Wei Ran Chen Feng

19.

"Xiao Ran," a woman's gentle voice is next to my ear, "Your classmate is here to look for you."

Yan Ran turned over, answered "Oh", and sat under the covers for more than ten seconds before slowly sitting up and getting dressed.

Liang Shuo had been waiting for him downstairs for a long time. Seeing that he was still coming down slowly, he couldn't help but shudder, "Why are you so slow today?"

Yan Ran rubbed his eyes, obviously still looking like he hadn't woken up: "I had insomnia yesterday, and I couldn't fall asleep at two or three o'clock, and now I'm sleepy to death."

"You deserve it. The first class this morning is Lao Xiu's class. You have to sleep on the table and see if he doesn't kill you." Liang Shuo snorted twice, and then asked with some concern, "Why are you insomnia?"

Yan Ran smiled wryly: "Who knows. Maybe it's because the subjects are about to be divided up. Do you choose essays or science?"

Liang Shuo handed over the steamed stuffed bun and soy milk, shook his head and said, "I don't know, my arts and sciences are similar, neither particularly good nor bad."

"I might choose science." Yan Ran looked down at the road, took a sip of soy milk, and said sullenly, "I just don't want to be separated from you. No matter what, I have been at the same table for a year..."

Liang Shuo reached out and rubbed his hair, and said with a smile, "What are you worried about? Doesn't it start next semester? Take care of the final exam first."

Yan Ran made a "hmm", silently drinking soy milk and nibbling on steamed buns, and stopped talking.

Suddenly, it seemed that Liang Shuo sighed: "I don't want to be separated from you, little Yanzi."

20.

Yan Ran ate with Liang Shuo and Chen Xi at noon.

For the past year, Yan Ran has been caught in an inevitable entanglement every day: Who will eat lunch with?

Chen Xi often waits for him at the back door of their class after class in the morning, the reason is that he doesn't know anyone well except Yan Ran, and he is even more embarrassed to eat with others.

Even if Yan Ran didn't have to think about it, he would know that these words must be fooling him. Chen Xi is quite good-looking, especially those clear and bright eyes and his small canine teeth, who knows how many girls he can attract.Moreover, he plays basketball well, and the boys must welcome him.If you are really "unfamiliar" with others, then who is the person who laughs the loudest when Yan Ran passes by their class?But in the end Yan Ran still didn't reject him, probably out of some selfishness.

Not to mention Liang Shuo, they were at the same table, and Yan Ran felt somewhat inexplicably guilty towards him because of Chen Xi, let alone refused.

Fortunately, these two people occasionally go home at noon, and Yan Ran was able to avoid a lot of entanglements at this time.

Yan Ran was very curious, how could he be worthy of the two of them vying to have lunch together?And... Isn't it just lunch, what's there to argue about?

But if he wanted to think about it, he couldn't ask. He also knew that neither of these two people was serious.

Sitting opposite him, Chen Xi asked with a smile, "Yan Ran, why do you look so listless today?"

Before Yan Ran could answer, Liang Shuo rushed to say, "What's the matter with you?"

Chen Xi's face darkened obviously: "Did I ask you?"

Yan Ran said helplessly: "It's just that I didn't get enough sleep. What's so noisy about it?"

In fact, Yan Ran really has nothing to do with them, as long as the three of them are together, the two of them can quarrel for countless inexplicable reasons, and the center of the theme always revolves around Yan Ran.

Yan Ran didn't know how to describe this feeling...it was weird.

"Ah, why do the dishes in the dining hall always have minced garlic? It's so unpalatable!"

"If it tastes bad, don't eat it," Chen Xi sneered, "It just happens to save a portion of food."

Liang Shuo raised his eyebrows, as if he was about to open his mouth to scold, Yan Ran hurriedly pressed his hand, "Two big brothers, calm down, let's break up after dinner, there's nothing to quarrel about."

Liang Shuo finished finishing the food on the plate in three mouthfuls, patted Yan Ran on the shoulder, and gave Chen Xi a provocative look: "Let's go."

Yan Ran followed suit, hesitated for a moment, and said to Chen Xi: "...Then let's go back to the classroom first, you eat slowly."

Liang Shuo looked at Yan Ran behind him, and sighed, "I'm worthless, I'm worthless, my little swallow is anxious to help outsiders."

"Wait, what is your family? What else is an outsider?" Yan Ran retorted: "I don't want to see the two of you arguing all day long. You don't know how good your relationship is. It won't work if you stop for a while. .”

