Dazed

Cao Jingxing came in from outside the dormitory with two cups of hot coffee, and placed them on Qi Zheng's desk in front of the window. Qi Zheng frowned slightly, took a sip from the cup, put it down again, tilted his head, and looked through the glass window Looking at the scenery outside, in the distance, the shadow of the science and technology building can be vaguely seen, standing in the cold wind as always, and he sketched in his mind the scene of Guan Xia standing there, with a decadent expression and despair in his eyes.

Cao Jingxing stood beside Qi Zheng with one hand in his trouser pocket, calmly picked up another cup, took a sip, and watched the desolate scenery outside the window with Qi Zheng, not in a hurry to ask about him, just quietly waiting for him to take his own initiative After clearing your mind, speak again.

"I went to the police station in the morning and have already reported the case." Cao Jingxing thought for a while, and said what they had planned before.

"Okay." Qi Zheng nodded, and subconsciously tapped the table with his fingers, and felt his neck was a little tight, so he couldn't help tugging at his collar.

Cao Jingxing glanced at his slender neck and the faintly exposed wheat-colored collarbone, he couldn't help his Adam's apple twitching, and there seemed to be a look of satisfaction on his lips.

"Is that boy who committed suicide by jumping from a building in your dormitory building?" Cao Jingxing asked after a while.

"Well, different majors, from the same school." Qi Zheng said hesitantly, Cao Jingxing's words brought him back to the scene before Guan Xia's death, and his thoughts were disturbed.

"Do you know the reason why he committed suicide?" Cao Jingxing asked again.

Qi Zheng's throat tightened, and he raised his cup and took a sip of hot coffee. The hot liquid flowed down his esophagus, causing a burning pain in his chest. The confession was rejected by me."

"So he likes men." Cao Jingxing raised his eyebrows slightly, and said calmly, although there was surprise in his tone, he was still very calm.

Qi Zheng looked at him in surprise when he heard this, with a troubled expression on his face, and said, "Don't you think it's strange?"

"You say gay? Why is it strange? Is it wrong to love someone?" Cao Jingxing also looked at Qi Zheng suspiciously, and said, "It's the 21st century now, and your thinking is still so old."

"If a man likes a man, he will get AIDS. It's disgusting." Qi Zheng frowned his bushy eyebrows, struggling a little, but he still insisted on his point of view.

"Okay." Cao Jingxing stopped discussing this with Qi Zheng, but asked quietly, "Then why are you feeling guilty now?"

Qi Zheng was inexplicably dumb, and Cao Jingxing continued to ask, "Since you think you are right, why are you still responsible for his death?"

It was probably because the light was too bright. Qi Zheng felt that Cao Jingxing in his sight was inexplicably dazzling. He replied: "I should be more tactful. If I hadn't been so disgusted when he confessed to me, he might not have committed suicide."

"Let him feel that you are not completely uninterested in him? Is that what you mean?" Cao Jingxing laughed suddenly, piercing him mercilessly, and said, "Qi Zheng, it's useless for you to think like this. You will remind yourself that you have a life on your shoulders, and this, maybe it is what the other party wants, and you will always remember him."

Cao Jingxing's words stabbed Qi Zheng's heart like a knife, his expression froze immediately, his mind was even more troubled, like a sleepy beast, he asked at a loss, "What should I do?"

Cao Jingxing's eyes were deep, and his handsome appearance was the perfect weapon for him to pack himself. Many times, as long as he made a worried expression, others would be fooled, especially those who were less thoughtful, such as the man in front of him, such as that toe A high-spirited but easy-to-use woman, he knew that Qi Zheng's cognition in his heart had begun to be disturbed, and he couldn't help feeling an unspeakable pleasure. Hearing Qi Zheng's doubts, he coaxed softly: "You move to I'll stay there for two days."

Qi Zheng frowned, and stubbornly refused: "No, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Cao Jingxing and Qi Zheng looked at each other with disapproval written on their faces, but Qi Zheng nodded without doubt even though his face was still conflicted.

