Come over and have a kiss

Two months ago.

At first it was just because of some quarrels, but as he talked, Han Dong became excited, pointed at Cai Kang and said, "Can you fucking have a better attitude! Who will you show your superiority to? You think you know everything and you're just crazy!" Is it B?"

Cai Kang stared at him for a while, unwilling to quarrel, upset, he put his hand on Han Dong's shoulder, "Calm down, this is a school, don't get sick."

Han Dong pursed his lips tightly, his eyes were dangerous, and he shook Cai Kang's hand away. Cai Kang said, "You don't want to be known."

"Don't look at me with that pity!" Han Dong stared at Cai Kang, looking a little hysterical, "You haven't made it clear yet, did you tell others?"

The reason why Han Dong came to Cai Kang was because he heard some gossip from other people.

"I haven't." Cai Kang looked at him quietly, "You are emotionally unstable, you must have been seen. How many times have I told you, should I tell your parents?"

As soon as his parents were mentioned, Han Dong interrupted him and said, "Don't worry about it, what am I telling them? I'm only in charge of giving birth, not raising them. I'm fucking going to the sixth floor and jumping off, and they won't even lift their eyelids." !"

Han Dong is a left-behind child. He was neglected by his parents since he was a child. Cai Kang didn't want to continue talking to him, "You still have your sister..."

Han Dong twitched the corners of his mouth and smiled, and said some stupid things in a daze, and finally turned his head away, and said stubbornly, "But it's only because of blood..."

Cai Kang, "Calm down, do you know what you are going to say now?"

Han Dong sneered, "I know, why don't I know. Do you know what I want to do now? I think, if I jump from such a high building, will they regret it? Or hit them to death... I am sick! I am seriously ill, I dare to die now, as long as they can regret it! Anyway, I can’t be saved, I am sick! I just dare not say, they all say that mentally ill people are mentally ill, I don't want to be an outlier!"

Cai Kang couldn't bear it anymore, and grabbed Han Dong's wrist, "Calm down! What's wrong with bipolar disorder? You're sick and I'm sick too. Let's get sick together! What's there to be ashamed of? You can't do anything but avoid it." What? You said you would learn music with me in elementary school, and then? You told me in junior high school that you would never play the piano again? This is you Han Dong? You just spoil yourself and hate yourself? "

Han Dong slammed his hand away and wanted to leave. Cai Kang panicked, fearing that he would commit suicide, so he hurried forward and hugged him, "Are you fucking crazy? Calm down, Han Dong!"

"Get out." Han Dong pushed him away fiercely, punched Cai Kang in the face, his voice was a little crying, intermittently, "I told you to get out of here. I'm sick, I hate myself, I still What can I do? Cai Kang, you don’t understand. If I don’t smile and pretend to be like everyone else, everyone will alienate me. Zeng Li, you know, he is a living example. I don’t want to be like that, so why not Go to hell, don't get close to me... I don't know what else I will do when I get excited."

He was about to leave, but Cai Kang suddenly caught up, punched him in the face, and said coldly, "If there is fire, you fucked me! So many times, when will I not use you as a trash can doormat? When did I despise you and hate you?"

Han Dong's face was in burning pain, he was suffocating, and there was an impulse in his whole body. He couldn't restrain the demon in his heart, so he went up and punched Cai Kang hard, "Are you a fucking bitch?"

"Yes, I'm cheap, I'm too cheap." Unexpectedly, Cai Kang decisively admitted, enduring the burning pain on his face, and punched Han Dong in the abdomen, "Fight, I'll make you sober!"

The fist landed on his body without sparing any effort, and Han Dong's mouth was blackened, and he scolded him, "Cai Kang... you are fucking bipolar disorder!"

Cai Kang stared at him and smiled, and punched Han Dong on the back against the tree, his body hurt so badly that he couldn't move.

"Yes, we are all sick." He looked down at Han Dong and said.

What Jiang Xiuyu saw was such a scene.

