Shuangcheng

Chengcheng can't ignore the throbbing that is different from ordinary people, but he loves beauty and his own existence no different from ordinary people. Although he can never stand beside Yi Lushen holding orange blossoms, he has never wished to be in the opposite position. attitude.The presence of love should be accepted.He is lucky that he identifies with and is proud of his existence, secretly proud.

We love life not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. - Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

As early as the moment he saw Yi Lushen, he knew that disaster had come, everything was written on the wall, clearly and clearly, bad luck was destined to come at some point in the future Sooner or later in his life.Everything he can do may delay the coming of this disaster, maybe find a scapegoat for himself, and try to survive, or maybe even speed up its coming—he cannot predict the consequences of his actions in the future, and there is nothing he can do about it.

Like everyone knows they're going to die eventually, but they're still alive.

However, when he looked at Yi Lushen, his mood was different.

How much he wished that they were a couple who had been together for ten years, how much he wished that they could walk hand in hand on the street like they are now, talk about family matters, and set up a house together, with everything in mind and nothing to worry about. — George Orwell, Nineteen Eighty-Four

People have moral cleanliness, most of them are irrelevant, no one cares about their likes and dislikes, but a few people, their moral cleanliness is related to the life and death of others.

Like genocide, like concentration camps, like us.

It's absurd, some few people are rejected and sacrificed by the majority, and some few people decide the fate of the majority.

They say we will rotin hell, but I don't think we will.

While the living were arguing endlessly over the dead and the dying, Chengcheng hid in the closet.Regardless of whether the majority of powerful people finally decide whether to allow the existence of vulnerable minority groups or not, when the cabinet door is closed, there will be darkness, sound, light, and tense atmosphere are all blocked out, curled up in the old clothing that smells like camphor, as if wrapped in a mother's womb In the amniotic fluid, it seems to be at the beginning of the end of chaos, thick and warm.

The wall of the heart is actually fragile, so with the help of the fortress of the outside world, I built a fence to hide in my secret garden, watching the dark flowers bloom continuously in the bottomless darkness, and the boundaries of the four walls are also clear and blurred. The middle fades, and time flows slowly enough to be seen.The stars rose and the stars fell, splashing circles of ripples of light and shadow on the lake.Fish swim back and forth in the air.The great sense of security and the fear of the mysterious and unknown are intertwined.

All his responses and gestures to the outside world are to hide in the closet.Trembling and trembling, he hid in the wardrobe.Fear subsided, he saw the demon hanged between his ties, and the wreckage of the prophet was floating in the collar.A holy devotion arose in the heart.The city of Sodom collapsed and burned in brimstone and fire, and a brand new Gomorrah rose from the ruins.The sins within the narrow walls were forgiven by deeper sins, and the pastor was forgiven by confession, and he felt a kind of ultimate tranquility and peace.

The folded whalebone skirt is covered with umbrella cloth, and the music boxes are not in pairs under the feet. The six-color brooch in the sugar bowl is assembled into fondant by itself, and the powdered Isabella butterfly walks through the strings of the lyre. Suddenly, screaming why there is a devil and a God, a little white dove disappeared among the layers of ukuleles like a flying shuttle.

I like that you are still, as if you had disappeared.You hear me from afar, but my voice cannot reach you. - Pablo Neruda, "I Like You Are Silent"

Once again I walk among the narrow walls... the silence seems to disappear...

He saw Li Si, wearing a black evening dress and a white tie, dancing to the elegant and graceful beat of Shostakovich's No. As if to embrace the whole world, because there is actually no one in his arms, one of his hands is holding the shoulder of the empty partner, and the other hand that should be attached to the partner is holding a delicate, exaggerated The sharp knife, the sharp edge is glaring.Among a group of native puppet-like crowd, he fluttered like a butterfly about to fly away from the ground, waving a sharp knife casually, cutting people's throats and inserting them into people's chests. Ribbons and gorgeous fireworks bloomed in the air, and there were strings of roses that withered in an instant, and white doves flew through them.Like a celebration of a magnificent revenge.

A loudspeaker distorted order came from outside the door, like a majestic harmony, the crashing sound matched the sound of the percussion, and Li Sisi accurately and unmistakably moved between the gaps between the lying red corpses. Landing on the ground, waltzing, as if trampling his subjects, swinging his delicate jaw from side to side, curly hair swaying gently on both sides of his rose-like cheeks, as if nodding to the nonexistent audience, He gracefully wiped the blood on the knife with a handkerchief, his slender and graceful fingers seemed to be directing a grand symphony, and he threw it casually into the air, and the bloody handkerchief turned into a white dove and flew away.

The music is moving towards the grand and magnificent ending step by step, the scales are repeated, and at the end of the grand final climax, the door collapsed, and the bullet just happened to penetrate Li Si's chest, and a bright red flower bloomed on the white shirt on his chest. A rose, like a collar flower in a buttonhole, followed by the second, and the third. Li Si's body shook back and forth as the flower bloomed, as if he was twisting his shoulders coquettishly with the music, and he opened his eyes wide. arms folded, smiling and falling backwards.

For a long time, like the curtain of an absurd farce, Li Si sat up from the pile of corpses like an old doll that had just been rewound, the gears of the bones and joints creaking, The charming smell of ointment and metal rust, through the baptism of eyes, returns to reality elegantly and pretentiously.

