tired of reading such a long text.

I just deleted this paragraph, and WeChat received a video request.I didn't even react, so I quickly clicked agree.

The mobile phone and the Internet were delayed for a few seconds before Gu Tingsheng appeared over there. He didn't hold the mobile phone, and the mobile phone was propped on the table. I saw him packing up his things. He was still in black suit pants and a white shirt, and the suit jacket was equipped with a chair. back.

I called out "Brother", Gu Tingsheng took a look here, he smiled, walked over and picked up his phone, after a while the shadow passed, I saw his face.

Gu Tingsheng's expression is still very tired, worse than the last time I saw him. He looks like a plant that has lost too much water. It is dark now, and the indoor lights are not as bright as the sun during the day, but I can It can be seen that his pale complexion would be very unhealthy, and there are faint dark circles under his eyes.

I couldn't resist touching his face with my hands, but through the phone, all I touched was the temperatureless phone screen.

Gu Tingsheng still smiled at me, he looked into my eyes, his eyelids were half drooped, but I could see that he was looking at me very intently, and his smile was tired but gentle.

"Little Lu."

Gu Tingsheng's voice was deep and distorted through the phone. I held the phone and said to him distressedly: "How long have you not slept?"

"Too busy..." Gu Tingsheng said in a low voice, his voice was also very helpless, "There is no time to sleep at all."

"And when I'm not busy, I miss you very much." Gu Tingsheng smiled again, but the smile was fleeting, and soon he looked at me very intently, "Brother misses you so much, it's okay when you're busy, a little When I'm free, I miss you."

When I heard him say this, my nose couldn't help sore. I didn't dare to speak too loudly, so I lay on the bed and carefully put my lips to the microphone of the mobile phone. I told Gu Tingsheng: "Tingsheng, I miss you too."

I can't go on talking until here, I'm afraid I will run out of the house without hesitation, so I'm going to find him now.

There was no sound from Gu Tingsheng for a while, I held my phone and watched him staring at the camera in a daze, then he said to me, "I'll go find you, okay?"

"Forget it." I said to Gu Tingsheng, "I can't see you, my mother won't let you in."

Gu Tingsheng said, "I'll meet you downstairs."

He added: "I want to hug you and I want to kiss you."

Before I could say anything else, Gu Tingsheng turned off the video, and I sent him a WeChat message to advise him not to come.

Gu Tingsheng asked me back: Don't you want to see me?

I stopped typing, how could I not want to see him, I was afraid that I would run away with him directly after seeing him, I was afraid that I would lose control of myself when I saw him.

But I was holding the phone, knowing that he must be on his way now, and I felt conflicted and excited, as excited as if we were reunited after a long absence.But in fact, we only separated for a week and seven days, which has nothing to do with reunion after a long absence, but I feel that I haven't seen Gu Tingsheng again for a long time.

Half an hour later, I sat in front of the computer, but I didn't see a single word on the webpage. I had to check WeChat every ten seconds to see if there was any incoming message. When I saw a message from Gu Tingsheng: I'm here Your house is downstairs.

I stopped breathing for a second. I walked out with my mobile phone. When I got out of the bedroom, I saw Xia Chaobei and Lin Shuzhen sitting on the sofa watching TV. Xia Chaobei looked back at me and said, "Son, don't wash the apples." Both your father and mother don't want to eat it."

I took my mobile phone and said normally, "I'm going to go out and buy two batteries in the supermarket downstairs."

Lin Shuzhen also looked at me, and she said to me, "How many batteries do you want?"

"Button batteries." I said to Lin Shuzhen, "for watches."

"There is no one in the supermarket downstairs." Lin Shuzhen said to me, "Go to another place to buy it tomorrow. There is no one in our community. I asked before."

"I'll go and have a look, maybe there will be." I continued to Lin Shuzhen.

Lin Shuzhen stared at me, I looked at her, and slowly I saw a very hurt expression appeared in Lin Shuzhen's eyes, like sad, but not completely, there was even pleading in it.

Lin Shuzhen said to me again with this look: "Xiaolu, it's late, what do you want to buy, can't mom take you to buy it tomorrow?"

I finally couldn't bear to continue talking, I nodded and said to her: "Okay mom, then I'll buy it tomorrow."

I walked back to the bedroom with my mobile phone in my hand. I didn't know what to do. I opened WeChat, looked at the dialog box, and finally had to tell Gu Tingsheng: I can't go down.

I thought I should explain it, but I didn't know how to explain it. I thought that when Gu Tingsheng came, I would immediately run to see him with enthusiasm.

But the reality is not a novel, not a movie or a TV series. Facing the eyes of Lin Shuzhen, I really couldn’t do anything to hurt my mother. At that moment, I even realized that Lin Shuzhen was deeply hurt by the fact that I was gay. .

She was really sad, so sad that I felt very guilty.I don't doubt her eyes at all, because of me, her heart was cut open, revealing a wound dripping with blood.

At this moment, I had an idea, why am I not a girl? If I were a girl, then all this would be solved easily.

But reality is reality, Yang Lu is always a man.

Gu Tingsheng didn't reply in time. It took about a minute before he replied. He said: Go to the window and look down, Xiaolu.

