seven or seven

Every day, Lan You got up early and left without waiting for his parents to go out, and he only came back at night every day to drink a glass of milk or finish porridge under the urging of his parents.

It's just that they don't know that with thousands of dollars in his pocket, Lan You passes by such a bustling market every day, where there are many kinds of delicacies, but for more than a week, he just relies on drinking water to survive.

His body is getting weaker and weaker, and the wounds on his body may become worse and worse. He just rubs it with medicine every day, and then continues to make wounds on his body.

He almost felt that he couldn't hold on any longer. Every day he walked on the ground like he was stepping on cotton. Slowly, he fell more and more times. He accidentally scratched his cheek on the stone, and there was bleeding , He stuck out his tongue and tasted it, and seemed to move forward unconsciously.

If you were on the streets of Haicheng in 2016, you might have seen a boy in a shirt, stumbling around, holding a harmonica in his hand.

He played the harmonica on the sky bridge hung by the sunset, his voice getting weaker and weaker.He seemed to be out of breath, clutching his shirt, lowering his head, and would continue to play the harmonica later.In this way, the time interval became shorter and shorter, and he finally fell on the bridge just like that.

Lan You was in a daze as people came and went, his eyes were completely dark.He squinted his eyes, and the sun was shining so brightly that he wanted to cry.

It seemed that a person walked up to him, squatted down, stroked his hair, stretched out his hand to him, and said with a smile, "Let's go."

Lan You stretched out his hand, trying to grab that person's hand, but only heard the sound of the harmonica falling to the ground.

The harmonica is broken, it was given by Fu Lin.

The gap between them is getting bigger and bigger. One day, they will forget each other and start a new life again.

Lan You said "No!"

Don't do this, don't forget me, don't abandon me.

Life is already so painful, but I have to live on. Maybe I was looking forward to some sunshine, but now, I just ask, take me away.

This world is too indifferent, too painful, don't leave me alone.

I can't fight against the world, I can't look at their disappointed eyes anymore, I'm alone, really tired, I don't want to live anymore, Fu Lin.

Let me just die quietly like this!

Let me bow my head in the face of my sin, let me be a bad boy!

In this world, I have nothing left.

Take me away, take me away, I'm so cold.

The shackles of fate punished his thin body, the indifference of the world made him soak in the icy lake forever, and the incomprehension of his parents added energy to his already sad heart until it disappeared.

Life and death, Lan You is waiting, where is the last straw that breaks the camel's back?

Can you, come and save me?

I don't have the courage to die, nor the determination to live.

Everyone dislikes me, hates me, but tells me to live well.I don't want to live, but I can't give up anything, everything is so painful.

Am I crazy?Or is the world just crazy?

Fu Lin, look, you're gone, the nagging is gone, and now the harmonica is broken.

When you leave, let me live well, and I am willing to listen to you, but in this world, no one wants me to live.

As long as there is one person, there is one person who can tell me that you don't want to die.I can live, but who will tell me?Who would want to talk to a kid like me?

Fu Lin, I really lost the whole world.

I really, might be breaking my promise.

Don't blame me when you see me, okay?

Lan You leaned on the railing behind him and stood up very slowly.Holding the harmonica in his hand, he watched the setting sun, with deep sorrow and pain lingering in his eyes, scars all over his body, even his back was stained with sorrow.

His already thin body became even thinner, his legs could barely walk, his arms and shoulders were so sore that he could feel the pain of the wound opening with a little effort, like being cut continuously by a very blunt knife.

I still remember that in the past, the boy stood on the brightly lit street and proudly told his greatest dream.

Today, everything is a miss, everything is a fault.

In his life, it seems that he has understood too much sorrow in the world, on his calm face.He showed a peaceful and compassionate smile.

That smile made me want to cry.How much pain did he go through before he chose the original world.

He raised his arm, and threw the harmonica into the river vigorously, regardless of the tearing of the wound.

With a "plop", the hand was empty.

He watched as the harmonica arced through the air and fell into the water.

