the world in which he exists

After receiving treatment in the hospital, Lin Jianfan woke up and saw his mother's concerned and distressed face, haggard and tired.

He was hugged tightly by his mother for the first time, and his hospital gown was wet with tears from his mother.

Fortunately, the building is not high and life-threatening, but after talking with Lin Jianfan, Lin's mother found that Lin Jianfan needed a psychiatrist.

Because Lin Jianfan was taciturn, not at all as lively and cheerful as before.He didn't smile, and he was a little slow to answer questions.

At first, Mama Lin thought it was a brain injury, but the doctor said there was absolutely no such thing.

The psychiatrist chatted with Lin Jianfan for a long time, and Lin's mother waited anxiously outside.

The psychiatrist and Lin's mother said: "When I asked your son a question, he answered me a word."

"What is it?" Mama Lin asked.

"He said there is no such thing as suicide in this world."

There is no such thing as suicide in this world, only being killed by the world.

Lin Jianfan whispered these words again silently.The psychiatrist and Lin's mother said: "Jian Fan is actually very sensible, but he is also very fragile inside. From his answer, it can be clearly felt that he is always alone. He used to be in a boarding school and was bullied. He is very lonely. "

"Then what should we do?" Mother Lin asked.

The psychiatrist saw that Mama Lin was a person who didn't take care of children very much: "That's up to you. I'm just a psychiatrist. I just got in touch with your children and I also just got in touch with you."

Lin's mother made up her mind to quit the job that Lin Jianfan had been hesitant to quit since the accident. She decided to go home with Fan and seek justice with Fan.

The anger of a mother should not be underestimated. After quitting her job, Lin's mother worked hard to learn relevant legal knowledge. While taking care of Lin Jianfan, she had to hide from Lin Jianfan's grandmother that Jianfan just accidentally fell.

Grandma has bad legs and feet, but she insisted on coming to see him.The old man's love for the child is endless, and he wants to leave everything good to him.

When grandma came, she was peeling bananas and apples, so Lin saw that Fan couldn't eat, so he had to eat.

Grandma is an interesting old lady. She peeled the apple and said to Lin Jianfan: "I peeled the fruit for you at such an old age. You should have peeled it for me because of your illness."

This is an old lady whose dogs have to fight over whether to eat fruit or not.

Lin saw Fan laughing, it was the first time Lin's mother had seen him smile after staying with him in the ward for so long.

Mama Lin wiped her tears with the excuse that she went to the toilet and ran to the toilet to wipe her tears with a paper towel.

Calling her husband, Lin's father comforted him: "I'll be right back, the ticket has already been booked, everything here has been successful."

"The son is more important than your work?!" Mama Lin asked in tears.

"I've already booked my ticket, I'll be back soon, the project is at the end, I can't leave, it can't be my fault."

Father Lin couldn't get away, and was extremely anxious.Mama Lin also understood, but she couldn't control her emotions when she cried.The burden was all on her alone, and it was hard to see her son smile.

Lin's mother couldn't help but said to Lin's father: "Come back quickly, if you don't come back, I don't know whose surname my son will be with, anyway, I won't trust Lin with you!"

"What's the matter with you? I'm not in a hurry to come back, I know you've worked hard..."

"Knowing that there is a fart, you just know that you know, there is a fart!"

Only I know about the collapse of an adult. Lin's mother returned to the ward just like she did when she left. She couldn't tell that she had scolded her husband or cried.

After sending grandma home, Mama Lin wanted to have a heart-to-heart talk with Lin Jianfan, but found that she couldn't get into Lin Jianfan's heart. She could feel that their topic was lingering on the surface, and she couldn't gain Lin Jianfan's trust. his heart.

Zhu Shengquan visited Lin Jianfan once when he was in the hospital. He didn't go in, and was seen by Lin's mother outside the ward. Zhu Shengquan didn't say that he was Lin Jianfan's classmate. He didn't dare to say, because he saw Lin's mother heard The name of the school has been put on vigilant eyes.If I were Lin Jianfan's classmate, I'm afraid I wouldn't accept the flowers.

