The torn school grass is the lost first love? [Rebirth]

The boy's dark eyes stared blankly at the front. He walked forward with one foot deep and one foot shallow. Inside, the cold wind is howling through the chest.

It turned out that when I finally got to this day, my chest still hurt like a tear.

He thought faintly, he should have no heart, his whole heart was given away.

But why is it still so painful?

A burst of dizziness struck suddenly, and the boy's eyes darkened. He stopped, opened his mouth and breathed desperately, and told himself that there were more urgent things to do, and he couldn't pass out at this time.

Guts of cold wind poured into the lungs, gradually suppressing the turbulent emotions and dizziness.

He hugged his shoulders and said to himself over and over again: It's okay, it's okay, there will always be such a day.You've rehearsed it countless times in your mind, haven't you?

Dreams always wake up, nothing lasts forever, didn't he already know it?

Now, he wakes up, and what he has to face is still his hard-won life, which has never changed.So, there is nothing to be sad about, something in the dream, he never really had it.

He now has to grit his teeth and get the important things done.

Zhang Junruo kept talking to himself desperately, as if he could ignore the sense of desolation and disillusionment that kept creeping up in his heart.

However, his body went against his heart and reacted first.

Zhang Junruo only wobbled and walked a few steps forward, then knelt down in the corner of the wall, leaning on the base of the wall with his hands, retching retchedly.

The call came in a hurry, he only drank a few sips of water in the morning, and there was nothing to vomit, but the feeling of vomiting was violent, and he didn't calm down until it made him vomit dark green bile.

Zhang Junruo staggered to his feet, wiped the dirt around his mouth with the back of his hand, and raised his eyes to see two neem trees standing beside him, looking at him silently and sadly like two old friends.

Most of the leaves of the tree species that filled childhood memories have withered, and only a few leaves are still holding the branches, clinging to them, looking sad and sad.

Moving his gaze down, he remembered what he had buried near the tree roots a year ago, and his tearful eye sockets glowed with burning heat due to vomiting.

That's right, he had already buried that memory with his own hands, and they had been buried in dust a year ago, and what he experienced now was all the fault of his being too persistent.

He thought about it and thought he was ridiculous, maybe that person was right, and that was the reaction a normal person should have.They have all grown up, who in this world will take their childhood promises to heart and carry them through to the end?

Zhang Junruo raised his hand and vigorously wiped away the physiological tears flowing from his face due to vomiting, trying to pull himself out of the vortex of self-pity.

When he arrived at the hospital in the morning, he found the small body lying on the bright blue disposable sheets of the emergency room.The boy was beaten black and blue, and has fallen into a severe coma, looking miserable and helpless.The bruised and purple bloodstains covered almost all the exposed skin, and there was a depression on the head. The doctor said that it might be a skull injury caused by blunt instrument beating.

Zhang Junruo was stunned for a while, and he was just a high school student who was facing the college entrance examination, being urged by the doctors in the emergency room, panicked and at a loss.

He tried his best to calm down his flustered mind, and followed the doctor's instructions step by step.He wanted to go through the hospitalization procedures for the boy as soon as possible, but he came out in a hurry and did not have enough money with him. He remembered that there was still a card in the dormitory, which was the reward for the recent part-time job and the bonus for the physics competition.

The sum is only more than 6. Judging from the boy's injury, this amount of money is far from enough, but he has no other choice. He faintly feels that there is no way to go, but he can only grit his teeth. Continue to walk alone.

Zhang Junruo returned to the dormitory, clutching the life-saving card preciously, and hurried to the hospital, thinking on the way that he might be able to get a campus loan or something. He will work hard in the future, and he will always be able to pay it back slowly.

In the taxi rushing to the hospital, the phone rang suddenly.Seeing that it was the phone number of the hospital in the morning, Zhang Junruo answered it with trembling cold fingertips.

On the other side of the phone, the dignified and slow male voice told him word by word that the boy was dying and asked him to hurry up.

In the car that was speeding all the way to the hospital, Zhang Junruo was in a daze and didn't think about anything. Something was gradually cooling down like the pale ashes from the bonfire that night on the island.