It's like his life.No matter how hard you try and how serious you are, no matter how hard you try to achieve it, in the end it is still nothingness.

Lan You once thought that he could remain calm when he lost everything, but until he met a man named Fu Lin, the person left and took away his future, his dreams, his love, and his life. his world.

Without looking back, he tried to straighten his back and walk home in the setting sun.

Along the way, how many people come and go, how much joy and delicious food, how much excitement and entertainment, all have nothing to do with him.

How could he still be alive like this.

If I cannot be forgiven and accepted by the world, then I choose to forgive the world.

Because of that, I don't care about it.

No matter how painful and sad it is, no matter how much suffering there is, I will forgive, because I don't care anymore.

What grades, what honors, what kind of pride, what kind of good boy, get out!

Lan You said, I want to leave cleanly instead of being so humiliated.

This life is not mine.

My own pride, no matter how sad it is, still exists.

How can I live so seriously, because of this setback, I stopped.

When he got home, Lan You opened the door, quietly put the keys on the table by himself, and went to the kitchen to cook.

He thought this might be the last time he would cook for his parents.

He cooked a table of dishes, which were extremely rich, and poured himself a glass of red wine, drinking while waiting for his parents to come back.

He had already figured out what he wanted.

He also finally knew that it turned out that not everything in the world needs to be retaliated. The courage greater than revenge is forgiveness.

Forgive, it's not that I don't hate you anymore, but that I forgive myself for my cowardice, I forgive the injustice of the world, and I can already say that I don't care about everything you have done to me.Maybe I will hate you forever, but I forgive the past, but I don't forgive anyone.

Everyone should be punished for what they did wrong, which is fair.No one should deprive others of the right to revenge, but any revenge must be cowardly.

We don't want revenge, we don't want revenge, we just need to face the past, smile and say to that person, you deserve it.

I forgive the world, but that doesn't mean everyone doesn't have to pay the price.

When her parents came back, Lan You drank a glass of wine.In this way, his pale face seemed to be more rosy, and he looked less sick.

The parents didn't say a word, put down the things in their hands, washed their hands and ate.

The three of them at the dining table were relatively silent, without looking at each other, and finished their meal quietly like this.

Mother wanted to wash the dishes, but Lan You stopped her and said, "I'll do it!"

He entered the kitchen with the dishes and chopsticks, cleaned the kitchen, washed the pot, and came out after washing his hands.

My parents sat there watching the news and occasionally chatting for a while.

Lan You finally made up his mind to talk to his parents, even if it was a quarrel, he must make it clear today.Because he doesn't want to convince anyone anymore, he just wants to tell his parents that he is such a person, that's all.

"Mom and Dad, can I talk to you?"

"What do you want to say?" Mother raised her eyes and looked at herself warily.

She didn't know what unfilial words this son, who had made her extremely ashamed, would say.

"The college entrance examination is over. No matter which school I get into, I won't repeat it."

"Just think about it yourself, don't fail the exam and we have to clean up the mess for you."

Lan You shook his head and said, "No, no..."

"I know that I have let you down very much, but Fu Lin and I have never regretted it."

As soon as he finished speaking, his parents looked at him as if they were looking at a heinous drunk. His mother trembled angrily, and threw the newspaper in his hand in his face.The edge of the newspaper drew a bloodstain on his face. It was a red line at first, and then the blood dripped down. Although the wound was not big, the blood had coagulated on half of his face, which looked very scary.

The mother seemed to be frightened too, she pointed at Lan You tremblingly and said "You...you..."

His father seemed to be unable to stand it any longer, and asked him to go back to his room to deal with his face.Lan You stood there, motionless, he was already numb, not to mention the wound on his face, it was not worth mentioning, it was all over his body, moreover, the pain on his heart was much more painful than this.

"Mom, I know, you think I'm an unfilial son. I know, it's not easy for you to support me. I have spent a lot of money in studying and studying, and you have spent a lot of time cultivating me since I was a child. But, I want to say, I'm this year, I'm going to college soon, you can think of me as a rebellious child who is ignorant, but I just want to say, I'm really serious. I don't ask you to understand, I just ask you, don't be so disappointed .”

