Lost the most important place in your heart

Kise Ryota, what do these four words mean to me?

Is it a super popular high school model, a talented basketball player, or the prince charming in the hearts of many girls?

These used to be things that I was proud of, even now, I want to hold on to my vanity, right?

The life in the early stage of junior high school is very boring, and I can only desperately find something that can make me not so boring.

Therefore, meeting basketball was an accident, and meeting him was also an accident.

I used to think that it was because I took one more look at the handsome Xiao Qingfeng playing basketball at that time, and later fell in love with the incomparably handsome dunk, that I fell in love with basketball completely.

But now I know that's not the case.

I don't know since when, I have become more and more greedy, I want to catch all the balls passed from you, I just want to rely on me to score.

At that time, my growing self-awareness made me radicalized, like them, thinking that basketball can be won by itself.In that way, I didn't find your disappointment, maybe I found it, and I pretended not to care, so that I didn't know what I had lost.

I never realized at that time that when you become the first special, only you are really special.

I thought I was a master in the field of love, but I really realized that I had to be told by others before I knew that I had true feelings for you.

But before that, fate played a kind of joke on me.

In last year's Wintercup, it was really exciting to be able to face Xiao Akashi's Luoshan and Xiaoqingfeng's Tonghuang, because they are the opponents I want to win even if I die, so even if my foot injury recurs , Even if standing became a problem, I persisted until the last moment, tried my best, and finally won them. At that moment, I thought the whole world was applauding me proudly.

Unexpectedly, after the game, there was a problem with my foot. I thought I could recover after a period of rest, but all my illusions were shattered by a cold inspection report.

If I want to keep my feet, I can no longer play basketball. At that time, I was in pain and even crazy. I went to and from various hospitals, hoping to hear different conclusions.

However, I prayed desperately, worked hard, and never gave up, but what I got in exchange was only those doctors shaking their heads again and again.

At that time, the only thing I thought of was your encouragement. You will definitely not let me give up, so I will have the courage not to give up.

However, Akashi could easily see through my thoughts, and there was nothing he could do about it.

In this era, my feelings for you are not allowed. I can no longer play ball. For me, the only possibility in the future is being a model. , then my future will be nothing.

At that time, how will you treat me, little blackie?Will you stay with me, or just leave me like this?

I can't bear losing you after losing everything.

I'm a coward, and I'm too selfish, so, at that point, I can only accept Akashi's suggestion and give up on you.

But, little Heizi, you know what?Your message reminder and incoming call ringtone are special, so I knew it was you when your message came that day.

Almost ran to my mobile phone, edited the content of the reply at the first time, but my finger stayed on the send button and couldn't press it no matter what.

I quickly closed the phone, threw it on the table, ran straight to the bed, buried my head in the quilt and cried, those words of price were like chains binding my whole body, making me unable to move.

And the text message that was not sent that day has been in my draft box, and I will never delete it in my life, and you will never see it after all.

Little Heizi, I'm sorry.

It was Friday night, and I received your text message again, Xiao Heizi. At that time, I was really ecstatic, but the joy only lasted for less than a minute, and I immediately realized that this is not something I can reply to. It was too late to lose the text message, and the exclusive ringtone rang for you. For me, at that moment, the world lit up.

Picking up the phone tremblingly, my whole body was trembling crazily, God knows how much I wanted to answer it, but the voices filling my head were all "no", "no", my left hand tried my best to stop the right hand who wanted to answer the phone .

In order to curb my delusions, I simply walked to the window and looked at the city. Under the cover of night, the lights are on, and the vehicles are constantly flowing. Everyone has a different way of life. I am nostalgic. This kind of life ?I can't accept life without light, can I?

So, I can't take this call.

I've made up my mind to cut off contact with you.

I just didn’t expect that I would actually see you the next day. The smile I had forced all day, I guarantee that it was real the second I saw you, but I had to calm down and say goodbye to you.

The girl who came with you, at that time, I thought she should just be your friend, a very kind person, different from those girls around me, so it turns out that Xiao Heizi’s friends are all very beautiful people .

Little Heizi, when you said that you were willing to accompany me to find hope, I was so happy that I was going crazy.

