365 Difficult Ways To Live

Different from the cardboard that draws human skeleton X, this electronic "handbook" that records the details of Chu Dongren's life has almost no emotion or color. It just states what Chu Dongren did, what he used, where he was, and how long it took.

It's a genuine memo, just print it out and stick it on the refrigerator to remind all the staff of the boss's work and rest time.

After watching it at the time, Chu Yu was also puzzled, why did Mu Shangqing pay so much attention to Chu Dongren?Still come down meticulously?

The explanation given by Chu Dongren himself was that Mu Shangqing felt that the murderer was about to attack him, so he wanted to understand his movements and protect him.

But Muyu didn't take it seriously, and gave an explanation: this is Chief Mu's style. He not only remembers the big Chu, but also remembers himself, remembering the flowers, plants, white clouds and blue sky. He will pay attention to everything that happens around him. Record the bits and pieces.

He and Xia Yihan are two extremes. Xia Yihan is slow and weak, and doesn't care about everything, while he is delicate and sensitive, full of curiosity about everything.

Chu Yu checked his delicate records, and couldn't help but feel that the power of inheritance is really great, sometimes it seems to be carved out of a mold, and sometimes it seems to be picked up in a garbage dump.

After reading Chu Dongren's exclusive records, he found nothing unusual. Chu Yu rubbed his eyes and felt that stars were appearing in front of his eyes. If he looked at it for a few more hours, it might be the moon.

Muyu handed her the medical examination report: "Why don't you go to sleep for a while, I will read it again, and call you if there is any problem?"

"Don't sleep now. After finishing this job, I will sleep for three days and three nights. You won't be able to wake up if you want to." She took the file, moved her eyes, and began to use them again.

Mu Yu sat on the sofa to see if he could help, "Chu Chu, what do you suspect is wrong?"

"The psychological disorder detected at that time," Chu Yu stared at the column of additional symptoms, frowning, "mania."

"However, Gu Miao and the others have visited the residents of Huaxie Ting in the past, and they also said that Section Chief Mu will sometimes become irritable and crazy, but sometimes it is normal, and sometimes he turns his face and does not recognize anyone, and is easily irritated."

"I don't doubt this. What I doubt is Da Chuchu's description and treatment of his problem."

As she spoke, she raised her head and recalled, "According to him, when Section Chief Mu took part in the assessment, his condition had eased a lot, and he was almost no longer impulsive and irritable, and Section Chief Mu himself attributed this to leaving the original environment, got married and had children, and his personality has become much more cheerful and optimistic.

"There is also Da Chuchu who said that he pays special attention to Chief Mu, whether it is in life or psychologically, pay attention to his state, and both of them appreciate each other very much. Da Chuchu likes Chief Mu's persistence and down-to-earth, Mu The section chief is grateful to Da Chu for his kindness and special care."

"But," on this point, Muyu understood Chu Yu's meaning, "According to the report of the previous staff, Da Chu treated everyone equally, and he can be regarded as a good leader who is impartial, and he is very busy every day. In the department, I don’t have the time to pay special attention to who. In addition, Chief Mu usually doesn’t talk much and concentrates on his work. In terms of interpersonal relationship, the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, and there is not much intersection with Da Chu. Generally, they perform their duties. Show a good relationship."

Chu Yu put the file on the computer table and pressed it with his palm, "This is the most contradictory part of Da Chu's statement, but you can explain it. In the past, the Superman Department was not as refined as ours, with a large number of people and obvious job levels. In the case of competition, the Da Chu Department may be afraid that paying too much attention to Chief Mu will cause dissatisfaction among other staff, so he quietly pays attention to it in his heart, and if there is anything to do, call him to the office or the third floor to discuss privately."

Muyu curled his mouth, "But do you completely believe in this explanation?"

Chu Yu smiled helplessly, and said nothing. Now she doesn't believe in anything, unless she fully deciphers the truth, and then pushes it the other way around.

"So now, we have to get rid of the influence of Da Chuchu, start from the beginning, and get to know Chief Mu again, and examine his inner monologue."

Mu Yu nodded, pulled another swivel chair over, and sat down with Chu Yu, "Come on, let's watch together, when I heard about the rape of Section Chief Mu and read his diary, I was worried, I'm afraid that there will be memories about the rapist, I can't help but smash the computer!"

Chu Yu turned his head and took a look: "How do you know that I want to read the diary?"