When he stepped into the crowded and noisy emergency room again, and found the boy in the corner, the boy had quietly closed his dark eyes, and his thin body was lying there soundlessly, as invisible as when he was alive Notice.

Zhang Junruo leaned against the wall beside the bed, slipped slowly, and curled up in a small corner with his arms around his knees, as if his soul had been taken away, his dark eyes staring blankly at the chaotic world in front of him, No matter how much anyone asks or how to comfort him, he will not say a word.

Then the police came, and so did the reporters, and people in all kinds of uniforms walked between him and the little body, asking questions about him.

Later, an old doctor took out a booklet, spread it out in front of Zhang Junruo, and asked him what color and style of shroud he wanted, and whether he wanted a single room or a shared room in the mortuary.

Zhang Junruo's long eyelashes trembled slightly, as if he had finally come to his senses, he staggered to his feet, with a pale face, stretched out his hand to grab the wrist of a young female reporter, and wiped the hand that had been crushed by him. Hand the hot card to her.

The voice was like rubbing a handful of gravel, vicissitudes and hoarseness.Zhang Junruo entrusted the kind-hearted and enthusiastic reporter to help him outline the next steps, then silently took off his silver-white padded jacket, gently covered the boy, turned around and stepped into the bitter cold wind of midwinter.

He had already figured it out, the boy's death was a weight he could no longer bear.

He needs to cover the desolation and devastation in his heart with greater destruction, as well as the emptiness and disillusionment that swarm his head and face.

He walked in a daze in the cold night where the wind was raging, not really knowing where he was going.This time, there was really no way ahead.

Dazed, when he came back to his senses, he was already sitting in Yin Zi's bar.

The bar on New Year's Eve is very lively, the shining neon lights and the colorful light sticks in people's hands are intertwined into a gorgeous and illusory dream.

The boy's cell phone kept ringing. He looked at the string of numbers that had tortured him for a long time, and answered with an indifferent expression.

There was no longer a strange and gloomy silence on the other end of the phone, there was a terrifying laugh like a demon, the man said with a shrill old voice, "I heard he died—giggle—Jing Xun, everyone It's because of you—! Hehehe..."

With cold fingertips, the boy weakly pressed the hang up button, cutting off the devil's grin.

The loud and dynamic music suddenly quieted down, and the lights on the small stage dimmed. Someone stood in a peaceful halo, and said affectionately in a pleasant voice: "New year, bring you a new year! Here is my latest cover song - "Half Life."

Under the stage, many flashing blue light sticks swayed gently following the man's singing. In the darkness, it was like a brilliant galaxy of stars, and like little fireflies in the summer night in memory.

Zhang Junruo sat quietly at the bar, listening to the man singing in the dark and quiet with a long and melodious magnetic and ethereal voice. The singing touched the soft heart, as if lamenting the impermanence of life and sympathizing with the suffering of all beings.

After the distant singing, there is a libretto.

"Doubt is tearing itself apart, life is an endless wilderness,"

"Are you over there?"

"This is me, my trial."

"Finally, you and I meet here."

"Maybe, you are my unfulfilled wish."

"Finally, you and I met in half a lifetime."

"Only for you and me to see, the truest side."

The boy listened silently, and there were bright lights in his eyes, like the reflection of the stars in the sky.

For some reason, he once again remembered the promise that could never be fulfilled.

The memory traveled through the layers of mist in the cold world, and returned to the bleak and windy hills that appeared in countless dreams.

There, there was really no one waiting for him.

The boy suddenly frowned, pursed his ice-white lips, and forced himself to endure the most difficult moment.

My trials are over.he said to himself.

The soul-stirring song on the stage is still being performed affectionately - "I can't go back and move forward, half my life is forever..."

The boy left the bar in the last two lines of gloomy and desolate singing, and resolutely withdrew the tightly bound ring in front of the counter, mixed with a handful of money, and silently put it in the bright silver cashier tray of the bar.

The boy jumped off the roof of the teaching building amidst the sea of ​​flowers blooming all over the sky on New Year's Eve.

Behind him, Qu Linggong sent him off with a miserable exclamation mixed with the rustling wind.

☆, blood and tears splashing