"I know that I have failed your expectations. But, this is the real me! Since I was a child, didn't you all tell me to be an honest person? Why, it's just what you don't want to see, you guys Does it mean that I am so young and confused?"

"You're right, I'm young, I'm naive. But if I have to think so much about everything, if I become the kind of person I hate the most, I would rather never have lived myself. You said maybe I grew up, It will get better. But, is that called getting better? You just want me to lie to you all your life, marry a wife and have children, don’t you? Would you rather have a hypocritical son who will be unhappy all his life than me? "

"What do you think of me? Since I was a child, you only told me to study hard. I want to be an engineer, a teacher, and a barrister, just because you think it will be more face-saving."

"I am your son! Since I was a child, I have been more obedient than others, and I am not noisy. I try to understand what you say for my own good. I have always been a good boy. So you don't allow it, I don't Do it, what you want, even if I don't like it, I will try my best to let you see me do it. Is it?"

"I'm just something you talk about after dinner. It's a good sample for relatives to see during the holidays. What you want is a rag doll, a set of programs, and a robot that is always 'correct', not me, the real one. people."

"So, I am like this, you feel ashamed, you think I have changed? But, this is the real me! You are busy working to make money every day, who cares about me? Who asked me if I have friends? At school Being bullied?"

"Where were you when I was fighting with people, when I was stitching up in the hospital? Where were you when I got a concussion from being hit by a basketball? When I had no friends, when I was being bullied and isolated, where were you? where?"

"No matter what I do, you only need my good grades. Yes, I did it, but no matter how much I do, you still blame me. Such a small thing has cost me years of sacrifice and hard work. It's all erased."

"Do you really think that I don't want to make friends? Do I not want to hang out with other people? I'm not wood, I don't have hobbies and hobbies. I love reading, I love being a reporter, I love...Fu Lin. These , do you all know?"

"You blame me for being a bad child, but ask yourself, tell me, are you qualified parents? Only money, only money! You didn't spend a birthday with me, you were busy with work and entertainment, and I Just be a dog that doesn’t cause trouble for you, right?”

"So at this moment, you hate me, and I hate myself very much. I hate, since you don't love me, why did you give birth to me?"

Lan Youyou said that the louder he cried, the tears in his eyes were trying not to fall, but they still burst into tears after all.

Parents eyes are also a little red.

Lan You heard them say, "Your dad and I admit that maybe we didn't do enough, but that's not why you used this to retaliate against us. We will spend your birthday with you in the future and try to understand you. It's not a problem. So, can you stop your farce, Lan You!"

Lan You lost all color on his face, bit his lip, and asked tremblingly, "Could it be that what I've said is all childish farce in your hearts?"

The mother tidied up her clothes, took a deep breath and said, "You are our child, of course we love you. Although there may have been some shortcomings, we will try our best to make up for it. I don't know when you will make trouble. Anyway, in hello This is probably all we can do until we get up."

Lan You shook his head slowly, his big tears fell down.

He said, "You don't understand, you don't understand... you eventually... still don't understand."

He turned and left.

Back in the room, sitting alone on the ground, looking at the endless night sky and stars.

He failed, yes.

He didn't make it clear, he failed terribly.

However, the matter has come to this point, it is useless to say more.

Lan You resigned to his fate, his years of forbearance finally turned into nothingness on this day.

He accepted his fate, he bowed his head to fate and the world.He couldn't say a word anymore.

How much hard work, how much seriousness, how many years of stories, all disappeared at this moment.

Lan You has no regrets, he has worked hard and pursued, and he will not regret it in this life.

No matter what others say about me in the future, I no longer care about it.

Fu Lin, have you seen it?

I once told you so proudly that I want to be the most perfect person, but now, I admit that I was wrong.

I was wrong and I resigned myself to my fate.