nostalgia

The weather is not good, and the dark clouds are also piled up together. Looking up at the sky, there is a feeling that the world is getting smaller and more crowded.

But Yu Xi likes the weather like this.

If the sky is clear and the sun is peaceful, it will be too dreamy and unreal, but if it is pouring rain, it will be too bad and affect the mood.

In this way, just right.

Zheng Ran once said to him: Yu Xi, you are too hard to please.

Yu Xi thought about it, um, it is indeed so.

After walking through the last step, he finally found Zheng Ran's tombstone. Looking at the familiar face on it, he finally let out a sigh.

When things turned out like this, no one thought about it, but when it happened, everyone could only sigh helplessly, powerless.

He thought that he would never forget Zheng Ran's face before he died, his expression of relief and regret, his lips still slightly opened and closed, but he couldn't utter half a syllable, this image has always stayed in his mind, Then it was played repeatedly in Yu Xi's light sleep.

In fact, Yu Xi has always known that Zheng Ran did it on purpose. He deliberately pretended to shoot Yu Xi in front of the police/police. He just wanted a relief. He didn't want to stay in that dark place, so he used in such an extreme way.

But the police/police believed it was true, and fired first, so Zheng Ran's body fell down slowly, and his hand wanted to grab Yu Xi, but he made up for it a second before he touched it. Guns, in the end it was futile.

No matter how much Yu Xi hated him during this time, it disappeared under his eyes. Strictly speaking, all of this was caused by Yu Xi. This is an unshirkable responsibility.

Gently stroking the photo made of white porcelain, Yu Xi moved her lips and said, "I'm sorry, Zheng Ran."

A voice from behind called him: "Yu Xi."

Looking back and seeing Jiang Luyu in formal attire, Yu Xi wondered, "Why are you here?"

"A friend of mine's father died."

"Oh, I'm here to see Zheng Ran."

"Ah."

The atmosphere instantly became a little awkward and subtle. As for the reason, it was because there were more or less changes in their hearts, just in the past two months.

Zheng Ran is a very loving person. He didn't care about Jiang Luyu's shoulder injury when he took them on the road. At that time, Jiang Luyu was still feverish. He promised Jiang Luyu a simple bandage and a tetanus shot.

Their "hiding point" was in a small town far from the urban area. After settling down, Yu Xi and Jiang Luyu started a life of captivity. Of course, the two were separated and had different meanings.

At first, Zheng Ran was still immersed in the shadow of killing someone, and from time to time he was made nervous by the surrounding noises. This period only lasted for about a week. Fortunately, he was trapped in his own world, and he didn't care about Yu Xi. To trouble Jiang Luyu, Yu Xi often took advantage of this gap to secretly run to Jiang Luyu's place to help him with medicine and bring him something to eat. The guards more or less knew the relationship between Zheng Ran and Yu Xi, Even after symbolically blocking him a few times, he turned a blind eye.

Then after Zheng Ran came out of the shadows, he began to notice Yu Xi's abnormality. One day he secretly followed Yu Xi, and found that they were secretly having a "secret meeting"!Zheng Ran was once again dazzled by anger, and almost hurt Jiang Luyu again. If Yu Xi hadn't tried his best to stop him, maybe Zheng Ran would have strangled Jiang Luyu to death.

That day, Zheng Ran, who was furious, forced sex with Yu Xi regardless of Yu Xi's struggle.Afterwards, seeing his frown and defensive posture in his sleep, Zheng Ran felt a little regretful, but that self-blame was quickly replaced by joy. The wish that had been in his heart for so many years finally came true. It belongs to him!

The next day Yu Xi secretly ran to find Jiang Luyu while Zheng Ran was asleep. For some reason, at that moment, she just wanted to see him.After seeing Yu Xi's unnatural way of walking, Jiang Luyu finally understood what he had experienced yesterday, his fists were clenched unconsciously, and the whitening of his knuckles also proved how angry he was at the moment.

"Let's find a way to escape!" Jiang Luyu said.

