Huaigui

"Do you remember Yang Fuqu?"

Luo Hua was silent, but this sentence made He Lan Mingyue's originally relaxed mood tense up.He looked at Gao Jing in disbelief, but the other party kept his head down and didn't look back.

The taste of sweet porridge still lingers on the back of his tongue after thousands of days and nights. Every time he thinks of it, the cloying scent, the overly soft body and Gao Jing's whispers are entangled in his ears, and finally only the lingering Nausea bitter.He remembered that night, and he will never forget it.

He will never forget every minute and every second that followed.

He thought that if he didn't mention it, that incident would pass like this, just like his love for Gao Jing, whether he hated it or not, was slowly diluted by time into a plain and watery memory.

But using him, letting him do this has nothing to do with the brink of life and death...

This is the whole source of why he doesn't regret after asking Gao Jing.

Do you see me as a human being?

Gao Jing mentioned it abruptly, as if a hand clenched his heart and then slowly let go, He Lan Mingyue didn't know what expression he could make, and suppressed the nausea of ​​pantothenic acid.Not only was he himself a victim, Helan Mingyue once thought about that woman, but they hadn't seen each other since then, and he didn't know her name.

It turned out to be "Fuqu", and like him, it was Gao Jing's pawn.

Helan Mingyue's throat moved, and she was able to ask, "Is she alive?"

Gao Jing shook his head silently, Helan Mingyue expected it - even if Gao Jingrong, Ziwei City, a place that can eat people, would not be able to accommodate her. Just as he was about to speak, Gao Jing said again: "She threw herself into the lake."

He Lan Mingyue said "hmm", this topic made him feel so difficult to talk to Gao Jing after a long time, and he wanted to find a reason to leave.But before he was allowed to think clearly, Gao Jinghong rolled her eyes and said, "I don't want to do this."

Thought he was talking about Yang Fuqu's death, He Lanmingyue had no intention of comforting him at all.

A woman's reputation is more important than anything else. She originally married Gao Jing as a child-bearing tool to atone for the family, without even a title, and was forced to do that with the "husband"'s attendant...

Isn't this forcing her to die?

"Where was she... buried?" He Lan Mingyue slowly recovered her voice, "Did you bury her well? I will pay my respects when I go back."

Gao Jing pursed his lips, and said after a long while: "I was buried with the ceremony of the imperial concubine. I want to pursue the title after I ascend the throne, but I haven't had time yet."

"What..." Helan Mingyue didn't expect it, and he also vaguely realized that there was something inside.

"It's strange, isn't it? She was only a concubine during her lifetime, how can she be buried with the ceremony of a concubine after death?" Gao Jing laughed at himself, his fingers were almost clenched red, and his knuckles turned white, "She... left behind a daughter .”

There was a "buzz" in Helan Mingyue's head, and she was completely confused in an instant.

It took him a while to realize what Gao Jing was saying: "You..."

"I never touched her."

After Gao Jing finished speaking, there was no need to say anything else.

Helan Mingyue's face was pale, and all that layer of fatigue faded away due to excessive shock, her teeth were trembling and she almost bit the tip of her tongue, but there was thick blood in her mouth for no reason.The buzzing continued, his tinnitus became more severe, and the wounds all over his body began to scream, but it was not as painful as the old wounds.

His voice trembled: "What crazy things are you talking about?"

Gao Jing still didn't look him in the eyes: "I've already been made a princess."

Hearing that those light gray pupils contained the shock of wars and chaos, Helan Mingyue couldn't help holding the sword, and for the first time, he felt murderous intent towards Gao Jing.

Yanshanxue flashed a cold light, and the blade pointed at its former owner.

"Do you know what crazy words you're talking about?!" He Lan Mingyue growled, and the tip of the sword was almost an inch away from Gao Jing's heart, "Why did you do this, tell me! Are you crazy?!"

Gao Jing said softly: "Otherwise, do you want me to kill the child, or kill the mother and child together?"

Helan Mingyue was speechless.

