A goblin who doesn't want to stir up trouble is not a good goblin

Shen Shihuai was in S City, so he was absent.Guo Jiji was attacked by the other party's love words from time to time throughout the weekend, and Shen Shihuai's love words were earthy and coquettish.

For example, Guo Jiji was making a picture, and Shen Shihuai sent a sentence, "Do you know why I am a chicken?"

Guo Jiji was puzzled: "?? Why?"

Shen Shihuai said: "Because I was born to belong to Haw."

Guo Haji was so shocked that he could only say: "..."

For another example, Shen Shihuai would send some sentences that looked like emotion: "It rained in city S today. I read the weather forecast in city H, and it showed that the weather was sunny. Hey, the weather should be brighter where you are."

Guo Jiji replied blankly: "City S is now experiencing frontal rain. The cold air mass from the inland and the warm air mass from the ocean converge. Because the cold air is heavy and the warm air is light, the warm and humid air is forced to rise, and condenses when it encounters condensation, forming A long, wide band of rain..."

At night, Shen Shihuai would send: "When the stars are close to the moon, the light will be a little dimmer. When I'm close to you, the mood will be sweeter."

Guo Jiji: "It's sweet because of the secretion of dopamine...it conveys excitement and happiness..."

……

Shen Shihuai produced Tu family's love stories like crazy, Guo Jiji replied solemnly, and complained at the same time, and after madly complaining, he quietly saved the screenshots of the love words in the album.

Shen Shihuai's update in Love Bank also didn't fall behind, he seemed to be more free after his business trip, and updated three sketches of Guo Jiji a day.On the first day, it was pretty normal. The paintings were humanoid Guo Jiji running, eating fruit and sleeping. From the second day on, the style of painting became strange.

Guo Jiji saw that Shen Shihuai drew himself and him sitting in the yard holding hands, with a chick squatting at his feet, pecking at the rice grains with his head down.

What kind of childbearing style is this?Guo Haji was struck with a message: Where did the chicken come from?

Shen Shihuai said: "Adopted chicken essence."

It turned out that the painting was Chicken Essence Kindergarten.Guo Haji touched his face, just now he was really afraid that Shen Shihuai would say that he gave birth to it...

Stir base can not afford to hurt.

Shen Shihuai began to imagine the future infinitely, from a family of three to a family of five, and then to a family of children and grandchildren.Guo Jiji couldn't imagine the sound of a group of chickens chirping around him.

He was mentally weakened by imagination, and left a message: I don't want to open a chicken essence kindergarten if you paint like this.

Shen Shihuai: What's wrong.

Guo Haw: It's too noisy, I can't bear it just thinking about it.

Shen Shihuai: ...

Afraid that Guo Jiji's dream would die in the cradle and the healthy development of countless chicken essences would be curbed, Shen Shihuai reversed the direction in time and started writing.

Write your own earthy love story on the long white strip of paper.As a designer, I have never seen thousands of fonts but have also been exposed to hundreds of fonts. Shen Shihuai imitated them from memory and could post a dozen sentences a day.

In terms of words alone, every stroke was written on the tip of Guo Jiji's heart.

He touched his uncontrollable heart, and said bitterly: If you flirt, you will know how to flirt.Come back and peck you to death.

On Monday, Guo Haw went to work with anticipation.Thinking that Shen Shihuai would come back by car at ten o'clock in the evening, Guo Jiji drank three cups of chocolate milk tea excitedly.

Huaxian's health finally improved, and he started to work normally.Not seen for a few weeks, he became a little fatter than before.Guo Haw walked past his desk for the third time and saw him looking in the mirror: "Damn it, he's so fat and ugly."

Guo Haw stretched out his hand and snatched the mirror: "...what are you doing with my mirror?"

"Take a picture." Hua Xian looked at Guo Haji with her chin in her hand, "Haji, I'm so ugly, I'm too fat."