Yu Xi's sudden change of attitude made Zheng Ran a little puzzled, but in the end he was overjoyed. While complacent, Yu Xi finally understood that he was alright, and at the same time fell into a fascination unconsciously.These days are undoubtedly difficult for Yu Xi. Greeting a person he has never liked with a smile on his face makes him sick to the core, but facing such a prison, he does not want to stay for a moment longer.

For Yu Xi, Zheng Ran still dotes on him very much, and basically responds to every request. If he puts everything aside, he can be regarded as a good lover, but who can say for sure about feelings, if you don’t love, you don’t love, no matter how good he is. useless.

The difficult week finally passed, and when everything was ready, Yu Xi was like a bird leaving its cage.

Before Yu Xi left that day, he added some medicine to the water Zheng Ran drank—thanks to Zheng Ran’s despicable methods when they had sex for the first time—coincidentally, Zheng Ran’s stomach suddenly felt uncomfortable , Not long after Yu Xi left, Zheng Ran vomited out, but they were chased back before they ran far.

In the end, of course, only Jiang Luyu was the one who suffered. In a rage, Zheng Ran punched him hard. Originally, Jiang Luyu's health improved a little, but these blows brought him back to the original point. No matter how much Yu Xi cried and begged Zheng Ran Ran refused to give up until Jiang Luyu passed out.

Then, Zheng Ran ordered his subordinates not to let them see each other no matter what, turned around and angrily dragged Yu Xi back to the room.

"What do you think I'm sorry for you? You have to run away from me, do you love Jiang Luyu that much?!"

"I told you that Jiang Luyu and I are just friends, how many times do you have to talk to yourself?!"

"Friend? If it was just a friend, would you care so much about him, would you cry and beg me? Yu Xi, you are not that kind of person."

"What can these prove? It can only show that he is a friend I care about very much. Are you naive?"

"Okay." Zheng Ran raised his hand to signal Yu Xi to stop, "Let's put this aside first, let me ask you, I've been so kind to you, why did you run away?"

Imprisoned in such a place, it will never be possible to live a normal life. Who wouldn't want to escape?stupid?Although she thought so in her heart, Yu Xi knew that at this time she must not confront Zheng Ran head-on, so she lowered her eyebrows and pretended to have considered it seriously: "It's very good here, I don't have to be as busy as before. I have nothing else to do but work every day. It’s just that getting used to it is really scary, I feel empty when I’m used to being busy and suddenly idle, it’s actually the same as going to jail, I want to be free.”

Zheng Ran's tone suddenly softened: "I really didn't care about your feelings, it's my fault. But we really can't go out like normal people, I'm sorry, but believe me, it's over This time we will be free."

Yu Xi didn't dare to look directly into Zheng Ran's eyes, he was afraid that the disgust in his eyes would show unconsciously, he lowered his head and said: "I should be the one who said I'm sorry, I'm the one who hurt you, but Zheng Ran, You think the problem is too simple, this is not a trivial matter to avoid the limelight, you will be wanted for the rest of your life, and you can't really be free. Listen to me, let's surrender, okay, you didn't intend to kill , you're just... Anyway, if I intercede for you or find some relationship, you won't be in jail for too long, and there will always be a bright future, so you won't live in such panic like now, okay? "

Pushing Yu Xi away violently, Zheng Ran's face instantly turned pale: "No! I can't go to jail, I don't want to go to jail even if I die, not even for a year! I'm going crazy, don't say any more!"

Yu Xi didn't dare to instigate any further, so she could only lower her head and keep silent, then, she gently hugged Zheng Ran and said, "Okay, I won't talk anymore, don't get excited."

"Yu Xi, will you leave me, please don't leave, I only have you."

"Okay, don't leave, I won't leave." Yu Xi patted Zheng Ran's back lightly, it's no wonder if he didn't leave! "Zheng Ran, I'm really sorry, it's all my fault for letting you bear one life, but do you know, I can't let you bear another life."

"Another one?"

