paddle

When Han Ziye was 16 years old, Han Yi finally divorced He Huan and officially registered with Hong Tu abroad.He Huan saved up a large number of pills at some point, and committed suicide by taking the pills that night.

Han Ziye's last pillar also collapsed.He began to degenerate, smoking, drinking, fighting, and finally touched drugs.Han Zirong took him to the Goulan Courtyard, and from then on, he sang and sang every night, never returning, and soon became notorious in the circle of rich children.

Both Han Tieyi and He Lisheng had disciplined him, and he would always admit his mistakes with a smile on his face, and make vows, but then he played more outrageously. Although the two old people were angry, they were used to spoiling him since they were young, and they were reluctant to shut him up.

Uncle Zhong is a domestic servant brought by He Huan. He watched Zi Ye grow up since he was a child, and saw that the young master who knew the etiquette and was like pearls and jade was going astray gradually, so he wrote a long letter to Han Yi in desperation.

Han Yi thought that his father and He Huan would educate him well, but He Huan committed suicide on the day they registered.Han Yi returned home immediately in shock.

At this time, the seed buried in Han Ziye's heart had grown into a towering tree.He was already taller than Han Yi, and looking down at him, he pulled up one corner of his mouth and showed a sinister smile:

"Father? There is no such thing in my life, and I don't need it."

He circled around Han Yi: "You really are..."

For more than ten years, the two have hardly met each other. To Han Yi, his mother never mentioned the current situation, so of course he didn't take it to heart.In his heart, this person is stranger than a stranger.

"Are all homosexuals as shameless as you?" He turned and went upstairs, stepping up the stairs with long legs, "Hurry up, you dare to come back here, you are not afraid that your mother will turn into a ghost and claim your life ?"

Han Yi lived in Beigong for a month, and barely saw Han Ziye face to face.He had no choice but to follow Zi Ye, watching him striptease on the stage of the bar surrounded by a group of rambunctious young men and women, grabbing the men and women around him for tongue kisses.Hiding in the box and elegantly trading psychedelic pills with people, fighting with people in the back alley after taking the medicine, walking into the gate of the motel with a woman wearing unknown blood and heavy makeup.

Han Yi didn't step forward to intervene, but just observed him carefully.This is another distorted soul, and of course I am the culprit.He is no longer qualified to explain what happened to him or to obtain his understanding.

Hong Tu called to urge him to go home. It was not the time for him to come back. He had indeed neglected the child for too long and hadn't fulfilled any responsibilities.Now I can only let him pass all the hatred on himself. If he can cheer up and live a good life in the future, even if he hates himself all his life, it doesn't matter.

He started to find fault and quarrel with Han Ziye. If he disdains it, he disdains it even more than him. If he despises it, he despises it even more than him.

Han Yi picked the most painful place to poke him, just like opening a scar to squeeze out pus and blood.When he was in a hurry, he would grit his teeth and look at him with squinted eyes. The hatred in his eyes turned into a dark color, but in the end it was just a smile, as if there was nothing in this world that could make him hurt.

On He Huan's memorial day, Han Ziye was very drunk the night before, and he was still drunk when Han Yi picked him up in the morning.

Han Yi grabbed him into the car, he half-closed his eyes and asked why he was going, Han Yi said to go to the airport, today is your mother's anniversary.

Han Ziye jumped up, "Are you going too?" Then he was hurt by the buzzing eardrums and quickly closed his eyes and propped his forehead.

Han Yi imitated his smile: "Why, are you afraid that I will be dragged down by your mother? Don't worry, your mother must have gone to heaven. A disgusting homosexual like me will definitely go to hell in the future. And you, I guess you will have to talk to me at that time." Let's go together."

He Huan was buried on a hilltop in Cuiyuan, under a camellia plant in the He family cemetery.

Han Ziye helped his grandfather He Lisheng up the stairs step by step.The wind blew He Lisheng's white shirt fluttering, his figure was still tall and straight, his beloved daughter passed away, he fell ill, and after more than half a year of convalescence, he finally recovered, but the wandering in the middle of the night made him angry and distressed. His hair, which was still dark, had turned gray.

He Huan's tombstone was neatly cleaned up. The leaves of the white camellia were green and the huge flowers hung on the tombstone, hiding He Huan's photo.

She has an alluring complexion, with curved phoenix eyes, and a mischievous smile on the corner of her mouth, looking at the camera, with black and thick hair hanging on her shoulders.

Han Ziye felt a pang in his heart. He wiped away the dust that didn't exist on the photo. The image of his mother and this photo made it hard to believe that it was a person.Why, why did Han Yi treat such a beautiful wife like this.

He glanced at a bunch of daisies placed under the tombstone. Those flowers looked fresh at first glance, with dewdrops still condensing in the center of the flowers, and the pink-blue petals were neatly clustered together.

Ziye stood up and laughed out loud: "Mom has no preference for flowers, but especially hates daisies. How much does he want to fight against mother?"

He wanted to throw the bunch of flowers far away, but He Lisheng stopped him.Zi Ye turned around in surprise:

"Grandpa! You are so self-restraining, you are still willing to receive him, you are willing to talk to him, and you are even willing to let him visit mother. He killed mother!"

He Lisheng pulled him up, looked at Ziye's eyebrows, "I've always been considered mild-tempered. But your mother inherited her toughness from somewhere, and now it's probably all passed on to you."

He knelt down, arranged the bouquet of daisies, put them in the large glass vase he brought, and offered them in front of the monument: "Your mother used to like daisies the most, and she planted daisies wherever tea could not be grown in the Jade Garden."

"Tie—cough, your grandfather, we have a very good relationship, so your father..."