"Alright then." Cao Jingxing compromised and said, "I'll move back here."

Qi Zheng objected subconsciously, "I'm not that fragile, you don't have to be so..."

"My sleepwalking is almost cured." Cao Jingxing interrupted Qi Zheng forcefully, and said, "You don't have to worry."

Qi Zheng was a little angry, "That's not what I meant."

"Or do you think I will like you too?" Cao Jingxing said with a smile again.

Qi Zheng was taken aback, then he clenched his fist and punched Cao Jingxing on the shoulder unbearably, and said with a frown, "Don't fucking be joking."

Cao Jingxing smiled and said nothing, and the matter of his coming back to live was settled like this. Although Qi Zheng felt that it was unnecessary, he couldn't help feeling a little at ease in his heart.

After dinner at night, there was a knock on the door, Qi Zheng opened it suspiciously and saw that the person who came was Chu Chu, who was breathing a little.

"I plan to go to the place where Guan Xia passed away to light a candle for him and see him off. Do you want to come together?"

With a trace of worry on Qi Zheng's face, he pondered for a while and said, "Go ahead, wait for me."

Chu Chu nodded and stood outside the corridor waiting for Qi Zheng. After a while, Qi Zheng and Cao Jingxing came out together and waved to Chu Chu.

"You know Guan Xia too?" Chu Chu raised his eyes and looked at Cao Jingxing who had suddenly come back with some doubts.

Cao Jingxing tilted his head, and said normally: "Alumni, if something like this happens, can't I go see him off?"

Qi Zheng also looked at Chu Chu suspiciously, and said with disgust, "Why are you talking so much nonsense?"

Chu Chu shook her head and said, "No, I'm just asking casually, then let's go."

The night is dark, the wind is howling, the dark clouds cover the sky and the moon, rolling up thousands of layers of turbulent water vapor, but the night sky near the horizon in the distance shows some orange red strangely, blazing like blood, rushing like flames.

The strong wind of Hulala shook the branches, and the rustling sound of the branches and leaves was very similar to the crying of human beings, which added a gloomy feeling for no reason. Same, erase them in the lives of those around you.

Chu Chu drooped a pair of thick eyebrows, his face was full of sorrow, the strong wind made his hair roar, he took a little effort to take out the white candle and paper money prepared in the bag, the wind was too strong, Cao Jingxing found a stone to press On the paper money, Qi Zheng shielded himself from the wind with his hands, and carefully lit a few candles. After a few clicks, the candles ignited tremblingly.

Chu Chu took a breath, burned the paper money in his hand, and muttered in his mouth: "Guan Xia, Guan Xia, although we don't have much friendship in our life, we know each other anyway. You can't think about leaving, and I feel uncomfortable, no I know what troubles you have experienced before you were alive, I only hope that after you die, you can forget all the troubles in the world, and be a happy ghost, go to the palace of the king of hell, perform well, and reincarnate to become rich and powerful good family."

The small flames are extremely small in the dark environment, and the paper money burns into bursts of flames and then turns into a little bit of ashes, making the deep environment look extraordinarily bleak.

Qi Zheng listened to Chu Chu's nonsense chatter, his eyes flickered, he still couldn't understand Guan Xia's thoughts, and it was difficult to understand, but death is the most important thing, no matter what he did before, he said sincerely : "Guan Xia, I hope your next life will be smooth and happy."

Chu Chu muttered again: "I heard that you are troubled by love so you can't think about it. I hope you can find a girl who you like and likes you in your next life. The two of you will live together happily and happily for a lifetime and have a litter of little kids. I did all the things I never had time to do in my life.”

Hearing Chu Chu's words, Qi Zheng moved his lips, but he still didn't speak, and stood aside with Cao Jingxing who had been very quiet, watching Chu Chu squatting on the ground, burning paper money bit by bit.

When the burning was almost over, the silent Cao Jingxing also said for the first time, "Go all the way."