[Danwanron Hakomae] Hope synaesthesia

Due to force majeure, I have to work overtime.

Complaints and voices of some people deciding to slow down their work gradually sounded around them. After all, the sky outside the office was already completely dark. Black = After work, it is time to return home to enjoy a delicious dinner and a warm kotatsu, and staying here is tantamount to inhuman torture.

Although winter came very early this year.

Normal working hours are actually not difficult, from nine to five, but after realizing that it is time to get off work, the flow of time becomes subtle.This is a manifestation of a psychological gap, seeing the sunset light shining into the room from the window move and become dim little by little, and then be driven away by the cold indoor lights.Gradually, hunger began to erode reason. In order to relieve this feeling, I had to choose to tear open the dry biscuits in the drawer, or ask someone who is free to help make a cup of refreshing coffee. A little soothing.

I don't know when it started, and snow fell from the sky outside.

I only noticed this during a short break. When I leaned on the back of the seat and looked out, I could see myself holding a coffee cup in the reflection of the glass in the snow all over the sky. This look of eagerness to go home is really It's so pitiful, I couldn't help thinking about it, and I couldn't bear to look straight away... Then a white ball in the corner that was not very conspicuous came into view.

Ah, oh—it's that guy.

Unlike his colleagues here who are busy and unfocused because they know that the work will never be finished, he is really much more leisurely.There are no documents on the empty desk, and the computer for office use is not turned on. This person just casually and boldly lay on his seat, as if looking sideways at the window in a daze, or simply fell asleep. That's all.Who knows?In view of the "dangerousness" and "speciality" of this guy with a previous conviction, in the second branch of the No.14 branch of this future agency, almost no one dared to have too deep intentions about him. Minister Qiezhi has a laissez-faire attitude towards him.

But, as for why this guy whose back now looks like a cotton candy slumped on the table would work with their colleagues——

The incandescent lamp above the head suddenly flickered a few times, making a sound that seemed to be a bad connection of the circuit.

"Eh—is it broken?"

"Long live! Can you go home now?"

"Let's have someone try to fix it first."

"When did it start snowing outside? I didn't bring an umbrella."

"Who is to blame for not reading the weather forecast, and it's been a long time, okay?"

One after another, the voices of discussion filled my ears in an instant, and it was inevitable that my concentration, which was not considered focused, was broken up in an instant.Naturally, not many people noticed that the person who was originally lying by the window stood up, his broken hair was slightly disheveled, his pale and almost transparent complexion seemed to be able to glow in the dark, and he was walking like a wandering step. Walk through the corridor between the cubicles, and wave to the head of the department.

"Sorry, I'm not feeling well, so I'll go back first."

"What——" the officer turned his head sullenly, his gaze stayed on the cold and tired face for a moment, and he paused, "Oh, well, since Komaeda-kun, you are not feeling well, please go back and have a good rest."

"thank you very much."

After saying this, Komaeda already felt a little tired, he didn't have the energy to show the other party a grateful smile as usual, turned around and left the office after speaking.Holding on to his consciousness and forcing himself not to lose his composure, he slowly moved to the dressing room to change back into his regular clothes, wrapped a thick scarf around his collar, and did not forget to pick up the umbrella that he was carefully instructed to bring before going out in the morning. Then he dragged himself into the elevator.

Outside the door are colleagues who are busy at work, and inside the door is him, and the slowly closing elevator door completely separates the world on both sides.

Komaeda leaned against the wall, and was alone in the slightly vibrating confined space. Some uncomfortable weightlessness flooded his mind. He closed his eyes, as if drowning in deep water. It's like being in a situation where the sky is spinning.

When no one was around, Komaeda finally showed an expression of pain unbearably, cold sweat trickled down his side cheeks into the cashmere material of the scarf, his right hand tightly clutched the left arm, his whole body trembled uncontrollably, and the tendons on the back of his hand exploded , faintly visible light blue blood vessels under the translucent skin.

It hurts, it hurts, the place where his fingers are holding is the connection between the warm flesh and the cold machinery, the pain is like the bite of thousands of ants, eating away at the mind.

This was a wound healed years ago, and Komaeda knew this better than anyone else.

