I beg my thigh to love me again [Entertainment]

The camera is from far to near, and after a blur, there are crowds of people, in groups, opening and closing their mouths, there is no sound, but the noise of chirping can be heard in the ear, through the screen, feel Seeing their vigorous vitality, looking at the familiar faces on the screen, Shen Xian felt his heart was hit hard. He wanted to reach out and click the mouse to turn off the video, but for some reason, he just I feel that my hand is so heavy that I can barely move it.

He forced himself to look away, but found that he couldn't do it at all, it seemed that someone was forcefully breaking his head, forcing him to look at these things that he couldn't bear to look at at all.

The film has not undergone any processing. It seems to be a colorful silent film. Many places have been re-shot or skipped the timeline. The plot is not coherent and the time is very long. When the film ended abruptly and he woke up from the trance, it was already getting dark outside.

He didn't move for a long time, raised his hand to touch his cheek, it was cold, his tears had dried, his eyes were very sore at this time, he closed his eyes gently, and when he opened them again, it was already a moment Things will happen after the clock.

The past that he thought he had forgotten finally appeared in his mind at this moment. Compared with the previous few times when he had a headache and coma, the recovery of real memory this time seemed too gentle, and it slowly They returned to Shen Xian's mind, and together with the pictures on the computer, they appeared in front of his eyes in a staggered manner, calmly recalling the past that he had accidentally forgotten.

Shen Xian touched the mouse and turned off the video, his fingertips were still shaking, not because of recalling the past, and he couldn't explain his current situation, for nearly a year, he firmly believed that Mo Yu'an regards the plots and stories in the script as his real life. This has long been a firm fact in his heart. Although he has long guessed, when he recalls everything that belongs to "Shen Xian" , he felt more bewildered and helpless.

It wasn't like his life. Shen Xian's past was more like someone else's life. He clearly knew that he was Shen Xian. Mo Yu'an didn't actually exist, but only existed in the script in front of him. , but he just couldn't "substitute" himself into Shen Xian.

Or maybe, it's not that he really can't "substitute", but because he doesn't want to substitute.

Knowing a story from someone else's mouth and the feeling of experiencing this story are completely different things. Shen Xian's heavy eight years almost made him unable to breathe. Those pains and heart palpitations were finally no longer a Visions of nothingness, well carried in a memory long enough to almost materialize and overwhelm him.

It is a video that is a hundred times longer and a thousand times longer than "Yin of Elm", and unlike "Yin of Elm", it is full of youth and vitality, which makes people feel excited and their mouths are full of joy. Can't help but bring out a smile.

The memories of these eight years also have older memories, which seem to have nothing but pain and struggle. Occasionally, there is a hint of bright color, which is also covered by more dark colors.

He finally couldn't say those sarcastic remarks about "Shen Xian also likes Lu Yu", and he finally fully understood Shen Xian's strong sense of self-loathing and self-denial after she fell in love with Lu Yu, and "Shen Xian"'s love for Lu Yu. Hate and love, the purest love of "Mo Yu'an" are intertwined, his heart seems to be pressed by a weight of thousands of catties, and there is no gap to breathe.

All his cognitions were shattered at this moment, and the old "Shen Xian" seemed to be sneering at him, with cold eyes: You idiot.

Yes, he is a fool, a fool who can only escape, who uses such absurd memories to cover up the pain and embarrassment of the past, and whitewash the scene of happiness and joy.

But these scenes are still a mirror image after all, and they are broken if they are broken.And he, an idiot, now has to endure double the pain compared to then.

Those familiar and unfamiliar memories played back in his mind over and over again, but what sounded in his ears was the unique laughter of young people in "The Shade of Elms".

"The Shade of Elm" is the starting point of a period of his life, but it is also the end of a period of his life. He bears the expectations and ambitions of a young man, and also puts an end to this period of expectations and ambitions.

Shen Xian never said how much he expected for the film "Yin Yu", and the loss of this film that ended without a problem, so much so that he can't forget it until now.But everyone knows it, but no one knows how deep it is.

What he destroyed was not just a TV series, his dream and his life were completely rewritten after it ended and after he met Lu Yu.