I went to the window, opened the window, and poked my head out. It was very dark outside. There were many trees planted in the community. The lights on the roadside were blocked by those trees. I looked down at the shadows of the trees from above. I squinted and saw Gu Tingsheng Looking up, he waved to me. I saw him open his mouth, probably wanting to call my name, but he held back in the end.

I WeChat Gu Tingsheng: I saw you, big brother.

Gu Tingsheng replied to me: Don't look at your phone, I can't see you anymore.

I went to see Gu Tingsheng again, Gu Tingsheng looked at me, we looked at each other stupidly, but we couldn't talk or touch each other, we could only look at each other like this, but neither he nor I said anything, just like this silently Looking at each other from afar, I feel both happy and sad in my heart.

I thought it would be even better if I could hug him, say a few words to Gu Tingsheng, and then kiss him.

One day I lay on the window sill and looked down silently at Gu Tingsheng for a long time. Gu Tingsheng felt very uncomfortable with his head up. He couldn’t stop rubbing his neck in the end. uncomfortable?

I said again: Go get a massage card and protect your cervical spine.

Gu Tingsheng said: Why did you retract your head, I can't see you anymore.

I replied: I don’t read it, I can’t touch you, and I can’t even talk.

Gu Tingsheng: If you can't touch it, you can't tell it, why don't you let me see you again?

Me: I'm going to bed, don't read it, okay, go home and rest, okay?

After I replied, wechat received another video request, I clicked to agree, and Gu Tingsheng's tired and dying face appeared on the screen.

Gu Tingsheng said, "I really want to take you away."

"I don't want to hurt my mother." I climbed onto the bed and whispered to him, "Don't let things go beyond repair, now is not the time, you will only irritate my parents more now."

"Uncle might want to beat me up." Gu Tingsheng said in a gloomy voice, "If Auntie hadn't dragged him last time, he would have wanted to beat me up like that."

I wrapped up the quilt, I was reluctant to end the video, but Gu Tingsheng was really tired after watching it, I wanted him to go home to sleep and rest, not to continue to be so tired here.

"I'm really going to sleep." I said to Gu Tingsheng, "Brother, good night."

Gu Tingsheng said, "Good night, Xiaolu."

But after we finished talking, no one was willing to turn off the video first. We didn't speak to each other, but looked at each other quietly through the phone screen. The phone screen was kissed lightly.

Gu Tingsheng laughed over there, and I said to him, "Go home quickly, you are really tired."

After I finished speaking, I turned off the video decisively this time. After closing it, I stared at the dialog box and was reluctant to quit. After the video was turned off, Gu Tingsheng sent another text message. I didn’t reply and pretended to be asleep. He can hurry home and rest.

But Gu Tingsheng, an idiot, sent a lot of messages, and he said a lot of things. In summary, he missed Yang Lu very much.

It made me sad and thought he was stupid. I used to think about what Gu Tingsheng would look like if he was in love, and how he would treat him if he liked someone.

I know now that when Gu Tingsheng likes someone, he will no longer look like him. He looks stupid and not smart at all, but he is very good at playing hooligans and talking about love, which makes him look nothing like Gu Tingsheng , neither like the gentle and educated Gu Tingsheng in the previous life, nor the indifferent Gu Tingsheng in this life.

But he is always Gu Tingsheng, just because he likes a Yang Lu.

Looking at the words he sent about missing, I felt like drinking a glass of warm lemonade. While feeling the water warmed my limbs, I felt that my heart had become very sour.

There were classes in the first two periods the next morning. Lin Shuzhen and I left the house after seven o’clock. I went downstairs first and saw a Porsche with a black film parked in front of the unit building. I thought this car looked familiar and very familiar. Quickly realize that it is KK's car.

I took a few steps towards that car, only two or three meters away from the window, my heart was beating fast, I was surprised, I thought, I know, Gu Tingsheng is in this car.

I just realized that this person didn't leave all night, he stayed downstairs in this car all night.

I was startled, and immediately took out my phone to check WeChat, and saw that Gu Tingsheng had sent a message: I'm right behind the car window.

I had a sore nose, thinking why he was so stupid, Gu Tingsheng sent another message: Auntie came out.

I turned around, and Lin Shuzhen came over naturally with the car keys. She only glanced at the car with a normal expression on her face. I don't think Lin Shuzhen noticed that there was a Gu Tingsheng in the car.

Lin Shuzhen pushed my shoulder, and I followed her slowly to pick up the car in the parking lot in front, but I couldn't help but always look back at the car, Lin Shuzhen always asked me: "What are you looking at, Yang Lu?"

"I haven't seen that car before." I lied, "Did a new resident move in?"

"I haven't heard of anyone selling a house." Lin Shuzhen and I chatted, and the two of us chatted about each other.

I didn't reply to Gu Tingsheng until I sat in the car: You slept in the car all night?Are you not afraid of accidents?

Gu Tingsheng: No, I dare not sleep in the car.

Gu Tingsheng: I spent the whole night downstairs next to the station at your house.

As soon as he sent it, I blinked and saw that the message had disappeared, indicating that the other party had withdrawn it.

Gu Ting sent another message confidently: I want to get closer to you, I couldn't see you clearly last night.

The author has something to say: The typo has not been fixed yet, I will fix it later _(:зゝ∠)_