Although the spirit has undergone rebirth, the memory will not disappear. To this day, I can still clearly recall the severe pain and despair that occurred when I cut off the limbs with my own hands... It was like encountering a dark sea wave, Komaeda weakly Leaning against the wall to pant, leaning his forehead against the cold iron wall, although he was blinking, some dark light and shadows were already shaking in front of his eyes. He didn't quite know how he stayed awake in this illusory pain.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), accompanied by phantom limb pain, a psychological manifestation of feeling that the severed limb is still in pain, Komaeda is well aware of his symptoms, aware of his symptoms, but has no desire to seek treatment.This is not because he is desperate, but because he is too used to the equivalent exchange.

At least he was in so much pain, so there must be some luck that he should get what he wanted.

Komaeda pressed the buttons on every floor once. They should be the only department in the office building that had to work overtime. Even if there were other people, they would not use the elevator at this time, let alone meet him at this moment.Enduring discomfort with such unreasonable certainty, it was already a few minutes after the delay to the first floor. The time was short but enough for him to relax a little. At the position by the door, he gently shook the snow on the umbrella, as if he heard his footsteps, and when he looked back, his light green eyes immediately burst into a gentle smile.

"Komaeda-kun, what a coincidence, are you done with work? I'll pick you up and go home together." Naegi smiled and extended his hand to him.

There are still snow flakes flying outside, and the temperature can’t be called extremely cold, but a layer of pure white snow has accumulated on the road surface, and the soles of the boots will make a creaking sound when stepping on it, which is soft but not harsh. Not too bad, the feeling is somewhere between sand and ice, and the coolness entrained with water vapor is damp and biting.

"Fortunately, I brought an umbrella today."

Seedling's fluffy hair was covered with some thin snow foam, he took off the glove on his left hand and took a breath, the tips of his fair fingers showed a beautiful clear color, then he held Komaeda's right hand, the palm was warm The temperature enveloped his fingers, which were as cold as ice, and he shivered suddenly.

"Hey - it's so cold!"

"I don't feel it anymore after getting used to it." The white-haired young man who said this suddenly sighed deeply, the white mist exhaled from between his lips melted into the cold air, "Mr. Miaomu is so warm, so comfortable."

"You should pay attention to keeping warm." Naegi showed a very helpless expression, moved under Komaeda's umbrella, let him put his hand into the other's pocket, and muttered nervously, "The season is changing recently, There are a lot of people who catch a cold..."

"Oh, is this a harbinger of 'unfortunate'?" Komaeda laughed, "Well, what kind of surprise will the 'Super High School Level Lucky' belonging to Sapling-kun bring me..."

"Don't be like this... What's the 'super high school level' after graduating from high school a long time ago." Sapling was slightly ashamed, "It sounds like an inexplicable shame..."

"Eh? So... is it 'Super High School Director's Luck'?" Komaeda blinked and fell into deep thought, "It sounds like it's more advanced, and it's unique. It's indeed a suitable title for Naegi-kun Woolen cloth."

"Please put an end to your overly exaggerated statement, 'Super social animal luck' senior."

Naegi finally had a headache and used the interrupt skill on Komaeda.

On the way home, Naegi drove the car. The main reason was that both parties felt that it was safer. Komaeda sat in the passenger seat.Although he wanted to lean directly on the shoulder of the seedling next to him, but considering that doing so would interfere with him, he obediently chose to fasten his seat belt after thinking for a while.

"Let's rest for a while before we get home." Naegi turned on the heater in the car, and glanced at him while starting the engine. "You seem to be very tired. Have you been working hard lately?" A bit worried.

"Um... nothing."

Komaeda, who had no choice but to lean against the window, lowered his eyelids sleepily, and the bright lights on the side of Xinglu penetrated the night, outlining the lines of his handsome and elegant side face like jade, revealing a soft light.

Naegi blinked thoughtfully, but quickly turned her head, pulled the handbrake, stepped on the accelerator, pushed the gears and started, concentrating on driving.

"I'll be careful and drive slowly, Komaeda-kun, don't worry."

"Yeah." It was almost an instinctive response, the temperature was so warm that it was almost stunned, and the exhausted spirit let go of the last bit of defense in an overly comfortable environment. Seeing again after a while, Miao Mu had already fallen asleep peacefully. Now, half of the face is sunken in the pile of soft scarves.