Guo Haw looked around, but couldn't see where the "too" was reflected: "No, it's still a bit thin."

"You don't understand," Hua Xian said sadly, "Mu Liangfeng, mmp, feed me like a pig every day."

Guo Haji thought for a while, and then exposed the truth: "Isn't feeding you just feeding pigs?"

Hua Xian: "...he just doesn't want me to have a good time, he wants me to get fat."

Guo Haji suddenly thought of what Shen Shihuai said to him, and reacted, and continued: "Yes, yes, you are too thin, it is difficult for him to speak."

Hua Xian folded his hands, and glanced up and down in surprise: "Chirp, I haven't seen you for a few weeks. You've changed. You used to only brag about your appearance, but now you speak with words." He looked up Lifting his chin, he pointed to the big characters on the wall, "Is it really disturbing?"

Guo Haji originally wanted to shake his head, but the "Hundred Years of Disturbance" was clearly hanging there, and it might become a reality in two days, so he nodded: "We can discuss it and decide which day to invite my mother's family to dinner."

Hua Xian opened his mouth into an "O" in shock, and sat in a daze.

Guo Haw is very obedient all day long, doesn’t cheat when he runs a meal, honestly pays 50 yuan, doesn’t post to Moments all day, washes up early in the evening, and lies in bed at [-] o’clock for the first time.

Tomorrow Shen Shihuai will come to pick him up from work, Guo Jiji's heart beats a little faster at the thought of seeing him, and the love words written by Shen Shihuai are floating in his mind in a mess.

As a result, Guo Jiji, who planned to go to bed early, failed to fall asleep for an hour, and his body was getting hotter and hotter.He kicked the quilt aside irritably, the temperature of the air conditioner dropped, but the heart rate did not drop.He still can't sleep.

The wind from the air conditioner was so strong that the soles of his bare feet were cold, and the heat in his heart continued to linger.Guo Jiji plucked his hair twice, bit his lip and sat up, opened WeChat by accident, and listened to Shen Shihuai's voice.

Fuck I'm done, I'm really done.Guo Jiji thought to himself.

Guo Jiji listened to each one, and when he heard eleven o'clock, Shen Shihuai sent him a message: "Haven't slept yet?"

Guo Haw: "How do you know?"

Shen Shihuai replied: "It shows that it is inputting."

Guo Jiji listens to the voice, and occasionally clicks on the WeChat dialog box, and a jumping vertical line appears to be input. At this time, the other party's mobile phone will display "typing in progress".

As soon as Shen Shihuai returned to City H, he clicked on WeChat and found that Guo Haji was typing from time to time, but there was no news for a long time, so he had no choice but to ask.

"Want to chat with me but don't know what to say?"

Guo Jiji: "No, I didn't type, I accidentally touched it."

Shen Shihuai's phone call came right away, and he called him like a chicken: "Guo Jiji."

Guo Jiji's ears tingled for a while: "Huh?"

"You haven't typed, so what are you doing when you click on my dialog box?" Shen Shihuai asked leisurely on the other end, "Do you want to look through the previous chat records?"

Guo Haw: Oops, it looks like I was discovered.

Shen Shihuai didn't wait for him to come up with an excuse, so he exposed him: "Recently I've been sending you voice messages, aren't you listening to my voice messages?"

Guo Jiji's ears were burning like fire, and he denied it weakly and in a low voice: "No, no."

"Oh..." Shen Shihuai's voice tonight was particularly hooked, and his tone was rippling, like snow falling from the eaves in spring, "Would you like to come out, I have a gift for you."

Guo Haji waited downstairs for 5 minutes and saw Shen Shihuai driving over.

Guo Haw looked at the back seat, and found that there was an empty space above the back seat: "Where's the present?"

Shen Shihuai got off the driver's seat, put his hands on his shoulders, and pushed him to the trunk: "Close your eyes."

