Lynn doesn't speak

It was hard for Lynn to describe what kind of mood he was in now.

Ideals and reality are always contrary to each other sometimes, and this seems to have become an unchanging law, such as now.Although he really wanted to complain about what kind of Captain America was sought after by a former Soviet Union country, there is no doubt that when he saw some kind of nostalgia for the past slowly appearing in Bucky's eyes, he already understood that his 'buy one' The dream of a house with a garden, a cat, a dog, a rabbit, and a Winter Soldier may not be realized for the time being.

In fact, 70 years later, little attention is paid to Captain America any more than to the invincible Roaring Commandos of World War II.Especially after the New York War, they became more interested in the organization that called itself the Avengers, and compared Captain America's past with the present.However, this does not mean that those dusty histories are no longer remembered, and they just happened to be lucky, or on the other hand, unfortunately, which is not surprising.

Therefore, it is indeed ridiculous that I am naive.

Lowering his eyes and grinning like self-deprecating, Lynn thought silently.

Why would he think that he can hide the Winter Soldier forever where no one knows, why would he think that he has the ability to save him, and why would he think that he can keep those maggot-like shadows away from now on.

"What are you thinking, soldier?"

Of course knowing they couldn't all be caught in this endless silence, someone had to stay awake.He took a deep breath, covered up the panic in his eyes well, and put his boyfriend's shoulders with an impeccable smile.

There was obviously a memory flashback, and Bucky's face was blank for a long time, but Lynn still persisted, and slowly tightened his five fingers.It wasn't until the Winter Soldier woke up suddenly because of the slight pain in his shoulder, and his eyes refocused on one place, that he let go of his hand and asked again: "Tell me what happened?"

"I……"

Rarely would he show such a bewildered expression, Bucky looked at the familiar brown-green eyes of the man, opened his mouth, and his gaze unconsciously fell on the faded poster outside the window: "I seem to be able to Remember something."

No doubt he could think of something.

Following the boyfriend's line of sight, although it is Captain America who occupies most of the screen, his Roaring Commando still has a lot of weight.And on Steve's left hand side, his sniper stayed there quietly, as if he was looking at the Winter Soldier 70 years later, as if they were standing on the wide water, interlacing and overlapping reflections in time .

Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.

The only soldier in the Howling Commando who died for his country, the best friend of Captain America, and the hero who defends freedom and justice.

Anyone who saw someone who was exactly like him in the poster would always realize something, and Lynn felt that Bucky would not be surprised.He could even almost see those incoherent but real fragments flooding every inch of the man's mind like a tide. This was Bucky's first memory and the most important piece of the puzzle, and he would definitely not remain indifferent.

"I know him."

And just as Lynn expected, the voice of the Winter Soldier began to become broken and helpless.He stared at the poster full of history for a long time, until his legs were numb, and then he slowly turned his eyes and met Lin En's indescribable gaze: "...I should know him."

That's you, of course you know.

She nodded, indicating that he was listening.Lynn thought that the Winter Soldier must be talking about his former self now, and was secretly wondering if it was necessary to point it out directly.However, in the next second, the man's supplement made his heart full of mixed feelings.

"That man with the shield, who is he?"

His lips moved, and Bucky looked at him blankly, his eyes widened slightly, his voice was hoarse and panicked:

"I know him."

"..."

Lynn was absolutely certain that if Steve were here now, the never-crying Captain America would have cried aloud, because he damn well wanted to.

After all, across 70 long years of time and wind and snow, travelers who leave home always return.

He never doubted it.

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At the end of the day, Lynn bought all the Captain America biographies and comics in the bookstore and took them home with a distraught Bucky.

"Listen, read this, and then think about him... Who are you all, okay?"

He pushed the man into the sofa and put a glass of water by his hand.Lynn watched Bucky slowly raise his head, as if he was struggling to understand the meaning of his words, and could only desperately keep his vocal cords from vibrating any way they shouldn't.

His lips moved, and the Winter Soldier looked at those familiar brown-green eyes, as if he wanted to say something, but he didn't say anything in the end.But Lynn knew him too well, even so, he could understand every change in his expression, every word of fear he couldn't express.

"I'll always be here, if you wish." She squeezed his hand and almost bit her lip.Lynn sighed, looking at the man with sad and gentle eyes: "No matter what you think of, as long as you still need me, I will be by your side...I promise you."

Gripping it back hard, it seems that in this way, the courage to get close to the past can be drawn from him.Bucky pursed his lips, nodded, reached for the first Captain America comic, took a deep breath, and slowly opened it.

Finding your past self is not an overnight process, at least not for someone who has been brainwashed for 70 years.Lynn didn't expect Bucky to be able to recall all the memories from those half-true stories at once, and Bucky obviously didn't have one, but he knew that he could catch something and spread it on every page. Between the ink-smelling pages, in every line of plausible words, his past and present are intertwined in this dilapidated apartment, gradually depicting the era of wars and the era that he has forgotten out of time, Reflection named James Barnes.

Bucky's reading speed is not fast, because his eyes often stop on a certain page when he thinks of something, and he is in a daze for a whole morning.But even so, he quickly reads all the stories about Captain America and the Howling Commandos.Lin En didn't know how much these stories reminded him, but he could feel that the man was indeed undergoing subtle and slow changes, as if he had gone through 70 years of wind and snow, and he was no longer the suave middle-aged man in the history books. Soldier, but now he no longer exists as a pure Winter Soldier.A soldier who died on the battlefield and a ghost who walked in the dark, these two diametrically opposed identities slowly blended in him, occasionally placing him at the crossroads of the old and new worlds.And at this time, Lynn can see the existence of another person from his face, no matter a muttering with a Brooklyn accent of the last century, or the flashing brightness and determination in his eyes, It will make him meet the Sergeant Barnes who is in high spirits on the battlefield by chance.