"Don't you want to examine your inner monologue?"

Chu Yu smiled slightly, and found the folder for recording daily trivial matters. The first file was the diary.

Half a month ago, she worked overtime to finish reading it, but she didn't find any breakthrough point, but she was still unwilling - the diary, the inner monologue, are the most real and deepest reactions of a person, how could there be no clues?

Click the mouse on the document, black and white words appear, and Chu Yu inserts a series of unsolved cases according to the chronological order.

(On April 4, six years ago, Hu Qingke in Wangjiang City died of hypothermia)

April 6

There are a lot of things in the past few months, maybe I am too tired, and my mental state is not very good. I can always recall the things in my childhood, especially the jingle. As long as I think of it, I will feel uncomfortable.

In fact, I can basically face and accept the previous things, especially after I joined the current big family and established a friendly relationship with my colleagues.

Since I was in college, I have learned to join a group and cooperate with others, and the office is a supportive group. My colleagues and I help each other, discuss problems, and build trust and a sense of security. No one will use it anymore. They look at me strangely, they like me, appreciate me, and the achievements brought about by work also make me feel satisfied.

Here, I feel very at ease, it is my second home.

But the childhood experience is always there and will not change, and the only one who makes the change is myself.

Chu Chu told me that we need to "introspect" to improve our ability to perceive and clarify our inner emotions, so as to grow.

For example, like writing, writing down my deepest emotions and thoughts, trying to feel the original appearance of events and how they have affected me now.In writing, I can connect the past to the present and really let the past pass.

Just like me now, recording my feelings and emotions, I found that there are many happy things in life, and it is not so difficult to let go of the past and grow towards the future.

I believe that I can become better, even if I think of that jingle, I will not be afraid anymore, and Xiaohan will get better and better!

April 10

I have to say that Luoyu is a good place.There are many universities here, with the largest number of college students in the country, which is really a gathering of talents.This time, I was invited by the police to carry out the interrogation work. The workload was not heavy, so Chu Chu didn't stay in the government hotel. He booked a special hotel outside, and there was a Sichuan restaurant opposite, which tasted very good.

The shopkeepers are a couple, both surnamed He, the female shopkeeper is called He Lan, and the male shopkeeper is called He Zhiping.They are both bosses and waiters. They tidy up the room, cook and prepare snacks, repair electrical appliances, and help customers with luggage and take-out. They are really hardworking and capable.

They also have an old mother, I call Auntie Shi, who is considered an old shop owner, haha.Aunt Shi can be regarded as a local aborigine. She has traveled to every corner of Luoyu, and she can be called a living travel guide.

She told us that if you want to travel, you can visit the park behind. The air is fragrant and the environment is beautiful. There is also a nearby university. , there are maple leaves in autumn and small animals.

After eating, she occasionally went for a walk inside and saw a little fox. She wanted to buy a pet fox to feed, but her daughter always disagreed, saying that it was too dirty and could not be domesticated.

So I suggested to Aunt Shi that I could buy a small hamster and feed it to enjoy myself.

As a result, Auntie Shi really went to the pet market, hahaha, what a lovely auntie.

(Six years ago, on October 10, Shi Ling in Luoyu City died by hanging)

April 1

The sun is shining today, perfect for going out in the sun.Chu Chu invited me, Brother Wang, and Section Chief Gu to drink tea outside. Although there were no investigations during this time and it was relatively free, we were all in a bad mood. Something bad happened last month.

But Chu Chu still wanted us to relax, chat, and drink tea. We are all older homeboys, usually nestled in the office, and there are almost no entertainment activities. Chu Chu probably saw that our morale was low during this period. So I want to enlighten you.

We arrived at the small teahouse by the lake. It was sunny today. The boss put the tables and chairs on the wooden path outside, facing the lake and mountains. It was a good place for chatting.

Chu Chu ordered a pot of black tea, which is suitable for drinking in winter. It removes the oil and appetizers, and keeps in good health to keep out the cold. Brother Wang also ordered a deck of cards.

Soon, a table of people came to greet Chu Chu.It turned out to be his neighbor, surnamed Bai, and they were a family. They drove to the lake to play, parked the car outside, walked around the lake, and came to rest when they were tired.

Chu Chu introduced us to the family of three, saying that we are all colleagues and "gathering people to gamble" when we have nothing to do.