Guo Jiji guessed casually: "You don't want to send me a trunk of flowers in a very vulgar way, do you?" He thought Shen Shihuai would refute, but the other party was silent for a while.Guo Jiji turned around: "I'm talking nonsense, is it really a box of flowers?"

This kind of plot of a bad TV series on a bad street?Is Shen Shihuai still using it?

Guo Haji glanced at him, then turned his head to stare at the trunk: "Okay, I won't dislike it."

Shen Shihuai took a step forward, and said, "Forget it, don't close your eyes. You guessed it right." He stretched out one hand to grab Guo Haji, brought him to his side, and opened the trunk with the other hand.

A box full of flowers is a variety that Guo Jiji can't name.The petals are like the most common leaves, the stamens are very long, the whole body is white, and the top is darker.The color of the petals is gradient, the bottom is white, and the tips are purple, orange, and yellow-green.There are also small spots like sesame seeds on the petals.

Guo Haw glanced back and forth, and asked him: "What is this?

"I ordered the colorful lilies imported from the Netherlands at the flower shop before I left. Do you like them?" Shen Shihuai walked up to Guo Haji, got very close to him, and asked him with his head bowed.

"What are you buying this for?"

Shen Shihuai cupped his face with his hands, forcing him to look up: "I want to give it to Guo Haji, and let him have a relationship with me for a hundred years."

The flower language of lily is a hundred years of love, which was used by Shen Shihuai to bless her for a hundred years.

Guo Haji blinked: "Oh..." His face had already turned red, and he looked more shy than Lily.

Shen Shihuai turned his index finger and scratched his nose: "Will you?"

Guo Jiji rolled his eyes and pulled his hand: "Wait a minute."

Guo Haw took a step back, took out his phone, flung his hands for 2 minutes, then raised his head and said, "Take out your phone."

Shen Shihuai didn't know why, so he took out his phone.

Guo Haji continued: "Click to open the Love Bank."

Shen Shihuai did as he did, and when he opened the app, he received an invitation from the other party. It was no longer "Your father asks you for a kiss" but "Guo Jiji asks you for a kiss".

Shen Shihuai suddenly felt that he was being teased instead of seductive.

He clicked to agree, and pressed his index finger up to confirm success with Guo Jiji. After the end, Guo Jiji said: "Now go back to the homepage."

Shen Shihuai did as he did, and he saw that the number of days in love changed from 0 to 1 on the homepage.

Love Bank’s calculation of the number of days in love is the calculation of the number of days. Guo Jiji and Shen Shihuai only did it on the first day of downloading Love Bank, and then did not continue, so the number of days in love became 0 the next day. .Now the two of them are doing it again, and the number of days in love has become 1.

Guo Jiji raised his head, his eyes sparkled with joy: "This is my answer."

The answer is - we have been in love for a day.

Shen Shihuai's heart was itchy by Guo Jiji's advanced provocative methods: "Haw, you just owe. Fuck."

Guo Haji put away his phone: "I'm going up." After finishing speaking, he was about to run, but Shen Shihuai took two steps forward and grabbed his arm: "Don't you give me a kiss?"

Guo Jiji turned his head: "It's too fast, I only fell in love for a day, and I only got a love at first sight in the love bank."

One day is love at first sight, and seven days in a row is heart-to-heart bond, Guo Jiji thinks, no matter what, we have to kiss after seven days!

Shen Shihuai refused, his heart was agitated by the chicken essence: "Just kiss for one minute and get a seal."

He pulled the other side over, lowered his head to cover his lips, and directly stuck out his tongue to caress the tip of Guo Jiji's tongue, and the kiss really only lasted a minute.Kiss Guo Jiji until the corners of his eyes are bubbling.

Shen Shihuai raised his hand, wiped the water stains from the corner of his mouth, and said, "Chirp, your tongue is really small."

The author has something to say:

Shen Shihuai? ? ? ?you? ?You pervert!