Shen Xian took out the CD and put it back. He stood up, only to realize that he was already hungry. As soon as he left the room, Aunt Zhang stood at the door of his room, hesitating, as if wanting to Don't go in.

"Aunt Zhang." He hadn't drank water for about a day, and Shen Xian's throat was unbearably dry. After calling Aunt Zhang, he coughed twice. With a faint smile: "I'm hungry."

"Okay, okay, I'll go and warm up the dishes for you." Aunt Zhang didn't ask him why he stayed in the room for so long, and hurriedly turned around to warm up the dishes for him.

Seeing that the person left, Shen Xian's smile suddenly collapsed. In fact, he had never been wronged in the Lu residence. From top to bottom, everyone in the Lu family, including Lu Yu's father who had passed away, treated him with respect. He has always been amiable, he always asks about his health, he really regards him as a member of the family, he has not even heard a word of gossip, it seems that he has heard a little bit, and then those people were fired.

But even so, he still couldn't really integrate into this family. After seven years, he still rejected this place from body to heart, but he lost his memory. But in just one year, he liked to call this place "Family", treat these people as his elders and family members.

The little short leg hadn't made out with Shen Xian for a while. When it saw someone, it ran over with Xiao Hei, stuck out its long pink tongue, and shook its big butt.

Shen Xian waved at him, and the little short legs obediently leaned over, and Xiao Hei also stumblingly followed the little short legs, with a small whimper, he burrowed into Shen Xian's palm.

Shen Xian touched it twice, and it lay obediently on the ground, revealing its soft belly.Shen Xian rubbed it, and the little guy let out a little comfortable whining sound.

"Go and play by yourself." Shen Xian patted the heads of the two dogs and stood up, and the two dogs turned around and went to play.

He doesn't regard this place as "home", but it is already full of his traces, his smell, everyone and every dog ​​here knows him and regards him as a part of this place.

He couldn't deny that "Shen Xian" was him, and the imaginary "Mo Yu'an" was actually him. In front of Yin, he was stupid and naive, walking forward all the way with his head depressed.

No one is right or wrong, it's just that the two have different experiences and the final choices are different.

When he let go of all prejudices and prejudices, let go of all hatred and resentment, and returned to his original self, his choice turned out to be like this.

Shen Xian is inexplicably envious and jealous of the "Mo Yu'an" created by himself, his likes, his admiration, all his feelings can be so unscrupulous, and he can speak out so easily.

He just thought about it for a second, and then laughed at himself like a self-deprecating smile. Actually, it’s not right. When he was Shen Xian, he couldn’t put his love and hatred in order. An idiot, and became Mo Yu'an, he looked forward and backward, thinking that Lu Yu didn't like him, he hoped that he was Shen Xian, but now he "changed" back to Shen Xian, and he began to envy Mo Yu'an again During that period of time, he was really idle.

"Master Shen, why are you still standing there?" Aunt Zhang brought out the dishes, but she didn't see Shen Xian, so she went to the door of his room to look for someone.

Shen Xian said: "I just played with the dog, but now it's over."

"That's it." Aunt Zhang nodded, believing it.

Shen Xian followed her to the dining table. The dishes on the table were all his favorite dishes. He sat down and ate slowly. When he looked up, it was almost dark.

It was summer now, and it was getting dark slowly. He didn't check the time, but he knew that it would be at least six o'clock. Normally, at this time, Lu Yu had already left work, but there was no sign of him yet.

"Aunt Zhang, where's Lu Yu?" Shen Xian asked after eating.

"Today, the young master said that something was delayed." Aunt Zhang replied.

It just so happened that he hadn't figured out how to face Lu Yu yet, so Shen Xian nodded to show that he knew.

"Young Master Shen... People, you can't skip meals. It's not good for your health if you skip a meal." Aunt Zhang said it implicitly, but Shen Xian understood the worry and concern in her words.

"I know, I watched something for a long time today." Shen Xian smiled, her expression normal.

Aunt Zhang was not relieved, it was because Shen Xian looked too normal that she felt abnormal. Woke up, now it looks too peaceful again.

Aunt Zhang sighed in her heart. She is not too young now, and she has done everything she wanted to do. There is only one thing, which has been in her heart for so many years. There will never be an end. Now , I finally saw a small flame of hope, but this small flame jumped twice, and it was about to go out.