blessing to the soul

When I stepped out of Xin Dongyou's house, the afternoon sun was just right, Nie Yuan hadn't seen the light for half a month, his eyes were sore and he couldn't get used to it, he was nestled in the shade of a tree, with a bloodless face and a cloak, he could cosplay a vampire .

Xin Dongyou's apartment is near the university town, not too far from Nie Yuan's dormitory, 5 minutes by taxi and half an hour's walk.Lu Xingan wanted to take a taxi, but Nie Yuan stopped him, "I'm not so weak that I can't even walk."

Lu Xing'an didn't argue much, and slowed down in coordination. By the time the two returned to the dormitory, more than half an hour had passed.Nie Yuan walked all the way sweating profusely, he nodded with Shengxing and the others, and went into the bathroom to take a shower, leaving the three roommates behind.Sheng and Zhao looked at each other, Shengxing couldn't hold back, hesitantly asked how Lu Xingan found Nie Yuan.

Lu Xing'an didn't answer, looking very tired, Sun Xu pulled Sheng Xing aside and shook his head to let him stop asking, Sheng Xing looked at this and that, and the ulcer in his mouth started to hurt again.What's the matter, the fourth one said nothing, it's gone, a large group of people searched and couldn't find it, the boss is also strange, usually protects the fourth child, but he hasn't asked once in half a month About the disappearance of the fourth child, let him look for it together without making a sound, but now the person who brought the fourth child back is still the boss, he really doesn't understand.

The atmosphere in 403 was unprecedentedly weird. When Nie Yuan came out of the shower, he saw Shengxing sullenly nestling on his bed, his small eyes flicking and hitting Lu Xingan, quite resentful. Sun Xu held the physics book for a long time without turning it over. Page, and Lu Xing'an also looked like he was wandering away.

Nie Yuan had no time to care about other people's emotions, just coping with the sea of ​​churning hearts was hard enough. He climbed onto the bed and blocked his sight with a blindfold. He thought it would be difficult to fall asleep, but he fell into a deep sleep almost as soon as he touched the pillow. The memory stays in the nagging and the warm palm above the head, and finally falls into the boundless darkness.

The moment he opened his eyes, Nie Yuan was a little dazed, sat up and looked around, even in the dark night, the vague shadows of the indoor furnishings clearly told him that this was his home.

Dream?

He moved his body, and when his hand touched the naked warm skin, the other party unconsciously shrank back, forming a defensive posture.The pendulum clock in the house was ticking, and the calendar stopped on May 5st. Nie Yuan pressed his eyebrows, thinking it was absurd. He woke up in his own home with a naked Lu Xingan lying beside him, but this scene was damned look familiar.

is the past.

Nie Yuan lightly got off the bed, walked around to the other side and squatted down on the floor, Lu Xingan's face clearly fell into his eyes, his brows were furrowed, and the lines of his face were tense, even in his sleep he didn't Let your guard down.Nie Yuan was so sore, he stretched out his hand to gently stroke his lover's hair, silently saying sorry.

Lu Xing'an was awake, and Nie Yuan could feel the stiffness under his hands as soon as he touched him, but he didn't open his eyes, so Nie Yuan just pretended not to know, and continued to follow his hair, saying sorry. The sound of breathing was overwhelmed by the sound of the pendulum clock, and the room was silent.

The hour hand jumped to the original point, and the pendulum clock struck 12 dull times. Nie Yuan withdrew his hand and stood up. After squatting for a long time, his legs became numb and weak. Yuan An yelled badly, and when he looked up, he met Shang Lu Xing'an's indifferent eyes.

The two looked at each other for a while, Lu Xing'an looked at Nie Yuan dumbly, Nie Yuan was quickly defeated, looked away in embarrassment, and climbed off Lu Xing'an.Enduring the dense tingling pain in her legs, she stood up and sat at the end of the bed, hugged her head and said in a low voice, "I'm sorry."

Lu Xingan didn't know what he was apologizing for, the dull pain behind his back reminded him of everything that happened before, it couldn't be because Nie Yuan regretted what he had done to him, Lu Xingan smiled sarcastically, thinking of what happened before he fell asleep. The devil's whispers in his ears, if he didn't do what he said, it would probably only be worse.

