The torn school grass is the lost first love? [Rebirth]

Qu Linggong didn't understand what the sense of familiarity and palpitations were when he saw these two words.

He traced back, but he had heard the name "Jing Xun" somewhere, and he still remembered that he went to junior high school, and there was no one named Jing Xun. The painting gradually became dim and blurred, just like looking at the scene on the other side of the river across a river. He stood on this side of the river, and the other side was filled with mist, so he couldn't see anything clearly.

He used to think that it was time that faded away due to the washing of time, and he didn't take it seriously.

Now that I think about it carefully, I feel that the memory of the past is too vague and mottled.

In my impression, when I was young, I should have lived a very difficult life. In order to avoid the pointing and pointing of unscrupulous relatives, I lived with my mother in a small town on the outskirts of the city.

Later, Song Shifang couldn't bear the hardships of life, so she went to Qu Mingfeng.Although Qu Linggong knew the past well, he couldn't decide whether it was Song Shifang's indoctrination or his own real memory.

"Mom—! When I was young—was there a child named Jing Xun around me?" Qu Linggong rushed to Song Shifang like an arrow that had left the string.

Song Shifang was watching a Korean drama in the living room making a facial mask, and was taken aback by the solemn and eager expression on Qu Linggong's face.

"Who?" Song Shifang asked subconsciously with widened eyes.

"Jing Xun!" Qu Linggong said clearly.

Song Shifang frowned and pondered for a moment: "...well... I don't think I've heard of someone called Jing Xun..."

Qu Linggong's eyes darkened. Could it be that he was thinking wrong? The name that drew his thoughts did not appear in the vague memory of his childhood...

Song Shifang looked at her son's knit brows, hesitated for a while, and said, "However, for a while, you seemed to often mention Xiaoxun or something."

"Xiao Xun?" Qu Linggong whispered, the pronunciation of these two words aroused a strange resonance somewhere in his heart, and the heartstrings resonated for a while, like deep in the memory box, there is floating soil buried with treasures, rolling Up and down.

He looked at his mother solemnly, and his voice trembled subconsciously: "I...what did I mention about him?"

Song Shifang rested her forehead with one hand, and tried to recall: "Probably... um... this chocolate candy is delicious, I should keep it for Xiaoxun; we should make more green vegetables for lunch, because Xiaoxun likes to eat and so on. Bar……"

Qu Linggong's pupils suddenly tightened, and a strong premonition arose in his heart. If the "Xiao Xun" he often mentioned when he was a child was Zhang Junruo's former name "Jing Xun"...

A pair of black and clear eyes quickly flashed across the mind, with the melancholy and loneliness unique to the owner in the eyes. The man once stared deeply at himself, and there seemed to be some faint light shining in the eyes.

Will it be like that?Qu Linggong was shocked by his guess.

He stabilized his mind and said calmly: "If that's the case, he should be my very good friend... But, why can you remember details like chocolate candies, but I can't remember anything..."

Hearing this, Song Shifang raised her hand and quickly took off the mask, stood up abruptly, looked at her son nervously and at a loss, her eyes wandered, and she was speechless for a while.

"Mom, did I lose my memory? Or something? Why can't I remember the past." Qu Linggong looked deeply into his mother's pale eyes.

Song Shifang's face flashed a scene of turmoil, and after a while she sighed and said: "Some things... forgetting is a blessing."

"Mom! What's going on?" Qu Linggong used such an urgent and solemn tone to his mother for the first time.

Song Shifang hesitated for a moment, then said: "Five years ago, the day your brother Qu Lingjin had an accident, you were actually in the car..."

Qu Linggong opened his eyes wide: "What?"

He almost doubted what he heard. He remembered that his mother told him that Qu Lingjin died in a car accident. He was in the old house of Qu's family. How could he be there.

Song Shifang's soft voice sounded again: "Your father asked the driver to take the two of you to your grandma's birthday party in the old house, but he didn't let me attend. The driver was driving tired, and the car rear-ended a steel truck on the highway. Your brother Sitting in the co-pilot, was hit by a..."

Song Shifang paused, and swallowed a bloody word: "You lay in the hospital for half a month, after you got out of the hospital, you asked me why your brother disappeared..."

Qu Linggong: "...!"

"The doctor said it's a psychological stress response, and it doesn't affect intelligence." After a pause, she said, "I don't seem to remember things clearly when you were a child. Some things you remember, some things you don't. Let me ask you, You just frown and say you have a headache, and you don't mention it much in the end. I think it's good to forget it. Anyway, you lived with me in one of those suburbs when I was a kid, and you went to a sheep herding school with bad students in the upper grades. Bullying you, I haven't had a good life for a few days."

Qu Linggong froze for a while, and finally sat down on the sofa dejectedly.

Song Shifang was heartbroken, and hurried forward to comfort her: "Isn't it just right to forget? Forgetting is a new beginning. You didn't know it when you were in the hospital, and your brother didn't say goodbye to the body at the funeral... It's lucky to forget those bloody scenes .”

Qu Linggong leaned on the sofa unmoved, making Song Shifang anxious for a while.