"Only I know about the symptoms he had since junior high school." Cai Kang said to the two, "After the two-month fight, we never spoke a single word."

No wonder Cai Kang came here as soon as he heard about Building D... Zeng Li suddenly understood that only Cai Kang knew that Han Dong could play the piano.

Zeng Li and Fei Li looked at each other, the sound of the piano was sometimes slow and sometimes rapid, showing the unrest in the player's heart.

"Catch him first." Fei Li twitched the corner of his mouth, "It's too fucking infiltrating here."

In the music room, a young man in white was sitting in front of the old piano, two buttons on the top of the white shirt were undone at random, his bangs were long and slender, scattered on his forehead.

There is a schoolbag next to the piano.

The young man closed his eyes, his eyelashes were slender, and his fair fingers were dancing on the keys. Those hands were undoubtedly very suitable for playing the piano.

The three stood at the back door and looked at him. Cai Kang stared straight at Han Dong through the window glass, his eyes trembling slightly.

"What's wrong?" Fei Li asked after noticing the change in Cai Kang's expression.

He didn't know what to do, so he didn't choose to call Han Dong rashly.

"When Han Dong played the piano for the last time in junior high school, he was dressed like this." After Cai Kang explained concisely, he walked inside without saying a word.

"Cai..." Fei Li was stunned for a moment, and this is it?

"Go back." Cai Kang went straight up to stop Han Dong from continuing to play the piano, his gaze dropped, "Stop playing hide-and-seek."

Han Dong waved him away, his voice was tired, "I'll play for a while."

Cai Kang stared at him for a long while, then suddenly said: "Everyone thinks that I have bipolar disorder, not you."

Han Dong put his fingers on the piano without moving, and said, "Sooner or later, he will know it's me."

"I will also tell everyone that it is you." Cai Kang said suddenly.

Fei Li was taken aback, is this the time to say such a thing?

At this time, Han Dong's psychology should be given priority!

He opened his mouth and walked inside to speak, but Zeng Li grabbed him in time and shook his head, "No."

Fei Li stopped in his tracks, half-believing.

Cai Kang and Fei Li are two different people, he is more proactive and direct, Han Dong is not surprised when he heard this.

"I don't want to argue with you. I'm tired. Let me be quiet for a while." Han Dong said.

Seeing this scene, Zeng Li suddenly remembered that Han Dong, who is usually lively and playful, often has such a low-key side.

For example, when he watched Ferry play last time... or when he was in class, he could occasionally notice it.But everyone gets unhappy sometimes, and he doesn't pay attention.

Most of the time, Han Dong was not lively and playful from the bottom of his heart.

"Let you be quiet for a while and then what? What are you going to do?" Cai Kang picked up his schoolbag, and bloodily expressed Han Dong's deepest thoughts word by word, "It's the same as giving up playing the piano back then, now you don't study anymore? Carrying a schoolbag means you want to leave, or escape? Or, do you want to die, feel that life is boring and meaningless, your parents don’t understand, you haven’t accomplished anything, and you can’t see the direction of the future, so you want to shrink back and die ?”

……

After a moment of silence, Han Dong stood up abruptly, grabbed his schoolbag, and looked at Cai Kang indifferently, "Since I know you are still meddling in my business, why are you meddling in my business? I'm already tired, and I don't want to continue pretending at all. If you are sick, you will be sick. If you are excluded, you will be excluded, it doesn't matter."

Sure enough, he had a misunderstanding in his heart, Zeng Li thought.

"Everyone is the same." Cai Kang grabbed Han Dong's wrist to prevent him from breaking free. He looked into Han Dong's eyes and said word by word: "Who is not like this? Do you think I am easy? Every time I make a mistake I feel that I am a waste, and I have failed everyone's expectations. I wish I could cut off my hands and never play the piano again. My brother is not doing his job properly, and my parents have their own preferences. Whose family will be better? Whoever has no difficulties will be better off? "

"I am often confused about what I can do in the future. I feel that I can't accomplish anything now. I want to escape and don't want to continue playing the piano. Learning the piano requires high tuition fees, and my parents put a lot of pressure on me."