As soon as Zhu Shengquan told a lie, Lin's mother saw that he was upright and asked him to go in and have a sit. Maybe a friend who visited Lin Jianfan would not be so lonely.

But Zhu Shengquan couldn't say no, and asked Lin's mother to accept the flowers and leave in a hurry.When Lin's mother brought Hua into the ward, Lin saw that Fan was sleeping.Mama Lin put the flowers into a vase, and Mama Lin told him that a friend just came to see him as soon as Fan woke up.

friend?

Which friend?

Friends from junior high school?

Mama Lin showed him the card on the bouquet. Zhu Shengquan didn't even dare to leave his name, only a date.

Lin saw the date Fan thought he was rescued by Zhu Shengquan.

Lin Jianfan knew who it was at a glance. The glass vase was pushed down, the water in the vase spilled all over the floor, and the shattered glass shards of the vase lay in the spilled water.

Lin Jianfan suddenly went crazy when he saw the card, dropped the vase and started scratching his hair again.The hospital bed swayed and the sheets slipped off. Lin's mother hurriedly pressed the call bell to call the doctor. After seeing the doctor for a while, Lin saw that Fan was back to normal, and soon fell asleep.

Once this time, Mama Lin was frightened and never dared to accept visits from people she didn't know.

His wife became nervous and even began to question him. Father Lin had quarreled with Mother Lin several times because of her fragile nerves.

Lin Jianfan didn't know how to deal with school affairs, and his mother didn't tell him, he seemed to be isolated in a ward.

He didn't know that the parents of the other party proposed to compensate them, and wanted to use the money to settle the matter.

He didn't know that his mother who quit her job was not only hot-tempered at work, but also tough when dealing with parents who wanted to use money for personal gain.

Lin's mother said to those parents: "You are using money to humiliate me and my right to protect my child as a mother. You are also humiliating my child and his integrity."

"I'm very glad that my family still has a little money, which is enough for me to pay for seeing Fan's medical expenses and seeing a psychiatrist. If I don't have money and my child is lying in the hospital again, I may accept it, but that is also a betrayal killed my son."

"Since knowing that my son has been bullied for so long, he has been traumatized mentally and physically. He can't believe in this world, that there are friendly classmates, and even us. What my child lost is that he cannot Trust in a better world bought with money."

"I have always believed in your school and the teacher. When Fan told me that he didn't want to go to school anymore and that some classmates bullied him, I also said that the teacher would deal with it. I didn't help him, I didn't stand up, I didn't know he was in school Living such a life. How sad he must be, even his own parents can’t understand, so I must stand by his side, we will not accept your money.”

Lin's mother has a rather irritable temper. A mother who wants to get justice for her child is invincible.Lin Jianfan didn't know that his mother had failed to negotiate with the school, and the head teacher didn't know how to repent, and said in the office that there was something wrong with your son.

Lin's mother pointed to the head teacher and said, "As a teacher, you can say such a thing. It happened in your class. You don't care enough about the students. On the contrary, my son has problems. How can you be ashamed? How can a person like you be qualified to be a teacher?" ?”

Lin Jianfan didn't know that his mother couldn't stand his head teacher, so he found out where the head teacher lived, and went to the head teacher's house to beat her: "Whose son do you think has problems?"

Things got worse and worse, and Lin Jianfan could feel the pressure from his mother even when he was closed in the ward.

After finally recovering from illness and returning home, he didn't sleep. In the middle of the night, he heard his mother come to his room, hold his hand and talk to him, apologizing to him.

"It's my mother's fault, I didn't pay attention earlier."

He heard his mother crying, but he could only pretend to be asleep, not daring to wake up.

Because of him, the air pressure in the house became extremely low. His mother and father pretended to be cheerful and relaxed in front of him, but they always quarreled at night when he fell asleep.

He could hear his parents arguing about him through the walls, he could hear his mother crying, and his father's sighs never stopped.

His mother treated him like a fragile object, told him nothing, and avoided him in everything, for fear that he would go crazy like last time when he saw something close to the past.

Every night after his mother left the bedroom, Lin Jianfan would turn on the lamp in the room again.The desk lamp in the room is very bright, so as to give him a sense of security.