"Hey... hey... Komaeda-kun, we're home."

After an unknown amount of time, the awakened Komaeda slowly opened his eyes, his head was as dull as a ball of paste, he blankly watched Naegi lean over to help him unbuckle his seat belt, stretched out in a daze. Put your arms around each other's neck.

"Eh——eh?" Naegi was stunned for a moment, then couldn't laugh or cry, and grabbed his sleeve with his fingers, "Komaeda-kun, I won't be able to move like this..."

Ok?

He looked at him, leaned forward and kissed Miao Mu's lips, carefully and cherishingly.

The person being kissed was startled suddenly.

The night is quiet, there is only each other's small world, the color in his eyes is extremely gentle, softer and holy than the moonlight pouring out of the world, purer and deeper than the night that covers the world, a staggering moment almost makes the seedlings feel lost... such The expression was too difficult for him to understand, like an invisible barrier that had been blocking the two of them for a long time. Seedling couldn't explain the feelings that were circling in his heart at this moment. The desire to understand was intertwined, and he wanted to be a little braver.

How can I get closer to you?Seedling sighed inwardly.

Fortunately, he wasn't confused for too long, and Komaeda came to his senses after being gentle for a while, so he let go of his hand with some remaining regrets, and Naegi subconsciously let out a sigh of relief.

After arriving home, the two quickly took a hot bath to avoid catching a cold. Komaeda came out later, with the sleeves of his yukata wrapped around his shoulders, slowly swaying around the room like an old man, with a long dark-colored haori draped over his shoulders. The sapling who was making dinner in the kitchen scolded him unceremoniously when he saw it, and rushed to the kotatsu in the living room.The white-haired young man with nothing to do had to turn on the TV and start watching some bloody soap flakes, and was so lazy that he lay on the table and peeled the oranges in the fruit basket one by one and picked out all the white threads inside.

When the seedling came over with dinner for two, a row of orange petals was neatly arranged in front of the white marshmallow, and he was nestling in the kotatsu with an innocent and obedient face, lazily Like a marshmallow about to melt.

There is a feeling that should be said to be dumbfounding.

"Komaeda-kun is like a child sometimes..." He couldn't help sighing.

"Hmmm?" Komaeda tilted his head in confusion.

Then, there will probably be a little wine to adjust.

Komaeda has a relatively sensitive constitution to alcohol. It can basically be said to pour a glass, and it is easy to blush after drinking a little, but Naegi is surprisingly good at this. No matter how drunk he is, he is not easy to get drunk. Or the guy who is dismissive because of his gentle demeanor is off the charts.

Sometimes Naegi would drink a little when the two of them are together. At this time, Komaeda would often look at it with one hand on his chin with interest. When Naegi asked why he was puzzled, he would answer. This is probably like a kind of yearning. If you yearn for something that you can't get or don't allow to touch anyway, the more you can't get it, the more you want it, but you can't touch it, then it's enough to look at it like this.

Yeah?Is this enough?

The other party smiled, but smiled without saying a word.

Everyday, this is everyday.

The daily life composed of countless ordinary and trivial things, the happiness called daily happiness formed by countless accidents and miracles.Waking up with each other in the morning light bath, exchanging kisses when you are not very conscious, tidying up each other’s clothes, saying goodbye with reluctance, missing each other during the separation, and missing each other until the unbearable When we meet again, go home together, eat together, complain about TV shows with bizarre plots, read books, watch movies or play games at home, don’t forget to hold each other’s hand when going out for a walk, and help each other dry their hair after bathing, Kissing, making love, telling love words in a logical way, being enveloped by each other's breath and falling asleep, repeating itself.

The ordinary daily life that I thought would soon be broken unexpectedly has a soft and tenacious toughness. My arms are always hurting, but my heart is becoming more and more peaceful and peaceful. This is how daily life is. The young and vigorous edges and corners have experienced countless times. The bump was finally polished into a rounded arc. It turned out that it didn't take much great change to gain happiness. So many darkness and struggles in the past were far away from him.

That's fine.He is very satisfied.