On the Formation of a Pseudo Stand-In

Until just now, the roommate's words were like a knife, forcibly cutting through the last barrier.

Only then did Ye Luo finally understand, unavoidably, what caused those emotions that caused him to worry and toss and turn.

Putting his head against the wall, after a few seconds, Ye Luo knocked lightly a few times, and finally regained consciousness, only then did he realize that he was trembling.

The body was shaking, the arms were shaking, and so was the jaw.

In fact, as early as vaguely, he realized his unspeakable thoughts, but even though he tried his best to escape, he didn't really panic.

He is not afraid of getting what he asks for, and he is not afraid of trying to straighten his arms, but he can't touch half of the other party's clothes.

I'm not afraid that maybe one day, the accidental acquaintance between the two of them will turn into a passing cloud.

From then on, only myself misses, but he doesn't remember.

But just now, the jokes mentioned by other people inadvertently made Ye Luo no longer able to hide in his own small world, and he was content with it.

After being savagely splashed on his face by the coldness of reality, Ye Luo shuddered suddenly and let go of his arms.

Turning around slowly, Ye Luo raised his eyes and glanced at the moonlight that was no longer bright outside the dirty window.

Finally, in the silence of the night at this moment, he realized deeply—unrealistic expectations are disgusting.

Nausea.

Wrapping these two words around the tip of his tongue a few times, Ye Luo didn't say it, but felt that the tip of his tongue hurt.

After several violent chest heaves, Ye Luo wrapped the quilt tighter. It was very warm tonight, but he didn't even dare to let in a breath of wind.

If I had a choice, I would rather stay away from him, Ye Luo closed his eyes and thought.

He rubbed his head hard on the pillow a few times, trying to shake off some inexplicable and inappropriate things.

Originally, I thought that something was wrong for a while, and what I could hold back in the past, I would naturally be able to hold back in the future.

Ke Luo was wrong.

From then on, every time he saw Mu Chengan, he didn't finish greeting him, so maybe his focus was off.

Occasionally, when touching the other person's skin, if it used to feel like a numbness passing through the current, now it is so sensitive that it almost bounces several times.

Finally, the two of them sat together and talked peacefully, and their eyes always looked at some inexplicable places uncontrollably, sometimes it was the powerful arm that was very close to him, and sometimes it was the arc of his neck when he leaned back.

Or when he turned his head to talk softly, his lips opened and closed, Ye Luo's eyes were glued to the top, and his throat tightened.

It took a lot of effort to tear the sight off, Ye Luo echoed a few times, always felt like glue that had been glued on for several years, and when she forcibly pulled it off, she always had some sticky things that couldn't be pulled clean.

Originally, Ye Luo was not good at words, and often asked Mu Chengan to chatter, but he listened carefully from the side, occasionally interjecting a few words of his own thoughts softly.

But now, even this can't be done.

The two met several times afterward, and each time became more distracted than the last time. In the end, Mu Chengan couldn't ignore it and had no choice but to stop. He opened his mouth and called his name a few times. Only then did Ye Luo blink and respond as if he had just woken up from a dream. road.

Mu Chengan noticed that something was wrong with this little guy recently, at first he suspected that he was under a lot of pressure from studying, but later he felt that this should not be the case with her temperament, so he denied this idea.

But no matter whether I racked my brains to guess or asked him obliquely, the topic would always be diverted in the end.

But fortunately, although the other party's gaffes were frequent, they were not a serious problem, and each time they lasted for a short time, it was really hard to find out the reason, so Mu Chengan could only let him go.

The first half of a semester is always relatively relaxed, and Mu Chengan doesn't like to be bored in the dormitory playing games, so he visits the orphanage whenever he has nothing to do.

Sometimes I come with others, but the others always come in to deliver things and then wave away, leaving Mu Chengan wandering around for more than ten minutes, waiting for Ye Luo, who is studying by himself next night, to come back.

