In time

What kind of emotion is liking?I don't know, it can't be seen or touched, but you know, he is there, like a shadow, never leaving, the more you want to stay away, the more he entangles you and you don't want to let go.

This kind of liking makes me feel scared, afraid of possible harm, and also afraid of the inexplicable unknown. I always know that I am not brave enough, because I think it is a too sacred emotion, I dare not have it, and I don’t want to part. Don't stay away.

So, while this love has not yet thrived, while this love has not been discovered, let yourself be alone for a while, and then leave. We have been separated for so many years, so if we continue to separate, maybe it is not It's not that hard, is it?

That night, I didn't leave, I just sat at the table and watched Lin Nan who fell asleep quietly.

Lin Nan is really good-looking. No matter the outline of the face or the slender and powerful figure, whether it is the indifference of opening the eyes or the slight frown after closing the eyes, they are all traces imprinted on the heart, sweet and sour sour.

But some people can't take it away, and some feelings are only suitable to be placed in a suitable corner, stored in a crystal clear ice box, and occasionally inspected through a transparent box, but cannot be touched.

Lin Nan and I, Lin Nan and I, I closed my eyes, even though the lights were still on, in my closed eyelids, layers of darkness were still rendered.

Two people of the same gender, one has an emotion called liking for the other, I really want to know, is this thing ridiculous?Perhaps it is not ridiculous to me who is closed, it is so precious and cherished, it has nothing to do with other things, just because that person is Lin Nan.But for Lin Nan, it is a burden. He has a career, he will have a family in the future, he will have a beautiful wife and lovely children, and he will have a wonderful life. But I have nothing and can only rely on what I once had. Good memories eat away at the days that are left of me.

I covered my face, not knowing whether to laugh at myself or cry for myself, maybe I just need to be silent like this.

Lin Nan moved uncomfortably, but did not wake up, and still looked a little uncomfortable.I moistened the towel and wiped his face, Lin Nan, maybe, you don't know, maybe you never know, once, there was such a person who liked you so, so much, for this love, he Must stay away from you.

Maybe it's because of his youth, or maybe it's because his body is really good. Lin Nantian woke up when it was just dawn, and I wiped his body twice at night. When he woke up, he looked healthy and energetic.

I sat at the desk with my head propped up and looked at him.

He tilted his head to look at me, then suddenly lifted the quilt and got up and walked to me, stretched out his hand and touched my forehead, heaved a sigh of relief, and asked angrily, "You haven't slept all night?"

I looked at him, smiled and didn't speak.

He pulled me to sit on the bed, squatted down and took off my shoes, then pushed me onto the bed, pulled the thin quilt over my body, and said in a strong and forceful voice, "Not going to work today! Ask for leave! Sleep!"

I obediently closed my eyes, of course I couldn't fall asleep.

But my ears can catch every small and subtle movement of Lin Nan. He came back from washing, he was serving porridge and drinking, he walked to my side and watched quietly for a while.

I close my eyes, and now I'm asleep, aren't I?

Then I heard him writing at the table, then gently pulled the chair away, and sat on the edge of the bed, I felt him leaning over, and then something soft and soft fell on my forehead, like winter ending spring The drop of spring rain falling on the frozen lake before the arrival is also the faint fragrance that suddenly smells when walking under the camphor tree on a hot summer night.

It's warm and intoxicating.

I didn't dare to move, my eyes were still closed, but my heartbeat was many, many times faster than usual.

Let's go, let's go.I pray in my heart, Lin Nan, if you don't leave, I will be reluctant to leave you, if you don't leave, I will definitely sit up and hug you, and then watch my heart beat out, tell you, Lin Nan, I like it you.

Lin Nan really stood up and left. I opened my eyes, looked at the gently closed door, and breathed a sigh of relief, but felt a little lost in my heart, as if a part of myself had also left with that figure, and I would never come back to me.

Touch the kiss on the forehead, Lin Nan, do you like me too?

The answer, which was not certain before, seems to be gradually becoming clear now, but this is wrong.

It doesn't matter if you ruin me, but Lin Nan, I hope he is doing well, just like he did many years ago, he untied my shackles and gave up my company in the name of friendship, so there is such an excellent Lin Nan.

Lin Nan should be such a big boy who lives in the sun and sweats recklessly, happy and youthful, hardworking and hardworking, he should not be dragged down by anyone, nor should he be criticized, not to mention, he once had such a Family, gossip, criticism, should not appear on him again.

The note on the table was written by Lin Nan, saying that he was going to the company, that he wanted me to sleep well and have a good rest, that the porridge was delicious, and that some of it was warming in the pot when I woke up, so I had to drink it obediently, saying When he came back from the company, he wanted to take me to eat delicious food, and said he had something very important to tell me.

I read the note many times and touched the words written by Lin Nan. The rebelliousness of a certain period of time has been left in the traces of the words, and even time cannot erase it.

I folded the note, carefully put it in my wallet, and left a note for Lin Nan. When I stood up and was about to leave, I suddenly remembered the photo album. Take it out and take it with you.

I hurried home and packed up my things. In fact, I didn't need to bring a lot of things. It was easy to pack up.

Asked for a long vacation with the master, the master was silent for a while, sighed and told me to take a good rest, don’t think too much, I’m a bit in a trance recently, it’s good to take a rest, it’s just that painting, he can’t wait for me, I hope I can come sooner Get adjusted and come back.

I agreed, I like this job very much, and I am not willing to give up, but I want to give Lin Nan a time to ignore me, those emotions that were picked up by accident will eventually cool down inevitably, yes, Maybe it won't be forgotten, but it will eventually cool down.

After that, they live in peace with each other.

I booked a bus ticket and went to the small town that I always wanted to go but didn't have the courage to go, looking for a shell that could wrap myself safely, because I knew I still had to climb out, so I needed to find the existence of such a shell.

There was only one bus to that small town, and it left very late. I stayed in a corner of the station for a long time. Lin Nan made a lot of phone calls and sent a lot of text messages. I didn't answer or reply. Before getting on the bus, I I received another text message from Lin Nan: Ji Moli, please don't easily use your thoughts to decide my emotions and future, it was before and it is now.

I was a little sad, but I still replied: Lin Nan, goodbye.

The text message came back quickly: Okay, you are ruthless, get out of here this time, and better pray that I don't see you again.

I turned off my phone and prepared to go through the security check, but my ticket couldn’t be inserted into the thin ticket gate. The people behind were urging me, but I still couldn’t put it in. My hands were shaking violently for some reason. .A person in the back kindly helped me, and I finally passed smoothly, but when I looked down at the ticket, something fell on the ticket, which stained the ticket with a little water stain, raised my head, and sniffed, Looking at the noisy waiting room on the other side of the door through the glass window, there was a tall figure standing in the bustling crowd. The face that I will never forget was cold and silent, and the eyes looking at me were complicated and difficult to distinguish.

Tighten the saluting hand, maybe I was really wrong, I shouldn't treat Lin Nan like this, I shouldn't be so self-righteous, even if this relationship is not visible, as long as we are brave enough, the harm that may be faced in the future , what is it?

I couldn't help but take two steps forward, and then I saw the girl I saw in the supermarket that day, standing behind Lin Nan, her hands wrapped around Lin Nan's waist tightly.

At that moment, I envied her so much.

Finally, I turned around and left.

The author has something to say:

Sure enough, I can't write literary and fresh essays, and I always feel that something cruel is about to start