Once, my mother left the bedroom to quarrel with my father, and when she came back to see him, she found that the light was turned on again. She knew that Lin Jianfan hadn't slept, and from that day on, her mother would always leave a night light in the room every time.

The mother blamed herself infinitely. The mother thought that Lin Jianfan didn't know, but Lin Jianfan knew everything.The mother's self-blame made Lin Jianfan realize that in addition to his mother's love for him, it is more of a burden he has brought to his parents.

Seeing that Fan couldn't bear the burden he had brought to his parents, Lin told his mother that he didn't want them to pay for him anymore.

He saw his mother's tears and heard her say, "It's a parent's right to worry about your son, and you can't take it away."

The psychiatrist that his mother found for him is still going on. He has suspended school and stayed at home. He tried his best to make his parents relax, but his parents treated him like a fragile doll, and they didn't even need him to wash the dishes. They only let him rest.

His parents discussed things in the room, and he sat alone in the living room watching TV. He couldn't get in touch with anyone or anything about the school or the outside world.

He is a caged bird that is protected from all angles.

The parents were arguing again. They thought Lin Jianfan didn't know. In the living room, Lin Jianfan curled up his legs and hugged himself. He told himself that he was fine.

The dog blood TV series is on TV by itself, and the dog blood TV series often have scenes of amnesia. Lin Jianfan hugged himself and forced himself to watch it, pretending that he didn't know anything.

He was inspired by the amnesia plot of the dog blood TV series.

In order to make his mother stop worrying about him, he has rehearsed it countless times in his heart, and he has also flinched countless times in front of his mother, and finally one day he put it into practice.

After waking up in the morning, he pretended not to remember anything, and asked his mother who was making breakfast: "Mom, why am I at home? Am I not at grandma's house?"

Hearing these strange words, the noodles that Mama Lin picked up fell into the boiling water in the pot.

"You... son... son..." Mother Lin stammered in shock.

"Huh?" Seeing Fan pretending nothing happened, Lin laughed, "What's wrong with you? The noodles are almost boiled."

Lin's mother didn't care about the boiling water in the pot. She grabbed Lin Jianfan's shoulders and asked, "Don't you remember?"

"I don't remember anything? Why are you so weird? I just remember that I slept at grandma's house yesterday, and I got home today. Did I remember wrong yesterday?" Lin Jianfan said.

"Then mother asked you how old are you now?" Lin's mother swallowed nervously.

"16 years old."

"Then...then...is there anyone in that school who bullies you?"

"What? My classmates are all very nice to me. Didn't they bring it back to show you last time? What kind of bullying is not bullying? Mom, you must be delusional." Lin Jianfan quickly weaved a lie in his heart.

Mama Lin was so frightened that she dropped her chopsticks on the ground, patted her cheek, and touched Lin Jianfan's face: "Am I dreaming?"

Lin Jianfan laughed: "What dream, why are you so strange today, I'm going to change clothes first, and I have to go to school later."

Lin saw that Fan couldn't make it up, and wanted to change his clothes to escape, but Lin's mother held him, looked into his eyes and said to him firmly: "I won't go to the school to report, let's transfer!"

Tears flashed in Mama Lin's eyes: "We won't go anymore, we'll move, we won't stay in this place anymore."

"Let's not go to that crappy school."

Lin's mother hurried to tell Lin's father the news. Lin Jianfan's quick and perfect lies made his parents think that he had lost his memory, and even the doctor lied to him.

The doctor and Lin's father and Lin's mother were talking about his condition inside, but he was sent out and not allowed to listen. Lin, who remembered everything, saw Fan sticking to the door to eavesdrop.

Soon the news of his memory loss spread again. Lin saw that Fan had lied to everyone. The doctor said that because of the blow, he would beautify the past memory.Lin Jianfan understood that he could make up whatever he wanted, anyway, to beautify it, how he wanted to beautify it was much easier than pretending to have amnesia.

Lin Jianfan's memory beautification made Lin's mother a lot easier, at least she would not cry because she saw a silent son, but Lin Jianfan could only pretend to be happy if she didn't want to laugh.

A child full of scars pretends to be a cheerful and smiling child to show his parents.