"Aren't you going to kill Jiang Luyu alive? Then I'll kill you again." Seeing Zheng Ran's eyes that started to turn cold, Yu Xi still insisted and continued: "I have no other intentions. Let me ask you a question first, in your eyes, am I a kind person?"

"Although you have a bad temper, I know that your heart is kind."

"In my heart, Jiang Luyu is just one of my friends. He was somehow involved, and he might even die because of it. Do you think I'm sorry? Can I not care? If someone uses you someday If you threaten me, I will do the same. I have few friends, so I care about my friends. Is it wrong? I just don’t want him to be hurt for no reason. Similarly, I don’t want you Annihilated your kindness, can you understand what I mean?"

After a pause for a few seconds, Zheng Ran compromised: "Then what do you want?"

Yu Xi shook her head: "I don't want to do anything, I just don't want you to kill another person by mistake."

"Okay, I promise you, I won't kill him."

"I'm satisfied, anyway, he has his own life, if he died on his own because you didn't take care of his injuries, then I can't blame you. It's just that I blame myself...forget it, Anyway, in this kind of real society, people’s kindness will always be polished, and I’m just ahead of time. Generally speaking, thank you Zheng Ran.” Yu Xi walked to the window lonely, and after a sigh, she Hearing Zheng Ran's voice, the corners of his mouth couldn't help but rise.

"As long as you promise that you won't fall in love with him and won't run away with him again, I'll let you take care of him occasionally."

Although he was happy, Yu Xi didn't show it on his face at all. He turned around and smiled bitterly: "I never loved him, don't worry about that. As for you, I don't love you either, it's just——I can try, just Just try."

This is Yu Xi, if the change is too big, there must be a ghost, Zheng Ran smiled and hugged him like a child.

For Zheng Ran, this is already a great favor, he will not expect too much, this is enough.

Yu Xi couldn't laugh at all, he owed Zheng Ran too much, but he still had to deceive him desperately, Zheng Ran was right, there was a kind part of his heart, and he felt sorry for everything.

In the days that followed, Yu Xi lived cautiously, and did not often ask to see Jiang Luyu. Every time she asked, she seemed to be saying something insignificant, such as: "Why is it not time for dinner yet? Hey, starting today It's early, why don't I go and see Jiang Luyu, I can eat when I come back, do you want to go with me?"

Every time I go there, the time is not too long, and occasionally I help Jiang Luyu change her dressing. After Zheng Ran went to "supervise" Yu Xi twice, he never went there again.

"Did he... embarrass you?"

Yu Xi paused for a while while holding the cotton swab, and did not answer. The heartache in Jiang Luyu's eyes flashed away, and he said, "I'm sorry."

On the contrary, Yu Xi laughed: "You are not joking, you have nothing to be sorry for me, I should say sorry."

"If I didn't say run away..."

"Even if you didn't say it, I would have said it. Why are you blaming yourself?" Yu Xi interrupted him.

The iodine stained the wound, Jiang Luyu grinned in pain, Yu Xi hurriedly put down his things: "Does it hurt, does it hurt?"

"Nonsense, let me try stabbing you, hiss—"

Yu Xi suppressed the words of counterattack, and rolled her eyes to herself, "Then let me blow it up for you."

"No, no need." Jiang Luyu moved back a little.

"Why don't you use it, it won't hurt so much, come on, hoo..."

"True, really, no need." Jiang Luyu suppressed a smile while hiding.

"Come here."

Right between the lightning and the flint, Yu Xi lost her balance and fell towards Jiang Luyu...

Lips to lips—Of course it didn't happen, but Yu Xi still fell into Jiang Luyu's arms. If there was a third party by his side at that time, he would have seen Jiang Luyu's instantly purple face and trembling lips .

Because it was Yu Xi's furry head that made intimate contact with Jiang Luyu, and the one that hit the bull's-eye was... the wound on Jiang Luyu's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't do it on purpose - I just told you not to move." As he spoke, Yu Xi began to "ravage/ravage" Jiang Lu Yu's worsening wound again.