Xue Liang's sword light was right in front of him, trembling with He Lan's movements, Gao Jing glanced at him, and held Yan Shanxue's sharp sword with one hand.His palm was cut almost immediately, and dark red blood dripped down his plain cuffs and the thin blanket covering his knees along the palm lines and wrist bones, and then quickly fainted.

"Do you think I haven't thought about it? Do you think others haven't persuaded me? My mother even gave me abortion pills three times. If I were willing, Yang Fuqu would not even leave my name!"

"..."

"I thought she was your daughter." Gao Jing said dejectedly, "I can't do it, her eyes are exactly the same as yours."

Just a short distance away, the branches fluttering in the wind and the flowers are fiery red, matching the color of blood, it actually only makes people feel sad.

He Lan Mingyue was completely unreasonable to his decision: "Gao Jing, you... how could you do such a thing? You are simply a lunatic..."

Gao Jing's eyes were full of sadness, he raised the corner of his mouth and smiled, looked at him and slowly let go of the blade.His eye circles were red, and blood dripped down his fingertips, and what was wet was sin.

"Do you know if I'm crazy or not?"

Yanshan snow fell to the ground with a clang.

Feishuang, who was originally on Gao Jing's forearm, saw that the situation was wrong and had already climbed up the branch. At this moment, he realized that He Lan Mingyue was in a bad mood, and quickly flew to his shoulder with a flower in his mouth.The bird's head tilted, intending to give him a hairpin, but He Lanmingyue's slightly messy hair couldn't support the red flower, and it fell to the ground lightly when the wind blew.

Feishuang was stunned for a moment, spreading his wings and about to leave, only to feel that the master holding onto his shoulder was shaking all the time.

Should he have known that Gao Jing was a lunatic?

But Gao Jing mentioned that it was his daughter, and only fear followed him like a shadow in his heart, making him completely immobile.Does it mean that he is also cold-blooded and has no human emotions?

Then how is he better than Gao Jing?

The transected wound on the palm hadn't stopped bleeding yet, Gao Jing covered it for a while in vain, but it still didn't work. He let go of the ashes, letting the blood dripping continuously and turning his clothes red, but he opened his mouth with a strange question:

"Don't you ask her how she is?"

The sky is bright and the sun is bright, but the heart is gloomy. He Lanmingyue closed her eyes: "How?"

"Her birthday was on the first day of September, the first day of September in Jingming's 18th year. The emperor gave her the name 'Si'. That day... was actually very dangerous, and she almost killed two people. I thought it was God who decided the way out. But as soon as I returned to the East Palace, I heard her cry, and I thought at that time, this is a life." Gao Jing was talking to himself in a trance, his voice was very soft, sometimes he laughed and sometimes frowned, he really seemed to be insane .

"Her facial features resemble yours—in fact, there are many people who gossip behind their backs, and feel that it is embarrassing for the royal family. Besides, I can't tell it when I was born, but I just feel like you. I thought it would be the same as you when I opened my eyes, but her eyes are Black... Mingyue, I miss you so much... I also feel like a lunatic, how could I let Yang Fuchu give birth to her!

"Later, maybe it was all my fault that came back to her. Not long after, Yang Fuqu threw herself into the lake. I thought at the time, this is a good time. No one knows that her parents are gone, so I can only take care of her. But I hate children. , It's really hard to like her wholeheartedly, it's too noisy, it's so noisy, I can't stop crying all day long!

"Uncle Wang scolded me for not wanting to make people feel better. She was still young and fell ill before she could speak, and almost burned her brain—I was really afraid that she would become like Brother Cheng. Brother Cheng also had the same experience when he was young. My thoughts are not clear! So I watched every day, wanted to see, but dared not look, for fear that she would know too early that I would not let her go... Later, the doctor said it was a blessing, but she never spoke again.

"The imperial hospital has checked many times. They said that she is a healthy child, and her throat and ears are fine, but she just doesn't speak. The female doctor explained to me that maybe when she was seriously ill, she couldn't hear the outside voice, and she should have learned to speak at that time. I didn't learn, I don't know how to speak...

