waste

Weakness?

Li Xu couldn't help laughing at himself when he put the egg yolk cake brought from home on the Shuyuan table early the next morning.

There are so many weaknesses in him, how many people can care about him, and how many people can attack him with his weaknesses?

Before Shu Yuan came back, Li Xu put down the snack box and left. After turning out of the classroom door, he went straight to the liberal arts class of the third year of high school.

At this point, there are already a lot of people in the third year of high school. After all, the college entrance examination is imminent, and the prospective high school seniors are racing against time. No one wants others to spend even one minute more review time than themselves.

Li Xu walked to class 15, leaned on the front door openly, and scanned everyone's faces like a scanner.Li Xu was a little disappointed as there were mostly girls in the liberal arts class, and none of the boys present was familiar to him.

The girl sitting by the front door was made uncomfortable by Li Xu who was standing at the door. Even though Li Xu was notoriously bad-natured in school, her face was indeed recognized as pretty. Anyone who was stared at by such a person Unable to divert attention.

"Hey," the next moment, Li Xu put his hands on her desk, "Is there a newcomer in your class?"

The girl was startled: "Ah, you mean Lu Zhengqiang?"

"Yes," Li Xu almost applauded, and the trip was worthwhile, "Is he not here?"

"Not here," the girl could tell without turning her head, "he won't come back until morning reading."

"Which seat is he sitting in?"

The girl pointed to the penultimate seat in the fourth row.

Hadron.

Lu Zhengqiang.

When he returned to his class, Li Xu was still thinking about these two names in his heart.If there is no coincidence between the names, this should be what Shu Yuan said Qiangzi didn't run away.

The bell for morning reading brought back his wandering thoughts, Li Xu casually picked up the book, opened it and held it in his hand, Shu Yuan next to him looked at him: "English."

"Oh." Li Xu found the Chinese book he was holding. He rummaged through the drawer, found the English book, threw the Chinese book in, and glanced at the page Shu Yuan had opened.

This impartial glance allowed him to see the snack box in the other's drawer.

Li Xu immediately put Qiangzi's matter aside, he leaned over and disturbed Shu Yuan who was reading the text: "Is it delicious?" He can trust Aunt Tian's craftsmanship, last time Shu Yuan finished eating mangoes at his house Simi Lu's attitude towards him has improved a lot.

Shu Yuan only paused for a few seconds, and when he focused his eyes on the textbook, he no longer knew where everyone was reading.He held the book in one hand, reached into the drawer with the other, found the snack box and put it back on Li Xu's desk.

"What?" Li Xu opened the box, and there was a lot of egg yolk cakes inside, "You didn't eat it?"

Shu Yuan's voice was hidden behind the erected textbook: "No need."

"If you hide downstairs and cry like yesterday, I can't control you." Li Xu played Shu Yuan's textbook.

Remembering that Li Xu saw the embarrassment yesterday, Shu Yuan glared at him bitterly, took a draft pad from the table, wrote a few words and threw it over.

"Yesterday I went out in a hurry and didn't eat breakfast. I ate it today." The usual Junxiu handwriting was slightly scribbled at the moment. Li Xu imagined the image of Shu Yuan baring his teeth and claws, and thought it was very cute, like the biscuits when he couldn't catch the cat teaser .

After class, Li Xu held the snack box in front of Shu Yuan: "Just eat one piece, and I won't take it tomorrow."

Shu Yuan stared at the egg yolk cake without moving, Li Xu took the lead and stuffed a piece into his mouth, and said vaguely: "Don't worry, I didn't poison you."

Shu Yuan reluctantly picked up a piece and ate it.

Today's opening ceremony rehearsal, Shu Yuan was uncharacteristically, he waited until Li Xu went downstairs to follow him, and when he left the arena, he followed Li Xu's side every step of the way, but the end of his eyes was uninterruptedly aimed at the rehearsal field on the side of the third year .

Li Xu guessed who he was looking at, but still pretended not to know and followed his gaze: "Who are you looking for?"