This time, Jiang Luyu obediently didn't move, because - he hadn't recovered from the pain at all, and when his whole body began to feel inexplicably uncomfortable, Jiang Luyu really wanted to slap Yu Xi away: ya Yeah, don't you know I'm ticklish?But it's embarrassing to say it.

Just bear it, Jiang Luyu's face gradually turned red, his lips began to tremble slightly, and his body shuttled back and forth on the edge of pain and itching.

Generally, under such circumstances, the human brain will have some poor contact, which may be caused by lack of oxygen. For example, at this very moment, Jiang Luyu kissed Yu Xi's forehead fiercely without knowing what kind of wind was blowing.

The fragrance of Yu Xi's hair mixed into Jiang Luyu's breath all of a sudden, and he felt that the wound didn't hurt so much, so he closed his eyes naturally, and stilled this beautiful picture.

On the other hand, Yu Xi's eyes opened like copper bells, and suddenly he thought of everything in these years, and his heart instantly softened. This feeling shocked him greatly.It should...maybe...not.

The two once again showed a good tacit understanding, and almost at the same time, they separated like lightning.

"Uh, um, I, I, I'm ticklish, don't you know?" The person who finally regained his senses hastily explained.

"No, I don't know." Does being ticklish have anything to do with kissing me? !Of course, Yu Xi chose not to say these words wisely.

"That, that, um, do we still have to run away?"

"Of course! Do you want to be imprisoned here for the rest of your life? But this time we must plan more carefully, and it will be over if we fail."

"Ah."

"Then, then I'll go first, if I stay too long, Zheng Ran will be suspicious."

"Okay." When Yu Xi came to the door, Jiang Luyu said again: "Hey—then you should be careful, remember...to protect yourself."

Half a month later, Nepal.

Yu Xi's feet were tied by an iron chain, but the iron chain was wrapped with a layer of cotton cloth, after all, Zheng Ran couldn't bear to hurt him.

"This is the second time you have escaped, don't blame me for being cruel. This is not China, so even if you want to escape, it will not be so easy." Zheng Ran looked at him condescendingly, obviously wishing to strangle him to death, but he still couldn't be cruel.

Yu Xi seemed not to hear it, she lowered her head and stared straight at the ground.

"Did you never love me? No, it should be said that you never thought of loving me? What you said before was just a stopgap measure, all lies, just to protect that Jiang Luyu?" Zheng Ran There was no rage in his eyes, only sadness and self-mockery left. He didn't understand what he couldn't do well, so he tried his best to love Yu Xi, even if Yu Xi wanted the stars in the sky, he would try his best Go pick it up, why can't Yu Xi see such a strong love, why can't he respond to even a little bit?

"Jiang Luyu and I are just..." Yu Xi finally opened his mouth. After a pause for half a second, he said the next two words as if he was weak: "Friend."

friend—?Why does Yu Xi feel that he has lost the confidence to speak this time, and there seems to be a little change in his heart, like a guilty conscience, even he himself wants to ask himself this question, is it really just a friend?Don't you feel anything else?Having known Jiang Luyu for four years, and having been under the same roof for so long, their personalities and habits are very compatible. Yu Xi has never thought that there will be a day when they will be separated. Has she never thought about it or is she unwilling to think about it?He even felt that it would be fine if they lived like this.

But does that count as love?It's not that simple, if you love him, you've already loved him, why wait until now, it should be said - I like living with him.

Zheng Ran heard this kind of words too much, so he didn't realize Yu Xi's speed and tone of voice. Kind."

After speaking, he opened the door and walked out without looking back.

From love to hate and back to love, Zheng Ran has endured a lot in his heart. The two extreme emotions tortured him so much that he was not like himself, but when he finally broke through the shackles, he still couldn't see the comfort he deserved, God It seems that there is no particular preference for him, giving him darkness, but never giving him dawn.

Yu Xi and Jiang Luyu hadn't seen each other since they escaped for the second time and were captured, and Yu Xi couldn't say any more obscene words.Meeting Jiang Luyu again was the fifth day in Nepal.