Coming out of the hospital, Lin saw Fan sitting in the car looking at the backs of his parents in the front seat. He pretended to laugh to make them happy.

He said to himself: "You choose this path yourself. If you choose someone to hide your scars, then keep hiding them and don't show your tail."

While his amnesia made Mama Lin feel at ease, it also made Mama Lin's justice even more difficult.

Lin Jianfan lost the memory of being bullied before, which directly caused Lin's mother to not know what to do next.

She promised Lin Jianfan to transfer to another school, but there was still no movement. She avoided "Lin Jianfan with amnesia" and was busy with previous affairs.

Lin Jianfan couldn't be allowed to know, and there wasn't enough evidence, the lawyer he hired learned that Lin Jianfan had such a disease and almost went crazy.

"Did I do something wrong again?" Lin Jianfan asked himself.Hearing the sound of his mother coming home, Lin Jianfan quickly put away the contemplation on his face and put on a smiling face: "Mom, are you back?"

Faced with his mother who came back suddenly, Lin Jianfan tried his best to make his smile not look so fake, so that the smile could infect the eyes like before.The words are also trying not to be blunt, try to be the same as before, the voice is lively and reveals the joy of seeing my mother come back.

Lin's mother was running around outside, and when she heard the ordinary sentence "Mom, you're back?", her heart was full of sadness, her eyes were wet and she wanted to cry, but how could such a strong person shed tears in front of her son for no reason? Woolen cloth?

Lin's mother forced the tears back to her heart, and said to Lin Jianfan: "Your father won't be home for dinner today, let's go out to eat."

"Your father's job has been transferred, which is quite inconvenient, so we plan to move to another place to live." Mama Lin said casually.

"We have been busy with these things these days, and your transfer procedures have been completed."

What job transfer, Lin Jianfan knew that it was because of his father's job that he transferred to another school that he had to be transferred.

Not long after, Lin Jianfan fled from that city. On the day he arrived in the new city, the sun was shining brightly and scorching hot, much hotter than the city he lived in before.

The sun was shining brightly outside the window, as if welcoming his arrival.

Sitting in the car to the new home, the father drove and chatted with the mother who was sitting in the passenger seat.Lin Jianfan looked at the ever-changing unfamiliar scenery outside the car window. No matter how novel the scenery outside the window was, it couldn't overcome the exhaustion of his body.

sleepy.

Lin Jianfan didn't know how he got to his new home.His father patted him awake, and he saw his new home from the car window in a daze.

The new home looks fine, and the new neighbors are nice.The new neighbor is a single mother, her husband passed away, and she takes care of a little boy by herself.

On the second day after moving here, his mother took him there to visit.The little boy didn't recognize his birth, and after sitting at the neighbor's house for half an afternoon, the little boy became his follower and shared toys with him.

The mother with the top social skills can also chat well with the new neighbors.They drank tea together, and said that they could go shopping together in the future and exchange cooking skills together.

The summer sun shines through the tulle curtains in the living room and shines on the plush carpet in the room, making it warm and comfortable.Lin Jianfan was sitting in the corner of the sofa in the gentle sunshine, and the little boy was sitting at his feet playing with building blocks. Lin Jianfan looked down at him with soft eyes. When the little boy encountered difficulties, he stretched out his hand to ask Lin Jianfan to help him.

When he came to the new city, school had already started. Although his mother said that he would take him to the new school tomorrow, Lin Jianfan still felt that it was necessary to go to the school for a walk to make mental preparations.

Lin Jianfan sneaked into the school against the flow of people coming home from school after the school bell rang.

There was still about half an hour before school ended, and the taxi Lin Jianfan took had already stopped at the school gate early.

Because school was not over, the school gate was very quiet.

Lin Jianfan had no intention of going in after getting off the car.Not to mention whether they can get in now, even if they go in, they are all in class, and he wandering around the empty school by himself not only disturbs other people's class, but also attracts attention.It doesn't make much sense to go in, it's better to wait for them to leave school.

During the half hour waiting for them to leave school, Lin Jianfan consumed a cup of milk tea and bought a pair of black-rimmed glasses without lenses in a boutique.

Lin Jianfan felt at ease when he put on the glasses he bought, the white baseball cap he wore at home, and the mask he had prepared.