And most of the time, Mu Chengan was alone, sometimes taking a side trip, sometimes taking a detour, sometimes planning ahead of time, and sometimes having a whim, in short, the time spent in this place was not much less than that spent in school.

Mu Chengan himself was also happy to do so.

But ever since Ye Luo inexplicably started to alienate himself, it didn't take long for Mu Chengan to start a busy semester. Various papers and reports ran every three days, and he didn't have time to participate in club activities, let alone dragging others to paralysis. While playing with the mobile phone in bed, I took a long detour to the orphanage.

The distance and the vague estrangement brought the relationship between the two back to the moment when they first met. Mu Chengan also realized it when he handed the last report to the office and took a deep breath towards the tree at the entrance of the teaching building.

Thinking of the only hasty meeting in the past two months, the other party walked away for a while without responding, until he couldn't help turning his head, only to find Ye Luo twisting his neck, absent-minded.

Thinking of this, Mu Chengan scratched his hair in distress and confusion, took out his mobile phone from his pocket, walked forward and flipped through recent events.

On this day, Mu Chengan finally found time, picked up his friend's car and rode to that street quickly.

Standing on one foot, Mu Chengan turned over from the car, parked the car, and happened to see Ye Luo with his head down, still carrying the bulging backpack, opened the door and entered.

Mu Chengan opened his mouth, wanting to stop him, but the next second he looked at the closed door and shook his head to give up.

Stepping forward a few steps and opening the door, Mu Chengan looked directly at a certain point, and indeed saw the little guy sitting on the steps, propping his head, staring blankly at a certain point in the yard in a daze.

Stepping forward at a light pace, Ye Luo finally saw him move a few times halfway, as if suddenly pulled out of a memory, Ye Luo wobbled and sat up straight, then sighed.

Rubbing his face vigorously, he seemed distressed.

Mu Chengan's footsteps paused, hesitating whether to go up to him and ask him what's wrong, or pretend he didn't see it, and go over later.

As a result, at this moment, the mobile phone in his pocket rang, and the loud ringtone rang, breaking the silence at this moment.

Mu Chengan himself was taken aback, he took out his phone and was about to hang up, but before he could reach out to erase it, he saw the little guy who was still looking tired just now, turned his head unexpectedly, and looked straight at him.

There was no trace of distress just now, Ye Luo's expression was flat, and there was a sense of bewilderment in his eyes when he looked over.

Helpless, Mu Chengan had no choice but to connect the phone, held it to his ear, said "Hello" and walked calmly in the direction of Ye Luo.

Just sitting down next to the little guy, pretending not to notice Ye Luo moved slightly to the left, Mu Chengan only half focused on the phone, and moved to the left calmly.

Unexpectedly, Xiao Ran's voice came out of the earpiece like this. From the first word, it was provocative as always, and the voice was a little loud.

Even Ye Luo, who turned his head aside and didn't pay attention to the phone, could hear clearly what was coming out of the microphone.

"Hey, you're not in the dormitory?" After chattering nonsense for a long time, Xiao Ran's voice paused, and he suddenly asked a question full of interest.

Even across the phone, Mu Chengan could imagine that he was raising his eyebrows at this moment, with a meaningful expression on his face: "It's so late...won't you still be staying with my junior?"

Before Mu Chengan could explain anything, the other person replied self-consciously, with a raised tone: "Didn't you tell me last time that you wanted to get out of the single? It's only been a few days, and you moved so fast?"

Unexpectedly, this guy would call back once in a century. Not only was the topic not nutritious, but it was full of gossip. The corner of Mu Chengan's mouth twitched, and he was about to deny it and hang up early.

As a result, as soon as a word came out with his mouth open, he heard the sound of books falling to the ground next to him. When Mu Chengan turned his head, he saw Ye Luo holding a strap of the schoolbag, the zipper was wide open, and the schoolbag was shaking a few times. All the books in his head fell to the ground.

Seeing this, Mu Chengan quickly said a few words, then hung up the phone.