"No." Shu Yuan immediately lowered his head.

In the next few rehearsals, Li Xu observed that Shu Yuan always glanced in the direction of the senior year intentionally or unintentionally, but went straight to hide in crowded places.

"He seems a little afraid of Qiangzi," Li Xu leaned against Gu Xiang in the corridor outside their class, "Do you want to see someone but don't want the other party to see you?"

"...It's kind of perverted," Gu Qu laughed, "How do you say it looks like stalking?"

"Maybe there is something wrong with my expression." Li Xu touched his trouser pocket, remembering that this is a teaching building where smoking is not allowed. "Shu Yuan seems to want to know where Qiangzi is at any time, so as to hide in a place where Qiangzi will not be found."

He felt that no matter which way of expressing it, there was a sense of weirdness, but he couldn't tell what was weird.

Gu Qu was also puzzled by what he heard. He squatted on the ground and propped his cheeks on his hands to meditate for a while, his legs went numb and he stood up again and leaned against the wall.

"I only think of two situations," Gu Qian briefly analyzed, "either the love of inferiority, or the fear of being hurt."

The former looks around because he likes it, and hides because he feels inferior.

The latter, because they are afraid of being hurt, try to hide in the opponent's blind spot as much as possible.

"It can't be the former," Li Xu quickly denied, "I went to class 15 to see Qiangzi, and his appearance is rather wretched... I don't judge people by their appearance, he is really wretched, the kind that exudes from the inside out Dirty temperament, anyway, I don't want to get in touch with such a person."

"What if Shu Yuan likes this type?" Gu Qu asked.

"Impossible." Li Xu frowned, with an unacceptable expression, "I've known the people in his class. Qiangzi is quite arrogant and arrogant, and he doesn't give a very good impression."

"Okay," Gu Qu concluded, "That's the latter."

——The fear of being hurt.

This conclusion flashed across Li Xu's mind.

Why do you get hurt?

In what way does it hurt?

How much have you been hurt?

Related questions lingered in Li Xu's mind for a whole day, so that when he followed Shu Yuan after school, when the other party looked back at him because of his rare silence, he didn't quickly put away his solemn expression.

"Last time you said you had a performance," Shu Yuan said in a flat tone, "Which one will be on stage?"

"Number—" Li Xu's eyes lit up, "Do you want to come and see?"

"It's fine if you're the last one in the queue." Shu Yuan said.

"Second," Li Xu clapped two fingers, "I'll take you home after the performance."

Shu Yuan nodded, agreeing.

He was walking on the school road with a backpack on his back, the orange-red sunset above his head, and the continuous shade of trees under his feet.

Li Xu stretched out his thumb and index finger as a camera, and framed Shu Yuan's back in the late summer dusk into his lens.

If the fear comes from the lack of ability to resist, he wants to be a sharp weapon in Shu Yuan's hands.

***

The Sports and Arts Festival came as scheduled. The class formation at the opening ceremony appeared in the order of grades from low to high, and the class that finished the formation sat down at the designated position on the playground lawn.

When walking in the phalanx in the third year of high school, Shu Yuan raised her neck high and looked for strange faces among the strange crowd.

Li Xu switched seats with the boy behind Shu Yuan, sat behind Shu Yuan and asked, "Did the phalanx perform well?"

"I don't watch performances," Shu Yuan said bluntly, "I'm looking for someone."

Li Xu stopped beating around the bush: "Qiangzi?"

"Yeah." Shu Yuan didn't hide anything.

Now the phalanx shouting slogans in front of the rostrum is Class 13. Shu Yuan clenched his hands on his knees into fists and stared intently at the boys in that class.

still none.

There were only a few left in the class who hadn't played yet, Shu Yuan was so nervous that a layer of cold sweat oozes from his back, he couldn't help shivering, and a nauseating feeling rose up his throat.

He got up quickly, covering his mouth and trying to get out of the team, but Li Xu grabbed his arm.