At that time, I just want to say to you: "Are you really willing to stay with me all the time? Are you willing to accept my feelings? If my foot is still not cured in the end, and I still can't play anymore, will you think I have lost my luster? ? If in the end I couldn’t even be a model because of our relationship, would you still be willing to accompany me at that time? Would you accompany me who has nothing?”

Hey, little Heizi, would you like me like this?

In the end, I still didn’t say anything, obviously you have done that, obviously you said you would accompany me, I really really... But at that time, Sasaki Meiling’s words coincided with that person’s, I I want to hear you say that I like you, but because it's you, you won't like me, right?Not to mention, the me who has nothing.

I, escaped.

After that, living a life without basketball and without you is boring.

Isn't this the life I want in exchange for giving you up?

Why is it like this?

Later, Kasamatsu-senpai came to me, which was expected. At that time, I was already shaken, and I only had to talk about it, especially after knowing that it was Seirin's match, I was already ready to move.

When I saw the game, I almost guessed what Xiaolujian was going to do. I was never the only one who couldn't afford the price.

When the game was almost over, I saw Xiao Qingfeng, he was much more unfeeling than I imagined, I thought at least there would be nostalgia, but I didn't expect him to be so decisive.

I, who sent Xiao Qingfeng away, did not return to my seat, and simply stood at the door and looked at you. You are always the most dazzling existence on the basketball court. move away.

It's just that I didn't expect Xiaolujian to be so ruthless. Even you ran away with a pale face after the game.

I, dodged, watched you rushing towards the exit, with tears all over your face, I wanted to help you wipe away those tears so much, I already took a step, but I couldn’t take the second step, I watched you rushing out into the endless storm, but I was indifferent.

There, it was an accident to meet Komomoi, and even more so to meet that girl named Chris.

Her overly blunt eyes and thought-provoking questions are all accusing me of what I did to you, my indifference, my selfishness, my... I hurt you mercilessly.

Won't you go after you?Yes, I avoided it before. I said that I am a coward. This point has not changed.

She pressed on every step of the way, I kept backing, she let me go, but even Xiao Momoi, who kept saying that she liked you, left you and went after Xiao Qingfeng, so I should chase you even more, and I can't let you alone People, we all know this, but for Xiaomojing, Xiaoqingfeng is more important, while I am a coward.

Momoi gave the phone to Chris, and I racked my brains to think of what I could do for you, but in the end I just gave her the umbrella, at least giving you a place to hide from the rain, even though you must have been wet .

I should be with you, if you want to get in the rain, I will be with you, if you are hurt and need to cry, I will be with you, if you want to run in the rain, I will be with you, this is my heart The thing I want to do the most is to dream after all.

The moment Chris chased you out, I realized that I had lost the right to stand by your side.

The game is over, the crowd has dispersed, but I can't leave, the lights are not dimmed, and it seems that you are still struggling on the court.

Tears blurred my eyes. I grabbed the railing and slid down bit by bit. Then, with all my strength, I shouted at the empty field: "Little Heizi! Little Heizi! Little Heizi!"

It was expected to be chased out by the security guards of the gymnasium as a lunatic. The rain was still heavy at this time, so I still rushed out, raised my head, and let the undispelled rain slap my face, Xiao Hei Son, you have been in the rain for so long, you must be in more pain than me.

I seem to have forgotten the direction of home, just walk along the street by instinct, your teary face is still in my mind.

From the very beginning, I should have chased you out, little Heizi, you must have been soaked in the rain for so long, the rain is so cold, and you are so thin, can you really stand it ?What should I do if I catch a cold?if……

Can't think about it anymore, you will be fine, you will continue to live well.

but me……

I can only choose this way to be in the rain with you, and I will bear all the pain you have endured with you.

I have only walked a few steps, and my feet seem to be hurting a bit. When did I become so weak?Obviously you are still suffering, little blackie, did Chris find you?

Have you already walked to the subway station?Go back quickly, take a comfortable hot bath, and sleep well.

And then when you wake up tomorrow, it's another beautiful day, cloudless and sunny, and you're sure to be smiling again, even though it's not because of me anymore.

From now on, there will be someone else by your side to accompany you, and you will slowly, slowly forget me, the person who hurt you so much.

Because I'm a coward.

Hey, Xiao Heizi, if, I said, if, is there such a possibility, you would like me?