Mr. Bai's son is called Bai Mengmeng. He is very cute, with big eyes and plump apple muscles. He should be about the same age as Xiaohan. Looks so cute.

After that, the "gambling" continued, and the four of us continued to draw cards. Mengmeng slipped over and watched quietly from the side, saying that he wanted to learn to fight against the landlord.

His mother met and ordered a deck of cards, and the three of them also played, but it was a game while learning, and the tables and chairs on both sides were close enough to hear their conversation.

The family is really happy, Mr. Bai patiently explained to Mengmeng which card is big and which is small. Mengmeng was very interested at first, but after learning for a while, she couldn't sit still and wanted to come over to watch us play. He Said: I just want to watch others fight, I don't want to fight.

His mother tempted him and said: If you learn the cards, I will buy you two new clothes next week.

In the end, Mengmeng said: When I learn it, you don’t need to buy it, because I will win all your money.

We laughed and liked the kid.

Later, we met again in a self-service barbecue restaurant, and we felt that we were destined, so we joined together. Mr. Bai was very interested in us. He knew that the people around Chuchu were different, so he wanted to meet him.

At the dinner table, everyone ate to their heart's content. Brother Wang performed "clairvoyance". Addition, subtraction, multiplication and division, he came casually, Mr. Bai was shocked, and wanted Mengmeng to worship him as his teacher.

I showed my memory, Chu Chu asked the waiter to bring the price list, including all the barbecue ingredients in the store, there are five or six pages, let me read it in 3 minutes, and then Ms. Liao took the price list to test me, she said the name of the dish , I said the price, or she said the price, and I quoted all the corresponding dishes.

Mr. Bai was shocked again, the skewered meatballs were almost burnt.

In the end, Mengmeng also performed a stunt. He acted as a big eater and ate three people's portions by himself-we were all stunned and applauded him.

After the party today, we were all very happy. On the way home, I was thinking that it would be great if Xiaohan had a younger brother or younger sister. I pester her every day and make her happy. She should not be lonely when she is alone at home. .

But maybe I was overthinking it, she probably had a good time alone, haha.

(On January 1, five years ago, Bai Mengmeng, Wangjiang City, died in a fire)

April 1

I miss Ah Nan, it’s two o’clock in the morning, I finally fell asleep and woke up again, it’s too uncomfortable, I want to take sleeping pills, but Chu Chu doesn’t let me take medicine casually, he told me that if I feel uncomfortable, I went to find him, but he is so busy every day, if I occupy his rest time again, he will not even have time to talk to his family.

I think of the past, a long, long time ago, whenever I felt uncomfortable, Ah Nan would hug me from behind and pass the body temperature to me, and then my discomfort was like an ice cube, covered by her, slowly melting, and finally melting After that, I got better.

But now she’s gone. Although she’s been gone for six years, I still miss her. I still remember the scent of her body, the shape of her nails, the slight itch when her hair rubbed against the back of my neck.She has melted into my body, and I will never forget it in my life.

Sometimes when I see Xiaohan alone at home, I wonder whether to remarry, and someone to help take care of Xiaohan, but I can't get over my own hurdles. Except for Nan, I will never fall in love with other women. I believe Xiaohan is the same, except Ah Nan, she will never recognize other people as mothers.

I feel terrible.

Whenever I feel uncomfortable like this, I hope that Ah Nan can be by my side. Even though she is very cold to me and doesn’t pay much attention to me when she is sick, as long as I look at her and know that she is by my side, I feel better .

April 2

During this period of time, I have been running back and forth between Superman's office and the Public Security Bureau. I am a little busy, but I still hope that I can help my friends in the bureau. They have no holidays for Chinese New Year this year, and they work overtime to investigate and accompany Xiaohan. , I also got busy with them, and I was always anxious to see if I could do my part to help solve the case.

April 3

Now I feel that I am much better, I will not lose my temper, and I will not get angry easily. Even after Ah Nan left, I can control my emotions. Although sometimes I feel very sad and feel empty in my heart. But it may be because Xiaohan is there and I have a goal in my work, so I am not depressed, and I live a fulfilling life every day.

Xiaohan has grown up gradually. Although she is still small, a little baby fat, and looks like a low-grade elementary school student, she has already started junior high school and is an older child.