After endless waiting, the get out of class bell rang on time. Lin Jianfan looked up and saw the school building from the school fence.

This is his new school, where he will spend the remaining two years.

With the disappearance of the bell, students came out of the school gate one after another.

Lin Jianfan was wearing a hat, a mask, and a pair of black-rimmed glasses.He knew he looked weird and would be more noticeable, but he didn't want anyone to recognize him.

Although it was thousands of miles away from the original school, Lin Jianfan was still worried.

Lin Jianfan, who only showed a pair of eyes, bypassed the students gushing out of the school gate, trying to squeeze in from the very edge in the most inconspicuous way.

Such a tight cover has attracted the attention of many students, but most of them just think it is special or weird, and glanced over it with curious eyes.

Walking into the school, along the way, there were new eyes on him, and they took a look at him and then pulled away from him.

Unfamiliar faces flashed in front of my eyes, and unfamiliar school uniforms swayed in front of my eyes.Every plant and tree, everything is branded as unfamiliar, and we can't find a sense of familiarity from it.

Maybe it would be better if there is no sense of familiarity, Lin Jianfan is looking forward to a new life.

Most of the students are in groups of three or four, shoulder to shoulder, and the ease and smile after school are written on their faces.

Someone was fighting in the corridor. Lin Jianfan saw a girl throwing a boy's schoolbag downstairs, and someone downstairs responded.

Lin Jianfan looked downstairs following the schoolbag thrown downstairs by the girl.

It was the first time he saw Gu Chaoming.

Seeing Gu Chaoming who is about to participate in his future life.

This is the first time they met, not Doraemon, who Gu Chaoming thought would distribute leaflets at night, met a kind-hearted boy.

Gu Chaoming downstairs kept looking at him with the yellow flower in his hand. Seeing that Fan was not familiar with him, he was burned by Gu Chaoming's gaze. He chose to escape, to escape Gu Chaoming's sight.

Escaping from Gu Chaoming's sight, Lin Jianfan continued to wander around the school. The classrooms of all schools are similar, with blackboards, lecture tables, and desks.

The longer the shopping, the fewer students there are in the school.

Seeing Fan looking around like a tourist, Lin stood still in front of the block on the basketball court.

On the block, he just saw the little yellow flower in the hand of the boy downstairs staying on it.

The little yellow flowers dotted the fence, Lin saw that Fan went up to take down the little yellow flowers in a strange way, looked at them a few times, turned his head when he heard the voice behind him, and met the young man downstairs who was watching him again.

An awkward opening, awkward eye-catching, he can't talk to others, fortunately the boy opposite him is not as talkative as he is.

The boy asked him a question, and Lin Jianfan realized that he was so nervous that he wanted to run away, and he was too nervous to speak.

The young man thought he was dumb, and Lin Jianfan followed his lead and said that he was dumb.

The young man is enthusiastic, and uses his enthusiasm to resolve the embarrassment of meeting.

He was the first person Lin Jianfan talked to after he came to the new school.

Just because of Gu Chaoming who didn't know each other accosted him and Gu Chaoming turned around and waved after he left, Lin Jianfan's impression of this school was all the more beautiful because of him.

Lin Jianfan didn't believe it before, but when he met Gu Chaoming, he believed that there are really people in the world who have the ability to instantly turn his world into color.

Lin Jianfan always remembered the way the boy turned around and waved at him backwards.

After visiting school and returning home, it's time for dinner.

"Where did you go?" Mother Lin asked.

"I didn't go anywhere." Lin Jianfan lied, and with his hands in his pockets, he found the black-rimmed glasses he bought at the school gate.Afraid of being spotted, Lin Jianfan added, "I went to the side for a stroll."

Only when Lin saw Fan at the dinner table did she know that her mother had given up looking for a job and was planning to become a full-time housewife.

"In the future, my mother will cook delicious food for you at home. The neighbor aunt will prepare many dishes. My mother can learn from her ready-made." Lin Ma said to him with a smile at the dinner table.

Mother likes to work, so Lin Jianfan understands why she chooses to be a housewife instead of working.