Kneeling down, Mu Chengan picked up a book, without caring to look at the young man's expression, and was about to tease him a few words to ease the embarrassment that the two of them hadn't seen for many days.

As a result, there was just an "eh", and after more than ten seconds after handing over the book, I found that the other party still hadn't taken it.

Mu Chengan raised his eyes in bewilderment, and when they met each other, he was startled by the other's eyes.

Ye Luo's eye circles were red, and a bunch of incomprehensible things flashed in his eyes, and his whole body was stretched into an untouchable string.

Mu Chengan didn't know how to react, the two remained in a stalemate for a long time, staring at each other, neither of them moved first.

Until Ye Luo suddenly relaxed himself, his shoulders slumped, as if he couldn't hold it anymore, he stretched out his hand and pulled the book off, stuffing it into the bag.

Afterwards, he silently picked up the scattered books on the ground without looking up.

Mu Chengan squatted aside, silently watching him appear calm, but in fact he stuffed the books into his bag in a panic.

He opened his mouth, wanting to ask something, but at such a close distance, he could clearly feel the other party's resistance, so Mu Chengan silently closed his mouth.

Ye Luo yanked the zipper of her schoolbag and said without raising her head, "I'll go in first."

His voice was hoarse and soft, and Mu Chengan frowned for no reason, he only blamed himself for not being aware of the other party's emotions just now, and was too busy making the phone call.

Ye Luo just got up halfway, when Mu Chengan caught off guard and raised his hand to hook the belt.

Following his dodging gaze, Mu Chengan called out, "Ye Luo."

Ye Luo didn't move, and tugged at the schoolbag vigorously, but he didn't move, so he bit his lower lip and turned his head.

Mu Chengan narrowed his eyes, and without letting go of his hands, he said again in a deep voice, "Ye Luo, look at me."

Ye Luo tightly gripped the schoolbag with his hands, so hard that his knuckles turned white, Mu Chengan glanced at him, and still looked at him persistently, watching him twist his neck and tense his body.

Like a stubborn little tree.

After an unknown amount of time, time seemed to stand still, and Mu Chengan finally let out a sigh as if he couldn't hold back, and let go of the strap.

As soon as he got up, he saw Ye Luo turn around suddenly, but it was a pity that he didn't react quickly enough, Mu Chengan could easily see his eyes full of bewilderment and the red circles.

Ye Luo picked up the schoolbag, and his chest heaved violently several times before he hugged the bag in his arms.

Seeing this scene, Mu Chengan suddenly felt that he had gone too far.

He exhaled weakly, and saw the boy with his head lowered, his toes unconsciously paddling on the ground, the shadow was stretched very long, but he didn't leave immediately.

Forget it, Mu Chengan put his hands back into his pockets and thought.

In the final analysis, it is reasonable for the two of them to have only met for a few casual acquaintances, so they cannot communicate with each other.

Thinking of this, Mu Chengan even wanted to laugh.

When did I become so carefree?

Although he was still a little frustrated in his heart, on the surface, Mu Chengan just coughed a few times and said, "Then go back quickly, I should go too."

The muscles in Ye Luo's arms were tense, shivering slightly when the night wind blew by at this moment, his body looked extremely thin and helpless.

But he was holding an obviously heavy schoolbag, pretending to be steady and standing still, with his forehead resting on it, head buried, silent.

After a while, Mu Chengan heard him softly "hmm".

Opening his mouth, Mu Chengan's farewell words welled up in his throat, but he didn't say it after all.

Seeing that Ye Luo seemed to have thrown away something, the whole person suddenly relaxed, scooped up the schoolbag, carried it on one shoulder, and left step by step in silence.

Mu Chengan squinted his eyes behind him, watching that figure disappear by the door, suddenly felt empty and a little bored inside.

The author has something to say:

Tossing outside all day and having heavy worries about my cervical spine qwq

Thank you, little angels, I don’t know how many little angels are left to click in when it’s over>

However, I always feel that the people who accompany me during a journey, whether it is for a part or the whole journey, are worthy of gratitude. I will work hard^^