That day, the weather was overcast.

Ever since the conversation with Yu Xi, Zheng Ran has never stepped into Yu Xi's room openly, and only came to see him when he was asleep. There is a square glass window on the door of Yu Xi's room. Zheng Ran just looked at him through this window, never went in.

He knew that Yu Xi didn't want to see him.

On this day, Zheng Ran strode into Yu Xi's room in a hurry, but his face was calm and composed. He helped Yu Xi up, his eyes seemed to be smiling: "You want freedom, right, I'll give it to you."

Yu Xi stared blankly at Zheng Ran who gently took out the key and untied the chain on his foot, what did he say, set me free?What's the meaning?Before he could figure it out, Zheng Ran had already held his hand.

"what are you doing?"

"Haven't I explained it? Let you go free."

For a moment, Yu Xi's eyes flashed with joy, and on the contrary, Zheng Ran's eyes flashed with sadness.

"Listen, people inside, this place is surrounded, you can't escape, put down your weapons and release the hostages. I'll say it again, people inside..." The voice came from the loudspeaker, Yu Xi looked at Zheng Ran in surprise.

"Why, are you unhappy that you are finally free?"

No wonder Zheng Ran said that, so he already knew that the police had found them!Zheng Ran took Yu Xi's hand and walked outside. One second before he saw the people outside, he took out his gun and pointed it at Yu Xi's head.

"You never know how much I love you. You only watch what you want to see, listen to what you want to hear, and don't care about anything else. Why do you think I fell in love with such a self-willed and arrogant person? Yu Xi, Don't do this again in the future, it's too easy to hurt people, find someone you love to marry in the future, no matter who it is, only such a person will make you different."

"You said you didn't love Jiang Luyu, I believed you, but you called his name in a dream; you said you would try to like me, and I believed you too, but you ran away after a few days, why do you always Duplicity? Now you say you want to be free, but I will grant you and let you go, so will you be moved a little bit in your heart now?"

"I've been forcing you to stay by my side in my way, treating you well and everything you want, I really want to see what your heart is made of, why has it never melted? Forget it, forget it. Until now... I set you free, this is the last thing I can give..."

The person on the tombstone smiled brightly, like the way Yu Xi first met him.

Jiang Luyu looked at Yu Xi, and Yu Xi's gaze stayed on the photo. Jiang Luyu knew that Zheng Ran still held a certain amount of weight in Yu Xi's heart. Even if it didn't belong to the category of love, such an ending was still for Yu Xi. It's hard to accept, I don't know what state of mind I am for a while, I am not happy, nor sad, like I have escaped into Buddhism, after going through too many things, people will change after all.

"Then, I'll go first." Jiang Luyu said.

"Well, I should go too."

Since they were rescued, they haven't lived together. Maybe there are too many things to sort out, or maybe they don't dare.

So, run counter to it.

"Jiang Luyu."

Seemingly hearing Yu Xi calling him, Jiang Luyu turned around and saw that his back was still facing her, Jiang Luyu smiled wryly, and then continued walking.

"Jiang Luyu."

This time, Jiang Luyu must have heard correctly, it was indeed Yu Xi who called him, and when he turned around, Yu Xi still had his back turned to him.

"If -- after two years, we still haven't found the one who really belongs to us, let's...be together."

Yu Xi spoke behind his back because he didn't want to be embarrassed face to face, but Jiang Luyu didn't answer a word.

Five seconds later, when there was no sound behind him, Yu Xi raised her leg in embarrassment and wanted to leave.

"One year!" Jiang Luyu stopped him, "Yu Xi, if we haven't found that person after one year, we'll be together, okay? I don't want to spend so long waiting."

Yu Xi turned around and smiled: "Okay."

Turning around and going our own way, one year is actually not short, but it is worth it to test whether we are really suitable for each other.

I believe that the person we are looking for throughout our lives may be each other.

It's not a big deal to come and go separately, as long as we know that we will meet one day, that's enough.