Seeing that Fan didn't say anything but knew it in his heart, Lin couldn't help but feel sore, but he could bear it just like his mother, and held back the tears from streaming down his heart.

Seeing Fan holding the bowl, Lin saw the father at the dinner table who was desperately trying to praise the deliciousness of the new dishes his mother had learned.Mother laughed happily, no matter how good Lin Jianfan's grades were, she could only say one sentence: "It's delicious."

He likes this kind of life, there are no quarrels, only laughter.

He knows what his parents have done for him, but he can't say a word of thanks, because if he says thanks, he will reveal his secrets.

He felt that he was a burden to his parents or a stumbling block for them.

His parents tried their best to protect him with their love. Lin Jianfan felt that it was time for him to make a change. He didn't want his parents to worry about him anymore, and he didn't want to live the life he used to have at school.

He wanted to start a new life in a new school and abandon everything in the past. He thought that he might repeat the same mistakes. He thought that there might be endless darkness after the darkness, but he never thought that after the darkness, there would be a boy with light waiting for him ahead. , to light up his life.

After eating and taking a shower, Lin saw Fan lying on the bed and resting. His mother opened the door and asked him, "The neighbor's aunt said to go shopping together, will you go?"

The night market is bustling and the lights are twinkling.

The two women walked behind and chatted, and Lin Jianfan assumed the responsibility of looking after the children.

He was a person who didn't take care of children very much in the past ten years, only a puppy, and the neighbor's aunt also felt relieved to hand over the child to him.Seeing that Fan was self-taught, Lin coaxed the little boy into laughter.

Lin saw that Fan was holding the little boy with sore hands: "Shengsheng will come down, okay? Brother is tired."

Shengsheng nodded sensiblely. Lin Jianfan put him down and just wanted to praise him for being sensible. As soon as he put it down, Shengsheng left him behind Doraemon and ran forward.

Lin Jianfan followed and heard Shengsheng raised his head and asked Doraemon: "Where is Nobita? Why is Doraemon alone?"

Lin Jianfan smiled helplessly, as expected, he was still a child, and the questions he asked were so innocent.

He replied: "Because Nobita is waiting for Doraemon to come home, so let's get one for Doraemon and let him go home early, shall we?"

Holding Shengsheng's hand and taking the leaflet from Doraemon, Lin Jianfan didn't know that Gu Chaoming in the doll was sizing him up.

For Lin Jianfan, the Doraemon in front of him is just an ordinary doll, maybe it is a hard-earned boy inside.Lin Jianfan didn't pay attention at all, his attention was all on Shengsheng.

In the sudden confusion, Lin saw Fan hugging Shengsheng to hide.The chaos passed, and the street was as lively as usual, except that there was one more Doraemon picking up leaflets.

Leaflets were scattered all over the place, people came and went, and no one helped.

Seeing Fan pointing at Doraemon picking up the leaflets, Lin asked Shengsheng: "Shall we go and help Doraemon?"

Shengsheng nodded.

Seeing Fan's big steps, Lin Shengsheng trotted behind him.

The mother and the neighbor's aunt watched from behind. After picking up the leaflets, Lin saw Fan holding Shengsheng back to his mother. The neighbor's aunt applauded Shengsheng: "Did we, Shengsheng, do something good just now?"

Shengsheng grinned and said triumphantly, "Yes."

Lin saw Fan walked to his mother, looked at Sheng Sheng and smiled.

The neighbor's aunt said: "We Shengsheng have grown up."

Lin Jianfan didn't notice Gu Chaoming in Doraemon. It wasn't until the next day when Lin Jianfan moved the book that he realized that the Doraemon he helped yesterday was the boy he met in the new school.

On the second day, Lin Jianfan, who arrived in the new class for the first time, stood alone on the podium in the classroom. Facing the eyes of the strangers in the class, he gave birth to countless pairs of small eyes.He cautiously explored this new world with these eyes, flinching and resisting in his heart but still pretending to be calm and sunny for others to see.

Seeing the young man who was waving at him yesterday in the corridor, Lin Jianfan was very happy to be in the same class as him.

