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...how could he be gay?He is doing well in graduate school, and he is also a national ballroom dancer. Because our family is not well off, he will occasionally perform part-time jobs to earn his own tuition fees... How can this candidate be so heartless?Just to help him create a performance at the party, and say he is gay?He was forced to death, do you know how much pressure he was pointed at? ...The newspaper just published it to teach him how to behave?How do you want him to explain? ... Give back my brother's life! ..."

Tony hadn't really said he was gay.He only said that he was fighting against himself and the world, but what he couldn't fight was...

Aaron rushed out of the cafeteria halfway through the news broadcast.He couldn't bear to continue to listen to the students from the same school talking about it while watching the news.

They know shit!He had a hunch that the teaching assistant's family was lying.Even if outsiders point and point, it's not enough to kill Tony.The world is nothing more than a stranger's mouth, but the person who cares the most is the most difficult to fight against.Judging from the attitude of his family who continued to deny him after his death, Tony must have been ashamed to commit suicide because he was constantly being asked about his sexuality by his family after reporting it!

They used to be friends.They could have continued to be friends.

During that time together, whether Aaron was willing to admit it or not, in fact, he and Tony had a certain revolutionary emotion.Looking back on the days of dancing practice, he found that he had more memories of Tony than he thought.He probably knew the truth about his death better than his family.I ran like crazy on the track field where there was no one on campus in the middle of the night, lap after lap, but I still couldn't get rid of the guilt in my heart.It wasn't just his family, the media, and the candidate who used gay issues to fight for the page that killed Tony.How can it be said that his indifference is not another accomplice?If they were still friends, maybe Tony could come and complain to him, ask him what to do.Then he will tell him: No matter what your family thinks, you can move out by yourself like me, and live the life you want independently——!

Once, the second he jumped on the stage, Tony trusted him completely.

Although it became awkward during dance practice later, both of them knew at that second on stage that as long as they focused on this one goal at the moment, other emotions were not important.In fact, as long as he catches Tony like he did when they danced together, he will be fine—

But I missed it.

He was the only one left in the apartment, and Xiao Min had gone out.The past that he hadn't recalled for many years made Aaron suddenly feel lonely.He himself didn't understand why he couldn't tell Xiao Min the whole story about the assistant's death?

In the closest relationship, there are always some things that only belong to me.After so many years, he almost thought that the second half of the story was his imagination. Is the teaching assistant really dead?

It turned out to be true.He found that even when he was crying on the track and field that night, he still had a clear memory of the smell of heather trees that wafted from the campus.Is it possible for that tango for two to be remembered by my own body?Will there still be the rhythm and pull hidden in his muscles at that time, like a series of lost footprints under the snow and ice for many years, perhaps still leading him to a certain place?

Unexpectedly, this time, he was dragged into the life and death of a comrade again for no reason.

I didn't realize it before, since the first time I found that Lin Guoxiong was lying in the dark shop, he may have been unable to control himself, driven by the instructions from this past memory, no wonder he felt that he couldn't let go?

At the same time, he was dodging subconsciously, afraid that others would see his worry, so he couldn't even tell Xiao Min frankly.Is this due to the deep-rooted defense left after being brainwashed since childhood?

This world taught us the rules of survival with clear barriers very early on.Because people who know how to be afraid know better what kind of life is safe-this idea always comes to his mind from time to time.

I can't describe the conflict in my heart at this moment.He always thought he was a good guy.

Silently walked to the center of the small living room, adjusted his standing posture, closed his eyes, and retrieved from his memory the preparatory action he had made when he stood on the stage before the music appeared that year, the one facing an invisible sky. A beckoning gesture made by a pigeon.

This faint pain in the bottom of my heart actually seemed to be some kind of calling to him.The pigeon that has been hovering in the lonely and empty midnight sky, unable to land, is himself.

◎

Although he promised Xiao Min that he would go out early to sell skin care products, Aaron, who had barely closed his eyes all day, wanted to take a nap, but when he opened his eyes, it was almost time for the supermarket's night shift.

Usually he would come to the store early, because the colleague from the previous shift was pregnant, and he always taught her to leave the rough work of putting the goods on the shelves to him.This night, Aaron had the cheek to call Qiuqiu and ask her to replace him for half an hour.For the sake of owed you so much before, okay, okay, Qiuqiu said.Then I asked again, are you so tired today?Is it related to Andy's stroke at the opposite gaybar?

Andy?Only then did he know that Lin Guoxiong still had this name, and at the same time he thought, the news of that man's stroke spread too fast, didn't he?

Qiuqiu, who was five months pregnant, didn't forget to rummage through the shelves before she left, and stuffed a few sandwiches that were about to expire at midnight into her backpack.Seeing this, Aaron asked casually: Husband is still unemployed?