"Tsk tsk," Liang Shuo shook his head, and sighed, "Little Yanzi, you were really led off by Chen Xi. You used to be so well-behaved. You would never argue with me."

Yan Ran: "...Obviously you are talking nonsense!"

"Forget it, I won't tell you about this." Liang Shuo straightened his face and said, "You and him... have really become good buddies?"

Yan Ran knew this "he".

Yan Ran scratched her hair in a tangled voice, her voice was a little dull: "I don't know... I'm confused, it seems to be more playful... You know my character, I feel embarrassed to death when I stay with someone I don't know well ... But Chen Xi, I felt that getting along was very natural from the very beginning."

Liang Shuo turned sideways and rubbed his hair, and then said: "Hey, I don't think there is anything. It's just that he was too ostentatious when he was in junior high school, and I was very impressed. I'm afraid there is something... you I was led to ruin by him." The conversation changed, and he said again: "But now he really doesn't have the old ruffian aura, he looks like a good student... It would be better if he could quarrel with me less. "

Yan Ran laughed with a "poof", "Yes, yes, sir, don't worry, we are both good students."

Liang Shuo was also happy, and said: "Why, I feel like an enlightened parent. If the two children are going to fall in love early, I have to tell them to pay attention to this and that."

Yan Ran's expression froze inexplicably, but he quickly lowered his head, and said in a brisk voice: "Master, please rest assured, I will definitely not fall in love early."

21.

Because it was a summer night, the cicadas outside the window kept chirping, and when the wind blew into the bedroom, it was a bit cool, but also a bit stuffy and hot.

The wall clock on the wall clearly showed that it was already 01:30 in the morning, but Yan Ran tossed and turned on the bed for a long time, and finally found sadly that he would inevitably suffer from insomnia again.

He got up and read the book for a while, and wrote some exercises, but he couldn't learn anything in his mind, and he always felt messed up.

What Liang Shuo said at noon... Yan Ran couldn't help but want to take it out and study it carefully, to see if Liang Shuo's original intention was to tease, or if he really noticed something.

His feelings for Chen Xi are not normal at all.

It's all nonsense to talk about good buddies.

He likes Chen Xi, just like the kind of love between a man and a woman when they are in love.

This is something he has known for a long time, maybe it was the first monthly exam, maybe it was... when they first met.At that time, he already had this premonition.

I can't say why, he has never liked any girl since he was a child. This may be explained by the fact that he seldom interacts with others. However, how can a boy with a truly normal sexual orientation be exposed because of the male sexuality he inadvertently browsed on the Internet? Inexplicable physiological response to the photo of the abdominal muscles?How could it be more nervous when being touched by a boy than when facing a girl?

He was also worried about being discovered by Yan's mother, secretly looked up information about homosexuality on the Internet, and quietly deleted all records.

Homosexuality is one of the sexual orientations, which refers to people who only have love and sex with the same sex. Individuals with this sexual orientation are called homosexuals.

Well, I'm gay too.

He said to himself in his heart.

He knew that although "homosexuality" has been excluded from mental illness in the past few years, there are still many people who hate, resent, and even hate this group.Of course Yan Ran didn't dare to tell anyone around him that he was afraid of many things, afraid of other people's strange eyes, afraid of being treated differently, and also afraid that the closest people around him would leave him.So he can only stay away from the crowd as far as possible, and stay away from people, so that this secret will not be discovered.

And up to now, what he fears the most is Chen Xi's alienation.

What would happen to Chen Xi if he found out?Does he feel sick?When they were together, they talked almost everything, and often went out to play together, but... But he could tolerate a guy of the same sex around him, in the name of a good friend and buddy, he behaved intimately with him on the surface, and liked him secretly looking at him?

Yan Ran didn't know, and he didn't dare to think about it.

Every time he was with Chen Xi and Liang Shuo, he was always afraid that Liang Shuo would see something, his hidden feelings for Chen Xi. After all, Liang Shuo... Although he seemed to like to laugh and have no face, he was very shrewd.

……never mind.

Yan Ran stuffed his head into the pillow, and told himself that if he didn't sleep, the dark circles under his eyes would break through the sky... No matter how much he thought about it, it seemed useless, he was always the passive side, what could he do?

Later, Yan Ran tossed and turned for a long time, but fortunately, physical exhaustion finally hit him, and he finally fell asleep, even if this sleep... he didn't sleep soundly.