In the whole class, he only talked to that boy. When he introduced himself, he unconsciously turned his eyes to him many times. It seemed that the self-introduction became easier because Lin Jianfan could only be sure that Gu Chaoming would not bully others. Boy, he still doesn't know the details of the rest of the class.

Last night, he decided that he must establish a good relationship with the class. He didn't expect to stumble upon a self-introduction, and he didn't expect that what he did to build a good relationship later would be rumored to be a pleasing person.

After introducing himself, Lin Jianfan was glad to be sitting behind that young man.He hadn't got the textbook yet, the desk was empty, and there was nothing at hand. Lin Jianfan wanted to do something but felt like he couldn't do anything.

People who have nothing to do are full of the strangeness that has not been accepted and is constantly stared at.

No one came to talk to him. Wanting to establish a good relationship, Lin Jianfan decided to take the initiative.

He patted Gu Chaoming on the shoulder, but he didn't expect to hit a wall in an instant, and in exchange for a roar, he even caused Gu Chaoming to be scolded by Lao Chen.

He offered to apologize but still felt as if he had done a terrible job.

Gu Chaoming walked out of the classroom to go to the bathroom to smoke, Lin Jianfan decided to attack again.After looking it over again and again, Lin Jianfan chose Cen Xili, who seemed the gentlest and most talkative.

Seeing Fan reaching out to pat Cen Xili's shoulder, when he raised his hand, he thought of patting Gu Chaoming's shoulder after class soon. Gu Chaoming's reaction, Lin Jianfan raised his hand and quietly withdrew it, it would be safer to just call Cen Xili by his name .

This gentle boy seems to be called Cen Xili, right?

Seeing that Fan swallowed his saliva, Lin Xili didn't say what he was going to say. Cen Xili in front didn't give him a chance to speak, so he got up from his seat and ran to the back door of the classroom.

Cen Xili's figure passed by him quickly, and Lin saw that Fan's greeting words were stuck in his throat, so he had to swallow them back.

Lin Jianfan looked back at Cen Xili's back by the door.After the greeting failed, Lin Jianfan began to look at Cen Xili with the eyes that Gu Chaoming hates most.

Cen Xili was holding the door frame of the back door. He was not very tall, and his school uniform looked a little too big. It was empty, but it didn't feel sloppy.

His school uniform was washed very clean, without any stains, and his collar was turned up neatly. From the back, he could tell that he was a boy who listened to the family language.

His hair is a bit long, and the hair is too long to cover his neck slightly and needs to be trimmed.

Cen Xili is very gentle at first glance, and he is easy to approach at first glance, which is why Lin Jianfan chose to greet him.

Everyone is going through an ordinary day for them, but Lin Jianfan feels isolated, has not yet found his place in this class, has no sense of belonging at all, looks at the lively atmosphere in the class, and wants to go home The urge to burst out in his heart, Lin Jianfan compacted the soil and couldn't let it break through.

He can't go home, how can he explain to his mother when he gets home?But he really didn't want to be here anymore.

Strange, lively, lonely.

Cen Xili didn't notice that when he called Gu Chaoming at the back door of the classroom, his eyes followed him all the time, from the back door, to the halfway point of his speech, to the posture where he turned his head back to return to his position, to the moment when he was with him. From the bumping arms of the boys fighting at the back door to Wu Shan's dodging body.

Lin saw that none of Fan was left behind.

The same bullying as in the previous school, Lin Jianfan did not expect to be so unlucky, and tasted it on the first day.

The difference from before was that he became a bystander, and Cen Xili became the former him.

first day.

On the first day, his illusion about uniting the Friendship Class was shattered.His breathing came in secret quickening, he felt nauseous, he felt like he couldn't escape no matter where he went.

This is a prison from which he cannot escape.

His breathing was rapid, Lin Jianfan tried his best to suppress it so that no one would find out, but one of the two bullies still touched him, Lin Jianfan fled as if he couldn't bear Zhu Shengquan's perverted love for him, fled out of the classroom.

Courage shattered, sorry, he chose to escape.

He ran to the toilet and splashed cold water on his face, and met Gu Chaoming who had come out of the toilet smoking again.Although he had yelled at him before, Gu Chaoming still showed concern for him.