"What unemployment! I just don't want to be employed! I told him that Xiaoqi in the alley next door was short of people, and he wouldn't go if I taught him to go! Why would he refuse to work in a supermarket when I could work? He always said that he wanted to start a new business and make a comeback , I asked him what to do after the baby is born? He actually said that we will move back to his hometown in Luodong and let his mother take care of it! Oh, I am so miserable..."

Unexpectedly, she was out of control when she asked inadvertently.At the beginning, Aaron watched them go from dating to getting married. At that time, Qiuqiu's husband had a small store selling clothes in the night market. Because the rent kept rising, he finally had to close the stall.

"Let me tell you, getting married is really boring!" Qiuqiu said and then complained about a bunch of trivial matters, her anger subsided, and she herself felt a little embarrassed:

"Telling you this, it seems that I have bought you as a sister, haha! It's all you, why didn't you chase me back then, I don't think you will be that kind of irresponsible girl④...why didn't you have a girlfriend Oh my friend?"

Aaron smiled awkwardly.Is there anything that happened in this alley that she doesn't know?Because he knew Qiuqiu's personality, his tone was always tight.This made Qiuqiuhui misunderstand, and suddenly lowered his voice: "I actually wanted to ask you a long time ago. Ah, are you gay after all? Sister, I am not an outsider..."

"Yes, yes, no, no, why should I keep this from you?"

But why did I hide from everyone that I was living with Xiao Min?After I finished speaking, I felt that this answer was grammatically ill.

"What? Do you have any objections to gays?" While talking, Aaron also helped a customer pay the bill. The customer heard their conversation and glanced back with reproachful eyes before leaving.

"What are you looking at? I think you probably are." Qiuqiu spat at the back of the man who had already left the store, and after saying that, he felt that this was boring and burst out laughing.

"You are so powerful, you can tell by looking at it, right?"

While speaking, Aaron's eyes were still staring at the guest's back involuntarily, observing his movements, and he didn't look back at ease until he was not walking towards MELODY on the opposite side.

The storefront with the iron gate locked is like a toothless cavity sandwiched between the lit signboards of the entire row of stores.As long as someone approached or stayed nearby, he couldn't help but look twice.

Not for looking, but for smelling.Qiuqiu said.Didn't you smell the cologne he spilled half a bottle on?

A young boy whose hair was scratched like a hedgehog with hairspray appeared in the alley, stopped at the entrance of the opposite bar, and then stood there, as if lost and in a daze.

He hesitated for a moment, and wanted to go out to ask what happened, wondering if that person was waiting for the door to open for business?Maybe he'll leave by himself before the door opens.Maybe not a guest at all, he looked too young.

Deciding not to worry too much about what happened on the other side, he hurriedly changed the subject and turned to Qiuqiu: "Let me ask you, what would you do if your child was gay?"

"What can I do? I'm still my own child! But thinking that his life must be very hard, and I can't help him, of course I will be very sad—" Qiuqiu pointed to the direction across the street, "Don't you think Is that Andy miserable? Alone, now he has another stroke, how will he live in the future?"

Not comrades, even when they get old, there are many people who are disabled and sick——

Originally wanted to refute, but then thought of another more important thing.Maybe Qiuqiu usually likes to gossip with guests, so he can provide some clues.Does the boss live nearby?Are you sure he's single?

"I don't know where I live, but a while ago, he and that guy named Tang would come to open the shop together after nine o'clock, I guess they might live together?... You know which one I'm talking about? That tall and thin..."

That probably happened more than a year ago. It turned out that they even opened the store together, and Aaron didn't know about it before. "But today the police wanted to find an emergency contact person, but no one answered when they called the boss's house. The Tang brother you mentioned, I don't know where he went, he probably didn't live with him long ago?"

As soon as he finished speaking, he saw the expression on Qiuqiu's face was like a digital image freeze, his mouth turned to one side, and it took a few seconds before he uttered the sentence again: "Don't you know, is that person dead?"

In the next second, Aaron had the same blunt expression: dead?

"You really can't see anything and don't know anything when you work on the big night shift. I saw him more than a year ago as if he was sick and getting thinner. Sure enough. One evening, before the opening time of the shop, suddenly A lot of customers came, and I was watching to see what happened. It was almost eight or nine o’clock, and the customers all came out like a movie theater, and some of them were still crying in front of our store. After that, the person It never appeared again. You work late, and you didn’t see that before opening the store every day, the boss must first burn paper money at the door. It was only later that I heard from the noodle stall next door that people died, nasopharyngeal cancer or esophageal cancer. of……"

He didn't hear her last sentence at all, because something on the street completely overwhelmed his attention.

"What are you looking at? It's pitch black, what's there to see?"