Chengcheng does not agree with Li Si, Li Si is exaggerated and flamboyant, while Chengcheng hates people's curious eyes and roaring lips.

But Li Si's mind is too independent, he has his own ideas, and even starts to run counter to Chengcheng, as if there are countless selves in one self, talking in the heart, denying each other, and killing each other.

My kingdom is limitless, as suffering is limitless, and death is limitless. ——Andreyev, Confessions of a Viper

The limited space expands infinitely, maybe the boundary has disappeared, or maybe it still exists but cannot be found, there should be no difference between the two.There is a strong attraction to the boundaries that continue to expand and expand privately, and his body, heart, and soul follow the lost boundaries.Flames, flames burnt the boundaries, black and scarlet waves rolled and roared above his head, a rapid light reflected the gloom, bitterness, and coldness, and in the frightening light for a moment, he witnessed the courage and cowardice of human beings , Struggle and compromise, hope and despair, the eyes of fear of seeking knowledge that have been opened wide since birth, exploring the world, seeing people with the same height of personality and soul discriminating and torturing each other, seeing the dirty and rotten human nature, seeing pain Helpless forbearance in the shadows, he was too terrified of what he saw, but his desire for knowledge made him unable to close his eyes, so he also saw how people struggled unwillingly, struggled unyieldingly, how they strengthened each other and licked each other. Lick the wound, see how people overcome fear, how to move forward in fear.The world has been full of ugliness and despair since the opening of Pandora's box, but people have come to the present step by step.Hope is not in Pandora's box, but in people's hearts.

Doves appear and disappear in the robes, and he sees himself in endless darkness, between a past of regret and a future of fear, doubt, and hopelessness.He is what he thinks and sees.

Chengcheng didn't know that Li Si had walked into his closet without his knowledge, and things had begun to get out of his control, but he didn't realize the seriousness of this problem, because of this problem, he would soon be Disappeared.

Li Si saw a lake in the closet.All the real things in the world are just gray reflections in this lake, and only those dreamy conjectures are brightly colored.

The lake is so wide, and the wind blows up his hair and clothes, as if pulling him and pushing him towards the lake.

What everyone sees in the lake is different. Everyone has an unspeakable deep nightmare in their hearts. Most of the images in their eyes are interlaced with black and white. No one lives only in pure reality. Who has no unrealistic phantom in his heart.Even for the strictest person, in his meticulous gray and white reflection, between the regular glass and steel high-rises, there will be a corner of a bright red skirt, a nightingale like a yellow rose.

only one person.

When Li Si bent down to look at the lake, he was stunned, and then began to tremble uncontrollably, crying loudly, crying bitterly.

The reflections he sees are colorful, all of them, every scene, every person.

He lives in pure illusion.

... Her clothes spread out, making her temporarily float like a mermaid; she also sang ancient ballads intermittently, as if she had grown up in the water. - Shakespeare's "Hamlet"

The broad streambore her faraway...

It was probably because he had been out of the world outside the closet for too long, and finally someone found his disappearance reluctantly, just like discovering his existence at the beginning.

How quickly all things vanished!In the universe it is the disappearance of the objects themselves, and in time it is the disappearance of the memory of them. ——Marcus Aurelius, "Meditations"

The door of the cupboard opens, glass beads embedded with stars and stories, pictures of foxes, hemlines like skirts, music box shoes, endless fairy tales, flowers of time, six-colored proudly flying flags, endless tea parties Riddles and cups, colorful jumping fish, broken and glued Humpty Dumpty, singing and crying under the juniper tree, the life of Solomon Granty, the king's men, the lingering Faust The soul of the world, the condensed London fog...all poured out of the wardrobe, flowing and spreading in all directions.

He becomes everything he thinks, and the form disappears.

A small, white rose-like, slender ankle-like girl, white and sad dove flew out from the depths of the endless closet.

"...They are convinced that that pigeon is his unwavering soul... They are still looking forward to the return of the person he will never forget in his life... Dove, don't cry... The lost enthusiasm... is dead..."

He was said to be convinced that another spirit lived in his body.

He is often seen hugging himself.

The little white blue pigeon, like a wisp of smoke, a long and unwilling song, a wisp of ashes, flies away.

No one came out of the closet.

No one saw him again, but no one could say he was dead.

He was originally dead in this world, and what people call death and fantasy is his life.

The author has something to say:

It is recommended to eat it with MiNa’s livinginbetween. In fact, I don’t think it’s the most suitable song for this period of mood. I can barely listen to it and write it down, try to translate it by myself, I feel that there are many places that need free translation. When I read it recently, I found that the lyrics have been translated. The dictation back then was actually correct, but I was so proud. "Theroadthatshowstotake." I heard "TheroadthatIchosetotake." The female voice is a bit hoarse, and I'm not sure.There is still a big difference between the translation and my own translation at the time, but because they are all free translations, everyone's experience and emotions are different, so it is a matter of opinion. There is no right or wrong, only right or wrong.

At that time, I translated the sentence living in between, I live in the gap.

Ah, and the "Second Waltz" of Shostakovich's Second Jazz Suite in Reese's yy