Ziye retorted with a cold face: "He is not my father, I don't have a father."

He Lisheng was not angry, but still said slowly:

"Xiaoyi has often come to play with me since he was a child, and Huanhuan often flies to his place. The two children have a very good relationship."

"He was smart and cute when he was young, unlike you when you were young. You were too precocious and silent, but he was as skinny as a monkey. He led Huanhuan up and down the mountain and river, and was spanked and locked up by me several times." He Lisheng seemed to see At that point, smile slightly.

Han Ziye frowned: "So you can forgive him for betraying his mother and running away with a man?"

He Lisheng lit the scriptures he copied by hand, and watched the flames rise little by little.

"Xiao Ye, have you ever thought that things may not be what you see and what you hear, just like a mirror, you see yourself on the front, but the back is just a dim coating."

"If I tell you that this matter is not his fault, nor your mother's fault, nor anyone's fault, will you accept it?"

Han Ziye looked up at the big camellia tree, turned around and showed a sarcastic smile:

"Isn't anyone's fault? So where did I come from? Am I right?"

He Lisheng quickly reached out to ask him to help him, but he struggled a bit, and finally lowered his head to support Grandpa's arm.

He Lisheng trimmed his hair:

"How can you think so, you are brother Tie Yi and I's baby, and also Huanhuan's baby, Xiao Yi - he receives your sarcastic remarks every day here, why doesn't he leave, that's also the reason."

He collected the burnt ashes in a handkerchief and buried them in front of the tombstone,

"Actually, Xiao Yi is the real poor boy. He doesn't like the business of making missiles. He likes Jade Garden more than precision."

"He studied chemistry and wrote a paper on tea polyphenols instead of propulsion fuel. When he grew up a little, he would rather grow in the tea garden every day than go back there, and Tie Yi jumped his feet in anger."

He stood up and walked slowly down the mountain with Ziye.

"Huanhuan and him have always had a very good relationship, but I looked at it as brother and sister, and didn't pay much attention to it. I thought that the two children might not be enlightened yet."

"Later, Xiao Yi went abroad to go to school and met a person. He finally became enlightened, and they were in love."

Ziye stopped in her tracks: "Didn't he—didn't he marry his mother first, and then leave with that person when he had me?"

He Lisheng shook his head, signaling him to continue walking.

"But at that time, Huanhuan also came to her senses. The reason why she likes daisies is because Xiao Yi gave daisies for the first time. She felt that she would marry her chess brother no matter what in this life—she Guan Xiaoyi is called Chess Brother, because when two people played chess when they were young, the one who lost the bet swallowed the chess piece, but Xiaoyi kept his promise and actually swallowed it, and even took a knife."

"Your grandfather and I really wanted a you so much, so we knew that Xiao Yi didn't like Huanhuan, so we forced them to get married—Huanhuan was also very confident at the time, thinking that Xiao Yi was just blinded for a while— —She also did some wrong things, and finally swallowed the bitter fruit. In fact, if you really want to find out what's wrong, there is nothing wrong with Xiao Yi."

He Lisheng stopped in his tracks, and asked softly, "Xiao Ye, have you ever liked anyone?"

Han Ziye stood on the mountainside, turned around and looked at the small tombstone above, the warm wind carried the fragrance of the tea tree faintly wafting in, this question made him wonder what it was like.His only entertainment when he was a child was to sit in his mother's arms and listen to her asking, are you good today?What did you learn?Is it difficult, will it.

In order to let his mother hear a satisfactory answer when he asked, he studied hard and trained hard. Holding the dazzling results in front of his mother's bed and giving her a faint smile is simply the most important thing in his life.

There are more things to learn when he grows up, he becomes silent, and his mother also becomes less fond of laughing, so they often sit opposite each other on the bed, and his mother looks at him indifferently and repeats to him, don’t like it Men, all homosexuals in this world are sick and perverted.

Not only did he have a deep dislike for people, but for the simple feeling of liking.All he had in his eyes was a planned course and his future life.

like?love?That's just something that creates tragedy.The last bit of warmth in his life was buried deep in the surface following He Huan's death.

"Later when he returned to Beigong, he saw that I still hadn't left, so he came to the guest room to find me and said:

'My vacation is over, you can go too, let me tell you one last time, I don't have a father, and I don't plan to have one in the future.I don't hate you either, but I don't think we will have to see each other except in the mansion. 'The next day he really changed his mind and went back to school obediently to go to class, and never went to the bar again.So I came back. "

After Han Yi finished speaking, his voice became hoarse. The sky was already full of stars outside, and the lights were not turned on in the room, so he couldn't see his expression in the early morning.The two were silent for a while, and asked softly in the early morning: "Why me?"

Han Yi thought for a while and answered: "That child's heart is full of wounds, he has no love, and he will not love. If this continues, he will spend his whole life alone, and will never know what love is. Maybe it's my selfishness. Well, I can't just watch him go on like this, I want to find someone who can be by his side forever, I saw your painting, and think you should have a strong force to teach him."

He got up to turn on the light, and squinted his eyes when he saw the light in the morning.He walked back to Qingchen and held his shoulders: "But maybe I was wrong, maybe no one can teach him, and falling in love with him will be the most painful thing."

In the early morning, I bravely looked into Han Yi's eyes: "I have nothing, and I will spend my whole life alone. I also want to have someone who can be by my side forever. It's okay if it hurts. I'm not afraid of pain, as long as you don't leave me alone again." That's it."

Han Yi sighed, not knowing whether his decision saved the two children or harmed them.

Of course, this conversation didn't work out. The next day Han Yi found out that he was drawing a sketch. The sketch looked like Ziye looking back. He painted the ruthless eyes so vividly that Han Yi shivered.