If I knew it earlier, I should have posted a "Closed Business" announcement in the afternoon, Aaron thought to himself.

Because only in the blink of an eye, he saw three figures hovering in front of the iron rolling door that was pulled down on the opposite side.In addition to the young boy just now, there were two more middle-aged men.On such a winter night, their clothes were obviously too thin, all in suits, without coats or scarves to keep out the cold.Dressing so carefully is usually not the habit of customers entering and leaving the store.

Qiuqiu put on his motorcycle helmet, swayed and walked out with his pregnancy upright.At least that useless husband in her mouth will come to pick her up from get off work every day.

Aaron was left standing alone behind the counter, watching the movement on the other side at all times.

After eleven o'clock, not only did the three people still not leave, but two more joined their gathering and waiting at the door.

Why are there so many people coming to the door today?It's not a weekend holiday, what time is it already?Can't these people see that it is impossible for them to open for business today?

At one o'clock in the morning, Aaron had realized that the situation was unusual.

There were already ten people waiting at the gate of MELODY.In the low temperature at night, it seemed that they were all dressed in full suits as agreed upon.

If you look more carefully, the tailoring styles of each style are very different.There are large shoulder pads like those in the [-]s, or the long version with narrow collar and four buttons in the [-]s. There are loose old styles that Ojisang still wears, and there are also very fashionable and fit like imported famous brands. tailoring.A group of well-dressed figures gathered in front of the store like this, as if they had come to attend a mysterious party.

"Hey! Don't stand here all the time, it's cold..."

Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore, and took advantage of the absence of customers, crossed his arms in the cold wind, and walked quickly to the opposite bar. "It's not open today...not tomorrow... Anyway, it's just that it won't be open anytime soon!"

The men in suits who were standing there started to slowly turn their faces towards him one by one.

"Boss—Andy is in the hospital. Did you all make an appointment? Maybe you should post a message on Facebook to teach your friends not to make a trip in vain..."

The faces turned towards him were expressionless, and none of them opened their mouths to comment or ask him how Andy was doing.Among them, from their twenties to their fifties, all stared at him without saying a word.It was as if he was speaking into the air, or they couldn't understand his language.The slow and hollow feeling in the eyes of this group of people made Aaron take a few steps back unconsciously and defensively.

Avoiding their gaze, I was about to turn around and go back to the store, but saw the young boy with the punk hedgehog hairstyle standing precariously, as if he was about to fall down at any moment.Aaron could see why the boy caught his attention as soon as he appeared.He really is the weirdest of them all.He's wearing the big shoulder pads that were outdated 30 years ago.

The clothes and hairstyle are second to none. The strange thing is that the lines of his whole body are unnatural. The head and neck have always maintained a strange angle.An ink-colored liquid stain was oozing from his hair and crawled across his forehead.

is blood?He froze.

"Please open the door... let them in..."

This time he heard it clearly, the cold hair all over his body suddenly burst out from every pore like huge cactus thorns, making him almost want to scream.It was the morning voice again.Finally remembered.Rather than distinguishing the answer from the characteristics of the voice, it is better to say that there is a premonition, just like in a crowd, sometimes you will feel that a gaze is staying on you, although that gaze is not in your line of sight. Still looking back exactly in the direction of the gaze——

It's the one named Tom!

Aaron turned around quickly, but the opponent was still nowhere to be seen.When he turned his head to search again, those watchmen with expressionless faces had all disappeared in an instant.There was no light in front of the iron rolling door, only himself.

A shiver ran down his spine.

Then came a powerful sadness, like a vortex of cold and cold, which tore a hole in his soul.His chest twitched, and he fell to the ground in pain.

I don't know what happened just now, and I don't remember whether it was just a few seconds, or it has been a few hours. Now his whole consciousness is only left with that hole, and he feels that there are countless invisible and sad shadows, line by line. , wave after wave, scrambling to pass through the hole in his heart...

He couldn't resist the feeling that he had just experienced a great grief, as if the entire dark night sky carried an invisible weight, oppressing his heart.

Perhaps because he absorbed too much of those unknowable desperations, he began to have difficulty breathing.His legs were paralyzed and unable to move, so he could only continue to shiver in the freezing cold air.

Until he slowly came back to his senses, arched his back, and crouched in place like a stray cat.

From his eyes blurred by tears, he saw that the characters MELODY were lit up again, flickered a few times like will-o'-the-wisps, and then quietly turned into a gray shadow.

①? Means kill two birds with one stone.

②?Foreigners, foreigners, Hokkien.

③? That is, the pinyin gīng, using one thing to prop up another thing or two things to support each other, Hokkien.

④ Husband.A woman refers to a man with whom she is married, in Hokkien.