When it comes to frostbite, Lin Jianfan chooses to avoid it by taking a detour.

He didn't want to mention the past.

The new school presented him with many challenges. Letting him know Gu Chaoming also presented him with a difficult problem: when they were not familiar with each other, they made mistakes and were caught, and the teacher told you to leave.

Lin Jianfan stood there wondering whether he should leave or not. He was obviously unfamiliar, but he was constrained by a classmate friendship that had not yet formed.Lin Jianfan looked at Gu Chaoming and Su Bing. Su Bing was still bickering with Lao Chen, hoping that Lao Chen would let them go. Gu Chaoming stood beside him listening and laughing.

No one noticed his hesitation and hesitation.

Gu Chaoming, who was not familiar with him but had met several times, pushed him away, pushing away his hesitation and hesitation.

But after a few classes, Lin Jianfan saw that Gu Chaoming had the best relationship with Cen Xili and Su Bing.

He also wants to get along with the people in the class like this, and he also wants to integrate into this new class, but it seems to be more difficult than he imagined.

Much harder.

During class, I received Li Zhao’s apology and a note for a meal appointment. After writing the reply to Li Zhao’s note, Lin Jianfan went back and read what he had written. His clenched fingers revealed his innermost feelings, but such a small movement is doomed. No one found out.

He also nervously read a note several times silently in his heart.

"Dinner together at noon?"

Unknown classmates sent invitations to dinner, the sense of integration in the class deepened little by little, and the feeling of wanting to escape was dispelled little by little.Lin Jianfan felt a little happy and a little anxious, the two emotions were intertwined, and he couldn't tell which one was higher.

The happiness came from Li Zhao's initiative to make dinner appointments, and the uneasiness came from his not knowing how to talk to them.

He is not used to eating with others, and eating is destined to talk.

When no one was paying attention to him, he was looking forward to someone coming to talk to him, but now that someone offered him an olive branch for dinner, he actually wanted to refuse for a moment.

It was just a moment.

Lin Jianfan remembered the goals he set for himself after he knew he was going to transfer to another school. He knew that if he wanted to integrate into this class and make new friends, he had to break through his fear.

Lin Jianfan's fake smile when eating with Li Zhao made him feel hypocritical.

Conscious of hypocrisy, Lin Jianfan still felt happy. The two people on the opposite side invited him to have dinner together, which meant that he was being accepted by them and gradually integrated into the class.

The panic and helplessness of wanting to escape home melted under the scorching sun.

What happened after noon seemed to speed up suddenly, and he bumped into Gu Chaoming who was helping him move the books.

At that time, he was really scared, afraid that Gu Chaoming would get angry, but Gu Chaoming didn't.

Lin Jianfan didn't know how to use one word to describe his first day at the new school.

He not only encountered the same rejection as in the previous school, but also met such a beautiful young man as Gu Chaoming.

Moving a book and causing someone's forehead to bleed, Gu Chaoming could never imagine how guilty and scared Lin Jianfan felt at that time, he was afraid that Gu Chaoming would blame him for this incident, so he kept waiting even after school, and asked On the way to the infirmary, he didn't dare to apologize to Gu Chaoming.

He was scared, very scared.

In fact, he followed Gu Chaoming to the school corridor. Because Gu Tao dared not go home, Lin Jianfan still didn't have the courage to stop him after following him all the way.Gu Chaoming found him by himself and gave him his hat.

The received hat gave Lin Jianfan enough courage to take Gu Chaoming to the hospital for another examination.

Gu Chaoming refused to let him pay and was still laughing in the hospital. Seeing Fan watching him retreat outside the hospital gate, Lin thought of going to school to see him yesterday.

So did he.

Backed up and waved at him.

The many flattering incidents that happened later, such as buying coke in gym class, helping Yu Hangwei to buy meals, and not blaming others for taking care of everything, Lin Jianfan also reflected on it, but when he came to class, he changed back to the original.

He was afraid that if he stopped trying to please others, others would not be friends with him.

He thought that he, like Zhu Shengquan, had a sick mind.

The only one who gave him firm belief and made him feel that he could be good friends with him without being flattered was Gu Chaoming.

The scores of the first monthly exam amazed the whole class,