Lynn knew Bucky was having dreams these days.His sleep was extremely restless, his breathing was slow and rapid, and he often woke up suddenly in the middle of the night.At this time, he would quietly walk out of the bedroom, sit on the sofa, and stare at the poster of the Howling Commandos in the dark.Until the sun rose, Lynn also slowly walked from the bed to the kitchen, and then began their silent and ordinary day.

Bucky keeps touching the past in this way, and Lynn can't go back to sleep after waking up with him, and they know each other without telling each other, like no one wakes up in the middle of the night and sits alone in the dark , and no one slowly opened their eyes after the temperature around them left, and just kept awake until dawn.

He was still looking forward to being incognito with the Winter Soldier, pretending to be able to pass his life peacefully like this, Lynn knew it very well.

And he also felt that such a self was so ridiculous that he knew that he had no ability to do it, but he still wished that he could give him salvation.Because he was afraid of being forgotten, he would rather watch Bucky struggle to find his lost self than offer the once-and-for-all solution.

I'm just a pompous idiot and a selfish bastard.

Lynn couldn't help thinking this when he was awakened by the Winter Soldier's broken breathing again.He could feel that Bucky hadn't really broken free from the nightmare, but was floating in the shallow layer at the junction of illusion and reality. He didn't know what he dreamed about, and his face was so pale that it was almost transparent.

"Central...sergeant..." His lips moved, and his painful voice quietly dissipated in the air: "Barnes...sergeant, 32...32557..."

After American soldiers were captured during World War II, in order to prevent the enemy from getting information out of their mouths, they would repeat their military ranks and bugle numbers during interrogations.Lynn doesn't know Bucky's past 70 years ago, and he has no intention of sharing it with him.But obviously, he is always thinking of the most important things, those imprints that cannot be destroyed even by 70 years of being a Winter Soldier and countless brainwashing, which is the proof that James Barnes has survived.

Lynn was impossible to stop.Even if Bucky thinks about it every time, it means that the final parting is one step closer, and he can't beg him to stop and let the world stand still before everything finally happens.

He once said to Professor X that when he finds an absolutely safe shelter for the Winter Soldier, he will make the only choice.

And now, it's time.

"Barnes."

Sitting on the edge of the bed and waiting for a while, watching the Winter Soldier struggle to wake up from his dream again.Lin En didn't maintain the illusion that they knew each other well, but turned around and called out his name for the first time.

A familiar voice revealed a familiar but unfamiliar surname.Bucky was stunned for a long time before slowly looking at the person beside him, his eyes flickering, as if he had keenly noticed that something had changed helplessly between them.

"I'll book a flight to New York tomorrow, the two of us."

Lynn's voice was flat and unmistakable in the darkness.But only he himself knows how crazy the rushing undercurrent is under the still ice layer, and how many heart-piercing pains will be ground in his chest.

"Go home and have a look." He may have smiled weakly twice: "Whether it's Brooklyn or anywhere else, you have to go back there."

"..."

His eyes widened incredulously, as if he couldn't imagine that Lynn would open his mouth like this.Bucky was silent for a long time, until the black night outside the window began to be stained with the gray of dawn, he shook his head lightly, his voice was dry and hoarse: "I can't go back."

There's still an important piece of the puzzle missing from his memory, Bucky knows, and that can only be found in a figure from the same past.But he also thought of his years as a Winter Soldier. Fate split him into two diametrically opposed parts. Bearing the 70-year blizzard, he would never be able to return to his homeland with such a broken body.

And, "I can't see him."

He said so.

Of course Lynn knew who the "he" Bucky was talking about, and he could also understand why he didn't want to meet Captain America.After all, the Winter Soldier and Barnes are already two people, no matter how reluctant they have to admit it, he still can't blend these two completely different people together, and going to see Steve will only increase his troubles.

"Okay then, if you don't want to see it, don't see it."

Taking a deep breath, Lynn said slowly, "But you should go to New York...whether it's for memory or something else. Captain is working for S.H.I.E.L.D. now and lives in Washington. You don't have to worry about bumping into him in Brooklyn. .”

Lynn didn't mention going to Professor X to solve the brainwashing, and Bucky didn't realize it either.He lowered his eyes for a moment, wondering whether it was necessary to go back to New York, and finally nodded slowly.

"Then we'll be back?"

The flesh and blood hand stretched forward, tightly grasping the corner of Lynn's clothes.Bucky raised his head, looked at his eyes gradually brightened by the dawn, and asked so gently, like a child who was afraid of being abandoned.

"……certainly."

My nose was sore, and I almost shed tears like that.Lynn suppressed the sobs in his throat, trying to show a smile, but found that he couldn't lift the corners of his heavy mouth no matter what.

"We definitely will."

If you still want to come back.

With red eyes, he could only promise so.

The author has something to say: I was super sad when I wrote this chapter, the best brother in the world, he is so kind and good, but he was treated like this because of the fucking Hydra QAQ

After ps, I suddenly want to write Dun Dongwen QAQ

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Boots babes!