"But I want to tell you, Han Dong, the reason we can't see the future now is because we happen to be at this confused age. Don't be a coward, don't be a deserter, I will feel uncomfortable."

Han Dong's body was stiff. Under the moonlight, the four teenagers stood silently in this dilapidated room.

I don't know how long it has passed, but Han Dong suddenly cried, tears streaming down his face, startling Fei Li.

"I can't take it anymore..." Han Dong raised his arms to cover his tearful eyes, and said in a crying voice, "I often feel, I feel like I'm just a pervert, crazy, and I can do anything on impulse... If a person enters the society, it will definitely be a cancer that will harm people, but I don't want to... I just can't control it. "

He kept choking, holding back his tears, and said sobbingly, "I often feel... It would be nice if I died. No one cares about me anyway, and will be sad for me. My father and my mother didn't care since they were young. My sister and I, I can't do anything well, I can't study well, my interest is halfway, I can't do what I promised, and I'm fake... I'm afraid that everyone will hate me, so I force my face to laugh. But I'm really scared... If even my classmates Also alienate me, I... I'm really, really going to break."

"Why are you guys still looking for me? You all know that I'm sick, so why are you rushing to me? Don't save me...I'm hopeless, so do whatever you want."

After that, Han Dong cried and poured out all the words he had held back for a long time. He was very sad, and Cai Kang was also very sad. Zeng Li and Fei Li stood quietly at the door, looking at these two equally sad and lonely People, comfort each other.

The reason why he came to Building D to play the piano and do a series of things today is actually just a sudden desire to do so.

When he heard others talk about bipolar disorder, his mind went blank, and he felt that he could not stay any longer, that he was finished.Impulsive, I didn't want to care about anything, and came here when I came back to my senses.

—— "What else do you do except escape? You said in elementary school that you would learn music with me, and then what? You told me in junior high school that you would never play the piano again? This is you, Han Dong?"

It's not that he doesn't want to, it's just that he is trapped by the nightmare, afraid of everything, and keeps choosing to escape.

"Han Dong..." Zeng Li suddenly spoke, and the voice was amplified in this unusually quiet space.

Fei Li looked down at him in surprise, and waited for the next sentence. Zeng Li pursed his lips and looked calmly, "Although, I said that it might... not be convincing. But... everyone will not be isolated just because someone has some disease... …his."

When seeing Qiao Ran, Zeng Li slowly realized it.

"I'm very cowardly." Zeng Li said, "I'm timid, and I just want to... escape. I want to stay away, thinking that if I don't do anything, I don't say anything, I can do it, it doesn't matter."

"But it's not..."

"We will not isolate a person because of any disease."

"What really isolates you... is just your own heart."

Zeng Li's brown eyes were calm, yes, he gradually realized.

In elementary school, he didn't say a word, enduring all the violence.In junior high school, he is taciturn, does not talk to others, and closes himself.

But if he is braver, braver, talking to his parents, communicating with others, trying to change himself, formalizing himself, and facing shortcomings, then everything will be different.

Like Han Dong, he was trapped by the same nightmare. For countless days and nights, he struggled and fell asleep in childish hope, unwilling to wake up.

Longing to be rescued by someone, but unwilling to open his eyes and catch the ray of light that has always been in front of him.

Fei Li opened his lips slightly, looked down at Zeng Li, his eyes were full of surprise, "Zeng Li..."

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About Han Dong's bipolar disorder, in fact, it was written cryptically before. For example, he was very lively, but occasionally he would be depressed, such as the last time he was with Zeng Li on the basketball court.

Also, when I was with Jiang Xiuyu, I wore big pants and went fishing in the cold weather on National Day. That part of the story was more obvious.

Thanks to the little angels who voted for me or irrigated the nutrient solution~

Thanks to the little angel who irrigated [nutrient solution]:

10 bottles of evak;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!