Shuangcheng

Time changes, time changes, and what people want keeps changing. There is only one need that never changes, and that is love.

"He created us with love, and in the name of love he will put us to death." - Gibran "The Broken Wing"

However, love, like a demon with wings, flies over their heads, stretches out its sharp claws to grab their throats, and the whole soul is in the shadow cast by his huge wings, surrounded by the rustling wings. Powder buried.

When people touch white phosphorus, the flame will penetrate the flesh and burn in the bones. Have you ever felt the blazing happiness and despair of the flame flowing in your body? "All fire has passion, but light is alone."People will become another ashes under the base of love's high throne.I will not live and die with you, I will just hold your carbonized bones and cry.

We still have to drive the thorns deep into our chests. - Colleen McCullough, The Thorn Birds

When Chengcheng witnessed these happenings, he felt that An Lan was talking to someone, a group of people who were not in his world.

An Lan came to them after Li Si left, and Chengcheng had no intention of treating him as Li Si's substitute, he was even more perfect than Li Si.

However, An Lan was passing him and communicating with the world.

An Lan was the last one to leave him and Yi Lushen.An Lan was the ugliest one.

An Lan was slapped hard when she told Chengcheng that she had tested positive for HIV.He cried so ugly that he lost his beauty, and he didn't know what his meaning was.

Cheng Cheng could not stop trembling.Can you give us some face.

They try to make themselves good and strong, and they don't want to be associated with dirty and dirty.

Have you read "Nie Zi"?He closed his eyes wearily.I'm full of poison and dirty.

No one to talk to me, no one to lick my scars, no one to cry for me, no one to experience this life with me.

What makes Chengcheng even more sad is that through An Lan, he has come into contact with the outside world for the first time, after all, the cruel reality. All his shallow joys and tears in the past just came from his ignorance of what he needs to face , no one will condone his cowardice anymore, he can only choose to be strong.

Where there is no past and future, love cannot survive, it can only linger in the cracks.

Say you sell blood.Chengcheng has seen with his own eyes how they were turned away, begged for help, and even inferior to drug addicts and prostitutes.

They try not to be looked down upon, but sometimes they look down on themselves.

Even if your sins are as red as blood, I can make them white as snow.

But Chengcheng, who should we pray to...

This is my lot, always to ask forgiveness, even to ask myself forgiveness for who I am, who I was born to be. - Bohumil Hrabal, "Too Loud Solitude"

What are you going to confess.

Confess everything, Confess my past life, Confess I ever lived. — Ibsen, "Catiline"

Their bodies are weak, but they bear the sorrow of Achilles. They are weak and kind, and they have no hope of revenge.

I change!I am willing to change!I don't want anything, I am willing to have nothing, I want to change.An Lan cried, and the dark red blood snaked down the damaged forehead that was as white as snow.

Chengcheng suddenly realized that it was not beautiful at all.

Why cry for a part of your life, don't you see that the whole life is a tear - Seneca

The corners of An Lan's blurred mother's mouth twitched, and her resentment distorted the soft and beautiful lines of motherhood.She scolded him, cursed him, and put all the vicious words on the blood-connected people that were hard to say even to people who had never met.

I should have strangled you as soon as you were born.

The roses were uprooted from the carefree Garden of Eden, torn to pieces, trampled to death, and had to erect those powerless thorns, not knowing that they were in the midst of thorns.

Chengcheng felt that he couldn't bear it any longer, and he took the non-existent door and fled.

When An Lan's coffin passed by Chengcheng, he smelled the dizzy smell of almonds, and he saw cherry red blood dripping all the way, as if dripping from a cross.

Would they be angry if I thought of joining you

Chengcheng followed in despair, and he followed the bloodstains on the road paved with gravel. The stones became bigger and bigger, and finally looked like tombstones, covered with familiar or unfamiliar names, leading to cemetery.The last tombstone was bigger than the ones along the way, but it was dull and unremarkable. Chengcheng stopped and stared at this tombstone for a long time.

The scrawled scratch marks on it, the written name is all too familiar.

Chuck Chan.

When you are alive, there may be many paths you can walk and choose, but there is always only one path leading to death.

Same way.

They never go astray again, they never make mistakes, they change, they die.

Chengcheng looked up at the night sky through the gap between the tall pines and cypresses, and felt that the color of the night sky was as indistinguishable as the ceiling at night. His gaze seemed to pass through nebulae and galaxies, silver red, sky blue, rose, crimson purple, azure blue, intertwined, billions of The starlight from light-years away fell on his hair at this moment.

It's like the past time and memory are confused, falling into the gap of the years, the flowers that should have bloomed in midsummer bloomed in late spring, and the trees that should have fallen hawthorns bear begonias. Is it because he lived wrong in the past or the years have changed track.

Who is that person looking back at the end of the light in the boundless darkness?The soul escapes the shadows, blurring the line between reality and illusion.

Chengcheng had countless times, at the moment when the memory faults intersected, he had vaguely and strongly doubted whether he was crazy.He seems to have lost the ability to perceive time and space, the boundary between existence and emptiness has become blurred, inexplicably broken and missing memories, leaping intermittent time, confused consciousness... He doesn't know which one is more terrifying, if It's not that he's crazy, it's that the world is crazy.

Those fragments of deja vu, the smell that evokes familiar emotions, the broken melody that I remember, and the phantom that disappears in a flash, do you think these are illusory and unrealistic, but all our lives are composed of these, we life depends on falsehood.

Chengcheng turned his head and saw Yilu staring at him deeply and earnestly for a long time, with a thousand dawns of dawn and a thousand sunsets in his eyes.

The author has something to say:

I don't remember what song I was listening to at the time, so I just pushed a few. Thecrave in "1900" is probably my initial concept of jazz. I always remember the beginning of the central ten character program in the middle of the night at that time. Along with this melody, Einstein's photo jumped and landed on the faintly blue screen. middle.The first movement of Mahler's Symphony No. [-] in C sharp minor runs through the melody of "Death in Venice". the devil'trill Tartini's devil's trill.And speaksoftlylove... I always wondered, if the girl Mike married in Sicily hadn't been blown up, how would he face his girlfriend who was waiting for him when he went back.