Nie Yuan only heard rustling, Lu Xingan got off the bed and knelt down in front of him, reaching out to pull his pants, Nie Yuan widened his eyes and grabbed Lu Xingan's hand, "Boss?! "

"Boss?" Lu Xing'an squinted at him, and sneered, "You don't want this, don't find this excuse to torment me tomorrow."

Nie Yuan was full of embarrassment, regardless of Lu Xingan's struggle, he bent down and hugged him tightly, kept saying sorry, sorry, Lu Xingan couldn't break free, so he let him go, anyway, it's not like he didn't do worse things , hugging is nothing.

Liquid slipped across his neck, Lu Xing'an was taken aback for a moment, then more damp heat dripped down, mixed with Nie Yuan's increasingly sad weeping, he unexpectedly became helpless.

It was not the first time Nie Yuan apologized, but he cried, why?

Obviously, he was the one who raped him, and he was the one who threatened him. He hasn't cried yet. What is there for this person to cry?

I don't know if the sudden bitterness in my heart is related to Nie Yuan's tears, and he gritted his teeth to force the heat back, Lu Xing'an said word by word: "I didn't cry, what's there for you to cry."

"Do you regret being raped by a man now? It's not that you were raped, so what face do you have to cry."

Nie Yuan just shook his head and repeated sorry, Lu Xingan was tired after scolding for a long time, so he simply closed his mouth and did not speak again.After a long time, Nie Yuan raised his head, looked at this virtual Lu Xing'an with red eyes, and begged in a sad voice: "Can you..." Forgive me...

"No," Lu Xing'an directly refused, shook off Nie Yuan's hand and walked away, "Everything you've done to me disgusts me, if I could, I'd rather never know you."

"Lu Xing'an..." Nie Yuan called out in a low voice, pleading endlessly, "Today is my birthday... It doesn't matter if you can tell me, just once, just once."

Lu Xingan turned on the light, and the light poured down instantly. Nie Yuan closed his eyes reflexively, only to see Lu Xingan standing at the door, looking at him with pity, "Happy birthday."

Nie Yuan covered his eyes and stumbled towards Lu Xingan, "Please..."

What answered him was the door being slammed shut, and the bang echoed in the room. Nie Yuan clutched his heart and slowly collapsed. Up to that time, Lu Xingan had either voluntarily or was forced to say a lot, but there was no I love you and it's okay.

If this is a dream, can he try hard once after waking up, and it doesn't matter if he says something back?

May I?

Nie Yuan followed Lu Xingan dully, he had slept for too long, it was almost midnight when he woke up, the dormitory was quiet, Shengxing and Sun Xu were not there, only him and Lu Xingan.Lu Xingan saw him wake up and only asked if he was hungry, Nie Yuan nodded and led him over the wall and out of the dormitory, one after the other walked outside the school.

The shadows of the trees were mottled, falling on Lu Xing'an's body flickering, seeming to be real or fake for a few moments.Nie Yuan stared at his back in a daze, and said the same sentence as in the dream, "Boss, today is my birthday... Can you just say something to me?"

Lu Xing'an turned back and stood still in front of Nie Yuan, quietly like a tree.Nie Yuan was overwhelmed with grief, he tried his best to hold back the turbulence, Lu Xingan just looked at him quietly, and the two stood silently.

Like Ling Chi.

Lu Xingan's cell phone rang suddenly, breaking the stalemate by jumping in a brisk rhythm. Lu Xingan let out a breath slowly, smiled at Nie Yuan, and said softly as before: "A Yuan, happy birthday."

Lu Xing'an shook Nie Yuan's hand firmly, and looked at him seriously, "It's okay if you don't need it, you are fine, and you haven't sorry for me."

Nie Yuan was stunned, and murmured: "...Really?"

"Yes, you don't owe anyone."

The author has something to say:

The first turning point ends with Nie Yuan's relief, and the next turning point is Xiaolu's turn to recognize the confession, and continue to slow down...