"What are you going for?" Li Xu looked up at him.

Shu Yuan's face was terribly pale, he wanted to break free from Li Xu's hand, but at this moment he couldn't exert any strength at all.

"Go...to the bathroom." A few ethereal words leaked from between his fingers covering his mouth.

The voice of the host broadcasting the class introduction hit Li Xu's ears, and he tightened Shu Yuan's hand: "It's Class 14's turn, wait a little longer."

"No..." Shu Yuan shook his head, Li Xu's hands were struggling violently, "Let go."

People around looked over one after another, Li Xu didn't mind being watched, but he was afraid that Shu Yuan would feel uncomfortable.

"I'll go with you." He propped himself up on the ground and jumped up, holding Shu Yuan's shoulders and quickly left the playground.

There was no one in the teaching building, and the sound of rushing water in the bathroom was extremely loud in the quiet space.

Shu Yuan splashed cold water on his face, suppressed the feeling of vomiting forcibly before turning off the faucet.

The person in the mirror is no longer as proud as before. He has become timid and easily frightened, like a tiger whose fangs have been worn down.

Shu Yuan shakes off the water from her hands, and wipes her face again.He turned out of the bathroom, and Li Xu was leaning on the railing of the corridor looking in the direction of the playground.

Seeing Shu Yuan come out, Li Xu handed over the cup that was just filled with hot water: "Does your stomach still hurt this time?"

He knew the reason, but he always hoped that Shu Yuan could tell him the truth.If this is a scar that Tao cannot heal by itself, he doesn't want to uncover it himself, he wants to heal it for Shu Yuan.

Shu Yuan held the water glass, feeling the warmth of the hot water in her cold palm.

Every time he loses control, it comes at the wrong time, and he tries his best to cover it up, but the panic in his heart is exposed in front of Li Xu.

"Which class is Qiangzi in?" Shu Yuan asked.

Inexplicably, he felt that Li Xu knew a lot, but he was not sure how much Li Xu knew.The degree of insight seems to be controlled within the range he feels safe, and it won't make him panic when someone knows the secret.

Li Xu glanced at him, then leaned back on the guardrail again.

The class phalanx has already finished, and the dean is giving a speech on the stage at this moment. The lengthy opening remarks echoed above the entire playground, loud and passionate, but made the students below doze off uncontrollably.

"Class 15," Li Xu pointed to a certain place, "Over there, the fourth-to-last class." On the lawn, each class was divided into two long lines, and it was obvious where Class 15 was.

Shu Yuan is not short-sighted, but the distance is too far, he can't tell who is who.

"What's his full name?" Shu Yuan turned around and asked with his back leaning against the guardrail.

Li Xu smiled lightly, put his elbows on the side, and asked him sideways: "How can you be sure that I know his name?"

"Guess," Shu Yuan said indifferently, "It's fine if you guess wrong."

Li Xu clearly understood that Shu Yuan was not using aggressive methods, he really didn't care, Qiangzi's name might not be important to him.

"Lu Zhengqiang," Li Xu said, "it's better to call Qiangzi."

The corner of Shu Yuan's mouth twitched, Li Xu thought he was smiling, but when he saw it clearly, he found the contempt in his eyes.He had never seen Shu Yuan showing such an expression, what exactly happened that made him fearful and dismissive of Qiangzi?

"You hate him?" Li Xu asked tentatively.

Actually, this question shouldn't be asked, he doesn't know Shu Yuan's past, so he can't solve the other party's troubles.But he still asked, he wanted to figure out how much he would sacrifice for Shu Yuan if he told him what was on his mind.

"Hate?" Shu Yuan muttered the word, "Rather than hate, it's better to look down on it."

He despises those who become lackeys of the perpetrators, and under the banner of "serving the elder brother", he and his accomplices trample on the weak as ants.

They take pleasure in bullying, with black blood flowing from their bodies, and they boast that they are powerful enough to throw their consciences into the stinking ditch.