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Mingyue, I didn't mean to...

"I never thought she was really disabled, but she... maybe she will be able to talk again one day? Mingyue, she is very smart, she can read words very quickly, not much better than Yudi..."

When he told about the child, He Lanmingyue was also caught in a dilemma.

Clearly it has nothing to do with him, Gao Jing said, with a frown and a frown, it seemed that he was really connected with him by flesh and blood from now on.He Lan Mingyue didn't know how to face his heart, he really had a murderous intention just now.

After doing so many wrong things but still being unable to let go, he said "I miss you so much".

Helan Mingyue felt that her heart was also distorted and unprincipled, knowing that Gao Jing was dangerous, crazy, and scheming.He can leave Gao Jing without forgiving him or looking back, but he can't stop loving him.

Even if there are so many hard-to-let go of the hustle and bustle of memories, the sky is filled with boiling.

Love is love, hate is hate.

Gao Jing is a lunatic, and he just loves this lunatic.

I don't know how long it took, Helan Mingyue took a deep breath and finally calmed down, he understood that no matter how unacceptable it is, it is a foregone conclusion, it is better to stabilize himself first.Seeing that the other party was still at a loss and kept crying, he went over and tore off a piece of his belt and tied it around Gao Jing's wrist to stop the bleeding.

The wound was not deep, but Gao Jing still gasped when he wiped it away. When Helan Mingyue clenched his wrist tightly, Gao Jing was in pain, and he didn't dare to shout or whisper about the pain, so he had to hold back everything.

"You know what happened. I thought Luoyang was dangerous early in the morning and I was afraid that Gao Hong would target her, so I asked Huang Jie to bring her to Pingcheng to raise her—she is here now." He looked up at He Lan.

"Do you want to see Lady Chan?"

Helan Mingyue's fingers gradually increased, as if trying to crush his wrist bones.

The handsome face in front of him, like a spring flower and a mid-autumn moon, is no longer green after many years, but the facial features still reflect the person who felt the light and warmth for the first time in the deepest part of his memory.

Gao Jing was 12 points bad towards him, and also [-] points good at the beginning.

Because of the pain, his face became even more blush. Gao Jing never avoided it, and said persistently: "There are thousands of mistakes, and that is also a life-you don't like it, and Sister Huang doesn't want her to go back to Luoyang with me. But, what do you want?" Do you want to see it?"

He would rather Gao Jing said that he needed the royal family to have a future before making such a bad move, rather than everything because of "I miss you so much".

"Would you like to meet her?"

"..."

"If you refuse, you will disappear in the future."

A drop of hot tears fell speciously on the finger he was pinching Gao Jing.

Helan Mingyue was stunned, let go of Gao Jing and touched his cheek, only to find that the soreness in his nasal cavity had flowed all the way to the bottom of his heart from an unknown moment.

The safflower is fluttering, the wind is blowing, the ice on the pool surface is melting, and it is slightly wrinkled.

He inexplicably heard the sound of breaking at that moment.

Outside the Xiyuan of the princess mansion, He Lanmingyue approached alone as Gao Jing said.He refused Gao Jing to come with him, seeing that he was upset, Gao Jing didn't force it, and he had to deal with the new scars on his hands.

Helan Mingyue stood dazedly beside the half-circle gate of Xiyuan. In the warm spring season, the sun is in full bloom. A few wisterias hang down from the white wall, and a few slender white flowers can already be seen on it.

Entering through the door opening, a small courtyard appears in front of you.There are no strict guards or voices here, and everything seems very peaceful.The running water passes through it, like a small bridge, but the scene of flowing water is much more subtle, probably not preventing children from falling into the water, the stream is extremely shallow, and the gurgling sound of the water is very pleasant.The flowers and trees are flourishing, and the decorations are carefully arranged everywhere. The only big tree is hung with a swing, and there is a path leading to the study next to it.

He Lan Mingyue breathed a sigh of relief for no reason.

He can go back, he has already taken this step, and the rest doesn't matter.