After a while, Qu Linggong said weakly: "Mom, my childhood photos, diaries, classmate albums, whatever, can you still find them?"

When Qu Linggong got the yellowed group photo, he couldn't help but his heart stopped for a few shots.

He was in the crowd at a glance, and found those black and clear eyes. Although the owner of the eyes was so short and thin in the photo, with old clothes and dark skin, without the nobleness and fairness of the present, those eyes stared out of the camera. His eyes were so quiet and peaceful, with a bit of inherent melancholy and innocence, just looking at him quietly like that.

Even if those eyes were drowned in the sea of ​​people, Qu Linggong was sure that there would be no mistake.

He took a deep breath, and some blissful emotions swept up unexpectedly and were about to overwhelm him.

Qu Linggong even felt that a bolt of lightning pierced through layers of smog and pierced directly into his heart.

The names of the people behind the photos also verified the facts.That kid named Jing Xun is really Zhang Junruo, he used to be a classmate with him.

After five years, they met again.

Qu Linggong's fingertips trembled slightly due to the intense ups and downs of his nervousness and emotions. With doubts hovering in his heart, he opened the diary of his graffiti when he was a child.

[On June 6th, it rained lightly, and found that Xiaoxun likes to eat sweets, especially chocolate candies, the one with a rabbit painted on it in the shape of an umbrella, he likes to eat that.I want to give him all the buckets in the small shop. 】

[July 7th, sunny, the senior trash came to trouble me again, Xiao Xun helped me, and was beaten by that fat man, I will write down this grudge. 】

[On February 2, I gave my baby to Xiaoxun.I said, I want to protect him forever.We must remember this agreement, and we must remember it for a lifetime. 】

……

With a thud, a drop of tear fell down and hit the yellowed paper, staining the crooked handwriting on the paper.Qu Linggong didn't know why he was crying, he was shocked by his unconscious behavior.

He thought that those tears were probably to help him pay homage to his sincerity and those sincere and beautiful times that were covered in dust, hidden in snow, and obliterated by time.

He closed his eyes tightly, and what quickly flashed back in his mind was Zhang Junruo's eyes looking at him silently. There was indeed a trace of depth and sadness in the lake-like quiet and clear pupils, just like the master's slightly melancholy expression. The temperament is the same, making people want to explore but unable to see through.

After he learned about Zhang Junruo's feelings for him, he interpreted all the things he couldn't understand as the loneliness and loss when he silently liked someone.

But now, Qu Linggong felt that there was a deeper meaning in those lonely eyes.

If it was a good friend since childhood, why didn't he tell himself?

After figuring this out, Qu Linggong shrugged his shoulders, curled up his long legs, and buried his head deeply in his arms.

He thought of Zhang Junruo's bad words and deeds to him every day like a bandit occupying the mountain as king when he just transferred to another school.

That person, there's no way to tell—no way to tell yourself who he is, in front of someone who can't remember who you are at all.

There's also the possibility, even more suffocating, of being in the presence of someone who knows who you are but won't admit to knowing you.

Regardless of Zhang Junruo's possibility, Qu Linggong felt heartbroken.

There is another thing that Qu Linggong is concerned about. After the Math Olympiad competition in the first year of high school, if Zhang Jun crossed two urban areas and transferred from Lingdong to Xingyi, could it be because of himself?

From those naive and clumsy words, Qu Linggong could see that he liked "Jing Xun" when he was a child, and after Zhang Junruo transferred to another school, he also found that he was silently liking for him.

When did Zhang Junruo fall in love with her?Facing a person who has been staring at him since he transferred to another school, silently betting on the emotion of admiration, it doesn't make sense.

And another possibility that lingered in my mind clearly surfaced.

Qu Linggong vaguely felt that maybe his first love happened earlier than in high school as he thought, but the first love object has not changed.

There was once a person, a teenage boy, silently guarding those forgotten memories, and bravely ran towards himself with a whole heart.

And not only did he forget him, but he also trampled on his sincerity.

He misunderstood Zhang Junruo, scolded Zhang Junruo, kicked Zhang Junruo, and even found someone to teach Zhang Junruo...

Qu Linggong thought of what that person said when Xue Ye confessed, he said: Nothing lasts forever, since everything will be lost in the end, why make those fragile and fragile things?

He remembered that he had wept and buried something under the neem tree in the backyard of the teaching building.

That person, he was afraid.

Before that, he asked himself what is eternal in this world.

He finally knew to be afraid.Know not to hurt yourself...

Qu Linggong felt that his heart was throbbing so painfully that it was about to break.

The person who once crossed the distant time and distance and rushed to him regardless of everything, retreated.

Qu Linggong felt that at this moment, he understood Zhang Junruo better than ever before, and understood his panic and uneasiness after hearing his confession.

Of course he will be afraid, he will shrink back, and he will worry that the heart that has just been repaired will be trampled on again...

Why are you so bad...

The fingers were clenched tightly by the side, the nails sank deeply into the palm, and the joints made a rattling sound, but the tingling pain was less than one ten-thousandth of the throbbing pain of the heart.

Heartache, pain to the point of exhaustion.

☆, Xingyi Shuangbi