However, her temperament has not changed at all, she doesn't like to talk, and she is very quiet, as if she is not interested in human beings and society.In fact, Xiaohan's teacher contacted me many times, asking me to take her to see a psychiatrist or have a physical examination.

I also want to take her to see it, but Xiao Han is always very repulsive. Like me, she rejects the word mental illness. I don’t know if it has something to do with her mother. Ah Nan committed suicide because of mental disorders.

But Xiaohan won’t go, and I won’t force her. Others say she has no feelings, but I can feel that at least she likes me. Last Father’s Day, she cut a three-dimensional greeting card by herself, and opened the card. A house rose from the ground. In front of the house, there was a little girl and a tall and thin man.

I know that the little girl is her, and the tall man is me. Xiaohan likes me. I can see from her eyes that she approves of me as a father.

So I believe that Xiaohan just reacts a little slower and feels feelings a few dozen times slower than ordinary people, but it does not mean that she has no feelings. She is smart, rational, calm, independent, and can cook, do handwork, learn independently, She can think critically, and she can live a normal life in society in the future.

I'm just worried about her interpersonal relationship. Except for me, she doesn't seem to talk to anyone very much, and she is so cold, so I heard from the teacher that she doesn't have many friends at school, and other children are a bit repulsive to her. After all, she is too awkward. Be gregarious.

But what makes me happy is that at dinner today, Xiao Han told me that she has a friend whose name also has the word Han in it, but that girl gave up the title "Xiao Han" to her.

Although she only mentioned a few words, I was still very happy.Xiaohan finally has a friend, and she goes to the same school as her, so that they can be together every day, and in the future, they will become best friends in junior high school and high school.

It has always been my wish that Xiaohan can make friends, and now that wish has come true, I am so happy!

April 5

Today is Labor Day, and I, Chu Chu, Section Chief Gu, and Section Chief Ai are all working in Fushan Hospital.

In the past, we were full of enthusiasm for "labor", but this time, although our enthusiasm has not diminished, we are always on tenterhooks, and we are cautious in everything we do, for fear of accidents.

This time, Chu Chu also ordered all the security department to mobilize, together with the hospital's security guards, to patrol and check inside Fushan. The places with surveillance are also open 24 hours a day.As for him himself, his life trajectory was simplified to the extreme. He didn’t live in a hotel outside and slept in the ward. He went to Ward 513 during the day to check the condition of the target. Sometimes I accompanied him, and sometimes Section Chief Gu accompanied him. Go back to the ward to sleep at night.

The schedule is strict and monotonous.

However, Chu Chu was very happy today. He had an unexpected discovery that the patients who lived in the 413 ward were also different. I heard from Dean Qin that he had symptoms of hysteria and was very emotional. Nonsense, sometimes very naive, hiding in a corner and afraid of seeing people, but in a few cases, he will transform himself into a doctor, analyze his illness, and act like a normal person.

Chu Chu was very interested in him, and even had a feeling of hating seeing each other later. He also said that he would mention it to him, and if he wanted, let me meet and communicate with him.

Thinking of meeting him, I also became excited and felt a sense of sympathy. In fact, he is very similar to me—both have psychological problems, but they discover, understand, try to solve, and finally heal themselves.

Except for Chu Chu, I have never talked about my experience with others. I believe that after meeting "Dr. Lu", there must be many common topics.

Looking forward to meeting him!

(On May 5, five years ago, Lu Xuanwen of Changyan City died of panic)

April 5

There was an accident in Xiaohan's school. I heard that the child in the accident also had the word Han in his name, so I guessed whether it was Xiaohan's good friend.

But Xiaohan didn't answer, instead she asked me if I was tired from work.

How should I put it, a lot of things have happened recently, not only at work, but also very unexpected situations. I feel like a lump of lead is stuffed in my heart. If I don’t understand them all, I will be in a panic, so I will be more tired than my colleagues. The pressure will also be greater.

I told Xiaohan not to worry about me, but she told me not to go to work, she took care of me.

Hey, this child, I must have been too haggard recently, so busy that I caught her attention.I never mentioned my job to Xiao Han, she only knew it was very confidential, and overtime work and business trips were commonplace.

She has always understood me, but recently I have been too busy, and she can't stand it anymore.

But I have to be busy, I have to try my best to clarify the matter and protect Chu Chu, I believe that after this time passes, it will be much better.

(On May 5, five years ago, Xia Yihan in Wangjiang City died of drowning)