Thinking of this, Helan Mingyue immediately turned around, and at the next moment, a little bit older child came out from behind the big tree - the reason for saying a little bit, in He Lan's opinion, she was too small, like a wrapped up child. Round balls.

Tuanzi was tied into two buns, her bangs were carefully combed in front of her forehead, her clothes fit well, and her embroidered shoes were brightly colored, all of which showed that she was indeed taken care of by Haosheng.Seeing the strange man in front of him who was dressed in a hu suit and could not stop his heroic aura despite being unadorned, she tilted her head slightly, then took two steps towards him, and looked across the small stream across the bank.

Only when he saw that face with his own eyes, would he know why Gao Jing couldn't let go.

It's really too similar.

Helan Mingyue's throat tightened, burning all the way to her stomach.

He wanted to smile at the little girl, but he couldn't do it anyway, so he had to bow and put his knees on his knees to greet her as kindly as possible: "Is it Sichan?"

Gao Jing called her that, but He Lan Mingyue didn't know the exact word.

The little girl nodded when she heard her name, she still looked at him in a daze with her clear black eyes, bit her finger timidly, and smiled after a while.

How would you describe He Lan's mood at this moment?

He had already made preparations not to be accepted, nor to accept this girl. Meeting him was like a certain task, and it was over when it was done, and it had nothing to do with it.He also didn't want the girl to be defenseless the first time she saw a stranger, and even vaguely hoped that she would cry a lot. It would be better to anger Mr. Gao Le, and issue an order to drive him away from now on.

He didn't have the embryonic form of a "daughter" in his heart, and he never expected to have one.

After the little girl laughed, there was still some kindness in her crescent-like eyes. He Lan Mingyue was moved for no reason, but he kept his face expressionless and just stood in a stalemate with her.

Sichan was beyond his expectation once again.

She strode across the stream, and held He Lan Mingyue's hand on her knee without hesitation.She laughed again, dragging He Lan to shake as if she was not afraid of life, her mouth was open, but there was no sound.

He Lan let her sway, his heart softened, and he tried to talk to her: "Are you Chan Niang? Which word?"

Sichan thought for a while and wanted to let go of him and run to the stone table on the other side. Helan Mingyue saw that there were papers and pens on it, so he followed.He watched Channiang rubbing the ink, picking up the pen, and writing on the blank rice paper...

He Lan understood why Gao Jing said she was smart, and she was only three or four years old.

She quickly painted the word and pushed the paper to Helan Mingyue, pointing with her little finger to let Helan see clearly.

Women on the left and single on the right, Chan of Chan Juan.

He Lanmingyue understood what Sichanjuan meant in an instant, and without waiting to think about it, he was dragged by Sichan to the front of the swing.She climbed up on hands and feet and stood up, very agile, then raised her chin towards Helan Mingyue——

He even asked him to push.

He couldn't help showing his first smile since the afternoon.

Xiyuan is really quiet. There are no children crying, no worldly worries, only falling flowers, running water and breeze.

Maybe even if it's not for the ridiculous blood relationship, he should really come to see Gao Sichan.

Helan Mingyue thought so, and pushed the swing higher, and the little girl standing on it looked smug, stepping on the swing seat with one foot, like a drumbeat.

That day he played with Gao Sichan until she was sleepy, and then naturally carried her into the room to rest.The wet nurse who was taking a nap came back at this time, facing the strange man in Xiyuan who was at a loss, He Lanmingyue didn't say much, handed Sichan to her and left on her own.

His left shoulder hurts again, but his heart is rarely relaxed.

On the way back, she ran into Tang Feiyi who came to give Gao Jing an injection. The woman said bluntly, "Are you in a good mood?"

He Lan Mingyue said naturally: "Just now I went to meet a very interesting little girl."

Tang Feiyi said "Oh" half-understood, and said, "That's not bad."

Is it good?He thought of the swing seat in the West Garden and the sound of the wind in his ears, the initial resentment was moistened and silently turned into a rain that fell on the dry wasteland in his heart.